Elbert Davis CI 706 Final Project 7/28/09

Lesbian Perspective of Life in Appalachia

Abstract: Purpose: Lesbians face a unique dilemma in todays society. Lesbians are considered a double minority, being women and having same-sex partners. Society has only recently began to accept homosexual individuals into the mainstream. While advances have been made into equal treatment for lesbians, there is much work left to be done. The purpose of this research is to understand the life of the lesbian in Appalachia.

Rationale: This paper will explore the life of the lesbian female located in a conservative rural area of North Carolina, in Appalachia.

Procedures: A survey will take place using the social networking site, Facebook. Questions include those relating to careers, religious views, education, and day-to-day life. Two subjects will be surveyed for their thoughts on aspects of life. The following nine questions will be asked of the subjects:

1) When did you first discover your current sexual orientation? 2) Have you ever been treated differently in public places because of your sexuality? If so, explain? 3) Have you ever been denied service due to your sexuality? If so, explain. 4) How do your religious views intertwine with your sexuality, if at all? 5) Has your career been affected by your sexual orientation? If so, how? 6) Have you ever been the victim of a hate-crime, based on your sexuality? If so, how? 7) Between the time you discovered your sexuality until the present time, have you noticed there is more acceptance, less acceptance, or the same amount of acceptance in your daily life? Please explain. 8) What do you feel is the biggest advantage to being a lesbian in North Carolina is, if any? 9) What do you feel is the biggest disadvantage to being a lesbian in North Carolina is, if any?

The surveys will be analyzed for instances of differential treatment in various instances of life. A literature review will be completed to compare the subjects experiences with others in additional research.

Risks/Benefits: No risks or benefits will occur from completing this survey. The survey will not be recorded. Notes taken during the survey (if any) will be submitted electronically to the principal investigator at the end of the semester

Inclusion/Exclusion: Only lesbians living in rural North Carolina will be included in the sample size for this survey.

Introduction: Lesbian women are a double minority in todays society. They are women with a homosexual lifestyle. Since there is less population in rural areas, it goes to reason that there are fewer lesbians than in urban areas. North Carolina is part of the traditional Bible Belt of Appalachia. Although exact boundaries do not exist, it is generally considered to cover much of the area stretching from Texas in the southwest, north to most of Missouri, northeast to Virginia, and southeast to northern Florida (Bible Belt-Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, n.d., pp2). This qualitative study attempts to discover the attitudes of two lesbian females, who are in a committed relationship with one another, toward religion, career, acceptance, advantages and disadvantages of homosexuality in the rural South, hate crimes, and denial of services.

Literature Review:

Religious groups are among the top reasons that gays encounter resistance on achieving the same rights as non-gays. Perhaps the most obvious factor is the number of self-identified evangelical Protestants in the United States who, depending on the measure employed, comprise approximately 22 percent of the population (Adam, 2003, pg. 5). With the recent controversy over the concept of same-sex marriage, the rights of individuals who are with same-sex partners have received media attention throughout the nation.

The issue emerged in late spring, after Christian conservatives met with the Republican leadership to complain that their agenda was being ignored. In mid-June, and on national television, Senate majority leader Trent Lott (R) of Missouri compared homosexuality to alcoholism, sex addiction, and kleptomania. Gay-rights activists, Democrats, and even some Republicans immediately charged that such rhetoric promotes bigotry, and they cited medical findings that homosexuality is not a disease or a disorder that needs fixing. Next, a coalition of Christian groups ran full-page ads in leading newspapers praising Senator Lott and reiterating their view that homosexuals engage in "sexual sin." The ads characterized gay people as ultimately self-destructive, and featured an ex-lesbian who found happiness in Christian healing. Gay-rights groups fired back with ads of their own, pointing out that many gay people are deeply religious and spiritual. These ads featured a happy family of Republicans who say their lesbian daughter deserves dignity, respect, and a fair shot at life. (Marks, 1998 pps 8-11.) Until 1973, homosexuality was considered a mental disease (Benishek, Dannenfelser, and Newman, 2001). It is still debated today whether homosexuality is a choice or is something that is not a choice. Homosexual rights is an idea that began to assume the force and energy of a movement hard on the heels of the women's movement (which itself, of course, gained energy and force from the civil rights movement that preceded it). It began with the demand that homosexuals no longer be considered pariahs, bedeviled by the authorities and viewed with unconcealed discomfort by many of their fellow citizens (Dexter, 2007, pp3).

