Godmother Quotes of Haterology 101: The Insane Book of Truth

© 2011 Heather Maria Ramirez. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 2/18/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4479-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4480-9 (e)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-4481-6 (dj)

Printed in the United States of America

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Contents

Introduction

Warning:

Bing Bang Boom:

This Is the First Official Godmother Quote in the Book

The Interlude

In Addition Here is a Re-mix

Trophy Scars

This next skit is titled…

Odd One Out

BOOM! KABAM! Here Is another Godmother Quote

The Way I Live Life

The Butterfly Caught In the Spiders Web

I am Only Human

(Well, sort of.)

The Insane Chapter of Truth

The Election

(Because, haters are campaigning to re-elect me, to be that bitch they love to hate on again.)

The Drama Queen

Sins Haters Are Forbidden to Commit

You might be a hater if…

(Yeah, you Might Be a Hater If…)

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Shitty Haters

Warning:

Another Silly Advertisement for Haters

WARNING

I Am an Original Chick

Fake Faced Fakers

Look at the Hater in the Window

I Freed the Skeletons in My Closet

The love and hate relationship with haters and fly and innocent peeps.

Getting Things off My Chest

SHH… HATERS!

Do Not Tell My Secrets…

News Flash

This an Emergency Public Announcement for Hater County

I Autographed the Haters Globe

Fake Faced Faker Freak Show

The Wedding Ceremony

The Baddest Bitch

Why Is That Hater Looking At Me

Haters Have Their Swat Team Meetings Lmfao

(It is their Sabbath Day)

The Hater Café

BING, BANG, BAM IT, BANG IT, AND LAUGH AT IT:

I Wrote Like an Egyptian

(Here is a hater history lesson. Quiet fucker’s class is in session.)

It Is What It Is

Another fly as hell Godmother Quote in Hater-ology 101 is….

HATERS

YEAH, I HAD TO GO THERE! LOL!

The Jealousy Monster Is Hungry

He says I am beautiful

The Necklace

Some Final Words

A Story Called Life

Judgment Day

About the Author

I am that fly chick who over turned the haters government, therefore I am now the most wanted fugitive in all of Hater County. For any hater that reads this book and asks that infamous question of, who the hell does she think she is? The answer is… Drum roll please… Dah, dah, tah, da a a a a a h……..

I am every hater’s nightmare, living legend, and master, so bow down to the Goddess… LMFAO!

I never set out to be a victorious queen, a poetic Goddess, or a politician, or famous as hell for overturning the haters whack ass government. Unfortunately, haters dealt those cards to me, so I played them well. This book is an insane tale, about a Goddess minding her own damn business, until haters declared war for no reason, so naturally the Goddess caused mayhem, and she and her Inkloids invaded the haters’ kingdoms… In the beginning, all I ever wanted to be was just a writer, an ordinary author, but haters could not take it that a shooting star was born and soaring, so they placed speed bumps in my road of success, and in turn, I retaliated… Haters mounted up for war in their plastic armor and I conquer all. Yes, I did. I did it with accomplices, meaning my army of fly ass Inkloids, who fired off shooting arrows and caused arson to the hearts of worm-wooded haters…. So, let us allow the story to unfold, about how the Goddess of Poetic Bang took a stand for the fly and the innocent souls. Yeah, the fly and the innocent that finds themselves having to deal with haters and their swat teams of clown dancing idiots! LMFAO! LMFAO… AGAIN!

I am guilty as charged, a fugitive at large, the responsible party, the accused there of, for writing haters a book of redemption and funny stories for the fly and the innocent to laugh at.

Introduction

Hello, my dear readers, the fly people, the innocent souls, and let us not forget the silly fucking haters out there. Did the title of my new book grab your attention? I am more than sure it did. I knew it would. LOL! However, let us get something straight, before people begin judging a book by its cover, or judging the writer, before even taking a glimpse inside the windows of the soul! I am not at fault for being born with a sense of humor, or for taking the time to stop and laugh, at the ridiculous things in life I cannot change. It is insane how people judge the outside packaging first. Some say it is human nature to be assholes and that is the best excuse they can give for being ridiculously heartless.

I judge by the heart, soul, and actions. I have learned that what most people call the ugliest people, some of the strangest people, and even some of the most different people in the world end up being, the most beautiful people to lay the naked eyes upon. Meaning, their souls are beautiful and haters should take their blinders off. Almost, every person in this world has had to deal with haters, bullies, idiots, and negative people, who have tried to destruct or bash them, whether it has been mentally, physically, emotionally, verbally, or all of the above. I have had my share of haters to, and it has been insanely nuts to deal with at times, but I am a strong-minded person, so I have learned to cope with the shit, and mastermind it all.

