Funny quotes

"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." -- Truman Capote

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

Fairy tales: horror stories for children to get them used to reality.

I have the oldest typewriter in the world. It types in pencil.

"Most people have read The Hobbit, picked up Lord of the Rings and have gone 'Ugggh... if I have to read one more three-page description of a tree...'"

"After The Wizard Of Oz I was typecast as a lion, and there aren't all that many parts for lions." Bert Lahr.

The report of my death was an exaggeration. Mark Twain Buy land. They've stopped making it. Mark Twain Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. Oscar Wilde I like talking to a brick wall, it's the only thing in the world that never contradicts me. Oscar Wilde I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it. William Faulkner History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. Winston Churchill There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. William Somerset Maugham