According to the 2000 Census data in the U.S., one out of three lesbian couples and one out of five gay couples are raising children in the country. These same-sex parent families live in 96% of counties in the U.S. (Joslin, 2005, pp1). The children of these couples could have emotional issues if one of the partners were to pass away. If the deceased partner is the biological parent of the children, the other partner has no legal rights to the child, despite having taken on the role as parent, and providing the same The Lesbian, Gay, and Straight Education Network did a study where almost 50% of children with non-heterosexual parents reported hearing school staff using a homophobic slur (B.M, 2008). If the staff are using slurs, I wonder what the percentage of students would be that use slurs, whether directly or indirectly toward these students.

Description of the Subjects:

The subjects are a convenience sample. The respondents are two lesbian females from a rural area in North Carolina in the United States of America. Both are Caucasian. The ages of the women are from 40-50 and are well known to the co-investigator. One female has been a friend of the co-investigator for 17 years, while the other female has been a friend of the co-investigator for eight years. The women were chosen for this study due to their sexual orientation, their location in rural North Carolina, and their life experiences, and the convenience of the coinvestigator. One of the women has a Bachelors Degree, while the other has completed some college coursework.

Between the two women, there are three offspring. There are two boys and one girl, all adults, and all presently enrolled college students. All three children are employed at various jobs while attending classes.

Description of the Setting:

This study has two settings. Initially, the informed consent was obtained in person in rural North Carolina over the weekend of July 18th and July 19th, 2009. The drive to North Carolina took approximately 4-6 hours. From Huntington, I-64 was traveled through Charleston, the state capital of West Virginia. I-77 South, a toll road, was taken until reaching the West Virginia/Virginia border. I-77 South and I-81 South merged at Beckley, West Virginia. The roads separate at Wytheville, Virginia. I-77 was traveled on until reaching the Virginia/North Carolina border. At mile marker 14, traffic was slowed due to an accident at mile marker 3. A signpost and road signs alerted travelers to the accident. Traffic remained clogged for 45 minutes until I arrived at mile marker 5. At this point, traffic flow increased to normal speeds. In Statesville, North Carolina, I-40 was taken until reaching the destination. (East/West directions of I-40 intentionally omitted to preserve anonymity of subjects.) A total of three stops were made. I stopped to refuel the 2004 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited I was traveling in once. I stopped at a McDonalds drive-thru (sic) to eat, and once at an interstate rest stop in North Carolina to eradicate 3 12-ounce servings of Coca-Cola from my digestive system. The actual survey was conducted via the social network website of Facebook (http://www.facebook.com). Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes, and Mark Zuckerberg (Facebook, Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, n.d) founded Facebook on February 4, 2004. It is the most

used social network in the world, claiming 250 million members (Facebook, Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, n.d). It was originally designed for Harvard University students, but later opened to those with a .edu email address. High school students were later permitted to join Facebook. It is now open to anyone who is 13 years of age or older (Facebook, Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, n.d). The women took the survey in the privacy of their own, shared home. Each woman took the survey independently of the other woman.

Description of the Process: The informed consent document was presented to the two women in person. I explained the document to each of them independently. Both women signed the informed consent document without reservation. The co-investigator was informed by the women via telephone that while one woman was working on the survey, the other one left the room and did not return during the time it took to complete the survey for the first woman. Upon finishing and submitting the survey to the coinvestigator, the first woman turned off the Microsoft Internet Explorer program, found the second woman and told her the first woman was finished. The material on the survey was not discussed during this exchange. The first woman (Ginger) remained out of the room while the second woman (Maryann) completed the survey. Maryann submitted the survey to the co-investigator via Facebook, turned off Microsoft Internet Explorer, and then told Ginger the survey was completed. Discussions after this point were not shared with the co-investigator.

