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    Marriage as a Performance Art
    Marriage as a Performance Art
    Marriage as a Performance Art
    Ebook52 pages51 minutes

    Marriage as a Performance Art

    By Tosin Ojumu

    ()

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    About this ebook

    A short ebook from my relationship series and blog: "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie" that is all about building an outstanding foundation for an outstanding marriage. This ebook contains 7 articles:

    Talking About Vision!
    I love the idea of establishing mutual goals to work towards from the outset. I also love the idea of booking a retreat with your spouse, minus the kids, to go off and talk through these areas, and see how you are doing within the marriage. I guess it would also give both spouses the chance to air issues on their heart.

    Marriage as a Performance Art
    I was recently reading an article by another relationship columnist, about 5 reasons that marriage does not work anymore. All the reasons that he gave were very cogent, however it was the final reason that struck me in particular, especially because I write this blog, and because of my own activity on social media. To summarise the reason, he says that social media makes it very easy to throw out privacy that is essential for nurturing the deep intimacy of a successful marriage.

    ...But I Was Outstanding!
    To be perfectly candid, I do strive after excellent character for myself. I strive to cultivate truth, righteousness and integrity in my heart, and treat people with these characteristics. I take responsibility for my own actions. I don't try to foist responsibility for my own actions onto other people. I identify insecurities in my heart and deal with them, instead of leaving them to seep out to hurt other people.

    Talking about the Day to Day!
    Even with so many excellent intentions, it must be so difficult for couples to dedicate consistent time to and for one another; time to sit around talking, listening, laughing, flirting; getting dressed up "to the nines" for one another, going out on beautiful dates or simple ones; going for long walks, holding hands; admiring one another, revelling in the delight of being together!

    What True Care Truly Looks Like
    It is like when you are looking at a beautiful painting. When you first see it face to face, you see how beautiful it is. Even when the painting is covered by many layers of cloth, you know that that beautiful and precious artwork is still there, waiting to be uncovered, even if you cannot physically see its beauty right at that moment.

    Building a Foundation for Your Singleness
    And that is when it finally struck home. Even for singleness, there needs to be an excellent foundation to enable you to persevere in singleness as long as necessary. If this is not there, then it almost makes no sense to talk about establishing an excellent foundation for marriage, because many people, myself included, will simply not be able to wait to build that excellent foundation, but will throw themselves into the first available opportunity for marriage.

    In Hot Pursuit
    OK, let's talk about the word "pursue". When you are pursuing something, it means that you are running as hard as you can to catch something which is simultaneously running away from you as fast as it can. And this is my big problem with this idea of "letting him be the one to pursue you." It is like this. You like this guy, right? You want to be in a relationship with him. So why are you running away as hard as you can from something that you want?!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTosin Ojumu
    Release dateJul 29, 2019
    ISBN9780463376638
    Marriage as a Performance Art
    Author

    Tosin Ojumu

    Hello, my name is Tosin and for many years I have sat down and thought through questions about how to have an outstandingly successful marriage, and what I need to do before I get married to best ensure that successful marriage. Over the next few weeks and months I aim to publish a new ebook everyday from my blog and relationship series "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie." Visit my blog address listed here to see the full list of ebooks as well as video excerpts for each ebook :)

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      Book preview

      Marriage as a Performance Art - Tosin Ojumu

      Marriage as a Performance Art

      Copyright 2019 by Tosin Ojumu

      Published at Smashwords.com

      Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

      Table of Contents

      Talking About Vision

      Marriage as a Performance Art

      But I Was Outstanding

      Talking about the Day to Day

      What True Care Truly Looks Like

      Building a Foundation for Your Singleness

      In Hot Pursuit

      Cover Image by Collette Hughes from Pixabay

      The ebook summary is available on my website at https://huggie-wuggie.com/excerpts/ebook-summary-marriage-as-a-performance-art/

      **********

      Talking About Vision

      This ebook was previously posted on my blog "Finding Mr Huggie-Wuggie" on 13 April 2015.

      To see this ebook in other formats please check out my website at: https://huggie-wuggie.com/excerpts/talking-about-vision/

      **********

      Here on Huggie-Wuggie, I recently linked to an external blog post, talking about the importance of having shared goals (as a married couple). The basic idea is that a couple should sit together and establish some shared goals for their marriage that they should keep working towards, This external post is very powerful, and I highly recommend reading it. However, I have to admit that I felt a little nonplussed on reading it - why did I not think of that?! I was thinking about it, and trying to make myself feel better, I concluded that my own blog posts say quite similar things, just that I had not quite managed to articulate it in those terms. And then I thought to myself that I would hopefully have eventually come up with the idea myself. It just seems so obvious for the way I think, especially with my ongoing emphasis on building a strong foundation for your marriage.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj_JJkwNqyg

      And then yesterday I watched this episode of Marriage Today by Jimmy and Karen Evans. (I watch this programme as often as I can for its Christian, Bible-based advice on marriage.) In this episode, they shared the idea of an annual Vision Retreat with your spouse, to evaluate how you are doing in the marriage, and to specifically plan for the year ahead for a number of different goals. Jimmy also suggested that you could pray intensively for your kids, if you have any (or if you want any, I guess!) And once again I was a little annoyed with myself: Why did I not think of that?!

      So yes, I do believe that these are two very powerful ideas. I love the idea of establishing mutual goals to work towards from the outset. I also love the idea of booking a retreat with your spouse, minus the kids, to go off and talk through these areas, and see how you are doing within the marriage. I guess it would also give both spouses the chance to air issues on their heart. And then again, if you dedicate a few days to this, then you could spend the first few days talking, (or arguing! - I'm just being realistic!) And then you could spend the rest of the time reconnecting with one another, focusing on one another, rekindling that spark, just enjoying being with one another. So these retreats could almost be like annual honeymoons.

      A few funny thoughts have just occurred to me. I'm thinking that these retreats could be times of remembering and celebrating aspects of your marriage that have already happened, while also embracing new aspects of your marriage and new characteristics of your spouse. Perhaps you could read through diaries for the past year, and share things that you are most grateful to your spouse for.

      This was what was really funny: I thought perhaps you could do something like this for your actual initial honeymoon - and then I thought - why not just have a prayer honeymoon?! (I must admit, I'm kinda making myself laugh a lot in thinking about this!) So you've been building up towards the wedding, and now you're finally married! Does it not make sense to spend the first week of your marriage, of your partnership

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