Dreams Diary

Why

For what reason for the tree to grow we need first to plant a seed. For what reason to have the fruit it is necessary to flower. For what reason to bloom we need to water first. For what reason to have leaves it is necessary to be covered with light, it only makes sense, that to dream, and believing, day after day, year after year, we are now, sitting in to the shade to this tree that we sowed so far behind, that we cared for, we trim and we made grow.

Beliving that we could be a tress, flower and bear fruit, give shade and peace it is like dreaming and making sure that one day we will be a forest

To Graça with love.

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February 16, 2005

The world's weight

Sometimes looks like life take some proportions that overwhelm our body and muddles our mind, make us feel like Helcules with all the weight of the world on us, that break our joins and bend us. We feel alone, with no other alternative but endure the enormous weight, and destined to succumb when we lack strength, and the burden of this world crash us against the ground. However, when we are almost bending before such task, a brise transformes this huge and massive ball, into a balloon full of helium that escapes us between our hands. At this moment, we fear loose the sense of life, that weight was supposed to carry until we die, and we try to get back the balloon, we almost feel the desire that crush us again one more time, rises worth of loose the real sense that we were created for. Incongruity of a life time, that is being between two extremes, of which we need to be equally distant in order to keep living in a balance without the measureless weight smashing us, without letting the balloon fly, since that is our world.

February 17, 2005

The magic of a feminine

I have always found myself fascinated by the woman, not only by her physical side, but also by her spirituality. By the fact that the women are the reproductive element of the human specie, combined with the capacity to be highly sensitive, clearly make her the key element of the resides that lives in us. I confess that I have a particular predilection for the curves that draw their profile, not particularly for a sexual nature, or at least not only for it, but because in fact, the linear stucture of their body encloses, softens my mind and enchants my senses. I think I am not the only one feeling this way, attracted for the beauty of the feminine, it is not by chance that are so many pictures of females nudes, made by many painters, from the most anonymous to the most known ones.

The woman, Venus, it is the center of the human race, as a cradle of humanity, from her comes all the beauty and simplicity, represented by a body stripped of clothes, as if it was was saying to us that we should simply adore simplicity, and not worry too much to adorn ourselves, because the true beauty borns with us, and we can be beautiful without artifices, like a womans’s naked body, that it is simultaneously beautiful and simple.

February 18, 2005

Dawn

Under a dark mantle of sotted stars, I watch the night, I imagine everything that is around me, and whole the universe it is in constant change. The silence, and the gentle breeze of the dawn wander over my skin and quiet my soul. In the distance, right on the horizon a line of light wants to break the darkness and force the disappearance of the stars that are illuminating the dark sky. Every second, it is a batller that is happening before my eyes, the light against the darkness, the day wants to take the place of the night, the stars like warriors without command, retread, as if saving themselves for a future battle to be fought later. The day spreads over the sky in a blanket of pink blood that clearly announces the end of the battle  and shows the spoils of a fight in a beautiful way. At the first sunlight, the night is completely lost for the day when king Sun takes his place in the sky, washing with blue the reddish dawn, and another day begins. My skin is now awakened by the sound of the birds and warmed by the rays of the sun, awaked without have never having fallen asleep to a new life.

February 21, 2005

In your world

In your eyes there is a sea where I sail. The calm and salty waters gentle rocks my boat and guide me into the center of your sea. I am suddenly surprised by a strong whirlwind, which wants to swallow me up, its immense strenght makes my boat adorn and I fall into your sea of tears. I’m draffed to a black hole, right in the center of your gaze and I feel myself falling surrounded by a torrent of salt water, I lose my senses... I wake up with the feeling that a huge time has passed. At the edge of a lake, with part of my body still immersed in the water, the first image is of a salmon colored sky, I lean on my arms and rise, I am dizzy. I look everything on my surroundings, my feet are submerged, the lake of placid waters extends to the waterfall that seems to fall from the sky. Around the lake, a small strip of  low grass and undergrowth, it gives way to a gree forest, which gradually thickens. The luminosity of this place is strange, in the sky there is no sun, and the hue is close to a sunset, however the reddish light seems to come  from somewhere in the center of the florest. Along with sift singing of the birds, I can hear an equally soft background music. I sit on a rock at the edge of the lake so I can recover myself and try to understand where am I. I stay there, looking at the lake, with small waves that the fall of that mysterious waterfall causes on the surface.

Without realizing where I am, I decide to explore the place, I try to follow the music, which increases as I go into the forest, I walk towards where it seems to me that the pink light always remains with the same intensity. At first, I have difficulty of walking in the dense tangle of trees and plants, but little by little, and already with the very audible music flutes, and with a much more intense light, it seems that the vegetation is dispersing, until, suddenly, opens before my eyes a huge clearing. In the center, on a small rock, someone it sitting, that’s when I realize that all the light the illuminates that stange place, comes from that person, also the music it is now totally clear, it seems to slow from that mysterious figure the dominates the entire clearing and it seems to be the center of the world.

In fear, I adventure myself to go to the center of the clearing and as I approach, I notice that is a figure of a woman, only covered in a translucent tunic, and devoid of any other clothes, she looks ethereal, an angel, luminous, beautiful, simple, I get more closer.

As I approach, she looks at me and offers me a smile, that gives me confidence to move foward and get very close, just a touch away, at this moment, I look her in the eyes and I see that they are your eyes, I notice the smile and I see that it is your smile, I look at her face and I see that it is your face...sudddenly, I understand it all, I am inside you soul, inside your secret world, managed only by you where the purest and the simplest commands peace and spirit that only you could transmit to me, I reach out to touch you...

...I wake up suddlenly, have I been dreaming or...

