Dating Decoded. A woman's guide to choosing Mr Right
By Sophie Hart
()
About this ebook
Based on real–life stories, this book provides examples of how men behave when they are looking for a relationship or just playing around. After many years of counselling hundreds of women in different dating situations, I have found that men use the same old routines to attract and in some cases manipulate women. Men have clear patterns of behavior that indicate what their real intentions are. And, the messages coming from their behaviour is often different to the message they are trying to convey through words. It is critical every woman learns to expertly read the signs from men's dating behaviour, rather than simply taking their words at face value.
Based on research, I have distilled the dating behavior of men into twelve different types that can be easily identified.
If women observe their date carefully and reference his behavior back to this manual, they will be able to identify and understand the motivation behind his interest in dating. Even if he doesn’t know it himself, women will be able to quickly read him like a book: is he interested in something serious or is he just playing the game? Women will also learn how to effortlessly manage him into or out of her life, as the situation requires, and as she chooses. Dating could not be made any easier!
This manual will show women the types of men that are worthy of her time and have the potential to grow into a loving and dedicated partner. Equally, it exposes those dates with no potential whatsoever that should be quickly tossed back to the dating pool without another thought.
The more women understand about the true intentions of their date, the more they will be able to enjoy dating experiences and have confidence in themselves to make informed decisions. The more women understand their date, the quicker she can free herself from the guys that do not meet her needs and move on to finding someone who is more suitable.
Every woman can expertly play and win the game of dating. This book provides women with the knowledge, strategies and understanding needed to master and win on her own terms. Every woman can win, and you can win too!
Related to Dating Decoded. A woman's guide to choosing Mr Right
Related ebooks
Secret Psychological Seduction Formula: Own His Heart Forever Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHook High Quality Men: 19 Secrets To Charm A Guy Worth Keeping Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5858 Magic Words to Attract Men and Build Lasting Relationships Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLearn A Man Earn A Man: "Get Him ... Keep Him" Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhy Men Don’t Find You Attractive Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Marry Me? How to Make Him pop the Question Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDate by the Dozen: How to Meet & Date the Men You Want Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFor Single People Who Still Understand The Value of Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Win His Love: 1, #1.1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLearn How to Date Online Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEvil Ways to Make A Guy Jealous And Make Him Yours In 1 Week Guaranteed. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBest Advice on Finding Mr. Right: An iVillage Solutions Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDating Basics 101: What Every Guy Should Know but Often Doesn’T Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Guide to Men: Being Encore Reflections of a Bachelor Girl Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Get-Your-Man-to-Marry-You Plan: Buying the Cow in the Age of Free Milk Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat drive men to marry Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Get a Boyfriend and Keep Him - The Bulletproof Strategy Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5How to Marry a Divorced Man Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5When You Are Not a Priority You Are an Option: Dating, Relationships and Marriage Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love, and Live Happily Ever After (Really!) Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5You Can Get Your Love Back Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRelationships 101 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDating Advice from a ManWhore: A Guide to Overcoming Self-Doubt, Relationship Struggles, and Finding Your Authentic Self Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Get Him to Like You when He Has a Crush on Someone Else Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Attract Anyone, Anywhere, In Any Situation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow To Win The Love Game: A User-Friendly Guide to Rekindle Your Love and Help Others Fall in Love with You Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Relationships For You
I'm Glad My Mom Died Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Adult ADHD: How to Succeed as a Hunter in a Farmer's World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Becoming the Narcissist's Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5All About Love: New Visions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You've Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Oh Crap! Potty Training: Everything Modern Parents Need to Know to Do It Once and Do It Right Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Codependence and the Power of Detachment: How to Set Boundaries and Make Your Life Your Own Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/58 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Child Called It: One Child's Courage to Survive Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Dating Decoded. A woman's guide to choosing Mr Right
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Dating Decoded. A woman's guide to choosing Mr Right - Sophie Hart
Dating Decoded
A woman’s guide to finding Mr Right
Disclaimer
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the written permission of the publisher.
