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    Mrs. Tigney’s Romance Guides for the 19th-Century Woman
    Mrs. Tigney’s Romance Guides for the 19th-Century Woman
    Mrs. Tigney’s Romance Guides for the 19th-Century Woman
    Ebook81 pages1 hour

    Mrs. Tigney’s Romance Guides for the 19th-Century Woman

    By Riley Smith

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    About this ebook

    Lonning Parish holds the standard ingredients for a great romance: a youthful woman with strong opinions of marriageable age, a helpful best friend offering few obstacles to the heroine’s plots, and, of course, a young man who draws admiration everywhere he goes but is decidedly fascinated with the heroine.

    Naturally, the story of Miss Katherine Caroll has a bit of a snare. Even in her small parish, there are two handsome men vying for her attention: a virtuous vicar with angelic looks and a smart-mouthed gentleman who is the very picture of devilish handsomeness. As Miss Caroll’s heart is torn between them, we learn the stories of other friends in the parish, like the Widow Tigney and her healing heart, and Mr. Duke and his permanently broken one.

    The lives of Lonning Parish intertwine and teach Miss Caroll lessons, but will she learn them in time to capture a happy ending, or will indecision make the choices for her?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBryant Street Shorts
    Release dateJul 9, 2020
    ISBN9781094411996
    Author

    Riley Smith

    N/A

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    • 3/5
      Not a romantic comedy. Needs to be recategorized. It caught me off guard and in the wrong mood for where the story abruptly turned to.

    Book preview

    Mrs. Tigney’s Romance Guides for the 19th-Century Woman - Riley Smith

    Part 1: The Refined and Elegant Lady’s Guide to Swooning

    It is a peculiarity of humanity that, though we be rational in the main, when faced with opportunities to gain the attention of our beloved, we become utter, debased fools. Furthermore, the adored is normally not worth the cost of the fabric of their cravat. But whether our heroine, Miss Katherine Caroll, was pursuing a worthy object, I will leave to your discretion.

    A simple pastoral scene: two men and two ladies sitting in polite postures on a blanket next to the well-stocked river. Our determined (silly) heroine, Miss Katherine Caroll, directs the entirety of her attention to her man. Our Katherine was not particularly lovely (but please, do not stop reading! Though she be but plain, she is fierce, and will soon win your heart); Miss Caroll’s greatest feature was the expressiveness of her face, and she could have been a great actress were she in any control of it.

    The total cacophony of human experience rushed across her face on any given day. Where most would be sad, she was distress embodied. Where some would be pleased, she was elated. And she would rage dreadfully where others would be simply miffed.

    Seated closest to Miss Caroll, utterly ignored, was her friend Miss Victoriana Duke, who had been named with more pomp than was called for. Her mother, it was said, had always been a dramatic woman, and had performed a most inconsiderate bit of drama by dying when Miss Duke was only two months old. From a young age, Mrs. Caroll all but adopted Miss Duke, and Miss Duke and Miss Caroll had no choice but to fall deeply into a most compassionate and permanent friendship.

    She was distinctive-looking, a dubious honor for a young woman. No firm conclusion on her beauty could be drawn. Half thought she was stunning and should be painted by artists who, at the least, studied in Paris, and half thought that her nose would be a good way to sharpen a knife.

    The two young men who sat with them were residents of the neighborhood, one familiar and one new. The newcomer was Mr. William Tigney, who had moved into the town on the unfortunate event of his uncle’s death. His uncle, the late owner of the largest estate in the parish of Lonning, the charmingly named Rosen, had left behind no issue, only a sickly, elegant widow, and a nephew he had hardly ever spoken to. After respectfully observing the mourning period at his London townhome, Mr. Tigney arrived in Lonning. Being of similar ages, the current Vicar of Lonning, Mr. Jonathan Ellson, had taken it upon himself to guide Mr. Tigney into every fashionable home in the neighborhood.

    Mr. Tigney was one of those young men who looked constantly bored, and with his dark hair, black eyes, and honey-tinted skin, some uncharitable souls had taken to calling him the Rich Spaniard or the Pirate. The girls in town had been aflutter over the newcomer, but it was said that he was already engaged to a girl in London, and he had no interest in giving a ball, so he was generally ignored.

    Section Break

    About Mr. Ellson, the vicar: I believe I will keep my thoughts to myself, and rather present you with a poem (my apologies) written by Miss Caroll.

    Angel —

    For thus I call such sweet sun-licked hair,

    Such glowing-sky eyes,

    Such pale skin, as innocent snow —

    I call thee, Angel, sir, not from a desire to blaspheme,

    But a desire to worship what the Lord sent us

    All things be in thine sweet, open eyes,

    All kindness be in thine soft, gentle lisp,

    All goodness be in thine straight back, and God’s word.

    In short, he was a soft-spoken, thin man with blonde hair, blue eyes, and clear skin, and Miss Caroll was smitten. However, she had several disadvantages working against her:

    She had known him since babyhood, and he still saw her as a baby;

    She had been in love with a long time, and love requires momentum; and

    Being the eldest of eight siblings and counting, she had little to offer financially, and, though Mr. Ellson was above considering such things, one could not help but be aware that he could improve his circumstances by marrying up in the world rather than across the lane.

    Miss Caroll, Miss Duke twittered. I had not noticed the pattern on the neck of your chemisette. What a pretty bird and deer, dancing around! It is lovely, like your throat is a Grecian urn! Is it not lovely? Miss Duke offered pointedly to the men.

    Mr. Ellson had to blink his baby-blue eyes once or twice to jump from thoughts of trout-fishing to embroidery, but in a moment, he leaned closer to Miss Caroll for a better look. Miss Caroll, forgetting how to breathe, feeling his eyes cover her collar, bravely tipped up her chin so as to give him an unobstructed view. She looked everywhere but at him.

    Finally, the world moved. Mr. Ellson spoke, and Miss Caroll let her chin drop down, hiding her neck. He exclaimed, It is a fine design, to be sure.

    Mr. Tigney was still staring at Miss Caroll’s neck. He interjected, It’s a waste, I say. Of fabric, and of your time. You’d have much better spent it reading or darning a sock. Something that might serve a purpose.

    Miss Caroll said quickly, This did serve a purpose. It filled an idle morning when we had no gentlemen to entertain us.

    You live all your time with no purpose other than to wait for men? he grunted. Sounds like a dull and useless life.

    Miss Caroll blushed, a full-scale red mottle on her cheeks. She said, temperately, It can be rather dull, though I do not blame myself. If the men I await furnish uninteresting schemes, they must be to blame, not I.

    I blame the men as well for expecting their women to adorn themselves, instead of improving their minds for the next generation, Mr. Tigney retorted.

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