I have learned to grow, regardless, of the jealousy and negativity surrounding me. I have learned to mold myself with positive atmospheres and that is why I am a star. I have learned to deal with this love hate relationship my haters and I seem to share. They hate me and I love the entertainment they bring into my life. Haters can come up with the most bizarre rumors and I cannot help but personally laugh at the shit myself, because every hater’s version is different anyways, and trust me, I have heard it all. I have dealt with every kind of hater imaginable. I am thankful for the gift, I have been given to keep my haters talking, stalking, gossiping, and wondering what my next move is going to be. All I know is that haters have an un-dying interest in me and my fan base of haters is un-believable. Because, I was famous before this writing thing came about, just for being the original chick I am, for having a fly swag, and for being born too pretty for my own damn good.

The whole reason for writing this book is to let my haters and every other hater that is sure to surface in and out of my life know this… I AM UNBREAKABLE! I am a goddess, whether haters like the shit or not. I am talented. I am going to chase my dreams, reach my goals, become a household name, and be famous as hell no matter how many road blocks haters set up, because I am on God’s clock, and not a haters stop watch.

This is an inspirational book, for every fly chica, innocent soul, and every other person, whom never deserved to have to deal with haters. Haters will never decide my fate, nor, will I ever give haters the advantage to make me fail. Haters can gossip, spread rumors, and create false tabloids, and it still will not change a damn thing. I am a beautiful person inside and out. I am going to write for the world no matter who likes it, or who does not like it. I will make it with or without a deal, and I will reach the top of the success ladder in life without stumbling off track, dangling over the edge, or giving up on anything I want out of life.

I was born a writer, I set out to be the best, and I will reach my goals. Because, I am an original chica, an independent chick, and I was born a writer with unique talent. So, watch out world, because I am about to mark the world up with my pen, and splash the poetry from my heart all over the globe, while singing poetic terminology with my beautiful writers voice. I am going to write on hearts, mentalities, souls, and tattoo people’s memories, so I will be remembered. I will be one of the unforgotten. Yes, with my writer’s voice, I will sing loud, louder, and loudly. In addition, believe me; I can carry a tune, which is why my haters wear earplugs, because they cannot handle hearing the truth!

Here is a little Godmother advice. Never judge a book by its cover, and I do hope you understand the poetic terminology in that saying, just as I have written it. Meaning, never pre-judge a person, because their sky is a different color, because you may miss a beautiful sunset. You may miss a pink sky with blinging emerald stars. You may not stumble across the missing key you have searched for to unlock a door to something wonderful, because that is exactly what I am. Yeah, I am a wonderful package and haters know it. They hate it and I love it! My dearest readers, welcome to my world. You have just entered Hater County and I am going to give you a tour of the haters’ realm. Haters want to crucifix me, because I took over their world and over turned their silly government. I have taken over the minds of haters and I have them plugged in like matrix. For example, a hating female asked me who the fuck I thought I was and I replied, I am your master bitch so bow down! LMFAO. I mean honestly, ask a stupid question and get an honest answer! For the record, and so there is no confusion, please, allow me to introduce myself! I am a writer like no other. I am a writer of a generation, a historical remembrance, and futuristic revelations. I am the new queen of the writers’ world, my sash is labeled, and my crown sparkles. I never claimed to be the baddest bitch, but I am among the clans of them. I may not be the flyest, but I fly in the flocks of them. Nevertheless, what I really am is the new queen of the writers’ world and that is a title… I WOULD FIGHT TO THE DEATH FOR! That is who the fuck I am, among other spectacular things sure to be unveiled. Yeah, just in case a hater gets the story twisted, there went a little insight for their record keeping. We know haters like to document and keep shit popping.

Warning:

This book is for the fly, the innocent, as well as the lost haters looking to repent. It may be hazardous to a hater’s mentality and may cause them to flip out into a spontaneous rage of jealousy. This book contains strong language, and slang, and is defiantly not appropriate for readers under the age of eighteen. This book is full of insane truth, ridiculous humor, and serious poetic terminology. The point is this book is going to be a damn right out trip. It was a classic in the making. I am going to sell a million with this one, because everyone can relate to this topic, whether they admit it or not, this is an insane book of truth. It is every lost hater’s bible and every non-repenting hater’s nightmare. That is why haters bash it! Someday, one way or another, every hater will learn to live his or her own lives, rather than, trying to live in the lives of others when uninvited.

Only the fly and the innocent will understand this book of writings. Therefore, unless you are a reader who has had the unfortunate events and situations concerning haters take place in your life, then the odds of you understanding this book is slim to a nada percentage of shit. However, if you are a reader who has had to deal with your share of haters, then you are going to love this book, because there is not another book like it, which will reveal the ugly truth about haters and their swat teams. Haters will find everything in the world wrong with this book and I cannot wait to laugh at their gossip, philosophies, and theories. I also cannot wait to see the drama kings and queens give their best dramatic performs, in the fake faced freak theater, after they have read Hater-ology. I am sure it will be a box office hit, a sold out event, and every hater in Hater County will attend it. Lmfao and lmfao again. Yeah, ya know, every good bitch has to give her haters a good script to work with.

