Relationship Communication Advice

RELATIONSHIP COMMUNICATION ADVICE

2 Manuscripts, Ways to Improve Relationship Communication and Relationship Communication Problems Advice for Couples

Ways to Improve Relationship Communications

Ways to Improve Relationship Communication and Relationship Communication Problems Advice

Table of Contents

Introduction..........................................................................................................10

Chapter 1: Understand the True Meaning of Perfect Relationships..12

Set Known Boundaries.......................................................................................12

Use the I Keyword...........................................................................................13

Avoid Interruptions.............................................................................................13

Ask Valid Questions............................................................................................13

Stay in the Moment.............................................................................................14

Resort to Nonverbal Language.........................................................................14

Being Emotional is Not Necessary...................................................................14

The School of Honesty........................................................................................15

Just Hear Them Out............................................................................................15

Chapter 2: How to Communicate About Serious Issues in a Relationship................16

Find a good time.................................................................................................16

Think before you speak......................................................................................16

Deal with important issues early......................................................................16

Keep everything private.....................................................................................17

Explore your spouse’s beliefs, thoughts and feelings...................................17

Prepare to receive a defensive or negative response....................................17

Tailor the message..............................................................................................18

Be honest..............................................................................................................18

Chapter 3: How Better Communication Leads to a Healthier Relationship................19

The Power of Words............................................................................................20

Ways to Encourage Healthy Communication in Your Marriage..................21

Commit to the relationship............................................................................21

Be available......................................................................................................21

Find time to speak with your spouse............................................................22

Make it a rewarding experience for both of you........................................22

Forgive..............................................................................................................22

Make it a habit.................................................................................................22

Chapter 4: Pathways of Effective Communication in Relationships...24

The Non-Confrontational Communication.......................................................24

The Confronting Form of Communication.......................................................24

The Discussion Communication........................................................................25

Resolving Conflict...............................................................................................25

The Volatile Technique.......................................................................................26

The Validating Technique..................................................................................26

The Avoidant Technique.....................................................................................26

Chapter 5: Communication at the Beginning of Budding Relationships................28

Chapter 6: Rules for Effective Communication in a Relationship.......31

The Forgiving Principle......................................................................................31

Be Willing to Accept Corrections......................................................................32

Be Quiet and Listen............................................................................................34

Chapter 7: The Art of Positive Relationship Communication...............36

Change Your Thoughts.......................................................................................36

Don’t Take Your Personal Relationship Too Personally................................37

Employ the Art of Separation............................................................................37

Employ the Art of Mindfulness..........................................................................38

Just Breathe.........................................................................................................39

Take Responsibility for Your Emotions............................................................40

The Complimentary Art......................................................................................40

Things You are Thankful For.............................................................................41

Connect with Positive People............................................................................41

The Selfless Act...................................................................................................41

Helping Your Spouse with Negativity..............................................................42

Chapter 8: Ways to Effectively Become Emotionally Open in Your Relationship................44

Get Rid of Blinders..............................................................................................45

Employ Assertiveness.........................................................................................45

Be the Reliable Partner......................................................................................46

You Might be Wrong...........................................................................................46

Allow for Compromise........................................................................................47

Talk About New Things......................................................................................47

Validate Your Spouse’s Feelings.......................................................................47

Build Trust............................................................................................................48

Strengthen Your Confidence.............................................................................48

Chapter 9: The Art of Intent Listening in a Relationship......................49

Do Not Lose Your Sense of Humor...................................................................49

Communication is Not a Burden.......................................................................49

Do Not Accuse, Shame or Judge.......................................................................50

Really Forgive......................................................................................................50

You Will Make Mistakes.....................................................................................51

Reject the Fear of Being Rejected....................................................................51

Try Not to Say I do Not Know........................................................................51

Chapter 10: Solving Intimacy Problems in a Relationship....................53

Identify Your Love Language............................................................................53

Exclusively Express Your Concerns About a Certain Problem.....................53

Do Not Doubt the Emotions You Have.............................................................54

Show Your Affection Openly..............................................................................55

