How Not to Get Divorced
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About this ebook
Having been a Life Coach and Business Analyst for 35 years I have accumulated a huge store of knowledge about relationshiips. In this book I have used my experience of helping people with their relationships in their life. This includes family, social and business. A relationship can span all of these areas and are interlinked so we have to look at all of them to overcome challenges in your relationship.
This book will transform your relatiionship and give you a happy and settled life. Read and think about my suggestions but most of all you must do something. just reading will not help. You must take what I say and apply it to your situation. Every situation is unique so only you can understand and act. With my experience to guide you then you will succeed.
Ronald Victor Alan Streeter
He spent most of his working life as an educator. Mainly in the IT world but then moving into Project Management, Business Analysis and Management. In 2004 he had his first published book - Grumpy Brother Christmas. Since then he has written a number of books, Blogs and Articles.
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How Not to Get Divorced - Ronald Victor Alan Streeter
Copyright and Dedication.
––––––––
This book is dedicated to my wonderful Asawa, Gloria. God brought us together for a purpose, He gave me her to lead me from the depth of depression to the heights of love I never knew before.
This book must not be reproduced, copied, or transmitted in any form without the authors explicit permission. It is protected by international copyright laws.
Contents
Copyright and Dedication.
Foreword.
Introduction.
Chapter 1. Purpose of Marriage.
Chapter 2. Other Types of Union.
Chapter 3. Documentation.
Chapter 4. Marriage Statistics.
Chapter 5. Dating or Getting to Know Each Other.
Chapter 6. Stages of Marriage.
Chapter 7. Communications.
Chapter 8. Relationship.
Chapter 9. Intimacy.
Chapter 10. Money.
Chapter 11. Bodily Image.
Chapter 12. Unrealistic expectations.
Chapter 13. Causes of Arguments.
Chapter 14. Types of Abuse.
Chapter 15. Divorce.
Chapter 16: Round-Up.
Foreword
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."-Mignon McLaughlin
Introduction.
This book was written because I saw that many marriages are now ending in divorce or separation, see later that about 50% fail within 5 years. My own life is an example of what can be a bad marriage and a good marriage and a wonderful marriage. My first marriage was due to social pressure, back in the 1960s if you had sex and the girl became pregnant then the social view was you should marry her or be labeled a bad person. This is what happened to me with my first sexual partner and despite my serious misgivings, I agreed to marry her. I was fond of her but not in love, I was in love with someone else and had been for 5 years from the age of 13. she had now gone off to University and I joined the Royal Air Force. I met Catherine (not her real name) whilst at RAF Biggin Hill in Kent. I was a photographer and had been selected for Aircrew training, but it had been delayed because of the bad winter which stopped all flying. Without that delay, my life may have been quite different, but this is how life treats you but raising up challenges and obstacles that send you in a different direction.
Anyway, I have always needed female companionship, in fact in my entire life I have only had 3 male friends but at least 100 female friends. I can relate to women but not to men. Somehow my thought patterns are closer to the female mind that a male one. But this did not give me any advantage looking for a girlfriend, in fact, the opposite may women only saw me as a friend and not a lover.
When Catherine arrived on the base somehow or other, I decided to have her as my sexual partner, why? I have no idea but that will be examined later in the book. She was young and a virgin, so was I, so she allowed me to do whatever I wanted. But when we were having sex, NOT making love, I was thinking of the other girl whom I had not allowed to have sex because I believed it should be only for married people. But here I was having sex without being married, I did not try and reconcile the difference in view. Having sex without any protection, I was too embarrassed to go to the chemist and buy some, the inevitable happened.
Once she told me I struggled as to what I should do but my moral and social upbringing in the church gave me no real option. But of course, we could not get married in a church, not allowed, so we got married in the local Registry Office. Without any money, we had a honeymoon in her aunties house for a weekend. The baby came and I adored her, in fact, I probably gave her the love I should have given her mother. Well, another baby arrived 15 months later, and I decided I didn't want any more, so I had a vasectomy, another decision I later regretted.
We were reasonably happy, I did not pretend to love her, but I still took care of her and our children. After about 5 years we stopped having regular sex, then a few years later none. For the next many years, we lived together as separate people. I did my own thing and she and the children did theirs. But strangely I never thought of getting divorced. I did have 2 affairs, but neither was going anywhere as they were both married women. Eventually, we did divorce because I had a heart attack and one reason the doctor gave was the years of living under stress. Because I wanted to be free but couldn't sum up the courage to do, I did try twice but the children stopped me. Anyway, now I decided was time to go so we got a quickie divorce.
My second marriage was years later, and it came about because I was looking for a friend on the church website and had a message from a lady in Canada. Now I had been to Canada and loved it, so I was intrigued. Being a deeply religious person, I felt that God wanted me to go to her and look after her because she was sick and dying. Within a week of our first contact I prayed and decided to go to her, God was speaking to her as well and all her family was amazed.
They had never seen their mother of 67 in love before and wondered who this man was. Well we got married and through God's love we found love and although not very physical we had 5 great years. But she had diabetes and no kidneys so we all knew that her life would not last. The last 18 months she went downhill fast and I must admit I was exhausted looking after her. When she died, I was not as much unhappy as glad her suffering had finished.
Here I was alone and lonely and at the age of 75, I thought that only death awaited me, but God had other plans. I believe that He had given me the mission of looking after my wife until her death and now He wanted to reward me. And what a reward!! I got an email with an invitation to join a Christian singles website, so I did, not out of any hope or expectation. I only signed up for a 7-day free trial and on the second day, I had a message from a lady saying Hi
that was it. I looked at her profile and could see that she was an ideal person, but she was 18 years younger than me. I asked her if she had looked at my age and she replied that my age was perfect. Well, I know that God was with me and within 2 days I