Acknowledgement
Thank you to all the women, my friends, who so generously shared their stories for this book. I am truly grateful that you have been so willing to openly discuss your good, your bad and, at times, challenging dating encounters so that other women can benefit from your experience.
This book is dedicated to every woman who is dating. You are the prize. Be strategic, wise, and courageous and you will achieve everything you desire.
This book uses fictional characters and any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
Contents
Introduction
Strategies for Winning The Game
Are you considering Internet Dating?
The Fabulous Mr Right
The Player
The Cheater
The Phone Man
The Married Man
The Cry Baby
The Drunk
The Pleaser
The Motor Mouth
The Dominator
The Cheapskate
The Professional Dater
So, it did not work out? How to recover quickly
Strategies for Winning the Game Summary
Dating Lessons Summary
Introduction
This book empowers women to master practical strategies to win the game of dating. Whether you simply want to play the field or find your soul mate, this book will help you achieve the outcomes you want.
The very first thing I must say is that dating is hard and at times can be disheartening. All types of people are on the dating market with an endless range of opinions and attitudes towards women and dating. Some pleasant and some not so pleasant. If you are finding the challenge hard, please don’t feel you are the only one. This is just life and the dating process.
The dating industry is a multi-billion-dollar industry. The reason this industry continues to thrive is so many people are having trouble finding what they are looking for or are enjoying having a never-ending smorgasbord of new and exciting dates to choose from.
Many people do not realize that dating is in fact a game. When you understand the game, you can get one step ahead of your opponent and consistently win. Like any game, dating involves knowledge and understanding, strategies and techniques. It takes practise to become highly skilled at the game and reach your personal best. A date that does not work out as well as you would have liked, is just a learning experience; on the bright side it means you are one step closer to finding what you want.
Like any game, the more you prepare, the better you get and the more rewarding it can be. This book will help you fast track your understanding of the unwritten rules of the game
and help you decode and understand most situations you find yourself in.
If you follow the advice provided in this book, you will know what to do in every dating situation. It will become easy to figure out whether a guy is interested in you and has relationship potential or whether he is just in the game
for his own dubious ends. You will be able to pick Mr He is so just not right for me
from a mile away. You will be able to assess him quickly and leave him on the shelf and use your valuable time more productively to date Mr I am more what you want
, or even Mr I actually have potential
.
There are so many men and so little time! It is critical that you use your time wisely to avoid frittering away your most productive dating years.
Men are a product of their environment. This means that if they think they can get away with dreadful behaviour and selfishness, this is how they will behave. But if you make it clear you will not tolerate anything inappropriate from them, they will either run a mile and pick on someone they can more easily manipulate, or step–up to be a better man. This book teaches you how to condition men to treat you with the dignity and respect you deserve.
Most women do not realize what a prize they are. We are in high demand! If a guy experiences a relationship break–up, he will not be single for long. Most men cannot live without a woman in their life. After a break–up they will immediately be on the hunt for a new date. And, for some of them as soon as they know a break-up is on the cards, they start looking for their new date. This means that men of all ages, shapes and sizes are out on the prowl intently looking to find a new partner. This is great news for any woman looking for a man. It is just a matter of putting yourself in enough situations to come across these would–be–Romeos looking for love.
Based on real–life stories, this book gives you some examples of how men behave when they are in fact looking for a relationship or just playing around. After many years of counselling hundreds of women in different dating situations, I have found that men use the same old routines to attract women. Men have clear patterns of behaviour that indicate what their real intentions are. Based on this research, I have distilled the dating behaviour of men into twelve different types that can be easily identified.
If you observe your date carefully and reference his behaviour back to this book, you will be able to identify and understand the motivation behind his interest in you. Even if he doesn’t know it himself, you will be able to quickly read him like a book: is he interested in something serious or is he just playing the game? You will also learn how to effortlessly manage him into or out of your life, as the situation requires, and as you choose. Dating could not be made any easier!