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February 22, 2005

Escape

I close my eyes, the night is long, and the tiredness takes over my body. There lying in the dark with my eyes closed, my mind seem to want to free itself from my body, as if it was alson tired of this small prison where ir has lived for many years. I feel nmy self levitating, as if I were provided with wings, I rise in the air and see the abandoned body below on the bed. My sensed now focous on the path that I intend to take, I look in to the dark sky, dotted with small lights and I choose one. At an unimaginable speed I’m ntransported out into space, crossing paths with planets and stars, galaxies and black holes, on a fantastic journey, in a crazy race, in  a tight escapes from a daily life tied by the force of gravity to a land that says me nothing, a life that brings me nothing, a course without destination. I run away, not only due the tiredness, but also by the curiosity, to a distante galaxy, where the worlds are, completely unreals and there are no people, I vaguely seek isolation, crossing the desert of life, as if it were a purge, a therapy. My body follows the beat of the clock with the beating of the heart that irrigates the whole area, lies motionless and quiet, empty and abandoned, while my spirit, in it’s refuge is closed, and rests from another day, which inly offered brief minutes to dream...

February 23, 2005

Gray

There are days that start out so dark that we aren’t even able to see the tip of our own nose, today is one of this days. After having spent part of the night writting an article on the blog, a cascade if porblems falls on my head at the rise of another day. All my plans and inspiration went, littlerally, down the drain. Starting it with a long conversation in which the same thing has be repeat indefinitely, that is, nothing (I have this type of conversation that leads to nowhere), as if it were not enough to waste time, I get to work and my computer ir broken, a incoming call and the cellphone runs out batery, the respective protedts of the caller when I call from the landline... It is rally to losing patience, but particulary losing the inspiration.

With all this history of a stormy wake up, here am I writing, without being able to give an imaginative stamp to this text and particularly ending up transmitting to the readers a negative energy, contrary to that I intend to transmit in the article I write on the blog, but, not everyday will be the same, and hopefully tomorrow will be more positive and things will get more pleasantly for me at the dawn of a new day and I will be able to get where with thoughts full od imagination to be able to transport you to an oasis of tranquility in this gray life that often we all live. See you tomorrow.

February 24, 2005

Empty

On that morning João woked up feeling completely empty. The previous day he had argued with Patrícia and they had come to the decided that the best thing for both of them was to take a break from the relationship. A curious event, since exactly a year ago, Patrícia had abandoned him,because she thought thet their relationship had no future.

On the day before João had really thought that after spending the last few days arguing about the diretion that the relationship should take, there were no emotional conditions to keep on that path, and perhaps taking a break would be advantageous for both of them. However, when he wake up in the middle of the night, he felt that he had lost something, his shest was empty as if without organs. He hands were cold and he kept turning around in the bed, he got up and he went to look at the sky, from a moment to another he felt so alone that it seemed that the world was over and he was the only one left. He knew that this was going to happens to him, but given all the circumstances of his life, he couldn’t ask Patrícia to follow him that way, under pain od subjecting her to things that were not positive for her immediate future, he had made the decision for the love he had for her, althought it seemed, particularly in her eyes that he didi it for the sake if comfort and because he did not truly love her. Love has these things, there are times when we need to give up those we love, even if it is solely and exclusively for this very reason, because we love them, and as such we do not like to see them suffer, much less if thar suffering is inflicted on them by us, for the lifestyke we lead and for nall the things that hold us back and don’t let us completely free.

February 25, 2005

Warrior

Speaking of life’s strugggles, transport me to fantasy worlds, where I transform myself in to a warrior, with unimaginable forces, who fights endlessly against the evil. Like Hercules, I struggle withh all kinds of monsters and Orcs, as I was a hero of any computer game. Tireless, step by step, always with a main gold of keep myself alive, to get to my reward, the peace and tranquility that wevery warior seeks. I wait for my place in the sun, in case I manage to defeat the enemy.

In life, we can think the same way, we are called everyday to the most spectacular battlers, with the most diverse enemier, always aiming the place in the sun, the glory, to save the princess, in a short vision, what the true warrior of the games intends to achieve at the end.

Is life a game? Are we just dolls at stake? If when we play the hero is on our sreen and we only play strategists, when we carry this image to our live and transform ourselves in warriors, whos id the strategist? Who knows, at the end of all the struggles, we may know the answer to these and so many other questions that cross our minds, but thar we so often silence...

February 28, 2005

A men like others...

During another meaningless conversation, whose the final result was only to hurt each other, Patrícia said to João, After all you are a men like the others, the main diference that you know how to make cakes.... At the first glance, this is a banal phrase, however came with several meanings. Patrícia pretend to convince herself that in fact João was just an ordinary men, like all the others, with a good culinary ability, but, deep down she knew that João was much more than that. However, convince herselft of it whould make her life easier, because seeing him as any man, would be easier to replace him in her heart with another.

João was much more than a good pastry chef, in fact, he was many things during his life, locksmith, carpenter, electrician, but never a pastry chef. The ability to make cakes cames due to his mother’s insistence that he could be able to make everything, so that one day later he wouldn’ty be deprived. João was a sensitive man, a kinf of wingless angel show had been send to earth to flood those whoe were passing throygh his life with hapiness. At first glance, he was a serious, cold and calculating guy and also kind of rude, but, as we get to know him, he stripped off that a insensitive warrior’s armor and he would showed us the true fantastic being that lives inside that body. Actually that was what had captivated Patrícia, his softness in his words,the swetness that he would put in the way he loved her, the sensitivity and romanticism that he carried in his soul. However, in order to abandon that angel, as she had so many times called him, Patrícia needed to put back again his armor, and make him a mere mortal, a rude man, like she first met him, her even had feared.