Change The Trajectory of Your Life

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INTRODUCTION

In the year 2017, I attended a pastors’ conference in Ghana. After the conference, a friend of mine drove me to the airport to board a plane back to Kenya. Coincidentally, the pilot who was flying the plane was a family friend.

I was very excited when the pilot invited me to the cockpit. I chose to take advantage of this rare opportunity to learn how to fly a plane and what guides the pilot in the sky. Before take-off, the scenery was breath-taking with all the lights on the runway. The cockpit had flight instruments on an instrument panel, an array of lights and controls that enable the pilot to fly the plane. There was a lot of communication going on. I had a lot of questions to ask but had to keep quiet lest I issue the wrong command.

The engines were powered up and we taxied off the runway and shortly after we were airborne. Since we were flying at night, the cockpit became less interesting because there was nothing to see except for the clouds we were piercing through at more than 130 knots. This prompted me to ask the pilot how she knew which route to take. She pointed to the plane’s instrument panel that had all the details about the flight’s path. It clearly showed the trajectory the plane would take for us to arrive at our destination. All she needed to do was keep the plane on that trajectory or flight path.

The same is true with life. Life is all about knowing the right trajectory that leads you to where you desire to go. Being on the right trajectory leads you to your desired end while being on a wrong trajectory leads you to an inauspicious end.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines trajectory as the path followed by a projectile flying or an object moving under the action of given forces.  It is the path this object follows after while in the air. Without this path, it would be impossible for the object to arrive at its destination. All of us are on a path going somewhere. Being on the right path is key in making your dreams come true.

Pre-determined Trajectories

In life there are paths we don’t choose for ourselves. They are already predetermined for us such as:

Gender

Gender has mainly been categorised as mainly male and female. However, in the recent years there have been heated discussions on transgenderism and hermaphroditism. The Cambridge English Dictionary defines transgenderism as the condition of someone feeling that they are not the same gender as they had or were said to have at birth. Some even undergo surgery to become a member of the gender they feel they belong to.

Hermaphroditism or the recent term inter-sexualism according to the Free English Dictionary is having anatomical characteristics that are neither typically male nor typically female. This is a medical condition where the sex chromosomes, external genitalia or an internal reproductive system are not considered standard for either male or female.

Transgenderism is an emotional problem rather than a sexual one. The transgender label is about one’s confusion concerning their sexual identity. I personally think it is about being confused about one’s sexual identity because God doesn’t create a person with the genitals of a male and the consciousness, feelings and perspective of a female. I Corinthians 14:33 says that God is not the author of confusion. Therefore, creating someone with an anatomy that is different from their identity appears to go against the very nature of God. Maleness and femaleness are God’s choice determined at conception.

Hermaphroditism is a medical condition which does happen but in rare cases. When it does, it can be treated early by corrective surgery (even though some are against it), counselling and support. The most undeniable fact is that even with ambiguous genitalia the children still know if they are intrinsically male or female. For example, the girl child may grow up to be naturally more athletic or aggressive (tom-boy) than the average woman but she knows she is very much a female. Likewise, the boy-child may not be fascinated by climbing trees, being involved in manly sports like rugby, soccer or hunting. He may not be the rough and tumble type and may be aesthetic and emotionally sensitive. Nevertheless, he will still know that he is very much a male.

There is nothing wrong with one being a slightly more masculine female or a slightly more feminine male. God views them with delight and says everything that He created is good. The fact that some people are born with evidence of mutations in their sex-determining gene, does not change their value in God’s eyes any more than those born with the mutation that causes complications and deformities. He still loves them and delights in them greatly. 

God’s plan for man-kind is heterosexuality with definite boundaries between men and women in anatomy and behaviour. God’s intent for every male is to grow into masculinity and for every female to grow into femininity. One grows into masculinity or femininity depending on early events, words of affirmation and validation of one’s personhood. It is when this doesn’t happen that the culture comes up with labels to make those who feel lost fit in.

Genesis 1:27 says, So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.

If you are a female, embrace your femininity with grace, elegance and class. Accept the challenges and roles of being female and never feel like being a female is a curse. If you are a male, embrace masculinity with machismo, courage and confidence. Accept the challenges and demands that come with it with fortitude, stamina and determination.

Biological Family

The world has seven billion plus people and all are born in different countries and under different circumstances. Some are born with a silver spoon in their mouths while others are born in middle class or poor families. You can never change where you were born and which family to be born into; you don’t choose which family to belong to. You cannot change, exchange or replace your biological parents. Your parents are your earthly starting blocks as far your journey towards your destiny and fulfilment of purpose is concerned. They pass on to you values, ethics, faith, beliefs and even physical characteristics that become necessary ingredients that spur you on in life. You cannot revoke their parenthood over your life regardless of their shortcomings, flaws or weaknesses. They may not be rich, eloquent or educated; you might be wealthier or more successful than they are. Regardless of your great achievements in the marketplace, ministry, career or sports, the fact remains that you draw your lineage from them and nothing can ever change that.