This book does not predict whether your date will be a lifelong partner. However, it will show you how to interpret the intentions of your guy. It will show you the types of men that are worthy of your time and have the potential to grow into a loving and dedicated partner. Equally, it exposes those dates with no potential whatsoever that you should be quickly tossed back into the dating pool without another thought. Only time, mutual dedication and a bit of good old–fashioned luck will determine whether you and your date stay together.
The more you understand about the true intentions of your date, the more you will be able to enjoy your dating experiences and have confidence in yourself and make informed decisions about your date. The more you understand your date, the quicker you can free yourself of the guys that do not meet your needs and move on to finding someone who is more suitable for you.
Every woman can expertly play and win the game of dating. This book provides you with all the knowledge, strategies and understanding that you will ever need to master and win on your own terms. Every woman can win, and you can win too!
Strategies for Winning The Game
Before you embark on your dating game, it is critical to develop a strategy, made up of a small number of basic guidelines and tactics. My strategic guidelines will help you quickly flesh out the true personality of your date. This is important because you need to promptly identify the qualities of the man you are dating and decide whether you want to continue to date him.
If you are looking for the Fabulous Mr Right, there is no point wasting time on a guy who does not have the desire or potential to be a long–term partner or be a positive influence on your life. Fortunately, it is easy to cut through the clutter associated with dating. If you follow the basic guidelines when you date, the true
motives of each guy will be as clear as night and day. You will easily be able to assess whether your guy is sincerely interested in you and if the relationship is worth pursuing. Conversely, you will also be able to easily determine if your guy is a waste of time and quickly delete him from your dating list. The most critical issue is: if the tools provided in this book are used correctly, you will be the one making decisions and you will never be left wondering what just happened to me?
At first you may find it hard to stick to these basic strategies. For example, if you like someone you may find yourself wanting to make excuses for him if he does not behave in a respectful way towards you. Your libido can play tricks on you – if you have feelings of lust for someone you may want to start making excuses for his poor behaviour. You may think if you are more available or more open to satisfying his needs that he will like you more. Unfortunately, none of this will ever work. It is an easy trap to fall into and happens all the time, so please do not feel bad if you have approached dating in this way in the past.
It is true that women need to hold men to a higher standard – we must! If we allow them to behave inappropriately, they will continue to do so unimpeded. However, if you teach them early on that you will simply not tolerate any poor behaviour from them; they will be more inclined to adhere to your standards. It is much like training a puppy or toddler: best to train them as early as possible so you do not have deep–seated problems later.
We have all seen how guys behave when in a pack – they get drunk, swear, tell rude jokes, perhaps watch pornography, and then start to get horny. We have all heard pathetic stories of footballers standing around jerking–off in front of each other when things get out of control or even the appalling behaviour of men away on conferences and work trips. It is gross, I know. It is easy to see how men’s conduct can degenerate when unchecked. It is important to train them from the get–go and make it clear that around you they must behave themselves – otherwise they will not have the pleasure of your company.
Core Dating Strategies
Strategy 1 – Plan your date and date your plan. This will require dedication and commitment; it is hard to adhere to your strategy at the best of times, let alone when feelings of romance have started to set in, or you have had one too many drinks. So, before you go on your date you need to think through the questions you would like to ask your date and how much of yourself you would like to reveal. When you are new to this process it is also helpful to jot a few things down on paper and this will help you keep your date on track when you are out with him. Identify it early if there are any little niggling doubts you have about him and whether there are some questions that can help you uncover whatever it is you need to know. This way you can grow your understanding of your guy quickly and make your assessment in the shortest time possible. You will cut to the core of who he is and armed with this information you will be able to make an early decision on his worthiness for you.