They Also Need Compassion and Understanding..........................................55

Be Okay When You Have to be on Your Own..................................................56

Find a Uniform Passion......................................................................................57

Chapter 11: Why Communication Matters in a Relationship...............58

Communication creates strong bonds.............................................................58

Communication prevents misunderstandings, confusion, and wrong assumptions...............58

Communication keeps couples emotionally connected.................................59

Communication helps in resolving marital conflicts......................................59

It keeps you and your partner from drifting apart.........................................59

It allows you to be true to who you are...........................................................60

It feels great to be heard...................................................................................60

It deepens your relationship..............................................................................60

It makes conversations around money much easier......................................60

You get a lot of quality time with your partner..............................................60

You are blessed with the joy of rediscovery....................................................61

You build a firm foundation for your marriage...............................................61

Chapter 12: Basic Communication Skills ALL Couples Need to Develop................62

Listening...............................................................................................................62

Understanding Body Language.........................................................................63

Reading Your Partner’s Body Language Correctly........................................63

Facial Expressions..............................................................................................64

Eye Contact.........................................................................................................64

The Arms and the Hands..................................................................................64

The Proximity......................................................................................................65

Fidgeting About..................................................................................................65

Chapter 13: Tips for Positive Communication in a Relationship.........66

Focus on the Issue..............................................................................................66

Listen to Your Partner........................................................................................66

Make Every Attempt to Compromise for the Best Solution..........................66

Understanding a Critical Communication Need and Solutions...................67

A Common Problem and Need..........................................................................67

Demonstrating Respect for Your Partner is Always a Great Way for Improving Marital Relationships...............67

Use Kind Words in Your Conversations...........................................................68

Avoid Solving Difficult Conflicts After 8pm....................................................68

Don’t Force a Meeting........................................................................................68

Seek Professional Help.......................................................................................68

Give Yourself Time to Calm Down....................................................................68

Pick the Right Time to Have the Conversation...............................................69

Always Keep Their Feelings in Mind................................................................69

Be Open................................................................................................................69

Chapter 14: The Five Levels of Communication in a Relationship.....70

Cliché conversation............................................................................................70

Reporting of facts................................................................................................70

Expressing one's own ideas and judgments....................................................70

Expressing one's own feelings or emotions or the gut-level communication...............71

Peak Communication..........................................................................................71

Chapter 15: Barriers to Effective Communication in a Relationship.72

Emotions...............................................................................................................72

Timing...................................................................................................................72

Language..............................................................................................................72

Perception and assumptions..............................................................................73

Listening skills.....................................................................................................73

Environment........................................................................................................73

Religion and beliefs............................................................................................73

Child rearing principles.....................................................................................74

Chapter 16: How to Express Your Own Thoughts and Emotions in a Relationship................75

Get their attention..............................................................................................75

Respect your partner..........................................................................................75

Don’t be repetitive..............................................................................................75

Speak in a way your spouse would understand..............................................76

Speak for yourself only.......................................................................................76

Be positive............................................................................................................76

Listen to and observe his or her responses....................................................76

Don’t try to prove that you’re always right.....................................................77

Chapter 17: Communication Mistakes Made by Couples in a Relationship................78

Expecting Things to Just Work Out..................................................................78

Thinking There is No Way Out..........................................................................79

Communicating Too Much or Not Enough......................................................80

Wanting to be Right............................................................................................80

Making Assumptions...........................................................................................82

Talking Down or Being Passive-Aggressive....................................................82

Not Being Sober..................................................................................................84

Interrupting Your Partner..................................................................................84

Bad Timing...........................................................................................................85

Being Impatient and Unnecessarily Demanding............................................86

Making Comparisons..........................................................................................87

Chapter 18: Sexual Communication in Your Relationship.....................89

Chapter 19: Communication Through Hardships.....................................92

Chapter 20: Conflict Resolution in Relationships....................................95

Maintain a calm, composed, and respectful stance during heated discussions................95

Get to the root of the issue................................................................................96

Pick your battles..................................................................................................96

Identify a middle ground....................................................................................97