This book gives haters their fifteen minutes of fame, but it is also an inspirational book for every person who has ever been harassed, bullied, lied on, or gossiped about, by a devil-damn forsaken hater, for no damn good reason at all. Let us begin shall we? I cannot wait to get this party jumping. I want my readers to have a good time with this book, sit back, and laugh ya asses off. If haters feel as if the pages of this book begins to be too much to digest, than by all means take a break, and pop open a can of hater-aid to calm your nerves a little bit, and shit it back out. Nobody said haters had to read it, but we know all haters will, and then they will try to spark it. Unfortunately, the book will not burn, because it is already fire. Ha, ha, ha! Haters hate it because the new queen of the writers’ world brought order to their kingdom, de, da, and dumb ass haters!

Bing Bang Boom:

This Is the First Official Godmother Quote in the Book

Never judge a book by its cover and that is rule number one. This book was written for and dedicated to, every fly person and innocent soul out there that was, is, or, will be hated on just like me for no damn good reason. We have all had our share of haters and having to deal with them can be a pain in the ass. Especially, when you do not want to retaliate, only to catch a case, and end up standing in front of a judge somewhere. Nah, a jail sentence is just not worth it, been there, done that, and I have better ways to spend my life. That is why I always get out of bed early. My feet hit the floor early in the mornings, before Satan awakes and rises to hype up my haters, just too intentionally fuck up my day, because dealing with these damn haters in a normal state is enough already, without the devils help. Through it all, I do stay pretty much a laid-back person in this game called life, and I take most of the negative shit like a grain of salt. Instead, I allow haters to entertain me the way I seem to entertain them. I have actually learned to adore my haters, in this love hate relationship, which somehow formed between us.

Besides, it is hilarious to me what haters will go through, just to keep my name bouncing off the corners of the earth. Haters crack me up, that is why without zero due respect given, haters deserve a little spot lighting. Yeah, haters seek their fifteen minutes of fame, that is exactly why the ones who out do themselves in the plot of destruction to see me fail, are the ones I truly applaud. I award them types of assholes with plastic Grammys for their award winning drama king and queen performances.

Being constantly hunted down by my own personal paparazzi, consisting of the hater tribes of clown dancing and bullshit chanting jack asses, I have also learned the haters unique language of bullshit, because that’s all they talk is shit, and I have had to hear it all my life. Therefore, yeah, I have fluently learned the haters’ language of bullshit, because that is all they are every talking. Yes, haters’ conversations can get pretty fucking unbelievable and every version is always different. Haters even try to outdo each other, by trying to top another hater’s gossip with even more outrageous lies of bullshit.

However, in the recent chain of events, I have successfully overturned the haters government with this fire back book of defense and other untold episodes I have experienced, when I fell from my Goddess cloud, and ended up in a fucked up haters realm. They have made me their poster child and re-elected me again to be that chick they love to hate on. Haters have a reward on my head down in Hater County. I hear… I am wanted, dead or alive, and the reward is quite substantial. LMFAO! I guess the point to this Godmother quote is…. Whether haters like it or not…

I wear the crown of success. I wear the sash and my title reads, new queen of the writers’ world. I am the flyest chica in a hater’s realm, the most infamous outlaw who ever took a stand, and over turned the haters government of closed-minded jack assess. So now, I sing a new song with my writer’s voice in the haters’ kingdom. It goes a little something like this.

See the jewels sparkle in my crown of success. Creators are trophy keepers and haters are empty- handed weepers, I am untouchable to the hater reaper. The hater reaper seeking to put me to sleep and strip me from my fame, said my crown of success was so bright it blinded him and he couldn’t find his way, but reminded me haters have put a reward out on my head, yet again, and they are hater bounty hunting my ass. Haters will not stop until I am in a mental locked box of a hater’s prison cell. The fuck if I will lose the battle and allow hater quacks to dissect my confidence and intellect. That will never happen, because my intellect is like a machine gun always firing off with a slick comeback. My mouth game is the only weapon I need to walk on the battlefield with, and my dark raven fucking beauty can cause a hater to become so intoxicated they cannot speak, so they surrender, because I am too fucking original for them. Therefore, the advice the Godmother is giving is to always shine like an original, do you, and be all you can be. The hell with haters and what they do or what they say. Peace out to haters and their two left feet clown dancing swat teams. AHA HA LMFAO!

The Interlude

This book was written for, and dedicated to every person like me, who has ever been hated on, for no damn good reason. Many people advised me that writing a book like this would be bad for business, sales, and my image.