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    Introspections: What the Hell Is Going On?!
    Introspections: What the Hell Is Going On?!
    Introspections: What the Hell Is Going On?!
    Ebook102 pages1 hour

    Introspections: What the Hell Is Going On?!

    By Gabriel Spataru

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    About this ebook

    A simple and honest analysis of some of the factors that influence most young adults intodays society. Just taking a sneak peek into your own past you will be able to see and understand the factors that influence you in your everyday life and how to have the power to change them. You don’t need to have some sort of special power or training, you don’t need a PhD, you just have to be honest with you.

    Written over the course of a few months during long nights, it is a light read that hopefully will manage to put a smile on your face, but from time to time pause and ask yourself a few honest questions. Written in plain language, it doesn’t waste time bumbling about and gets straight to the point with a few easy to understand examples and scenarios.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherGabriel Spataru
    Release dateApr 21, 2020
    ISBN9780463185643
    Introspections: What the Hell Is Going On?!

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      Book preview

      Introspections - Gabriel Spataru

      Gabriel Spataru

      introspections

      What the hell is Going on??!!

      Table of Contents

      Prologue ………………………………………………

      Origins ………………………………………………..

      Attention …………………………………………….

      Social Media …………………………………………

      Technology …………………………………………..

      Work & Success ……………………………………..

      The Knot …………………………………………….

      Prologue

      Shit! How did this happen? How did you let all you dreams and hopes of building a better and prosperous future slip right by you? Became a master of procrastination and ended up being just a shadow of your former future-self?

      You know when you get to that stage when you say to yourself that everything is shit, that you are trying over and over again to get out of the hell hole you are currently in, but still nothing seems to be working? Not such a nice place to be, is it? Its Groundhog Day playing over and over on an endless loop. God knows how many times I had ideas that seemed brilliant, I started doing them and soon after I just loose focus or interest thinking that the couple of things that I done so far will be enough, but obviously they aren’t. Fuck if I know what is going on keeps repeating itself in my head on a more regular basis that I feel comfortable or manly enough to admit it.

      Time is short, money even shorter. Job not so good, free time even worse. Friends are few and far apart, jackass people everywhere. Jesus Christ! What has the world come to? Social media rules, real life sucks. Everything seems to have a complete opposite these days. The middle ground is nowhere to be found and it seems like we are starring at a bottomless pit.

      Before you say that I have a bleak view of the world around me and maybe that I’m close to being suicidal, stop right there. Still, there are things out there that will make me smile and still keep the faint little light of hope lit, but that doesn’t mean I have lost touch with reality. Yes, there is still love out there. Yes, there are still people that will put a smile on your face even at moments when you expect them the least. Yes, there is still natural beauty what will leave me at awe. Yes, there is still hope!

      I don’t want this to turn into some sort of autobiography or something like that. No. That would be the last thing I want. Plus, who the fuck would want to read something about a guy they never heard of or probably never met. I wouldn’t want that. I am just hoping that this might shed some light into the intricate minds of young adults that may struggle a bit with the avalanche of things that modern day society can trow at us.

      It won’t be science-y, it won’t be spiritual or any of that stuff. I just want to have an honest conversation with you, and if you will allow it, pause from time to time and actually reflect on yourself and see if maybe, just maybe, some of the things written here apply to you and what you can do to change and improve them. Maybe these will be things that you have encountered personally or maybe you know someone that did, end of the day these are factors that anyone can see and observe, and of course have the power to change them.

      Let’s just have a chat. Shall we?

      So take a seat, grab a drink and maybe, just maybe you will find this interesting enough to read it cover to cover and not throw it away.

      Chapter 1

      Origins

      "There’s something there, in the pits of my brain that constantly tries to scratch itself to the surface."

      From Romania to Italy, back to Romania and now the UK. Does that make me a nomad? Does that mean I am that type of person that can’t just find it’s place, or does that just simply mean that I am looking for the next best thing, chasing that elusive dream of making the better life? Getting ahold of that easy money, of that lavish lifestyle? Even now, writing these lines, other thoughts are rushing through my brain at a million miles per hour, each heading in a different direction, each having their own ramifications and they seem to stretch out into the fringes of my mind. Wow! Am I going nuts, or am I just having a really, really weird brain?

      It seems like I’ve always been drawn to making something to express some sort of creativeness that always seems to latch onto me. There’s something there, in the pits of my brain that constantly tries to scratch itself to the surface. I start doing something for a while, then I shit the bed and loose interest. What was it called? ADHD? Probably. I never had myself checked out. It’s just this thing that I can’t seem to shake loose, and I don’t think I really want to. In the end it makes me…well, me.

      The very first memories I have of this, go back to the mid ’90’s. Back in the days when audio tapes were at the hight of their success, when CD’s were something reserved for the rich and famous, when tube TV’s were a thing and stupid haircuts were everywhere. On one of my birthdays, I received as a present a very big, very loud and flashy audio cassette player. I was the man! Now all of my neighbours can listen to the same music that I did, thus my road to making the world a better place has begun. At first I was just listening to the radio or buying cassette records (the very first being a Backstreet Boys album), but then I had the revelation that I can record music directly from the radio. What a mind-opening thing that was. I was buying blank audio cassettes and without me realising it, I was making my own mix tapes and boy was I good at it. The good times were here! Yep, I still have a quite disturbing large smile on my face every time I think of those times. I kept doing it again and again until I reached a moment when I had only mixtapes. I guess, I can think of this as my first touch with doing something creative. It gave me a special rush every time I was doing it. It was better than sweets, better than going out and playing with my friends, it was better than pretty much everything else.

      But then…disaster! Puberty hit hard! All of a sudden my focus switched from doing mixtapes to girls and hanging out with new people. Just as I was working my brain into understanding music and sounds, I dropped it like a hot potato and start chasing after girls and parties. Going out became my main priority, one thing led to another and soon I found myself having an ever increasing circle of friends and people whom I know and creativeness took the back seat. Funny thing is, despite this, most times I still found myself to be the first one to leave a party. Don’t get me wrong. I very much enjoyed all the partying and booze and everything, but I was just having like an Off switch. All was good, but then all of a sudden I was bored and I wanted to leave. I never was the heart of the party. Never was and probably never will be. But I wanted it soo bad. I wanted to be the cool kid that everyone wanted to hang with, that everyone can say they knew. That’s the thing. A part of me wanted all those things so much, but yet there was another part of me that didn’t. I couldn’t make up my mind it seems.

      High school came and my partying days were at their peak. Everyday seemed just like another reason to do some more stupid shit. The good times just kept coming. Turned 18, got my driving licence. Crappy car, loud music and lots of weed smoked with the windows up. Drinking in public places, running from the police. Have to say, those were quite entertaining days, but you probably got that idea.

      As you may have noticed, that creativeness was nowhere to be seen. I was neck deep in all the fun/bad things that almost any teenager does or wants to be doing. I think this is the time when I am supposed to say don’t drink, don’t get into fights and don’t eat too much sugar, or something like that. But you know what, I’m not going to do it. If, by the slimmest of all chances there is a young person reading this, do it. Go out and act a bit wild. As long as no one hurts you or you don’t hurt

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