Additionally, it is not a good idea to reveal too much of yourself in the early days. Hold a few things back. If your date sincerely likes you, he will gain great pleasure from the discovery process of peeling back the layers of your personality and finding more hidden treasures of your life experiences. If a guy does not find this process interesting, I’d like to suggest throwing him back into the dating pool. If he is not sincerely showing an interest in you, he is both incredibly shallow and inadequate or not sincerely interested in you. If you notice he is not politely trying to delve into what makes you tick, it is a futile exercise to waste any more of your valuable time with him.
Most women who are having trouble dating make the basic mistake of not knowing what behaviour they would like to induce in their date and how they themselves plan to behave to achieve these goals. When a woman gets one step ahead of her date, she starts to see a dramatic turnaround in her dating outcomes.
Dating will always be a matter of sorting through the available pool of guys until your unicorn is found – but there is no point getting puzzled or played along the way. You would never go into a business meeting without being fully prepared or without a clear strategy in place. There is no reason why dating should be any different. You simply must start your discovery process with an end–goal in mind.
Strategy 2 – Never openly pursue your date. Ever since the early caveman days, it has been hardwired into males to be the hunter.
It gives guys great pleasure to feel like they are the one doing the pursuing (hunting) of their date. It makes them feel manly and in control, it satisfies their primordial instincts and helps to boost their ego. As outdated as this may sound, our best strategy is simply to be patient with them and allow them to go through this process of pursuing us, their prey.
Men’s egos are incredibly fragile; if a woman approaches a guy or calls to invite him out, he will be immediately terrified, and his manhood called into question. He will be so scared he just will not know what to do. He may say yes
to the date – but this will be with much reluctance and he will never take it seriously. He will not know how to warm up to you as he will always see you as a potential ball crushing and ego bruising threat. And this scares the bejesus out of him.
Luckily for you, if a guy is attracted to you, he will pursue you, he will hunt you down and he will ask you out. On this issue, there is no point making any excuse for him whatsoever. If he does not invite you out, you could convince yourself that you did not show enough interest on your last date or he is too shy to call or he has simply been too busy – but, none of this is ever true. The simple fact remains: if a guy likes you, he will call you and if he is not calling, he is not interested, so if need be, let it go.
You may think this little hunting analogy means women are completely passive when it comes to dating, but this is a misconception. The key to Strategy 2 is that women cannot openly
pursue the guy – this doesn’t mean that we cannot pull the strings in a subtle way and work to create situations that present perfect opportunities for the guy to step up and ask us out. For example, it’s okay to call your prospect and say you are having a dinner party with friends and ask if he would like to join, or subtly create situations where you run into him or need to ask for advice about a particular expertise he may have. But you must never directly ask him for a one–on–one date and must be difficult for him to see through your subtle advances.
Here is an example of how you could subtly manipulate a situation: My doctor once told about me how she developed a relationship with her now husband. They had been working in the same practice together and she fancied him, but he was not making any moves and did not seem to show any interest in her – he was polite and treated her like any other colleague. So, she skilfully and subtly created situations where they would have to interact and get to know each other. She would leave her stethoscope in his office or ask him for help on an issue one of her patients had. And while the guy was oblivious to her subtle moves, coincidently he eventually found that he fancied her. He then asked her out and the rest is history. My doctor was smart enough to create a situation where the guy could step up and feel like he was in control and making the moves. My doctor made her guy feel that it had been all his idea to pursue her and because of this his ego was boosted in all the right ways. Well played.
Strategy 3 – Do not be too eager to get involved too quickly. It is an enormous turn–on for a man to know he has done the hard work required to win a woman’s heart. Sometimes, the harder he must work, the more pleasure he will gain from eventually being successful and capturing his prey. If your guy feels he has won a treasured prize he will feel good within himself, his ego will be boosted, and he will feel like a strong man full of testosterone and sex appeal. Because he feels so great about himself, he will have far more admiration for you and is more likely to lavish you with respect.
This means that you cannot appear as if you want to get involved