Limit yourself to a single hurt...........................................................................97

Check with your partner whether your response led them to believe that you completely understood why they were hurt................98

Don’t build a hurt museum................................................................................99

Don’t hesitate to enlist external help...............................................................99

Don’t get defensive when criticized.................................................................99

Stay away from negativity...............................................................................100

Know when it is time for a timeout................................................................100

Chapter 21: Why Is Emotional Communication Significant in Relationships?................101

Share small insignificant experiences instead of just speaking about it..101

Increase these shared experiences on a daily basis....................................102

Small talk can be big when it comes to boosting relationships.................102

Listen mindfully................................................................................................103

Talk about yourself too....................................................................................103

Conclusion...........................................................................................................104

Introduction........................................................................................................107

Chapter 1: What is Intimacy?........................................................................108

Understanding Yourself...................................................................................109

Chapter 2: Importance of Intimacy in a Healthy Relationship..........111

Demonstrating love..........................................................................................111

Improving a relationship..................................................................................111

Bringing two people closer..............................................................................111

Beating insecurities..........................................................................................112

Builds trust.........................................................................................................112

Security..............................................................................................................112

Survival of a relationship.................................................................................112

Lack of intimacy................................................................................................112

Chapter 3: How to Build Intimacy in a Relationship.............................114

Establishing Relationship Commitment........................................................114

Plan the Perfect Date.......................................................................................115

Exploring Your Partner’s Body.......................................................................116

Maximize Sex Positions....................................................................................117

Create Intimate Moments Whenever Possible.............................................118

Keep on Dating Your Spouse...........................................................................119

Encourage One Another...................................................................................120

Spice Things Up with a Positive Attitude......................................................121

Chapter 4: Intimacy Problems......................................................................123

Lack of Gratifying Sexual Intimacy................................................................123

Lack of Good Communication Skills..............................................................124

Having Bad Manners........................................................................................126

Chapter 5: Solving Intimacy Problems......................................................131

Identify Your Love Language..........................................................................131

Exclusively Express Your Concerns About a Certain Problem..................131

Do Not Doubt the Emotions You Have...........................................................132

Show Your Affection Openly............................................................................133

They Also Need Compassion and Understanding........................................133

Be Okay When You Have to be on Your Own................................................134

Find a Uniform Passion....................................................................................135

Chapter 6: Teamwork Builds Intimate Relationships...........................136

Chapter 7: Practicing Intimacy....................................................................138

Improving emotional intimacy........................................................................138

Improving physical intimacy...........................................................................139

Chapter 8: Plug Out, Stay Tuned to Love..................................................141

Chapter 9: Recapture Excitement Through New Activities.................142

Exercise Together.............................................................................................143

Chapter 10: Taking Another Route for Intimacy....................................144

Book a Room at a Local Bed and Breakfast..................................................144

Have a Picnic.....................................................................................................145

Deal with Hurts.................................................................................................145

Grow in Spiritual Intimacy Together.............................................................146

Play Together....................................................................................................146

Cultivate a Sense of Humor.............................................................................147

Chapter 11: Steps to Building Greater Intimacy....................................148

The Integrity Principle.....................................................................................148

Integrity is the Root and the Pillar for Trust................................................148

Both Partners are Open to Each Other..........................................................148

The Equal Support Principle...........................................................................149

Understanding Your Partner...........................................................................150

Admit Mistakes..................................................................................................150

The Willingness to Change..............................................................................151

Chapter 12: Creating Balance for Perfect Intimacy..............................153

Enrich Life..........................................................................................................153

More Certain and Less Doubtful....................................................................153

Find a Balance Between Peace and Stress...................................................154

Dwell on Your Worth........................................................................................155

Chapter 13: Conversational Intimacy.........................................................157

Have a Fight......................................................................................................157

Discuss the Romance........................................................................................157

Come with Reasons..........................................................................................158

Talk About Self–Improvement.........................................................................159

Invite Them In...................................................................................................159

Chapter 14: The Importance of Showing Affection in a Relationship161

What if My Partner Isn’t Co-operating?........................................................162

