Falling Heart

FALLING HEART

Kaaya Kaavvii

The red string of fate that connects the two soul mates was broken by him, not me, never me.

The fate that was decided by the moon goddess..he tried to change it ,not me.

Why then, was I punished...?

Zairiya grew up believing herself a curse and an outcast to the people she belonged to. She was banished by her pack as she entered this world. Mother Nature took pity on her and granted her only wish, Aeran as her mate, but even that was a cruel joke played on her by the fate. She loved and loved from the very core of her being ,she gave everything for that love, for Aeran, crossing all boundaries to acquire the unattainable love of her mate.

But maybe that was not enough.

Then something disastrous happened and her very soul blackened, turning all that love to hatred so cruel that nothing mattered to her anymore.Finally, she gave in and lost herself forever.

1

Zairi

Near the border of Miyuri Forests.

I can't marry you. He shook his head as if to not even let such a notion enter his head I don't want to marry you. He looked at me then straight in the eyes, stressing his un-want towards me.

I always used to wish those twinkling stars that I'll do anything if only they'll have him look at me once. And now that my wish is coming true, I didn't know, if to thank those stars or curse them.

Without knowing that his words were burning me alive unseen, he continued There's only one girl for me and I already have her. I don't need you or anyone else for that matter. I am sure you are a nice girl or else Granna wouldn't have chosen you for me. He stopped again staring away from me. Yes, I am a nice girl but not enough for you to even look at me.

I tried hard to remain blank faced, not revealing any emotion, afraid he'll too easily sense the volcanic eruption of sorrow scalding me inside. Not even once I looked away from him. Who knows when I'll ever be lucky enough to lay my eyes on him without any restriction again?

Just tell Granna no. Refuse the offer. It isn't for you. It was no request this time. Just an order which was to be fulfilled at every cost. His eyes forced his will on me. He has already decided.

I am not to be a part of his life.

I am not the one he wants.

And just like that he was done dealing with me. His business finished. Not even waiting for my reaction he strode away elegantly, authoritatively, never once looking back. Capturing every living being's attention and leaving one dying. I saw him until I could. Until he was just a blur. Until he disappeared. It was like his presence alone was giving me the strength to stand. I fell to my knees and kept on staring in the far distance in hopes that maybe he'll come back if only to drag me away from his land.

And I kept on gazing in the far forests lost in track of time.

When I came out of my stupor, I realized night had already fallen.

Its already this late.

I got up on my unsteady legs. Too stiff for sitting so long. A buzzing sensation passed in them and I was finally able to stand properly. I looked around to bring back my senses. And the events of the day rushed back with clarity.

Yes, I was called in Their Land. I was supposed to meet him. Oh, how handsome he looked today.! How grateful I was to be graced with his presence, for the first time to ever see him this close, for him to acknowledge my presence.

For ending this farce of my out of place imagination of getting married to him.

I must go home.

Prepare the dinner. Ma must be really hungry. I promised her I'll bake her those cookies she's so fond of. The flour ..do we have it or should I have bought it when I had the chance last time.?

Ma.

My eyes widened in horror.

She must be worrying about me. Its already this late.

I ran with frenzy holding my skirt up to my knees. Oh, holy mother how can I just forget about her.

That's why they have a right to throw those rocks at you. I berated myself.

I saw the lights turned on in the living room.

I hurried and reached the door. Before even knocking, the door was flung open and Ma engulfed me in a big hug.

Zairiya. Where were you...? You are all right aren't you...? Her familiar essence washed over me and I calmed down. Her warmth instantly warming my cold heart.

Ma..I am sorry..I lost track of time.. She let go of me and framed my face with her fair hands .

You are really alright..?

Yes Ma. I am perfectly fine. I replied weakly.

I stared at those familiar hazel eyes , straight nose and full cherry red lips .She kissed my head and ushered me inside, closing and locking the door behind her.

Zairi why were you in their territory..?

I spun around fast and stared at my Ma whose concern was etched on her forehead in form of those wrinkles.

She always knew everything.

I smiled despite myself and hugged her again.I stayed quiet and let her hold me.

What's wrong ,my child..?

He doesn't want to marry me

No question , no sympathy just her love which poured over me in waves. That's my Ma.

We stood like that for some time. Ma finally decided to stop this charade. Just like that, the topic was changed.

Okay since you weren't here, I took it upon myself to cook something delicious for the both of us.

