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Ada, Ohio- The Annual EMC football game is scheduled for this Saturday at 1pm. The teams will be chosen on wednesday and the draft looks to be very interesting as there is a wide variety of talent and the order could be determined by each captains strategy. A scouting report has been created using our sources and previous experiences such as cross country camp. It looks like the sophomores are going to take the tournament, again. 1.

Richard Patterson- Richards experience in rugby gives him the edge over the
rest of the team. He told everybody that he wasnt running for personal reasons but he was really just getting ready for this game. He has a 3 month head start on everybody else on the team and has scored several tries, which we all know is really a touchdown. Hes a Trent Richardson type of back.
Player 1. Richard Patterson 2. Kenton Holliday 3. Michael Simmons 4. Mark Berton 5. Dan Steigerwald 6. Evan McKee 7. Tom Gerberich 8. Greg Krasnoschlik 9. William Huddleston 10. Eric Wymer 11. Ryan Valentine 12. Brett Neutzling 13. Kyle Wagner 14. Matt Bayman 15. Tyler Feitshans 16. Mike Taylor 17. Nathan Rosenbaum 18. Jonathan Wherry 19. Matt Ernstes 20. Ben Ankrom* 21. Tobias Deardorff 22. BRyan Valentine* 23. Michael Potter 24. Bobcat 25. Ian Trau 26. Jordan Kloss 27. Dan Sowa 28. Pumpkin 29. Jeffrey Denny 30. Nathan Barchalk Pos. RB/DT RB/MLB RB/DE QB/S QB/CB RB/CB WR/DE FB/DT WR/CB WR/S FB/DT RT/DT WR/OLB TE/OLB C/DE TE/DE TE/OLB C/DT LT/DL WR/S TE/S KR/PR RG/MLB RB/CB QB/DT K/P WR/S RT/OLB RB/S RB/CB School Lebanon Van Wert Saint Charles Saint Wendelin Westerville Central Medina Revere Independence Up North Van Buren Unioto Ontario Saint Johns Milford Tippecanoe Watkins Orrville Neshannock Moeller Circleville Edgewood Unioto HIGH Waterford McNicholas Lakota West Twinsburg Shaler Area McNicholas Colerain Mogadore

2.

Kenton Holliday- Kenton gets the nod for the

number two spot because of his size and speed. Tackling this kid will be very difficult and on both sides of the ball he will wreak havoc on the other team. He also has several ape-like features that give him the edge over other athletes. No soul can completely stop him, so hopefully Simmons is on the other team.

3.

Michael Simmons- Simmons is a beast and he

possibly could have been projected first but because of a slight set back hes a close third. In his lacrosse years, Simmons learned how to be fearless and that alone should scare all of his competitors. Possesses similarities to Troy Polamalu, Clay Matthews and Andy Dalton.

4.

Mark Berton- With Dan Smiths graduation, a

huge vacancy at quarterback has been created and Berton seems like the top candidate to fill it. As the leader of the cross country team this year, it seems fit that he would again lead his team but this time on the gridiron. I expect

*Participation questionable

that he will account for several touchdowns while singing Good Time and Call Me Maybe. 5.

Dan Steigerwald- Last year, Dan emerged as an offensive threat and looks to build
on that this year. If the field isnt as muddy as last year he may be contained better, especially if Ryan Valentine is on the opposing team. Has the height of an elite QB and is a Michael Vick type of quarterback.

6.

Evan McKee- Evan is arguably the fastest guy on the ONU team with his middy
quickness (Excluding Richard, of course, who is a long sprinter). He is a change of pace running back that will give his team another dimension in their running game behind Simmons, Richard or Holliday. Sources say that he could go as high as three but that he could also fall as far as eighth because of his sudden urges to rip his shirt off, which would result in an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty.

7.

Tom Gerberich- Being a youth ministry major would lead most people to believe
that Tom is gentle giant, but from experience everyone knows that is false. Tom has the height to be a number one wide receiver and tenacity to be a terror on the d-line. Possesses similar qualities to Plaxico Burress.

8.

Greg Krasnoschlik- Greg looks to have another solid year and might be one of
the most feared players on the field after he took out Kyle Wagner last year. Looks like a John Kuhn type of full back that can really make an impact blocking and running the ball.

9.

William Huddleston- The kids from M*chigan and will be out to prove that he
isnt as bad as the players on the team up north. Hes still upset about the game and he feels like he has something to prove for his state. Has good hands and could be a big play maker if he doesnt trip or get hit balls.

