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    Another Mans Master
    Another Mans Master
    Another Mans Master
    Ebook234 pages3 hours

    Another Mans Master

    By Richard Lung

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    About this ebook

    (Not always recorded) Ella usually begins: Hello Richie.
    We often repeat with variations, often not recorded: I love you.
    An aged Ella, with life-threatening pneumonia history, will always feel the cold: It’s very cold. (In Broad Yorkshire:) It’s cawd.
    Ella is a fluent (even witty) talker, despite her dementia. Her memory is sometimes jumbled. But that effect, in these transcripts, is more due to my inefficient note-taking than Ellas (vigorous) colloquial sentences.
    Ellas memory myths; fabrications of what memories she can access, are fairly stable and intelligible supplies of meaning, to her bewildering losses of a sense of time and place, where and when she is. And her son and home, that the unspeakable authorities have kept her away from, could do more to make her whole again.
    All our memories rest on a foundation of habit. The greater the habit, the stronger the foundation. The dementia sufferer has lost the time corrective to memories that are no longer true. And finds it harder to adjust to current realities. Instead of understanding and helping, with home care, officials are taking barbaric advantage of this mental handicap, and degrading it, by forcing helpless ailing elders into institutions.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRichard Lung
    Release dateJan 16, 2021
    ISBN9781005195403
    Another Mans Master
    Author

    Richard Lung

    My later years acknowledge the decisive benefit of the internet and the web in allowing me the possibility of publication, therefore giving the incentive to learn subjects to write about them.While, from my youth, I acknowledge the intellectual debt that I owed a social science degree, while coming to radically disagree, even as a student, with its out-look and aims.Whereas from middle age, I acknowledge how much I owed to the friendship of Dorothy Cowlin, largely the subject of my e-book, Dates and Dorothy. This is the second in a series of five books of my collected verse. Her letters to me, and my comments came out, in: Echoes of a Friend.....Authors have played a big part in my life.Years ago, two women independently asked me: Richard, don't you ever read anything but serious books?But Dorothy was an author who influenced me personally, as well as from the written page. And that makes all the difference.I was the author of the Democracy Science website since 1999. This combined scientific research with democratic reform. It is now mainly used as an archive. Since 2014, I have written e-books.I have only become a book author myself, on retiring age, starting at stopping time!2014, slightly modified 2022.

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      Book preview

      Another Mans Master - Richard Lung

      Table of Contents

      Another Mans Master

      Preface

      2020

      December

      2021

      January

      February

      Comment

      Another Mans Master

      Preface

      (Not always recorded) Ella usually begins: Hello Richie.

      We often repeat with variations, often not recorded: I love you.

      An aged Ella, with life-threatening pneumonia history, will always feel the cold: It’s very cold. (In Broad Yorkshire:) It’s cawd.

      Ella is a fluent (even witty) talker, despite her dementia. Her memory is sometimes jumbled. But that effect, in these transcripts, is more due to my inefficient note-taking than Ellas (vigorous) colloquial sentences.

      Ellas memory myths; fabrications of what memories she can access, are fairly stable and intelligible supplies of meaning, to her bewildering losses of a sense of time and place, where and when she is. And her son and home, that the unspeakable authorities have kept her away from, could do more to make her whole again.

      All our memories rest on a foundation of habit. The greater the habit, the stronger the foundation. The dementia sufferer has lost the time corrective to memories that are no longer true. And finds it harder to adjust to current realities. Instead of understanding and helping, with home care, officials are taking barbaric advantage of this mental handicap, and degrading it, by forcing helpless ailing elders into institutions.

      Author Profile page:

      https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/democracyscience

      2020.

      1 December.

      Table of Contents

      (Of officials:)… They usually don’t go the way we want. They go [for] themselves.…

      I think they’ve got some low wall heating, because what heating there is seems to come round your legs. Be a good lad and you keep yourself warm. It’s very cold weather – back-end weather. You can’t explain it any more than say: it’s very cold.…

      (Aside:) I don’t like tarts, love.

      That’s two cakes I’ve sent back.

      Are you going to get that hot drink? I’ll ring back.

      Yeah, you do that.

      [I couldn’t get back. My call was not answered.]

      2 December.

      Mum is moved to the office, because the cordless phones are on charge. (Mum can’t talk, because people will hear:) Don’t talk so loud.

      (We tell each other how much we love each other:) I love you best of anyone else in the world.

      And I love you more than anyone else in the world.

      I’ll love you till I die. I’ll always love you. All I can do is speak my love of you. I love you.

      That’s enough for me.

      I’m so grateful for you. You’re my best mother.

      All I’ve done is think about you.

      And I’m thinking about you.

      I love you… My son-shine.

      I’ll have to leave off, now, because I don’t want them to hear what I’m saying.

      All right, Mum.

      3 December.

      Hello Richie. It’s cold (laughs). I’ve been up all night, in the living room, sitting in this chair.… It’s not very good, tho. You wonder how you get in such a place. I never planned to come in such a place. You don’t end up, where you are expected to end up. Terrible, these shoes, that stick over. Too tight. [Velcrose shoes have been strapped on, too tight.] Rubbish, but quick. It’s not very good, is it? I know it isn’t, here.…

      [I would free you, Mum, if I could.]