She sure knew how to take my mind off things.I pulled away and stared wide eyed at her in horror.Ma didn't knew how to cook even though she claimed to love cooking. So she experimented with things at home.

Making me taste burned , salty , horrendous tasting food every time she succeeded in cooking the food ,without blasting the kitchen ,that is.

You are kidding right.? I asked but seeing her twinkled eyes I already knew the answer.

Nope my child. She smiled revealing her dimpled cheeks.

You used magic didn't you..? I tried keeping nervousness out of my face.

Who do you think I am Zairiya Deno Slavisna..?Me the great mage and witch of the North, A reputed and highly in demand sorceress would resort to magic to cook food for my own precious, sweet, beautiful baby . She said in mock outrage.

I shook my head and prepared myself.

Ma I am already full.I'll pass the dinner tonight. I pleaded again but as it always is ,Ma grabbed my hand and we headed to the dining table which was full of various dishes.

Oh Holy mother no..Please..

Sit here Zairi..Let me pour you this curry I made today.You know it has those soothing herbs in it.You'll relax instantly, child.And this one here will make you happy in a few dimes..And that rice with red sauce will help you sleep with sweet dreams.I searched that one myself without any help from Sekra.

I smiled at her enthusiasm and let her feed me everything she wanted.

What can I say.

I love my Ma.She's the only person in this world for me,my world.

Another few hours followed with eating and vomiting. Although Ma repeatedly asked for forgiveness.I wasn't easy this time.Let that give her a lesson to never cook again and making me eat it.Although I ate it willingly but that's because she's my Ma.Of course I'll eat it .

Its high time she accepted that SHE CAN'T COOK.I shut her out of my room after asking Sekra for some herbal potion to let me sleep peacefully.

It was time to finally shut my eyes .Just before that a departing figure flashed before my eyes.

It was then the realization finally dawned.

He can't ever be mine even although he has already made me his.

2

Zairi

A month later..

Do you Zairiya Deno Slavisna take Aeran Rijvant Kranis as your husband before the eyes of The Great Lord.?

The priest asked in the same monotonous tone.It was not strange for him to see two people getting married.It was a part of his daily routine.

Ma had refused to come.She didn't want to witness the event which'll give me nothing but pain and ruin my life.When I insisted and pleaded with her ,she said it clearly.

I won't let this marriage happen before my eyes Zairi. If you have already decided to marry him then go ahead but don't invite me. I won't just stand there and let you destroy yourself.I'll destroy the whole church to stop you.I respect your wishes.I trust you Zairi. But I can't tolerate seeing you hurting like that.So don't make me go there.

I had understood then.Ma was one of the powerful sorceress of the world.If she wanted she could have used any of her spells to change my mind or those of the people around.She could have threatened them with their lives.

But Ma wasn't that kind of a person.She could never hurt someone willingly and she respected the wishes of Mother Nature.

She always told me that everything that happens has a reason behind it.A bigger picture which is not visible by human eyes.Whether we want something to happen or not, whether we like it or not ,

what has to be will be.

No one can change it and no one is allowed to interfere , such are the rules of the Nature.We have to respect them.She respected them but it wasn't necessary that she had to like them as well.That's why she couldn't come because she would have waged a war against Mother Nature itself just to stop me.She didn't knew why this was necessary. No one knew.Even though she had protested against this decision of mine she gave in when she saw I won't budge. I was already decided.

Indifferent to the inner turmoil that were raging inside me nor the hostility and anger from the people present in the Church to bless us, the priest continued.He didn't knew that I'll only be receiving curses today.He didn't knew that I was not the happy bride that was to start a new life with her husband.He didn't knew that this wedding held nothing harmonious about it.He didn't knew the one person who my world depended on wasn't here with me.He didn't knew that the person I will be pledging my whole life to, hated me to death.

He didn't know anything.

Do you Zariiya Deno Slavisna take Aeran Rijvant Kranis as your husband before the eyes of the Great Lord and the people present here ? He repeated a little louder.

He didn't know I'll be ending any chance of happiness I could get by uttering the next two words, destroying wishes of not two but many people.

Ma always says that if you are not willing to help someone then you are not allowed to hurt someone as well.So what should I do now Ma , I have to hurt all of them to help this one person on my side.

I closed my eyes tightly.I always knew the answer, it was always there.

I'll go through Hell and back if it meant his happiness.

Opening my eyes, I levelled my gaze to the priest and said the words that'll doom me. I do.