Nobody chooses which kind of siblings they get to have either. In the Bible, there are numerous examples of sibling relationships like that of Abel and Cain, Jacob and Esau, James, John, Judas, Simon and Jesus, just to mention but a few. They didn’t choose to be in their families; it was predetermined for them by God. Some of these families experienced sibling rivalry, strife, disagreements, wickedness and even murder but that was their family. They still had to make things work with what they had.

Some of us belong to families that are dysfunctional, broken and plagued with issues. Your family is not the only one that has issues. Issues have been in families since the inception of the first family in the Garden of Eden. Therefore, love your siblings despite their flaws and weaknesses because they are a part of you; they are your flesh and blood. Some biblical characters like David and Jabez who achieved monumental success came from dysfunctional families. Others like Jesus who was born in a manger, started a movement that took the world by storm. Regardless of their family background, they did not allow it to limit the scope of their purpose on earth. You cannot change the family you belong to but you can use it as a spring board towards making a difference in the world.

Regardless of the pain, frustrations and suffering you went through in your family, God’s favour will always be with you. You might not change where you are coming from but you can still shape where you are going.

Self-induced Trajectories

On the other hand, there are paths that each of us can choose that determine the outcome of our lives. God has given each of us a will that determines the decisions we make. These decisions play a crucial role in determining the trajectory our lives will take. A cigarette packet has a warning that states, ‘Smoking is harmful to your health...’ Yet despite this warning, people still smoke putting their health in danger. Some efforts to sensitize the public on the consequences of smoking, use graphic images to highlight the adverse effects of tobacco use yet people still ingest this deadly smoke to the detriment of their health.

Life is about choices but many times we blame the devil or God for the outcome of our choices. Choices have consequences and the trajectory your life takes depends on the choices or decisions you make. Treading on the wrong trajectory will destroy your life whereas treading on the right trajectory will lead you to your destiny.

The Bible says, There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death. (Proverbs 14:12). This way may appear glamorous, attractive and promising but it will lead you to destruction. It may be popular with your friends who disregard virtues like honesty, integrity and fairness. It might be a quicker way of becoming rich, wealthy and influential by way of trickery, manipulation, involving questionable deals and corrupted vices that promise quick riches but in the end it leads to regrets, hurts, guilt and destruction. We must choose the trajectory our lives take with sobriety.

Proverbs 4:26 says, Ponder the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established. You must pay attention to where your feet tread. You must be careful where you walk because the direction of your feet determines the destination of your life. Many people suffer because they do not ponder the path their feet take and they therefore find themselves on the wrong path that is leading them to destruction.

In life, there are so many paths that one can take and not every path will lead you to the desired destination. The destiny you want to apprehend in your life will be determined by the trajectory you decide to take. Some trajectories will lead you to your destiny while others will derail you from arriving at your destiny.

Many people whine and complain about their destination without realizing that they took a wrong path. They blame others rather than themselves for arriving at a destination they did not sign up for. They blame their friends, siblings, parents, church and bosses and refuse to recognize that they might have contributed to their downfall because of the path they chose. You cannot choose a wrong path and expect to arrive at the right destination. The trajectory you choose plays a major role in determining where your life is headed. You need to change the course of your life when you realize it is not leading you to where you are supposed to go.

Does this mean that when you are on the right track you won’t face any challenges? Absolutely not! You might find that the journey has some turbulence, pitfalls and difficulties but knowing you are on the right path gives you so much comfort. Like the pilot, you know that despite the turbulence you will still arrive at your destination.

All of us have a destiny and a future that we desire and want to apprehend in life. We have a beautiful picturesque view of the life we want to live, family we want to have, the ministry we want to build, the career we want to pursue, the children we want to have, the marriage we want for ourselves etc. All these great things cannot be realized if we don’t choose the right path. Knowing where we want to go isn’t a great challenge for many of us; it is how to get there that poses the greatest challenge.

It is my hope that no matter where you find yourselves in the trajectory of your life, you will find principles in this book that will help you get off the wrong path and unto the right path or help you better navigate yourselves to your desired end.  May you find the right tools to change the trajectory of your life.

CHAPTER ONE

TRANSFORMING THE TONGUE

A story is told of a couple who had two little boys aged eight and ten who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents were at their wits end on what to do about their sons’ behaviour. The mother heard of a clergyman in town who had been successful in disciplining children in the past and so she asked her husband if he thought they should send the boys to speak to the clergyman. The husband agreed and when they approached the clergyman he agreed to speak with the boys but asked to see them individually. The 8 year old went to meet with the clergyman first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, Where is God? The boy did not respond so the clergyman repeated the same question in an even sterner tone, Where is God? Again the boy made no attempt to answer. The clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and asked again, Where is God?  At this, the boy bolted from the room and went directly home. Slamming the door behind him, he rushed and hid in the closet. The brother followed him into the closet and asked him what had happened. The younger boy replied, We are in big trouble this time! God is missing and they think we are responsible.

Like these boys, many of us find ourselves in a lot of trouble simply because of the way we use our tongue. The careless use of our tongue has landed each of us in trouble in one way or another. It is said that God gave us two eyes, two ears and only one tongue. The implication is that perhaps we should look and listen more than we speak. However, the opposite actually happens for we often speak more than we listen and we