Tips to Improve Your Sex Life.........................................................................164

Talk more to your spouse.............................................................................164

Increase the time you spend on foreplay...................................................164

Understand what passion is........................................................................164

Be available....................................................................................................165

Plan..................................................................................................................165

Find fulfillment..............................................................................................165

Try some new positions................................................................................165

Climax at the same time...............................................................................165

Dress for sex..................................................................................................165

Be spontaneous.............................................................................................166

Chapter 15: Reconnecting and Finding Mutual Grounds....................167

Chapter 16: Making Peace with the Past..................................................169

Healing the pain of the past............................................................................169

Moving on from a past relationship...............................................................170

Chapter 17: Different Ways You’re Depriving Yourself of Love.........172

Behaviors that push a partner away..............................................................172

Chapter 18: Creating Intimacy with Your Partner.................................174

Opening the Door to Intimacy.........................................................................174

Transitioning into a Relationship...................................................................175

Chapter 19: Achieving Intimacy Through Communication.................176

Become Assertive..............................................................................................176

Stick to the Subject..........................................................................................177

Learn to Accept Conflict..................................................................................177

Focus on the Way You Resolve Your Differences.........................................178

Consider His or Her Stuff to be Our Stuff.............................................179

Have a Sense of Humor...................................................................................179

Keep Your Playful Side.....................................................................................180

Apologize When You Have Hurt Your Partner..............................................180

Use Active Listening.........................................................................................181

Chapter 20: Sustaining Intimacy.................................................................183

Stay Connected When You’re Apart...............................................................183

Push Your Partner’s Buttons in a Good Way.................................................183

Establish Rituals...............................................................................................185

Chapter 21: Ways to Effectively Become Emotionally Open in Your Relationship................187

Get Rid of Blinders............................................................................................188

Employ Assertiveness.......................................................................................188

Be the Reliable Partner....................................................................................189

You Might Be Wrong........................................................................................189

Allow for Compromise......................................................................................190

Talk About New Things....................................................................................190

Validate Your Spouse’s Feelings....................................................................190

Build Trust.........................................................................................................191

Increase Your Confidence................................................................................191

Chapter 22: Understand the True Meaning of Perfect Relationships192

Set Known Boundaries.....................................................................................192

Use the I Keyword.........................................................................................193

Avoid Interruptions...........................................................................................193

Stay in the Moment..........................................................................................193

Resort to Nonverbal Language.......................................................................194

Being Emotional Is Not Necessary.................................................................194

The School of Honesty.....................................................................................194

Just Hear Them Out..........................................................................................195

Conclusion...........................................................................................................196

Introduction

It is no secret that effective communication in today’s world is at an all-time low. Communication between couples, no matter how long people have been together, is an essential piece to making things work long-term, through the good, the bad, and the ugly that life inevitably throws our way.

Within the chapters of this book, you will discover and perhaps relate to why our society blatantly sucks at communication, a variety of tips and techniques to better understand communication and the importance it holds within your own relationship, how to hone your nonverbal and sexual communication, and much more.

Communication is the foundation of any good relationship. Strong relationship intimacy may not be possible without effective communication between spouses. Even the relationship that is falling apart can be saved when communication is applied effectively. In the history of marriage, the bad habit of lack of communication contributes to 80 percent of the problems faced by couples.

The importance of effective communication cannot be overemphasized. Mistakes that may destroy your relationship can only be avoided when issues are communicated and when both partners understand each other at a reasonable level.

An individual in a committed relationship needs a continuous affirmation that will encourage his or her performance even in the midst of financial struggle. A husband needs to feel appreciated and affirmed for being a good husband and father. He needs to feel that his effort is paying off by actually providing satisfaction and happiness in the family.

The purpose of this book is to guide you through a couple of the most important communication mistakes. It will help you understand how you and your partner engage in these mistakes. It will also shed some light on where these mistakes have their origin and how you can spot them easily. It will also provide easy solutions that will help you nurture a healthier, more trustful and more harmonious relationship through communication.