I took the survey, copied the responses to a Microsoft Word document, with the names omitted to preserve anonymity.

Description of the Findings

I was a bit surprised at the findings of the survey. Both Ginger and Maryann found themselves attracted to females during their respective childhoods. Based on the age question, neither Ginger nor Maryann was involved in same-sex relationships until their 20s (OC: I am curious to know the struggles both faced with their sexual orientation during their formative teenage years). Ginger mentioned she did not endure strange looks or comments based on her sexuality. She did mention the difficulties her then-teenage daughter faced with parents of her friends. Some parents did not allow their child(ren) to spend time at Gingers home, because of her sexuality (OC: I did not think of the effect on the children. Further research on the children of lesbian couples may be needed). Ginger and Maryann both had issues with religion (OC: This, not surprisingly, seemed to be the most difficult area both had to come to terms with while coming out). Maryann tried three different religious affiliations before deciding on her current affiliation. Both women were raised in the religious culture that homosexuality is wrong and not normal. (OC: This was expected, as North Carolina is a conservative state located in the traditional Bible belt. Ginger gave up on religion for an undetermined amount of time before finding a church that accepted her lifestyle. Maryann turned to drugs and alcohol for a period, while also attempting suicide.

Neither Ginger nor Maryann has been affected by hate crimes. Maryann was the victim of slurs (OC: the specific slurs were not disclosed to me) and spray paint on her car. Ginger only saw others attacked or verbally harassed (OC: Ginger does not say if the attacks were physical or if they were other types of attacks). Both Ginger and Maryann work in fields where their sexuality is not considered an issue (OC: Ginger does not state her career). Maryann believes her career of choice in the mental health field is an advantage to living in rural Appalachia. She also mentions there are numerous mental health agencies that hire a large number of gays. Ginger feels differently, as she tells about an employer saying dont we have enough of your kind already? when faced with an openly gay applicant. (OC: This comment was said to Ginger about another applicant, not Ginger herself.) Both Ginger and Maryann believe there is more tolerance in todays society than there was in previous years. Maryann mentions towns where she and her partner can do romantic things in public that heterosexual couples do without anyone turning their heads. Both women feel that religious groups are a major factor in lesbian couples being accepted into mainstream society. In Maryanns survey, she points out mainstream media portrays gays as over-the-top (OC: Rupaul, Jack from TVs Will and Grace, and any drag queen comes to mind), while in reality, most gays do not fit this stereotype. Maryann mentions that gays are seen by some religious groups as horrible, child-molesting perverts but gays just wants to be seen as normal. Lesbian couples do everything that straight couples do, such as cook, clean, pay taxes, and raise a family.

Conclusion

Lesbian couples are not much different from heterosexual couples in Appalachia, with only a few exceptions. Conservative religious views exclude lesbians from taking part in some worship services. Religion seemed to be a recurring theme in this survey. The religious views of peoples in Appalachia seems to be the underlying cause that prevents acceptance of homosexuality and those who practice it. The disadvantages of being lesbian also revert back to the conservative Christian views of the peoples of North Carolina. Based on past experiences, these two women have learned to read people and get a good idea of whom they can share their sexuality. It seems that homosexuality is becoming more accepted in some parts of rural North Carolina. I expected more along the lines of career discrimination and hate crimes. I expected some employers and coworkers to harass the women so they would leave their positions. Based on the sensationalism of the media, I was pleasantly surprised the women were not victims of physical violence due to their sexuality. The limitations on this survey are vast. The sample was a convenience sample, as I am friends with both Ginger and Maryann, and have been for a number of years. A random sample would be more effective. A larger sample size would be more reliable than this research. These two women are in a committed relationship with one another, so some of the answers may be similar as they face many of the same challenges. Further research on this topic would include interviewing the adult children of this couple and other lesbian couples to see the challenges they faced during their teen years. I would also like to explore the religious topic further. I am curious as to the interpretations their church has of

the Christian Bible, and how difficult it was to attend religious services that spoke against samesex relationships while the women were struggling with their sexual identities.

