Goff 1 Dustin Goff ENC1102 Professor Wolcott August 26, 2013 Literacy Narrative Rough Draft Literacy for

me is in itself two vastly different parts. Many of the stories told about a students path to literacy are well balanced. They learn how to read and write at an even pace and it leads them to being better learners and going further in life. Malcolm X for example teaches himself to read which helps him write and he goes from there reading and writing. There never seems to be a story about a lopsided literary learner, someone who does better specifically with reading or writing, not both. I unfortunately am cursed with this. I developed a strong sense of reading but the writing aspect has always lacked. While I could always write to an acceptable standard, it was nowhere near what it should be. This somewhat has to do with where my passion lies. Reading is an impressive tool, it unlocks mass amounts of knowledge stored and compiled over years. It also is a source of entertainment, making readers engage their imaginations to the extent nothing else can. Writing on the other hand is a whole different aspect of literacy. It takes creativity and not just imagination. While a student such as myself can have a very vivid imagination, the ability to creatively organize and write down such things is where it becomes difficult. It is the difference between just writing down your thoughts and actually composing them into a story or a research paper. I have remained split for years when it has come to literacy and little has happened to change that. My love for reading began at a young age. When I was in the third grade I started at a new school. I acclimated quickly to the school with minimal discomfort. Every other week we had to go to the school library for a lesson and to read. Our teacher would drop off our class and

Goff 2 we were then at the mercy of the librarian. I despised these lesson to no end and I did not necessarily enjoy the reading either. The librarian would go on and on about rules and respecting the books. We were also only allowed to read from specific sections at a time. One day in the middle of her speech I stood up and said, Can we just read the books. I blurted this out not because I wanted to read, but really just to get her to be quiet. This did not go over well with her. She dragged me back to the teachers room and told her what happened. She also advised that I be sent to the principals office. The librarian left and my teacher asked me why I did what I did. I just looked at the ground and said, I just wanted her to quiet talking so we could read. My teacher started laughing and said, I dont blame you. I was in shock at what she just said. She then let me sit down and choose any book from the class library and read till the class came back. This was my first exposure to the freedom of reading. Before it seemed like all I did was read required things and just stayed in line with the standards. I picked up a book and began to read. From that point on I began to love reading. I would read every chance I got, especially if it was a book I got to choose. It did not matter the subject matter or what the story was about I simply was happy reading about anything. I always wondered what to call my teacher and it was till years later that I realized she was a sponsor for me. She helped me understand the freedom of reading and opened the door to the reading aspect of my literary journey. I still pick up a book every chance I get. While my reading skills developed well past the standards of institutions, my writing remained acceptable at best. I never felt as attached to writing. While teachers always tried to tell me that a writer, if anything is freer than a reader, I could never see it that way. I always felt restricted when I would write and I blame this on my lack of creativity. I began to really realize this when I started high school and was required to write lengthier papers and papers that

Goff 3 required more thought to them. I would always have to try my hardest just to write something that was passing. The ironic part though was when it came to peer reviews I loved reading other students papers. I not only enjoyed it but I was actually good at the reviewing process. It seemed that I could read a paper and pick out things that could be a little better. When it came to actually writing my paper however I was baffled at the simplest of things. I would talk to my fellow students about writing and it seemed that they could just articulate thoughts into written words much better than I could, but when it came to understanding the written words I was above most of them. The thing that really made me realize I was so split when it came to literacy was my ACT scores. I took it with the essay as was recommended by my guidance counselor. I hated every second of the essay. When I got my scores back my essay score was a point below average while my reading was exceptionally higher and well above average. My lack of the ability to articulate my thoughts onto paper began to really show how it would affect me in my academic career. My lack of creativity seemed to make writing not only more challenging but also embarrassing for me. At first when I was writing I never really thought about my work and just turned it in for a grade. Once I reached high school however it became apparent that writing was becoming more important. Around this time I also became exposed more to other students writing and realized how much I was lacking. I started my path to becoming a writing hermit. I refused to let anyone see my work. I would have kept it from the teacher if it was not required that I give the paper to her. My mother who excels in writing offered to look at my papers and help me improve them. I would say that the paper is fine and I do not need help. While I loved reading other students papers I despised when they had to read mine for peer review. I had the materials and sponsors at my disposal but I refused to use any of them. Even if the teacher would

Goff 4 read over the paper with me I would just nod my head and let her write down things without taking in any useful information. I would just fix the few errors and try to make the paper a little better for the final. I always felt judged when someone read my paper, even though I know those offering help would never do that. This embarrassment put a hold on any improvement my writing skills could have had. Now I am sitting here writing a paper about literacy and how I lack writing skills. My love for reading has continued and I still have my same skill set when it comes to understanding someone elses words. Unfortunately when it comes to my writing skills, little has changed. With the start of college I learned to look pass some of the embarrassment I feel when others read my work, however I have not benefitted much. I still feel like I lack the ability to articulate and form ideas to put on paper. I was blessed to have materials and sponsors available to me however I neglected half of them. I read every book I could get my hand on and I had intellectual discussions about books all the time, but when it came to writing I used and still barely use any of these resources. I still want to achieve balanced literacy; however as of now I still remain lopsided.

Goff 5 Works Cited Brandt, Deborah. "Sponsors of Literacy." CCC (1998): 165-85. Print. X, Malcolm, and Alex Haley. "Learning to Read." The Autobiography of Malcolm X. New York: Ballantine, 1992. N. pag. Print.