      Don’t go and bust your head, with a lot of things, that’ll never say thank you. I know it’s bloody hopeless; it makes you ill, and makes you worse than what you are. It’ll kill you, and you won’t be able to do owt.

      I try not to over-do it.… I don’t expect anything of you.

      I didn’t say you did. Nobody can make anybody do what they don’t want to do. They can force it, but it won’t be correct.… People are staying upstairs. People are stopping in their rooms. – With invited guests. Whereas, it used to be for anybody.

      (Aside: What’s all that, love? Goodness me! No, I don’t eat all that sort of cream – well, plain’ll be all right. I like the wafers. Thank you, very much, love.)

      I dearn’t know what it’ll be like. [People are all for sweet things, nowadays.] And you are, an’ all.

      [No, I don’t like cream cakes.]

      I think I passed it on to you. You learn a lot from parents, like what you like. It’s happening unknown, really. They’re horrible cream biscuits, so artificial, sweet and sickly. They brought me three, and I don’t want one. They never change, tho. Amen. – What does Amen mean?

      It means the end of the verse.

      Where does the word come from?

      It comes from the ancient Egyptian. It used to be the name of a God.

      I’m not surprised; it sounds like it, sort of Egyptian.…

      Wintry cold nip, Britain’s got, right into July. Terrible climate. When the people go out, it’s even worse. The room goes stone cold, when they go out. There’s about two or four left. All the doors are open, and there’s no fire; miserable hole. I don’t know how they stick it, some of ‘em. They’re old people.

      If that’s how you feel, I want to know how you feel.… They’re so bossy, and centralising, in government.… No, I don’t mean on the news.

      In ordinary life, you mean?… I’m never in much company, at all. If I don’t enjoy it, I’d rather not have it.… It’s no effect whatsoever – for getting anything done.

      It’s all power, with people, now?

      It takes a lot of bringing about does a wish of anyones, nowadays. I never even think about it. I used to, but I don’t wish much, now. Every day, they play foot-ball, outside. I think they play it, all night. They have it, lit up, you see. By! It is very nippy, now. For the time of year. What month is it?

      December.

      Oh, is it? I never look at a calendar. They never talk, now. They don’t sit and chat, like they used to do. They might pass a few words of advice. That’s all.

      By! It is cawd. All I’ve got is a thin blooming blanket, now. There aren't blankets, now. They’re sheets. If you get one, and leave it on a chair, it’s gone when you come back. If you go to t’ toilet, you have to take it with you.

      That’s why, when you’re on your own, you can’t look after things. They pick on people, with no help, and helpless. I’ve known that, for a long time. Aye, it’s hard; it’s better when you’re together for company.

      Me shoes are so tight, it’s cutting your foot off.… What month is it? Do you know?

      December.

      Oh, I thought it was June. You never care what month or day, when you’re on your own.… There’s a few old people, on their own; lost their partner, like me.… It’s cold enough for snow. What date is it?

      3 December.

      Oh, we’ll get snow, then. It’s cold enough, and when it’s cold, early, you usually get it.…

      There’s only about half a dozen. The rest have gone to their bedrooms, now. They make a den out of their bed-rooms.

      What do you think about your bed-room?

      Nothing. It has a stone floor; a stable. I just go to bed and try to sleep. No, it isn’t very great. Never is, when you’re by yourself.

      I shall keep on trying, forever [to get you home].

      Never mind, Dino, I love you. I’ve never had it easy, anyway.…

      It’s making a funny noise.

      It’s me breathing into the phone.

      I thought it might be summot like that.…

      I’m going to t’ toilet…

      [I don’t think about achieving anything. I just feel morally obliged to try to help you.]

      I’m glad I don’t feel morally obliged to do it.

      I’ve no reproaches for you.

      I didn’t say you had. You’re making it up. I never said nowt.

      No.

      Don’t worry about it.…

      (Sings:) I’ve been a-walking Mary Jane…

      (Sneeze!) Oh, God! Somebody’s sneezing their head off. Glad she’s at the other end of the room.…

      (Of singing and things:) You knew every damn thing there was, and then you forget it, because work and stress pushes it behind.… My foot's as tight as anything; terrible shoes.… God bless you, my little one. I love you so much. Sleep well, Dino, and if you ring me, when you feel like it.

      I’ll ring you tomorrow.

      God bless you. By-by, my love.

      4 December.

      … They all go up to their rooms. So, it’s pretty grim, down here, now. It’s just like we have in summer; nothing, all the year round. The odd one of ‘em by themselves.…

      Why? Don’t you love me any more?… I was joking. That’s what we used to say.

      There’s been some snow, in Scotland, I think.

      We shall get some here, I think.… They’ve all gone upstairs. They don’t stop down, and keep us company, now. It’s a lone star spot. Not many people about, maybe 10 or 30. [Ella has lost her number sense.] All gone to bed, now. No point in me going to bed, and staring at the ceiling.…

      You’ve plenty of room and heat. Look after yourself. Save a lot of pain – specially for me. I don’t like Dino to be uncomfortable.…

      I don’t listen to the rubbish (on television). Nothing any good.…

      Me feet are dead. I suppose it’s the cold. In the corner, there’s a radiator; I think it’s on, because it’s not cold. You never know what they’re going to do next.…

      (I need you, Mum.)

