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    Confession With Crucifix
    Confession With Crucifix
    Confession With Crucifix
    Ebook100 pages1 hour

    Confession With Crucifix

    By Marianne Lowe

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    About this ebook

    ' “Bless me, Father, for I’m about to sin.”
    “Yes.” A trickle of unease ran down his spine. The old-fashioned booth was updated to block sound from both sides, logically he knew they weren’t alone. But the silence was thick and the isolation uncomfortable at the moment. “You start with the worst sins.”
    “Ahh,” came the breathy laugh. “So I end with the best sins?”
    Caspian allowed an amused twitch at the corner of his mouth on the unseen side of his face. “Standard practice is to begin with the ones you have the most difficulty speaking of. You can cover the mortal sins, and decide for yourself if you must speak on the venial sins as well.”
    “What’s a mortal sin?” '

    ***

    Father Caspian hears a confession he never hoped to; murder. He has yet to realize that Alexander did not come to cleanse his immortal soul.

    Alexander Loft is fixated on the priest and makes no pretense of it.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMarianne Lowe
    Release dateNov 1, 2020
    ISBN9781005965839
    Confession With Crucifix

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      Book preview

      Confession With Crucifix - Marianne Lowe

      Marianne Lowe

      Confession With Crucifix

      A M/M Romantic Thriller

      Copyright © 2020 by Marianne Lowe

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise without written permission from the publisher. It is illegal to copy this book, post it to a website, or distribute it by any other means without permission.

      First edition

      This book was professionally typeset on Reedsy

      Find out more at reedsy.com

      Contents

      1. Chapter 1

      2. Chapter 2

      3. Chapter 3

      4. Chapter 4

      5. Chapter 5

      6. Chapter 6

      7. Chapter 7

      8. Chapter 8

      9. Chapter 9

      Also by Marianne Lowe

      1

      Chapter 1

      Bless me, Father, for I’m about to sin.

      Caspian sat on the padded seat in the confessional, studying at the engravings on the wood door. His fingers ran over the rosary over his other hand, hours of staring at the same point numbing him.

      Perhaps that’s why he missed the oddity of the words. He looked at the clover-cross lattice between the confessor and himself, but all he could see were slats.

      I think you misspoke.

      Did I? The voice on the other side was most definitely male, a bit jagged and mostly amused. This is my first time.

      Caspian didn’t usually get first-timers. He had only been at Archangel St. Raphael’s church for the past two years and, on average, spent three sessions a week in the confession booth.

      He received all the people who were ashamed of admitting the same old sins to the same old person every time visited him when their guilt became too great.

      He didn’t mean to think that quite so bitterly.

      It was a part of sacrament, and that made it part of his duties. I understand. Did you cross yourself beginning?

      Cross myself? I only cross other people as a matter of habit.

      Caspian slanted a glance at the lattice, even knowing he could be seen and could not see past it. The sign of the cross. Have you ever attended Mass before?

      Yes.

      Did you notice that others would touch their forehead, sternum, then the left and right shoulder?

      Yeah. The man sounded close, as if he were pressing his cheek against the barrier. He was not whispering though. I didn’t know. So I should do that first?

      Yes. Use your right hand. Caspian did have to wonder how long this confession would take. If the man had no idea what was going on, it could be a while.

      But isn’t that what he had been asking for in prayer? Someone who has turned to God outside of obedience, for this was definitely a grown man, and was searching for answers.

      I did it. Now I say the part about sinning?

      Yes, but it’s proper to confess sins you have already committed.

      Caspian had come to categorize sinners by two types; sinkers and swimmers. The sinkers were the whisperers, the mumblers with the same harm each time. The swimmers seemed to move on to new mundane things, coveting a pretty person outside their marriage, lying about being sick to their boss.

      It was a large parish for a relatively middling-sized town on the outskirts of the city. It was just as much community as worship that kept the seats filled.

      And as much as he racked his brain, Caspian could not place a face to this man with his husky voice.

      Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Is that better?

      Yes. Normally you would tell me the last time you have confessed, but that will be done next time. But you can tell me what your sin was and how often it has happened. If you can’t remember the exact number, say several or many times over the number of years it happened. But in the future, be exact.

      Caspian couldn’t remember the last time he had to explain the process. The priest of the church he grew up was very strict about how many times. He always said, count your sins . That was his favorite mantra.

      Caspian wasn’t going to hound a new penitent for information he wouldn’t have.

      He hadn’t realized how repetitive this all had become. Not to mention the number of people coming into confession had dwindled significantly from when he attended church as a boy. He wasn’t the only Father that had noticed there were no longer lines outside the booths.

      Do I really have to say Father? I’m not kinky like that. Your name is Caspian, right?

      It is Caspian. If it makes you comfortable… That wasn’t the first thing he’d remember in hindsight, but it wasn’t the last either.

      Should I start from my very first sin? I think I stole bubblegum from the corner store and got my ass beat raw. He chuckled darkly. Then a soft tapping sound on the lattice startled Caspian. Can you see me through here, Cas?

      No. It’s designed to give you reasonable anonymity.

      What happens if someone wants to be seen?

      We have a confessional room with a narrow screen. One can sit behind it if they wish, but there’s more than enough room to sit face-to-face as well. He almost preferred those, because the sinkers never suggested it.

      I can see you now.

      Yes. A trickle of unease ran down his spine. The old-fashioned booth was updated to block sound from both sides, logically he knew they weren’t alone. But the silence was thick and the isolation uncomfortable at the moment. You start with the worst sins.

      Ahh, came the breathy laugh. So I end with the best sins?

      Caspian allowed an amused twitch at the corner of his mouth on the unseen side of his face. Standard practice is to begin with the ones you have the most difficulty speaking of. You can cover the mortal sins, and decide for yourself if you must speak on the venial sins as well.

      What’s a mortal sin?

      This was a subject Caspian was still passionate about, even after sitting and listening to many, many people pour out their vices. Any so bad that it can destroy the grace of your soul if left to fester. Begin with the ten commandments. A man may blaspheme in shock or anger, and that is a venial sin. But if he does so often and willingly, knowing how wrong it is, then that has is damaging his immortal soul.

      That’s deep. Okay, I take the Lord’s name in vain several times a week. Is that a good start? The words rolled so easily off his tongue, as if this was a simple recitation the rules of a game.

      He leaned forward, elbows balanced on his knees. If I may ask, do you feel sorry for doing that? Caspian tried to word it delicately, using his most neutral tone.

      No. And the response was simple. He could have said it the same if Caspian queried about the weather.

      The small space felt stifling. Caspian could only hear himself and the slow breaths of the person next to him. I have a follow up question, he said slowly.

      Is it, why am I here?

      Yes. He did wonder now. The other man didn’t sound unintelligent or defiant, but rather curious and thoughtful. Like this was

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