The Art of Happiness
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About this ebook
Happiness helps you live your life on your own terms in the values of your choosing True Freedom. In that way everyday your life grows richer and fuller as you create more value.
Your emotions make you a unique individual. There is more than anecdotal evidence that you can control the way you feel. How you create, maintain and foster this peace of mind is the object of this book.
Dr. Alfred Nkut
Dr. Alfred Nkut, M.D., is an accomplished physician, entrepreneur, and philanthropist with avid interest in leadership. His experience has shown him that self-improvement, especially development of character goals, is not emphasized in most formal educational systems. For this reason, he grew increasingly interested in studying, learning, growing, and researching to provide additional insight into the subject of leadership. Dr. Nkut sees every day as an opportunity to add value not only to his own life, but to the lives of others as well. He has also founded the Skylimit Corporation to make a difference in the lives of people, and a financial institution in Cameroon, West Africa with the goal of poverty relief. The more he learns and understands the area of leadership and success, the more passion he has for sharing that knowledge and for encouraging those who wish to improve their lives. He knows of no better way to get a kick out of life than to give, because for him giving is receiving; it is love—and that’s how you make your way to “heaven.” Dr. Nkut and his wife, Dr. Elaine Blacklock, both practice medicine in Greater Sudbury, Ontario, Canada, and are proud to call the city home along with their children Jacob and Ruthie.
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The Art of Happiness - Dr. Alfred Nkut
© 2011 Dr. Alfred Nkut. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.
First published by AuthorHouse 2/17/2011
ISBN: 978-1-4567-4113-6 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-4567-4112-9 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011905920
Printed in the United States of America
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,
and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.
Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.
Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter One Mood
Chapter Two How to Measure Your Moods
Chapter Three Master Your Emotions
Chapter Four Play the Happy Role
Chapter Five How to Change the Way You Feel
Chapter Six Joy-Based Philosophy
Chapter Seven Personality and Happiness
Chapter Eight The Psychology of Happiness
Chapter Nine The Power of the Mind
Chapter Ten Happiness and the Law of Attraction
Chapter Eleven Live Fearless and Free
Chapter Twelve The Joy of Giving
Chapter Thirteen Bouncing Back
Chapter Fourteen Finding Your Rhythm
Chapter Fifteen Detoxify Your Mind
About the Author
End Notes
Acknowledgments
I’m profoundly appreciative for the contributions of the many who have made the process of creating The Art of Happiness a fulfilling experience. My heartfelt gratitude to Jessica Lachance and Daniela Flores for cocreating the cover design and artwork. I greatly welcome your creativity and inspiration. Thanks to AuthorHouse, my publisher.
To all those who seek growth in happiness, the greatest measure of success.
And, as always, to my wife, Elaine Blacklock, and our children, Ruthie and Jacob, the most important influences in my life.
Introduction
I am a family doctor dedicated to empowering people to take charge of their lives. This is because I have observed that it is the first step in achieving success, even in living a healthier and happier life.
In this book, I tell the story of a man, Munic. Before I met him, his life was being driven by perceived obstacles, like fear. Through my personal mentoring with him, using the principles and the strategies that I discuss in this book, he overcame the fear that was holding him back. He regained his confidence and created a blueprint for living his best life—one of personal satisfaction. He saved himself from the nightmare of being left behind in life.
You can save yourself and make miracles happen in your life as well. I know how important this is to your life. Personal satisfaction is the greatest measure of success.
In this book, you will learn how to turn even your worries into happiness. Happiness is a positive emotion. In this book, happiness refers to personal satisfaction.
I look at the mastery of emotions as an art because it involves the practice of learned skills and certain behaviors. Emotions are impulses of energy that follow your thoughts and experiences. They are either positive or negative. Worry, anger, and fear are common negative emotions.
Why am I fascinated with emotions? I have always been very interested in emotions because they are intertwined with our thoughts, health status, relationships, and daily activities. As a family doctor, I coach scores of people on a daily basis. I have observed how negative emotions, like worry and anger, can destroy lives.
You will learn that it is not the feel of the surge of anger that matters, but what you do with it. You will learn the practical steps that will help you turn the energy of those negative emotions into happiness.
Your overall life satisfaction is influenced by multiple factors that will be discussed in this book. Your power in improving your level of happiness lies in knowing how to handle the variables that you can control.
