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Restart. Retrain. Renew: Your Life After Trauma

Restart. Retrain. Renew: Your Life After Trauma

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Restart. Retrain. Renew: Your Life After Trauma

117 pagine
1 ora
May 2, 2019


Many people in the western world have suffered from the soul-crushing debilitation of PTSD quietly behind closed doors for far too long. In my book, I open up about my own personal journey as I seek to be healed from my own traumatic experiences from a deeply biblical perspective.  God restored my mind, my hope and gave me family. And if you are searching on how God can give you this as you seek to be healed from PTSD, then may my words be comforting to your soul. 

May 2, 2019

Informazioni sull'autore

 I am just a simple writer of many things. I am no one special, nor do I claim to be. But if you read this book and it has impacted you to the point you are moved to find your own healing journey with Jesus Christ, then know you are the person I prayed for and wrote this book for. 

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Restart. Retrain. Renew - Phillip Knox


In Science we have only been reading the notes of the poem; in Christianity, we find the poem itself, 

Who this book is for: 

Fair Warning: this book contains real life stores. I didn’t change them in any way, shape, or form. 



Blog Writings & Life Lessons 

The Trained to Fight method: 

Negative side-effects of the Trained to Fight method: 

The Flight Method

Negative side-effects of the Flight Method


The Book of Ruth 

Metal Music to Garage Shops. 


Two Years Ago... 

Movie sets and Comic books 


When Great Becomes Small. 

Love is: You, Before Me. 


Face the Darkness. 

What Broke You? 


Crawl. Walk. Run. 

Authority and Forgiveness... 



Howard’s Story. 


Letting Go to Moving Forward! 

Let the dead bury their own. 





Control the Conversation: 

Rethinking mornings and evenings... 


Write It Down: 

Keep the Receipts... 


Retrain Your Words: 

Say Positive Affirmations... 


Renew the Body: 

Rethinking your body language... 




In Science we have only been reading the notes of the poem; in Christianity, we find the poem itself, C.S. Lewis.

Who this book is for:

Fair Warning: this book contains real life stores. I didn’t change them in any way, shape, or form.

I want people to heal, and for this, I need to be 100% transparent. This isn’t one of those Jesus Channel testimonies. This book contains adult content. Why? Because my goal is to help people as honestly as I can, by sharing the raw truth of what it’s like to struggle with Post Traumatic Stress disorder, PTSD.

I am not a doctor, a preacher, an evangelist, or some T.V. guy with all the answers. I am a simple man who runs a business; a man who is overcoming something crippling by utilizing/using/absorbing (?)the power of the Lord Jesus Christ, who wants to share some basic wisdom he’s learned along the way. I still struggle in this battle. I still struggle with a verbal filter—especially with F-bomb overuse—however my heart wants to equip the church to help heal those struggling with trauma—people like me.

Officially, I started this project on Wednesday, August 29, 2018, after seeking mental help from the Temecula Veteran’s Center in Southern California. I had reached out to Pastor Chris Brown of Chris Brown on Air, Alyssa Mak of Grace X Strength Yoga, and my long-time brother, Howard Howie Maddox.

Let me start this shindig by saying, PTSD is the most annoying, soul crushing, debilitating thing I have ever had to face, until now.

The thing is, you can let your brokenness keep you on your knees, or you can use God’s wisdom and allow Him to heal you from your brokenness and make you (?) whole again. I chose the second option. Why? Settling for less than God’s promise just doesn't jive with this cowboy.

The spark that lit the blazing trail for all of this was a brief, yet powerful message I received from Pastor Chris. Now, please keep in mind, I don't really know the pastor. Our relationship before this took place over social media; he posts on Instagram, I crack jokes, and he laughs. I ask him questions, and he shares God’s wisdom with me. If anything, this proves the man’s integrity and approachability, while being a very successful man in his trade in God’s kingdom. I find this absolutely phenomenal.

The conversation that sparked my healing journey went something like this:

Me: Hey, I finally went to the V.A. (the office of Veteran’s affairs) for my PTSD. So far, praying, fasting, and worship music has been great for my mental health. I am way better than I was two years ago. Is there anything more that the Bible says I can do to heal my mind? I just want to know I am doing all the right moves.

Chris: Awesome! Surround yourself with people who will pull you up spiritually, physically, emotionally, and relationally. 1 Corinthians 15:33. Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character. Seek out people who have a victor’s mentality, not a victim’s mentality.

Me: Yes, sir.

The Bible verse that Chris gave reads as follows:

Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.

Which is funny, when I look back on it. When I read this chapter the first time it should’ve been my, Oh yeah, duh! moment. I had discussed this very thing in my group text with my military buddies from the Army a month earlier, although it was in a slightly different context.

I finally became fed up with what I called the slave-minded mentality system. In the military, we were ingrained with the idea that, to achieve more, improve yourself to improve your team.

Basically, in the military, it’s a soldier’s job to become as physically fit as possible, become as educated as possible, and to learn your job to the best of your abilities, because no one else will do it for you. By becoming better physically, mentally, and in practice, the team you serve with becomes greater. Self-responsibility is the most common factor amongst (?) combat veterans, because management of the self is what will make you an effective asset. The wiser you are about managing the self, the more you can accomplish for your team and the more the team can accomplish with you.

In my broken-minded state, I settled for way less. I became a glorified mall cop for a casino near my family’s farm. An Indian reservation I grew up near paid me $13.50 an hour to body slam and handcuff tribal lawbreaking meth addicts with known HIV, only to be told later they had been released—since they spent $1 million a year at the casino. This slave mentality wasn’t only found in me. I watched people with Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees submit to this place as if it was the end of it all, while saying, At least we got a job!

So, I called my family, informing them about my situation, then threw my badge at my boss and said, I quit. After this, I created a business for myself as my grandfather and uncle did before me. I deleted and blocked all the phone numbers of the friends I had made in the casino and started a new chapter of my life.

I knew that, to become successful, I had to cut this submissive mentality from life completely. Every time I ran into someone from the Casino,

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