Building Trusting Relationships: The Complete Guide to Building and Nurturing Trust in Relationships
By Mrs. Ashiya and Mr. Ashiya
5/5
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About this ebook
This is the ultimate guide to building trust and effective communication in all your relationships, from romantic to familial and everything in between.
Do you feel like most of your friendships are surface-level?
Do you frequently fight and get into arguments with family members?
Do you struggle to maintain romantic relationships or have trouble letting people in?
Trust issues are at the root of most relationship problems, whether it's friends, family, coworkers, or significant others.
To truly be close to another person, you have to open yourself up to them, and they have to do the same.
In a world filled with shallow friendships, quick hookups, and reality shows portraying unhealthy attachments, it can be challenging to develop and nurture real connections.
When you're looking for something more meaningful, lasting, you need to build trust.
In this book, you'll learn how to do just that.
You might feel vulnerable at first, and may be afraid to open up. But once you create something real, you will notice fear melting away.
From learning to trust yourself and transfer that trust to others, you'll discover an entirely new world of deep, close relationships like nothing you've ever experienced before.
This book also covers what to do when trust is broken, whether by you or someone else. Rather than thinking of the relationship as irreparable, you'll find out how much stronger a broken relationship can become with a little effort.
You'll also discover:
1.) How trust leads to more meaningful and impactful relationships
2.) Practical scenarios to help you build trust in everyday life
3.) The complementary roles that intimacy and trust play in romantic relationships
4.) How to identify trust issues in yourself and others
5.) Essential boundaries to set to encourage continued trust and avoid being taken advantage of
And so much more!
You don't have to be plagued by shallow friendships, troublesome family relations, and empty romantic endeavors.
The key is trust, and with the help of this book, you'll not only see improved relationships with others, but with yourself.
Read more from Mrs. Ashiya
Empath's Emotional Intelligence Guide: How Sensitive People Can Build Emotional Resilience, Be Mentally Strong and Build Better Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
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Reviews for Building Trusting Relationships
3 ratings1 review
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Have been diving into this author lately, love this relationship series.
Book preview
Building Trusting Relationships - Mrs. Ashiya
Introduction
More than anything else, we all want to be happy. It is our basic drive. Everything we do—even if it’s just working a job that has nothing to do with our interests—is to ensure some happiness for ourselves. That job will, at the very least, gain you some money, with which you could buy concert tickets, new clothes, or a nice meal.
But chances are, you won’t attend those concerts, wear those clothes, or eat that delicious food alone. Unless you’re a hermit of the olden times, content to live in a cave for years and years, the delights of life are shared. What greater happiness is there than having someone with which to dance to good music? Someone to admire your new outfit? Someone to steal fries from?
Much of our happiness and our fulfillment comes from our relationships with others. A fulfilling relationship can make any place feel less lonely: a new city, a new office, even a new apartment. Good emotional bonds with others can introduce you to entirely new interests or foster ones you already have. They can even help you achieve professional success, or support you through your darkest times.
Through our relationships, we understand other people, their worldviews, their interests, their wants and fears. We gain empathy and perspective, and often become richer ourselves for exploring others’ minds and hearts. We become kinder so as to avoid causing pain in those we love. We try new things and go places we have never gone before.
So too, by developing bonds with others, we understand ourselves: how we are the same from others, and also how we are different. We also gain confidence simply by the act of being appreciated by someone else. What our friends love about us is what we learn to recognize in ourselves; the strengths our bosses see in our work affirm our own confidence in our abilities.
In short, relationships are what tie us to the world, and even to ourselves.
And what more do we want from life, and from our relationships, than security? The certainty that we are safe and loved, and will continue to be?
This book is about what happens when relationships fail to provide that security.
We must trust in our bonds with other people. To feel like we can depend on those whom we love. That we can not only share jokes and cheese boards with them, but that we can also tell them our worries, work on a team with them, even marry them, and never fear cruelty, abandonment, or betrayal.
But who among us has never, in our lives, been the subject of a cruel comment or joke? Who among us hasn’t been ghosted by a date, or been purposefully cut loose by a friend? Who among us hasn’t felt our insecurities mocked by someone we love, or been undercut so another could succeed? Or worse?
And who hasn’t done all these things themselves, even if just once in their lives?
Relationships are bonds between two people—and people are fallible. We make mistakes, we act selfishly, and we hurt those we love most. This is an indisputable fact of life, and yet it is one of the most painful facts to face.
