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The Salami Salesman and His Daughter Falafel: What an Older Man’S Death Can Teach Us About How and How Not to Care for the Frail and Dying
The Salami Salesman and His Daughter Falafel: What an Older Man’S Death Can Teach Us About How and How Not to Care for the Frail and Dying
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The Salami Salesman and His Daughter Falafel - Laurie Mallery
The Salami Salesman
and
His Daughter Falafel:
What an older man’s death can teach us about how and how not to care for the frail and dying
Laurie Mallery, MD
Care principles developed with Dr. Paige Moorhouse
AuthorHouse™
1663 Liberty Drive
Bloomington, IN 47403
www.authorhouse.com
Phone: 1-800-839-8640
© 2011 Laurie Mallery, MD. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
First published by AuthorHouse 1/24/2011
ISBN: 9-781-4567-1676-9 (e)
ISBN: 9-781-4567-1898-5 (sc)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011901350
Printed in the United States of America
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
This book is printed on acid-free paper.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
Introduction
The Salami Salesman and his Daughter Falafel:
The Beginning and the End
Too Many Medications
The Fall
The Annoying Family
The Salami Salesman
Rehab, but not Really
A New Meaning of Home
The Final Phase
What’s Wrong with this Picture
Concluding Contemplation
What to Do
Acknowledgement
About the Author
Introduction
AS A PRACTICING PHYSICIAN of internal and geriatric medicine at a major urban teaching hospital, I take care of frail older patients and see a lot of dying. In my work, I notice that health professionals, caregivers and families do not always understand how to properly care for older adults with multiple, serious medical problems. Much too often what we see is distressing, dehumanizing and lonely deaths that have become the norm for older people, who are routinely subjected to tremendous unnecessary suffering and forced into conditions that rob them of their last shred of dignity. Useless tests and surgical procedures become the main focus of dying. A meaningful death experience—where people gather to comfort and support the dying person—is replaced by ceremonies of blood draws and invasive procedures. My dad’s last year of life drove this point home in a way that I could not ignore, and empowered our family to find value in caregiving. This book follows his healthcare experiences as a means of illustrating the challenges families face today when they try to help their loved ones navigate healthcare systems with dignity and comfort during their final years of life.
The Salami Salesman and his Daughter Falafel:
What an older man’s death can teach us about how and how not to care for the frail and dying
MY FATHER DIED ON September 11, 2008, and I miss him. Yet his death inspired me to consider how his life ended and how the medical system could have better served him at the end of his life. When my father began his slow decline towards frailty and eventual death, I was able, as an internist and geriatrician, to view these poignant life events from a unique perspective, and personally experience the many obstacles in the health care system that make it difficult for frail, older people to receive appropriate care.
Astute practitioners of geriatric medicine try to understand common health conditions of the elderly, aiming to improve function and prevent disability. When that is not possible and death is inevitable, we support the dying process. The holistic approach used by geriatric medicine is different from a traditional approach that may make decisions using a single illness
model. The single illness model sees only one thing wrong at once – the heart, the lung, the cancer – rather than considering the full picture that reflects the complex and interacting issues. Treatment guidelines developed for healthier individuals (those that typically have more life ahead of them) are inappropriately applied to older people with multiple medical problems who may be nearing the end of life.
Within traditional medicine, there is still unwillingness to face the fact that many older adults with multiple medical illnesses will do poorly despite our best efforts. Conversations about illness severity, irreversible symptoms, and the dying process are rare. Families often have inadequate knowledge of the complications related to medical and surgical interventions and may have limited advanced warning about the