Appendix: Survey Results

Ginger: I started to notice both boys and girls around third grade. I developed a crush on a female in sixth grade, and about nineth grade I would catch myself thinking about females and began to think something was wrong with that - it wasn't "normal" for me to be thinking about girls. In 1994, I was kissed by a female for the first time; and in 1996, became involved in my first same sex relationship. Finding myself attracted to both male and females, I began to not limit myself to just one sex when dating. I have been in a same sex relationship for the past six years. I can't think of a specific moment that I have had to endure "strange" looks and I've had rude and inappropriate comments made to me in public while with my same sex partner. Services have never been denied, but I have felt other forms of discriminations. A former employer, when faced with hiring an openly homosexual individual, stated to me "don't we have enough of 'your kind' in this place already". We as a family also had to deal with prejudices my then high school aged daughter faced when parents of her friends refused to allow their children to come to our house due to my sexual orientatioin. There were also issues when my partner and I rented a home together, and the neighbors came over and blatantly stated it wasn't normal for two women to be living together - and actually questioned where the fathers of these children were. Religious views were difficult because being raised baptist, I was always told that this life style was "wrong". As an adult, looking for spiritual guidance became a struggle because churches were either unwelcoming or wanted to cure you of the problem. I gave up on "religion" for a long time - not wanting to believe that a God of mercy and love could really hate me for

being who I was. I discovered a non-denominational, gay affirming church that was not only accepting, but taught a different interpretation that gave me a better understanding and a new hope that it was "o.k." to be the way I was created to be. Employment has never been a real issue. The field I work in now is very open minded. There are still issues and concerns, however, because I limit the amount of information I share with coworkers. You constantly have to think about offending someone and/or possibly being alienated because of your differences. The first question is usually "are you married" or "what's your husband do"- and it gets difficult having to always give explanations. I've never personally been a victim of a hate crime. However, before I came out I saw others attacked and verbally abused because of their orientation. I've known a couple people that suffered through episodes of harrassment due to being gay, but I never experienced that. There is a definite difference now. Society seems to be more accepting of the homosexual lifestyle. Previously you couldn't be as open with your lifestyle. It seems to be less of a "big deal" now. I don't think there's really an advantage, rights are still denied. It is better if only because there seems to be more tolerance and a bigger community is visible. A disandvantage may be that it's still "the south" with religious views constantly stressed so that you feel as if your life is somehow second class ; and the conservative views of the majority make you feel that you are abnormal. I am in the 41-45 category (43).

Maryann:

I think I was always attracted to women. As early as I can remember in my childhood I was drawn to strong, beautiful women. It started out with a Sunday School teacher and then progressed to various people in my childhood. I never understood what it was that made me feel differentuUntil 1992 when I met my first girlfriend. Even then, it took me a while to figure out I was gay.

I really try not to pay attention to being treated differnetly because I have always been so open about it once I figured it out. My philosophy was that if more peole saw that we are just normal in every other sense then eventually it would become more accepted. I have experienced it unfortunelty when my last girlfriend was in the hospital for severe illnesses. At first they would not let me in the emergency rooms and staying in ICU became difficult until I forced the issue and did it anyway. Theres always the typical stares in public if my current partner and I hold hands or kiss. Also, our children have had friends that were not allowed to come to our home because of our lifestyle. I dont think I have ever been denied a specific service due to my lifestyle, but it has been uncomfortable in some situations. If I plan a romantic getaway at a cabin or bed and breakfast I am always upfront and ask if they have a problem with gay couples staying in their facility. Most of the times there is a distinct silence and then an uncomfortable no thats fine afterwards.