I heard the gasps of several behind me.

The priest raised his brows at the strange reaction of the well-wishers and turned to my groom, to my Aeran.. no, no .. he'll never be mine now.

Do you Aeran Rijvant Kranis take Zairiya Deno Slavisna as your wife before the eyes of the Great Lord and the people present here?

I screamed silently inside my head for some miracle to happen, for someone to stop this.To stop him from uttering his next words which'll seal his hate for me forever.Please.. don't say it..Please... don't.

I do He said clearly.

The pain that assaulted me that moment was so huge , so dark , so overwhelming I was surprised I didn't faint.The single tear from my eye dropped down tinting the crystal white floor with a small red drop.

I wasn't surprised to see the red tear.

I never cried. I was not allowed to. Ma always forbade me to cry .

I remember, I had once got injured badly.My whole knee was scraped and blood was oozing out.I knew Ma will heal it with one of her spells quickly but the pain was too much to withhold inside for even another second .I was about to cry when Ma chanted a spell and made me sleep.I never knew why she did that. Wasn't crying an outlet for all the pain you feel. Didn't she want to lessen my pain ..? I remember getting up with my knee all fine. Happily, I had bounced up and down and reached my Ma who was sitting on a chair near the window gazing at the rising sun with swollen eyes and tears down her cheek.

She was crying.When I asked the reason she cried more and mumbled I am crying for the hurt you got my child .Promise me you won't allow yourself to shed even a single tear however much hurt you are. Just come to me and I'll shed those tears in your stead. Promise me.

Hugging her tightly I swore there and then that I won't cry.

If the tears shed by me would flow out my mother's eyes. Then I won't allow myself to cry ever. She explained to me as I grew up, that fate will bring a change if a single tear of my eye falls on Mother Earth and she was not sure it will be for good.

I continued staring at the red drop.

I am sorry Ma.I broke my promise but the pain this time was too much to handle.It freed itself from the tight shield I held over myself.

You may kiss the bride now.I congratulate you both.May you have a happy and prosperous life ahead of you.

The priest hadn't even finished talking when Aeran turned and walked out of the Church dismissing me and this marriage. All the other people , Aeran's family including his Pack members marched out right at his foothill several sneering at me and others with anger.I stood there taking in all their hate , never once leaving their gaze. Only one woman stood there alone.She came towards me with slow gait.I recognized her.It was Aeran's mother.

She stopped right in front of me and searched my face.

Suddenly my eyes weren't on her face but on the flowers on the side .The hot pain on my cheek blazed over. With that she too walked out.

I stood immobile .Never once had I thought I'll get slapped on my wedding day.

I turned back to see the blood drop still on the ground.

I don't know why I was not surprised or afraid. Before today I would have run to my Ma asking her about why I had a blood tear instead of regular water one? Is that why I wasn't allowed to cry? If I cry more , would more blood come out of my eyes..? Am I infected with something..?

Standing in the empty church, staring at the blood, I searched inside why it didn't matter anymore.

WHY..??

3

Rivean

Somewhere in Vahtangon..

Rivean was sitting peacefully going through his next potions when a sudden earthquake bolted up all his carefully kept books and bottles filled with concoctions.

Eyes blazing with fury at the disrespect of disturbing a High Sage, he rushed out keeping his hand on the sheath of his dagger.

The Palace walls of Vahtangon fort were built with heavy steel concealed with magic and all members strictly guarded the palace and encompassing mountainous region. The heavily guarded thick forest trees and the canopy of the leaves hid most of the region with little to no amounts of sunlight lighting the dark region. The whole area was surrounded by mountains and through the chasm in one of the mountains ran the Triveti River separating the palace and the forest. the palace was isolated, not to be seen by the human eyes.

Rivean's room was on the top floor of the west wing of the palace.The purest and quietest compared to the other areas. This side of the palace was reserved for just him and Niveana , his twin sister. Only these two were allowed to pass the heavy stone doors kept locked at all times.In fact the whole wing was shut and no means of any intruder could cross the halls ,having enough energy to burn a mere mortal.

It was imperative that nothing should ever happen to the underground room where He was kept, or else blood would be everywhere. That is why only the twins were allowed, being the closest to Him. Because they knew if something happened and He woke up, the peace that was maintained for so long would be lost and a dark age will rise and annihilate the entire existence of every living being.

It’s been so long since anyone talked about it or even thought about it.But the walls chanted the story for anyone to hear ,about Him who lost his will to live waiting forever for the one that was everything.