Especially when we, ourselves, have made such mistakes and broken others’ trust in us.
It can feel easier, sometimes, to write off relationships that are bruised by wrongdoing. It’s frightening to process our own hurt and to confront the one who hurt us. And it’s terrifying to be confronted, to face our own guilt and shame for hurting another person. To open ourselves to criticism, or to ask someone to do better.
Often it feels impossible to even find the right words to do such a thing. And, if we found the right words, would we ever be brave enough to say them?
In this book, we argue: Yes.
Because we will give you the words. We will give you the tools. We will give you the confidence, and the belief that above all, you deserve to have relationships founded on trust, to feel happy, loved, and secure.
Having learned all this, you will see that bravery really has nothing to do with it.
First, of course, we must define the words ‘relationship’ and ‘trust,’ and analyze what those mean within different contexts. There are many different forms and characteristics that relationships and trust can take, and all of them require specific approaches if you want to strengthen them.
Then, we’ll analyze how we ourselves approach relationships. Using attachment theory, we’ll explore our gut reactions to intimacy and closeness, and how understanding more about how we individually process relationships can strengthen them altogether.
Then we’ll move on to how to recognize signs of discontent, both physically and emotionally, and how to believe your own perceptions and intuitions. In short: if you feel like something is wrong, then something is wrong, and it is valid and necessary to address it.
Chapters 5, 6, and 7 discuss that most terrifying of prospects: betrayal. Someone else’s, and our own. How to cope with feelings of betrayal or conversely feelings of shame and guilt. How to forgive and rebuild, or move on if rebuilding is impossible; and of course how to ask for forgiveness and begin the process of proving ourselves once more.
While the fifth and seventh chapters focus more broadly on betrayal, the sixth chapter will explore the effects of trauma on any relationship and discuss how to begin trusting again and build healthy relationships despite your past.
Everyone is entitled to respect, and because everyone is unique, so should the form that that respect takes. When building a new relationship or strengthening an old one, we must be considerate of how we respect the other person, and feel comfortable asking for the respect that we need as well. In Chapter 8 we’ll delve deep into boundaries: what they are, how they help, and how to follow them.
Chapter 9 covers the only thing more terrifying than betrayal: vulnerability. Why is it important to the success of a relationship? How can you move past the fear of vulnerability, especially after being burned one too many times? We’ll answer all those questions and more, so vulnerability is something you desire and strive for, not something you avoid.
But how do you apply all these lessons to your real, personal relationships? In Chapter 10, we’ll talk about how to approach your loved ones and check in on their feelings as well as your own. Even if there has been no big betrayal, sometimes trust erodes on its own, or it could be maintained in a better way; in this chapter we’ll explore how to start those sometimes awkward, but always valuable conversations.
Last, but definitely not least, we explore our connections to and trust in ourselves. Our relationships with ourselves are the most important in our lives—the deepest and most certainly the longest. Why not go one step further, and make them the best and most dependable relationships we have?
To have truly successful and loving bonds with others, we must first and foremost have a successful and loving bond with ourselves. The lessons in these chapters do not just apply to our family, our friends, our partners; they apply to us, too.
Within these pages, you’ll find all the tools to cultivate fulfilling, worthwhile relationships, not only with others but with yourself. To feel, most of all, that your bonds attest to your own goodness and that of those you love.
Because you are good, you are trustworthy, and you deserve to have people in your life whom you can depend on for anything, and whom you can love without restraint, doubt, or conditions.
Unfortunately, trust issues
are some of the most common obstacles in our relationships today. And it’s totally normal to feel that, after some hurts and betrayals, you can never again completely trust another person. Simply by living and loving, we are vulnerable to pain. All of us have experienced it. All of us even, to some extent, expect it.
But there is a difference between expecting pain and hurt as a normal side effect of life, and expecting the worst of people, or of ourselves, always.
In doing so, we only let ourselves down. Because we always see the world as we want to see it, choosing to see only untrustworthiness, deception, and disillusionment undoubtedly blinds us to all the goodness, honor, and love in the world. Our perceptions do shape our experiences, and so to help ourselves experience good things, we must believe good things are possible.
If nothing else, we must give others the chance to prove themselves. Over and over again, no matter how often we are disappointed. We must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, open the dialogue again, and try, try, try.
This requires work. It requires steadfast belief in your own worth and in the importance of love and trust in your life. It requires the willingness to forgive, the humility to apologize, and the bravery to open your heart again, even if it is bruised. It requires honest