10. Eric Wymer- Wymer is an athlete, as he has shown in the assortment of games that he has played such as volleyball and basketball. The only downside that I see is his love for Mark Berton. It is possible that he would intentionally avoid tackling Berton to prevent any possible harm done to his role model and their bromance. 11. Ryan Valentine- If Valentine can avoid meth for the day he has a high value in this game, but that is a huge if. If there is good footing, I expect several sacks from R-Val but if it is muddy I see a repeat from last year happening. 12. Brett Neutzling- Brett is very quiet but on the field I expect to see him unleash his fury on the other team. Bretts hunting instincts will give him an advantage on the field. Expect him to say maybe two words the entire game.

13. Kyle Wagner- It is rumored that Kyle will not play this year due to his injury last year. It is believed that he is scared of his current roommate. His Toledo instincts would help in this game as he grew up around criminals similar to Ndamukong Suh, Nick Fairley and the rest of the Detroit Lions team. All of his days running through back yards and jumping over fences to elude the cops will pay off. 14. Matt Bayman- Bayman is the most determined guy on the team, as he showed during the volleyball game at cross country camp. He can take over a game when he wants/has to. He simply will not lose, if theres anything he can do about it. You wont have to worry about him getting injured because he will be stretched out completely and will be wearing enough layers that he will be protected from any hits. 15. Tyler Feitshans- Tyler is one of the nicest guys on the team but there are two situations that would cause him to change. One is if anyone ever did anything to Casey and the other is on the football field. 16. Mike Taylor- Over the past year, Mike has learned how to tame the biggest of beasts. If he can handle a tiger, what cant he handle? My only concern is that he has learned football through watching the Spartans, which could result in missed tackles, and lots of turnovers. 17. Nathan Rosenbaum- After his years of learning from Bobby Knight, Rosenbaum has learned how to win in games and arguments. When drafting, captains should avoid picking both Rosenbaum and Kyle Wagner, as they will most likely argue about what play they should run and will never get anything done. 18. Jonathan Wherry- Jon has shown that he can take a hit, as we witnessed at the team dinner at the Taj, when he took a solid punch to the stomach. 19. Matt Ernstes- Matt brings intensity to the game and can make people cry as the picture to the left shows. Hes my dark horse for the MVP award. 20. Ben Ankrom- This is where I would pick Bankrom if he was able to play this year. He has a lot of speed that could get him open on his routes. If I were a captain, I would talk him into coaching their team. He has the knowledge and experience to make a great coach and I believe he could be the X-Factor, like a nuclear reactor. 21. Tobias Deardorff- Tobias claims to have been working the last year and a half but sources say that he may in fact have been training for this game. He wants to go out in a bang, and he has the capability to shred defenses with his speed.

22. BRyan Valentine- Even when hes high, Bryan has the size and speed to be a good option. This is the more likely version of Valentine on Saturday so plan on drafting him here. 23. Michael Potter- The Brett Favre of the team (he actually has much less hair than Favre). Hell bring wisdom and the Utah offense to the team. Hes killing it on NCAAF 13, so I expect him to bring this to the game on Saturday. 24. Bobcat- The only reason hes not higher on my list, is we all know hell probably be snatching cards during timeouts and other breaks. 25. Trau- Trau looks like a good option for a backup quarterback and is an insurance policy if one of the elite QBs goes down. His specialty is the Bootleg as he has perfected this over the past couple years. Also if anything goes wrong, his teammates can just say frickin Trau and everything is automatically ok. 26. Jordan Kloss- Kloss played soccer for most of his high school career, which makes him a Phil Dawson kind of player. I expect him to choke just like Twinsburgs soccer team in the palyoffs. 27. Dan Sowa- Hes pretty small, but hes quick and will be a good defensive player. Hopefully hes not as big of a lightweight as he is at the Taj. Might stop somebody in their tracks with his creepy smile. 28. Pumpkin- Pumpkin seems to be at his best when it doesnt matter, although he did prove that this isnt always true, with his performance at regionals. If the game gets out of hand, watch out. 29. Toodles- The only reason hes not last is because somehow Barchalk got his grades high enough to run again. Judging from all of the athletic things Jeffrey has done (< 3 things) over the past two years, his main purpose will be to lure the other team to him and to guard Barchalk. 30. Nathan Barchalk A.K.A Weak Ass- Nathan is the weakest guy on the team. I wouldnt be surprised if he has to get carted off the field because everybody is out to get him. Even his own team will tackle him to get a crack at him. Hes all talk and no game.

Game Awards
M.V.P: Tobias Deardorff- His extra training while he was away put him on top and he runs
away with this award.

Most Improved: Jeffrey Denny- He can only get better from last year. Rookie of the Year: Dan Sowa- With his team down by one with 5 seconds left, Dan
screams PONIES and while everyone is distracted he runs 99 yards for the score. This play becomes famous and is even used by the Browns in Super Bowl XLIX.

Defensive Player of the Year: Greg Krasnoschlik- Greg tackles Vader at the 1 yard
line causing a fumble, which sets up Sowas 99 yard touchdown. While being tackled, Wagner does the splits and is forced to leave the game.