Shaking his head of the past memories Rivean searched for the cause of disturbance stopping abruptly on the stairs leading to the basement and turned to his right, seeing a shadow near the window.It was already too dark outside and nothing was clear. Drawing out his dagger with studded rubies, emphasizing its magical properties to cut through anything and paralyzing the victim, he drew nearer to the offender.As he came closer the aura of red surrounding the shadow glowed more bright .The wind was suddenly howling and more ferocious, warning Rivean of the danger standing before him. The long silver hair glowed in the dark .The red rubies on the dagger started falling down, announcing Rivean's presence to the intruder .Rivean stared with disbelief at his fallen rubies.It was impossible.The noble dagger had been with his family for years, passed down generation after generation and for it to disintegrate this way could only mean..

Suddenly he looked up and the face before him made him stagger and kneel immediately.

The single red tear flowing down his right cheek out of those red eyes made Rivean shrink in fear, but he couldn’t take his eyes away from the sight in front of him.

Captured by the beauty and the power emanating, Rivean stared at its source. Rivean could not decide if it was the presence before him or the tear stained cheek that shocked him more.Those eyes commanded respect and he bowed his head quickly, completely ruffled by His presence.

The deep quiet voice then asked one thing in such a low tone and no hint of power but still it managed to shatter Rivean's dagger completely. His eyes widened more in surprise but he kept his head bowed in respect.

Where is she..?

4

Zairi

I stayed in the Church for a while ,finding the answers I desperately needed but there was nothing for me there.

I prayed for the strength I'll be needing.

I made my way out and ran to the sanctuary provided by my mother.I didn't stop not once to even take a breath.I just ran home , to Ma.

Ma opened the door before I had reached the first step.I stopped dead.She continued staring at me.I prayed that she didn’t see the trace of red that I had scrubbed from my face.

You did it , didn't you..? She finally asked.

No strength of even uttering a single word was left in me.I just nodded my head not being able to return her gaze.

Why..? She uttered after a long silence.

I had to Ma.I had to. I whispered.

Was that the right thing..Zairi..?

No I didn't know if it was the right thing.I just knew it had to be done if I wanted everything to right itself.

I don't know Ma. I whispered miserably.

What does your heart tell you..?

I felt it in my soul.

I'll do it again and again if it meant his happiness. I said staring squarely in her eyes.

Ma smiled then. Then you have nothing to fear Zairi.Your heart took the decision.Your soul agrees with it.Then it is the most right decision.

He hates me now and will do so forever,Ma . He'll never accept me , much less love me. The pain was still there .But years of practice had made me a master in caging it in.Locking it , hiding it in the depths of my heart to never come out.I numbed it there. Not letting my Ma see it.

My daughter is the most selfless person in this world.You'll continue giving even when you'll have nothing left of yourself. Being your mother I know this.And the Holy Mother knows it.So the one time my Zairi asks for something , I am sure even Mother Nature is not that cruel to deny you . Have faith ,my darling. If Zairi and Aeran are meant for each other , then he'll realize it sooner or later just like you have.

I couldn't help but let a small smile slip at the hope my Ma showed me.Yes if we are meant for each other he'll realize it.He'll love me the same way I love him. I must keep on living with this hope still fluttering in my heart.

In no time I was in my Ma's arms hugging her tightly.

Thank you Ma.I love you so much.I don't know what I'll do without you in my world. My voice was muffled in her hair.

I love my Zairi the most too.Even though she never lets me cook. She said letting me go and pouting. I laughed forgetting everything.

Now that's what I've been waiting for so long. Her eyes became teary, but she wiped them. I couldn't help loving her more.

She looked me up and down.Now let’s get the pretty bride inside.We have to celebrate.So what if I missed your wedding ceremony and if the people here are going to burn in the hot cauldron .I looked at her wide eyed.What..?Am I not allowed to curse them. Forget them now.We both could still celebrate among ourselves can't we..?It’s a big day for my daughter. She then ushered me inside and we had a big celebration just like Ma promised.

So, what if the groom was missing? So, what if the people weren't happy.? So, what if my biggest dream turned out to be my worst nightmare.?

I was somewhat happy because my Ma was with me and I knew by her on my side I'll conquer anything.

May it be my husband's heart.

I have hope.

5

Zairi

The red eyes were beckoning me closer, no word was needed to command me.As if my body was no longer mine I kept on floating to those eyes in distance.The soft allure of them was enough for me .