Religion was the absolute hardest problem for me. I was raised a Jehovahs Witness as a young child, then a Pentecostal as a teenager, as a young adult it was Southern Baptist, so it goes without saying that I had already been set to the "its wrong, its an abomination" dial. I went

through years of turning away from church, feeling like I was a leper because of my orientation. There are still days that I battle with what the Bible says verses what I believe in my heart. We were programmed at such an early age to hate anything that did not fit the christian norm, so with that being said, I spent many years hating myself. I used alcohol and drugs to alieviate the pain. I even attempted suicide a couple of times. It took a very long time for me to just accept this is who I am good and bad. When the light bulb finally lite up that I was gay, I was going to a church that I was very active with and my best friend was a Sunday School teacher. Now, you would have to understand that she and I were as close as two people could be. She was my sons god mother. I idolized her. She was the first person I chose to come out to because I thought she unconditionally loved me. Big mistake. That was my first significant heartbreak coming out. She told everyone in our church of over a 1000 members, and needless to say, she stopped being my friend. To this day, it hurts thinking about it. I miss her friendship terribly.

Career wise, I have always been open about my orientation, but initially when starting a new job, you spend a while getting know your coworkers and boss. You "feel out" their opinions. The initially coming out to them is scary and you do alienate some people, however, the field I am in is full of gays. I think the mental health field tends to be more accepting to others differences and embraces people.

I have not been a victim of a hate crime that I can remember. I have often been in areas or situations that I feared being in danger, but I have been very fortunate in that regard. I have however, had slurs thrown at me and spray painted on my car. I think my son suffered more than I have. He was subject to being picked on at school because his mom was different which has

left a lot of emotional scars to him. He lost friends because of parents hating me for my orientation.

I do see a change in the public opinion in general, except for government. I think the generation coming up now are more open and accepting of peoples differences. Thanks to people in media, they have paved a road to forcing people to think about their beliefs. You will always have the right winged republicans who will always believe that God hates us, etc. Overall though the tolerance level has changed greatly. In some settings its cool to be gay.

The biggest advantage to being gay in NC is probably the career field being so open. This area has a lot of mental health agencies which employ a large number of gays. Also.there are specific towns that are extremely accepting to the gay lifestyle. You can walk down the street and heads dont turn if your holding hands, your just two people who love each other. The disadvantage is political probably. North Carolina has a lot of people, being in the bible belt, that will always feel our lifestyle is wrong and that we are horrible, child molesting, pereverts. I think NC will be one of the last states to become open to accepting us as normal people who live like they do, cooking, cleaning, raising children, arguing, paying taxes and attempting to make a home and family, just like them. The problem with their views unfortunely not only comes from biblical principals, but also with the media only showing the over the top, push it in your face, homosexuals seen in gay prides and protests. That is not the average gay person.

White, female aged 40.

References

Adam, B. (2003, April). The Defense of Marriage Act and American Exceptionalism: The Gay Marriage Panic in the United States. Journal of the History of Sexuality, 12(2), 259-276. Retrieved July 10, 2009, from Academic Search Premier database. B., M. (2008, March 12). GAY AND LESBIAN PARENTS. Education Week, 27(27), 5-5. Retrieved July 26, 2009, from Academic Search Premier database. Bible Belt, Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. (n.d.) Accessed July 16, 2009 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_belt. Decter, M. (2007). Stop Compromising on Civil Unions.. USA Today Magazine, pp. 52,53. Retrieved July 25, 2009, from Academic Search Premier database. Facebook, Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. (n.d.) Accessed July 16, 2009 from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Facebook. Joslin, C. (2005). The Legal Parentage of Children Born to Same-Sex Couples: Developments in the Law. Family Law Quarterly, 39(3), 683-705. Retrieved July 01, 2009, from Academic Search Premier database. Marks, A. (1998). Efforts to curb gay rights deepen an American divide. Christian Science Monitor, 90(167), 3. Retrieved July 11, 2009, from Academic Search Premier database.