Lifeboat: Navigating Unexpected Career Change and Disruption

Praise for Lifeboat

"Lifeboat is a joy to read, applying a story we all know to life challenges we will all face. It is an instruction manual on how to become accountable for your own journey that also reminds leaders of their duty to enable a culture that empowers people to become their best selves. Be wary of the Big Ship mentality, whatever size boat you get on! This is a book every up-and-coming executive should read and one every CEO should have already read."

— Eric Elliott, Board Chair of Volantis S.A., Private Equity Operating Executive, and former CEO of Prime Therapeutics

"Maggie Craddock’s Lifeboat Process for tapping into your authentic strengths when facing unexpected change is valuable for us all during turbulent times. She uses the Titanic metaphor beautifully to help us envision challenges we all face through the eyes of others, beat the odds, and thrive in our lives and careers."

— Dr. Doris Day, acclaimed aesthetic dermatologist and author of Beyond Beautiful

"Maggie Craddock is to careers what the Carpathia was to survivors of the Titanic disaster. In Lifeboat, she takes all the wisdom she’s gleaned coaching hundreds of executives and puts it into a great self-help guide to saving one’s professional and personal self. Whether you are just about to jump off the dock to begin your journey or have been afloat for years, Lifeboat offers an excellent process to ensure a successful trip."

— Kenneth Moore, Chief Operating Officer at Jennison Associates

"‘Life’s a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it.’ This classic line from the movie Titanic, delivered by Leonardo DiCaprio as Jack Dawson, is followed by these words: ‘You never know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you. . .to make each day count.’ Lifeboat is a practical manual for making the most of the gift of life, whatever comes your way. Maggie Craddock poses eight critical questions that guide readers to think the unthinkable in order to become unsinkable."

— Michael J. Gelb, author of How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci and The Art of Connection

"After decades of being a chief risk officer at major financial institutions, I was adept at dealing with crisis. But when I faced a personal situation that shook my world, suddenly the tools that had been effective navigating markets didn’t work. I was lucky to have had the opportunity to work one-on-one with Maggie Craddock. Now her practical advice on how to deal with unexpected change is told in a book I couldn’t put down. Using the story of a catastrophe the size of the Titanic, she gives us practical tools to master a transformative mindset in an unforgettable story!"

— Lisa Polsky, Board Member of Deutsche Bank US, the Guardian Life VP, and MFA Financial

"Lifeboat is an important read for anyone trying to make sense of the ever-changing world of work — and their part in it. As usual, Maggie Craddock manages to combine a powerful theoretical framework with a combination of storytelling and practical solutions. The outcome is a book you can’t put down — and advice you can readily put to use."

— Amanda Pullinger, CEO of 100 Women in Finance

Maggie Craddock has a wonderful way of taking the complexities of life and simplifying the message. Life is about relationships, and the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to value, care for, respect, and empower others. ‘Lifeboat values’ means realizing that collaboration and teamwork aren’t just words.

— Brian Hull, Executive Vice Chairman of UBS Americas

"Drawing on the purpose-driven and collective spirit of Titanic survivors, Maggie Craddock has composed a compelling playbook for life and career success — one that helps us navigate the turbulent future unfolding before us and that acknowledges: yes, we are indeed all in this together."

— Keith Green, consultant for Society for Human Resource Management

Also by Maggie Craddock

The Authentic Career: Following the Path of Self-Discovery to Professional Fulfillment (New World Library, 2004)

Power Genes: Understanding Your Power Persona — and How to Wield It at Work (Harvard Business Review Press, 2011)

Copyright © 2020 by Maggie Craddock

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means — electronic, mechanical, or other — without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

The material in this book is intended for education. It is not meant to take the place of diagnosis and treatment by a qualified medical practitioner or therapist. No expressed or implied guarantee of the effects of the use of the recommendations can be given or liability taken.

Text design by Tona Pearce Myers

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication data is available.

First printing, May 2020

ISBN 978-1-60868-684-1

Ebook ISBN 978-1-60868-685-8

Printed in Canada on 100% postconsumer-waste recycled paper

10987654321

To my husband, best friend, and partner, Charles Schneider, whose presence makes the journey of life a source of infinite joy

CONTENTS

Introduction: The Lifeboat Process

The Titanic Story: Big Hype, High Hubris

Lifeboat Question #1: Is This Ship Safe?

Lifeboat Question #2: What Do I Do If I Sense Trouble?

Lifeboat Question #3: When Is It Time to Get in a Lifeboat?

Lifeboat Question #4: What If I Freeze in a Crisis?

Lifeboat Question #5: How Do I Find Inner Strength Under Pressure?