The intensity of pain and anguish reflected in those eyes..Oh Holy Mother..!

I wanted to be close to ease that suffering and hurt in those shining red crystals.Just like a moth is engulfed by the fire ,not understanding and unafraid of the consequences, I was drawn more closer.

No matter how closer I felt I was ,the red eyes seemed to be unreachable.I stretched my arms and my legs to take me to them.It seemed as if I will not be able to live if I don't see myself reflected back in those red crystals.All my efforts were futile because I was still where I started from.

Don't leave me again I cried out in despair.

The red tear droplets hitting my cheeks shocked me.I couldn't stop them even if I wanted.This time even Ma's warning were not enough to stop them.The streams of red kept on falling down my cheeks.I knew I shouldn't cry but I was unable to stop.It felt like I was breaking from inside.Each part disintegrating within itself.Consuming me in it .The pain was excruciating and my body shivered.

I have to hurry.It can't end like this.I have to move faster, more faster , more...

Zairi.. A sudden shout woke me up in bed.I sat up and looked around finding Sekra hovering over my bed.

Sekra why do you have to shout so early in the morning.? I rubbed my eyes and a strange sensation passed me.I touched my cheeks.There was nothing, no wetness.Why does it feel as if I was crying..?

I have been calling your name forever.Get up now.They are here. I looked up at the tone of Sekra.

Sekra was one of my Ma's guiding spirits.Stuck in a body of flying book having wings and a cute baby face of a small girl with small legs and hands.Her life force was connected to Ma. Not going on the appearance Sekra was capable of holding her own , with ancient powers as old as time.Even though she never exhibited the power openly ,when needed Sekra could annihilate an entire empire.Only her love for the humans, especially my Ma and her favorite Zairi held her back in this realm or else she could have passed for a Formidable Goddess ,as she always points out.Ma and Sekra have been together from childhood.Ma always jokes about how Sekra got stuck out with Ma because of a bet Sekra lost.Whatever Ma says it is evident for anyone with eyes to see that Sekra is the best-est gift from Mother Nature to Ma.Her Ma could have never asked for a soul sister better than Sekra.

Now really looking at Sekra, I saw the anger in her eyes.Already I knew it was not for me.Sekra never ever got angry with me.I looked around again confused.Still unsettled.Something was missing.Something I am forgetting .Something important.

Zairi , are you even listening.You have to get up now. Sekra was closer to me looking worriedly at my face with the same hint of anger.

I shook my head and reached for the water Sekra was politely holding for me.It was then I heard the raised voice of Ma.Startled I got up from the bed and rushed to my door ready to open when Sekra held me back by her magic.

Sekra what is going on..?It was Ma's voice.Where is she..?Has something happened..?Who is out there..? I was frantic.

Zairi calm down first. Serana is alright. Sekra replied calmly, some of the anger vanishing from her face.

Then why are you not letting me out..? I asked again.

Because you can't rush out like this, wearing your night gown and bed hair.I told you they are here. Sekra said with a sigh.All anger gone from her.

They..? Who..? Stop speaking in riddles and just tell me what’s going on..? I was getting impatient.

Ma's voice was getting louder with each second I was wasting standing here.I started towards the door again .

The Kranis Clan Elders. Sekra said quietly stopping me in my tracks.

Aeran was here.The sudden joy erupting in me must have shown on my face because Sekra's face fell down.

The smile forming on my face died down as well.

6

Zairi

Zairi go back inside. Ma said.

And suddenly all their eyes were on me.

I noticed all the Elders watching me , glaring at me except Aeran's grandmother,Kurona Kranis. Despite being the oldest of the lot, she still held the power regally commanding the attention of every other Elder present in the room.

Come here.Let me look at you properly,young lady She beckoned me closer with a smile.

I looked at Ma who nodded her head slightly.Looking me over carefully, in my braided hair and the silver gown courtesy of Sekra, she engulfed me in her arms and whispered Thank you.

I knew everyone heard that whisper of thanks but none dared question the Eldest leader of the Pack.Only I knew the meaning behind those words.I nodded my head and she let go.

I am grateful to you.You have earned my trust and my respect. I smiled slightly at the praise.It was almost impossible to earn her respect.After the demise of her husband,the Alpha Marcus, it was Kurona who held the pack together and helped it flourish to be the most successful pack .

Granna.. Aeran started only to be