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    The Merry Wives of Windsor
    The Merry Wives of Windsor
    The Merry Wives of Windsor
    Ebook155 pages1 hour

    The Merry Wives of Windsor

    By William Shakespeare

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    "The Merry Wives of Windsor" is a comedy by William Shakespeare first published in 1602, though believed to have been written in or before 1597. The Windsor of the play's title is a reference to the town of Windsor, also the location of Windsor Castle, in Berkshire, England. 

    "The Merry Wives of Windsor" contains two important plotlines. The play's funniest plotline is the conflict between Sir John Falstaff and the two merry wives (Mistress Ford and Mistress Page). The story's other major plotline deals with three suitors (Slender, Doctor Caius and Fenton), all of whom wish to win Anne Page's hand in marriage.

    Of all Shakespeare's comedies, "The Merry Wives of Windsor" is the one that most resembles a modern sitcom. The play focuses on mostly middle-class characters, none of the characters are ever in mortal danger, it is written almost entirely in prose and it employs a great deal of low comedy. Low comedy is the stuff of slapstick, pratfalls, outrageous accents, sight gags and Three Stooges-style physicality. "The Merry Wives of Windsor" has lots of this. In fact, most of the action that drives the plot of this play is based on "Mistress Ford and Mistress Page" concocting various schemes toward the purpose of embarrassing Sir John Falstaff.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherE-BOOKARAMA
    Release dateFeb 20, 2023
    ISBN9791220216715
    Author

    William Shakespeare

    William Shakespeare is the world's greatest ever playwright. Born in 1564, he split his time between Stratford-upon-Avon and London, where he worked as a playwright, poet and actor. In 1582 he married Anne Hathaway. Shakespeare died in 1616 at the age of fifty-two, leaving three children—Susanna, Hamnet and Judith. The rest is silence.

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      Book preview

      The Merry Wives of Windsor - William Shakespeare

      THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR

      William Shakespeare

      ACT 1

      Scene 1

      Windsor. Before PAGE's house.

      Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS

      SHALLOW

      Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-

      chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John

      Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

      SLENDER

      In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and

      'Coram.'

      SHALLOW

      Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum.

      SLENDER

      Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,

      master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any

      bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.'

      SHALLOW

      Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three

      hundred years.

      SLENDER

      All his successors gone before him hath done't; and

      all his ancestors that come after him may: they may

      give the dozen white luces in their coat.

      SHALLOW

      It is an old coat.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;

      it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to

      man, and signifies love.

      SHALLOW

      The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

      SLENDER

      I may quarter, coz.

      SHALLOW

      You may, by marrying.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

      SHALLOW

      Not a whit.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,

      there is but three skirts for yourself, in my

      simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir

      John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto

      you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my

      benevolence to make atonements and compremises

      between you.

      SHALLOW

      The council shall bear it; it is a riot.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no

      fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall

      desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a

      riot; take your vizaments in that.

      SHALLOW

      Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword

      should end it.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:

      and there is also another device in my prain, which

      peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there

      is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas

      Page, which is pretty virginity.

      SLENDER

      Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks

      small like a woman.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as

      you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,

      and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his

      death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!

      --give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years

      old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles

      and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master

      Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

      SLENDER

      Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

      SLENDER

      I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.

      SHALLOW

      Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do

      despise one that is false, or as I despise one that

      is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I

      beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will

      peat the door for Master Page.

      Knocks

      What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

      PAGE

      [Within] Who's there?

      Enter PAGE

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice

      Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that

      peradventures shall tell you another tale, if

      matters grow to your likings.

      PAGE

      I am glad to see your worships well.

      I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

      SHALLOW

      Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it

      your good heart! I wished your venison better; it

      was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I

      thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

      PAGE

      Sir, I thank you.

      SHALLOW

      Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

      PAGE

      I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

      SLENDER

      How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he

      was outrun on Cotsall.

      PAGE

      It could not be judged, sir.

      SLENDER

      You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

      SHALLOW

      That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;

      'tis a good dog.

      PAGE

      A cur, sir.

      SHALLOW

      Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be

      more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John

      Falstaff here?

      PAGE

      Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good

      office between you.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

      SHALLOW

      He hath wronged me, Master Page.

      PAGE

      Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

      SHALLOW

      If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that

      so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he

      hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert

      Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.

      PAGE

      Here comes Sir John.

      Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL

      FALSTAFF

      Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king?

      SHALLOW

      Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and

      broke open my lodge.

      FALSTAFF

      But not kissed your keeper's daughter?

      SHALLOW

      Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

      FALSTAFF

      I will answer it straight; I have done all this.

      That is now answered.

      SHALLOW

      The council shall know this.

      FALSTAFF

      'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:

      you'll be laughed at.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.

      FALSTAFF

      Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your

      head: what matter have you against me?

      SLENDER

      Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;

      and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,

      Nym, and Pistol.

      BARDOLPH

      You Banbury cheese!

      SLENDER

      Ay, it is no matter.

      PISTOL

      How now, Mephostophilus!

      SLENDER

      Ay, it is no matter.

      NYM

      Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour.

      SLENDER

      Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is

      three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that

      is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is

      myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,

      lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

      PAGE

      We three, to hear it and end it between them.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-

      book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with

      as great discreetly as we can.

      FALSTAFF

      Pistol!

      PISTOL

      He hears with ears.

      SIR HUGH EVANS

      The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He

      hears with ear'? why, it is affectations.

      FALSTAFF

      Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

      SLENDER

      Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might

      never come in mine own great chamber again else, of

      seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward

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