      Oh, I need you, too. You’re the only thing I live for. I live for you. That’s the main thing. Only you. I’m always thinking about you. My little Dino. He’s a big Dino, tho. It’s a long time since we were (at the farm) together. Little lad, running all over the place. Worry your guts out, wondering where he’s going next. So, I don’t know how I did. It was a big watch. I thought it was what you expect. But it isn’t. Most places aren’t.…

      It’s cold. I think we’ll get some snow. It won’t be much cop, but I think we’ll get some. [I’ll have to go to the toilet.] There’s about 30 in here; nowt much to do. Lonely loners.

      (Back-ground wailing.)

      (She is crying for her daughter.)

      Oh, you told me all that.

      Don’t get constipated.

      My little Dino. I don’t like parting from him.

      I never will part from you, in my thoughts.

      No, I won’t.

      (More wailing.) How about that? She wants stopping, really. Right in the middle.…

      She’s crying, Mum.

      School-kids… Good God! Fancy wasting your time, doing that. She’s not entertaining, is she? Just a row.…

      There’s a few stragglers, on their own. And she hasn’t got anything to prop her up. People are different, here. – Don’t mix very well. It never gets any better. Always the bloody same, in the area.

      (Singing out:) That’s to go with it! Marvellous, isn’t it? Listen at it. They should bring ‘em up right.

      (I can’t tell you how much I love you.)

      Oh, you’re my life; my reason for living. All I have left is my little lad. No Dad, now. Nobody left. Anyway, you’re my little darling. I love you. My little Dino, my life. Dad’s gone... So, we’ll (leave off for now).…

      5 December.

      They’re talking to nobody, just listening.

      That’s sad.

      It’s very cold, isn’t it? Nippy cold. It’s just like it’s going to snow again. I think it will. What date is it? January? I tell you what: It’ll snow, this year. We haven’t had any, for a long time. It’s always very cold, when it snows. Then, when it snows, it warms up a bit. [Some snow, on high ground, forecast that evening.]

      We’ve got music while you work, here.

      So I hear (screeching).

      They go to bed, early, because when they go upstairs, they have company; the same entertainment as down here. But with us types, we aren't with it.

      I’m sorry for all my failures.

      You can’t be sorry for all your failures. It would take forever.

      [True.]

      That’s for me: I’m a failure. I can’t do owt right, even when I try.…

      I still think we’ll get some snow. I think we’ll get it laying a bit. – January, February. I’ve known it snow in May and June, in cold parts of Britain. Aunty Rhoda used to talk about snow in cold places. Isn’t it cold – bitter cold, in this room? Never have a fire; never can get warm. Terrible, when you can’t have a fire, in Britain. I think I would have emigrated.

      (They’ve kept you here.)

      I don’t know what for, because it does you more harm than good. Just bossing us, that’s all. I keep it to myself. Are you all right, my little son-shine?

      I love you.

      Aye, I know, and I love my little son. I’ve always loved my little son, and I still do.… About a dozen left, in here.… The girl does make a row. Every night, she’s at it. I think she likes to hear her sen.

      I went for a walk in the loft. It’s still cold, but sheltered.

      Well, it’s better. I’d much prefer it, than going out. When I first saw it, I couldn’t believe it was as good as that. It’ll be warm in summer; you can sit in it.

      I can’t sit in it, in winter, but can walk in it.

      It has its benefits, yeah. It’s a good loft; very good. It does what it says it is.…

      Hello, keep your little voice down. That was too loud. They get annoyed. Yeah, keep it down. Or, they’ll end our chance.

      About 10 people left. What time do you go to bed?

      I like to get a good sleep.

      Yeah, everybody does. You’re lucky if you do, here.

      Keep your voice down.

      I get excited, talking to you.

      You needn’t get excited over me. Well, I’m not worth getting excited about. My little sun-ray. Do you remember sun-ray studios?

      They finished business, a long time ago.

      They used to be on the front, you know.

      I never knew it.

      Oh, I remember it. It was right at the end of the row. [I seem to recall Mum telling me they had a corner shop, at the foot of the hill.]

      When you don’t do owt and go out, you don’t know what to talk about.… Isn’t it nippy?

      I’ve got a sleeping bag, round my legs.

      Oh, have you? (Laughs.) You need that. I’ve got mine wrapped around, because it is cold. It’s a cold hole. I don’t know how we stick it, really.…

      By God! They’re making a row.

      It’s been a poor spring.

      Spring was warm.

      What is it now? Summer?

      No, winter.

      Why! It’s bound to be cawd, if it’s winter; can’t be owt else.… There’s about half a dozen people listening to me; see if they can hear owt.

      I’m not loud. It’s the signal that’s loud.

      That’s a nuisance, so it means you have to talk low.

      I want to talk but I’ve nowt to talk about.

      It’s winter, isn’t it?

      It’s going to be winter, for a long time.

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