To avoid tiresome conflicts which could eventually ruin the marriage, the couple needs to allow love to bloom within the home. Both spouses need to let respect for each other flourish within the relationship. Love and respect can be cultivated by being tolerant, by putting forth as much effort as you can possibly give, and most of all, by trusting each other. And to build trust, the married couple has to cultivate honesty and understanding.

True communication within the relationship requires that both the husband and the wife seek to use verbal and nonverbal messages. True communication helps a couple overcome many challenges while maintaining a mutual understanding. The regular exchanging of thoughts and emotions is a good way to start.

By doing such a thing, you won’t only maintain a reasonable intimacy, but you will continue to win your spouse’s heart over and over again. The best thing in a relationship is when your spouse depends on you for both physical and emotional security. And this only becomes possible through effective communication.

Chapter 1: Understand the True Meaning of Perfect Relationships

There is nothing like a perfect marriage. Even the marriages that seem to be perfect have setbacks and the couples have to struggle with one issue or the other. The only difference between a thriving relationship and a relationship on the rocks is the desire or zeal the couples have in taking the relationship to an effective level.

Growth is the most important part of a long-term relationship. Even people with uniform personalities cannot live happily together once growth is absent. And this growth comes as a result of disagreements and misunderstandings being discussed, and letting both parties reach a new level of understanding about the reasons certain things happen in their relationship.

Also, do not expect your partner to fully understand you even when they say they do. You need to make the effort to make yourself clear or you will never be understood. Your expectations in a relationship should be reasonable and realistic.

Do not depend solely on the performance of your partner for your happiness because you will surely be disappointed. What matters is the decision you make, to love and to realize how weak the other person can be, and to still thrive without the need to put blame on the other.

Set Known Boundaries

Boundaries are very important even in relationships. There is no level of closeness that should not require boundaries. Every healthy relationship must have known boundaries to be followed by the people concerned.

It is not about hiding things from your partner, it is more about realizing that you cannot be involved in all the affairs of your spouse. Boundaries also give you the chance to focus on yourself as a person instead of the marriage. As a result, you will be able to improve personally, becoming better for yourself and the relationship in particular.

So, not crossing the boundaries between you and your partner is very important in order to allow them to improve while you also focus on improving yourself even without them.

Use the I Keyword

When discussing emotional issues with your spouse, avoid using the You make me feel phrase and resort to the I feel like in order to avoid raising the level of defensiveness in your discussion. Your emotional discussion can only go smoothly when you don’t accuse each other.

It is of great importance to also advise your partner to try as much as possible to avoid the You make me feel phrase in order to reach a reasonable level of understanding without arguing.

Avoid Interruptions

You should always allow your partner to finish talking before you interrupt them. Interruptions can change the way someone has to present a feeling, and they might end up not telling you exactly what you need to hear in order to take a useful action towards the growth of your relationship.

Active listening can make them open up even more since they are allowed the chance to speak their minds without feeling criticized or challenged. Also, humans automatically trust other humans who seem to listen to them actively, thus opening up becomes definite.

Ask Valid Questions

Still on active listening, asking relevant questions will result in a better understanding of the situation, regardless of whether the details are irritating to your ego or even threatening to your confidence.

Even if you have to pretend to listen, asking relevant questions will help you understand exactly what your partner is feeling, even if he or she lacks the basic ability for self-expression.

Stay in the Moment

Try as much as possible to stay in the moment by eliminating every external thought about friends, sports, groceries, children, work or the stranger you just met. Focus on your partner and what they are saying by using audible responses.

These responses are very important in every conversation in making sure you stay in the moment. The sounds you make will distract any deep thought which may occur impulsively when you are quiet. The fact that you stay awake and alert makes your partner feel better about you, even when they think you don’t listen to them.

Resort to Nonverbal Language

This will also help you to be in the moment. Instead of thinking about what to say or other irrelevancies, look at them deeply; observe where they place their hands, their posture; whether they are comfortable, their eyes; whether they are filled with emotions of anger, passion, affection, desire or deprivation.

Being Emotional is Not Necessary

You don’t need to make important decisions while you