Lifeboat Question #6: Who Can I Trust in a Crisis?

Lifeboat Question #7: How Do We Survive Together?

Lifeboat Question #8: What Will Be My Story?

Acknowledgments

Endnotes

Resources

Index

About the Author

Introduction

THE LIFEBOAT PROCESS

We all like to think we are prepared for the unexpected. When it comes to our professional self-image, most of us strive to be adaptable, collaborative, and resilient. Yet in my work as an executive coach, I’ve listened to many people describe professional situations where they were caught off guard and discovered that their reactions under pressure surprised them.

Whether it’s a thought leader who gets tongue-tied at a critical moment or a manager who loses his or her temper during a staff meeting, many people are bewildered by their own conduct when the stakes are high.

These eye-opening gaps between how people hope they will respond and how they actually react are symptomatic of a breakdown in trust. This may start as a breakdown in trust between organizations and their employees, but it can gradually evolve into a breakdown in trust within individuals themselves.

Here are just a few of the professional challenges people have shared with me and the questions these situations have prompted. Circumstances such as these leave many hardworking people feeling emotionally paralyzed, tempted to make impulsive decisions, and striving to please external authority figures at precisely the moment they should be listening to their authentic inner voice:

•My boss just resigned unexpectedly: Who can I trust to help keep my career on track?

•Power struggles keep erupting at my firm: How do I handle my emotional reactions to dysfunctional behavior and protect my professional reputation?

•Earnings are down and our firm needs to run leaner: How do I convince my top talent to do hands-on work they had previously been delegating?

•Everyone in my department is under constant pressure: How do I find the inner strength to stay patient and present with my family while keeping up at work?

What do you do when unexpected problems arise that threaten to overwhelm you, undermine your ability to trust others, or even compromise your ability to align your personal and professional values? In this book, I offer a method for survival that I call the Lifeboat Process. This process will help you trust yourself under pressure, adapt as necessary, and take effective action to keep your job, life, relationships, and career afloat.

Stories help us unlock personal truths that we can’t access when our minds are focused on routine responsibilities. The Lifeboat Process stems from lessons I have gathered from the Titanic and formalized into a process of exploration, discussion, and awareness. I have used this process to help clients leverage their resources in all kinds of unpredictable and even potentially catastrophic professional environments, whether they are entering the workforce, contemplating a job transition, seeking to become a more effective leader, or navigating a corporate or professional disaster.

This method uses the events of the Titanic’s sinking — and most particularly, how a group of strangers managed to survive together in Lifeboat #6 — to draw profound lessons for navigating the upheaval and difficult challenges in today’s workplace. Using the real-life experiences of these maritime survivors, I have created a practical guide for spotting trouble, managing fear, trusting oneself, fostering cooperative and supportive teams, and taking simple yet effective action in any crisis. By mastering the skills in this book, you will adopt a transformative mindset that can serve you throughout your life.

Whether you are trying to figure out what you genuinely want to do professionally, what kind of culture will compliment your strengths, or even how to be a better parent and partner — this process can help. It will improve how you see yourself, clarify your expectations of others, and help you foster a sense of trust that’s vital to making sound decisions at critical turning points in your life and career.

To thrive in changing times, you will have to reinvent yourself more than once in the course of your career. In fact, job change happens more frequently today than perhaps in any previous generation. And every time you change jobs, your professional agility will be tested, along with your emotional resilience and even physical stamina. The pragmatic demands of the workplace challenge all of us to succeed in ways that reflect our authentic selves.

Thankfully, the story of the Titanic contains vital lessons for anyone who feels stuck in a dead-end job or a professional role that stunts their potential and damages their self-esteem. This is because, when the Titanic sank, everything that had defined these passengers sank with it — and they were left with nothing but their innate capacity to relate to themselves and others if they wanted to survive.

They did survive, and this book shows you how to learn from their experiences and thrive.

The Titanic Story: From Big Ship to Lifeboat

The Titanic was considered unsinkable, and so it came as something of a shock when the ship unexpectedly struck an iceberg and became fatally damaged. The crew was unprepared to abandon ship, and there weren’t enough lifeboats for everyone aboard.

For those Titanic passengers and crew who made it into one of the lifeboats, there were new challenges. They suddenly found themselves in tiny vessels adrift in the treacherous, freezing waters of the Atlantic Ocean. In the span of a few hours, those who were still alive went from enjoying themselves aboard the largest, most extravagant luxury liner in history to facing imminent death if they didn’t overcome their terror and pull together as a group.

Perhaps the most famous and well-known story concerns Lifeboat #6 and how these brave men and women managed to face their deepest fears, overcome a leadership challenge, trust one another when their lives were on the line, and take effective group action until help arrived. For today’s readers, I believe many of the most relevant lessons from this part of the Titanic story involve how some of the individuals on this lifeboat overcame their personal fears and united as a group to beat the odds.

At first, many passengers refused to accept that the Titanic was sinking, and in the lifeboats, some people became overwhelmed by their emotions and unable to do anything. Some couldn’t adapt to the situation and the upending of expected roles and norms. They remained stuck in what I call the Big Ship mindset.

What makes this story so valuable for our careers today is that, on that fateful night, the survivors in that tiny vessel needed to make a fundamental mental shift if the group was going to survive. In essence, the Lifeboat Process guides us through this shift and helps us adopt what I refer to as the Lifeboat mindset. This involves letting go of unquestioned assumptions, acknowledging danger, facing our fears, putting aside our assigned or expected roles, trusting ourselves and others, and working as a group to help save everyone.

The Titanic is a powerful metaphor for people today struggling to put the unexpected changes they face in their lives and careers into perspective. In this book, I have organized lessons we can all glean from these Titanic survivors into a process for helping clients adopt the Lifeboat mindset to explore and solve workplace dilemmas of all kinds.

For instance, in many cases, when unexpected problems threaten a company or a department, the people involved report experiencing a breakdown of norms and trust. In some organizations there is so little trust that people feel terribly isolated, disconnected from colleagues and friends, and distanced from their authentic selves. Unable to make sense of this isolation, some people make adjustments to keep themselves sane. Often, these adjustments involve striving to act like everything is just fine on the outside. However, a complex range of emotions often simmers on the inside, and if people avoid exploring and managing these emotions, the more likely they are to make a difficult situation worse by reacting ineffectively or unpredictably under stress. In a worst-case scenario, if a situation undermines someone’s trust in themselves, this affects all parts of their lives, including their family and personal relationships.

Using denial to stay sane in an insane situation is understandable, if misguided. It’s terrifying to discover that people entrusted to lead and safeguard our professional futures are being deceptive or are steering a company into disaster. Out of a natural desire to protect themselves, people often stop being emotionally honest, which damages their connection with their own truth. Like the captain and crew on the Titanic who refused to heed warnings of icebergs until it was too late, people in today’s workforce can hide from and deny their own warning signs: cutting themselves off from their feelings, refusing to acknowledge problems, and avoiding taking meaningful risks on their own behalf. Often in the name of job security, people can choose to believe what leaders and others tell them is safe rather than trusting their own judgment.

The irony is that, today, there is little to no job security.

We all know this. How could we not? Companies go through sudden waves of downsizing or reorganization with disturbing regularity. Unexpected management shake-ups result in cultural dysfunction. Companies are acquired or merge. Funding for start-ups dries up. Scandals break out. Senior leaders are disgraced and even go to prison. Seemingly solid companies abruptly go out of business, move, or change direction.

People who cultivate the Lifeboat mindset learn to expect the unexpected, no matter how big or safe their company ship seems to be. They remain aware of potential danger and attempt to take action before it strikes. If they can avoid a problem, why wouldn’t they? When they can’t — and they get caught up in a tumult of change — they ready the lifeboats and prepare to survive, whatever that means specifically in their situation. Perhaps they retool their skills so they can get along in their organization as it changes. Or perhaps they jump to a new company or even a different business before it’s too late.

That said, the truth is, at some point everyone will be surprised by unexpected workplace problems. We will be caught unprepared. When this happens, will we panic and deny the problem, then flounder and make things worse? Or will we recognize this situation, pause to handle our emotions and assess what’s happening, then take action to foster the group effort that helps rescue everyone — before the situation becomes fatal to our job or career? Helping you manage the unexpected and survive is what this book is all about.

The Day My Big Ship Hit an Iceberg

I, too, was once a crew member working on a Big Ship. In the 1990s, I was the lead portfolio manager of a flagship fund for a Wall Street investment firm. I sat in a glass-walled office overlooking the trading floor, where I could observe the people on my team who were responsible for executing the positions as we bought and sold securities. I could also observe another team working for a different fund with the firm.

I remember one day in particular, which I now think of as my Titanic day. Things were actually going great. That morning, we chose our positions at our regular trading meeting. The trades were executed smoothly. No errors. No problems. We tracked our positions during the day. International currency markets cooperated, moving roughly in the directions we’d hoped.

High fives all around!

At the end of the day, I trudged the half mile or so back to my apartment. I walked down the hall to my apartment door, shoved the key in the lock, and turned it. At that moment, I realized something was wrong. I was feeling anxious and depressed. In spite of the smile I’d kept plastered on my face all day long