Your thoughts set the tone for your state of mind, because your emotions follow your thoughts. The way you think affects both your chemistry and your emotions. Therefore, you can train your mind to carry the emotions that you want.
I truly believe that it is easier to make a positive change in your level of happiness if you know your dominant emotion and where you want to be. This is why, in Chapter Two, you will assess your level of happiness, anxiety, and depression. These two negative emotions often coexist, so do not be alarmed by their presence. Even more importantly, your awareness of them is crucial for releasing them from your mind. So the testing is also an eye-opener for you to learn how to recognize them. That is the very first step in trying to change anything: recognize what it is and acknowledge it rather than deny it!
The quick quiz later in this book will take just a few minutes to administer. It will help you focus as you read the book, as you can chart and monitor your progress with time.
I also strongly recommend that you take the quiz again once you’re done reading the book. That will give you a clue into how much you’ve improved.
missing image fileChapter One
Mood
Understanding Mood
Moods are very important because they are like an indicator or litmus to how we are doing internally. They are very colorful, like the rainbow, so they bring so much beauty to our lives, and make us unique as well.
Moods are thus a key part of our lives, and even though they are just feelings, they can significantly affect our lives. Moods are impulses of energy that follow our thoughts and experiences. They are divided into two classes: positive and negative.
Our personal satisfaction is closely linked to the positive moods. Common examples are joy, excitement, exuberance, exhilaration, hope, love, and many more. Amongst negative emotions are worry, fear, doubt, sadness, resentment, guilt, hate, and many more. There is a range of both positive and negative emotions on the Emotional Guidance Scale in Chapter Five.
Positive emotions are generally associated with inner calm or personal satisfaction. Meanwhile the negative ones are associated with inner tension or dissatisfaction of some sort.
People tend to feel good when things are going in the direction that they want. The feeling of tension happens when we do not like the way things are going. The question then becomes how we foster the feelings that we like and then stifle those that are not consistent with our intention. Before the end of this book, that question and many more, including how to turn even your worries into joy, will be answered.
I tend to call negative emotions toxic because they poison our ability to be happy. The key to the creation of negative emotions is our outlook on any life situation. If we perceive a situation as unsatisfactory or threatening, the limbic system in our brain through its electrical firing produces negative emotions. This is why people who have toxic emotions habitually set the filter in their mind as negative, rather than positive—as in happy people!
But to understand emotional scores, it is important to know some of the things that go into people’s experiences of satisfaction or dissatisfaction. There is no one key to life satisfaction; rather, there is a mosaic that includes multiple elements. The very things that make people happy may make them unhappy as well. For example, a good relationship could suddenly become sour for no apparent reason.
Emotional scores are dynamic and will change with time. Persistent work, and the awareness that things could get better through the renewal of one’s commitment to a faltering relationship or recovery is imminent after a major loss. So, interpret your emotional scores in light of your current life situation. You might score poorly on the anxiety quiz because you are currently experiencing bereavement, not because you are generally an anxious person.
But remember that a persistent negative thought pattern in the long run will foster the secretion of stress hormones, like adrenaline and cortisol. Large quantities of these hormones will make you feel tension within and will lower your immunity, respectively. That will then make you more prone to physical illnesses, like heart attacks and infections.
On the other hand, a persistently uplifting or positive thought pattern makes our brains secrete happy chemicals, like serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamine. So you can see that our perception affects our chemistry. It’s a very strong correlation.
Emotions are very powerful in that they can tell us a lot about our overall well-being. In that respect they are like an internal monitor, both spiritually and physically, as our mind and body balances and correlates with them. Emotions make us unique because they make us stand out as individuals. They also color our interpretation of events and, hence, affect the level of our life satisfaction.
In subsequent chapters I discuss in great detail the elements that affect our life satisfaction, but suffice it to say that amongst them are the happiness set point (50 percent), attitude (40 percent), and circumstances (10 percent).[1]
Psychologists have developed this set-point theory of happiness. They contend that most people return to happiness within about six months of a dramatic event, like the loss of a job. They call that original reference point of happiness their set point. It means that this set point depends very little on the normal highs and lows of human experience and changing circumstances. The set point relates to our nature or personality.
It is the source of joy that is not tied to our circumstances, like economic prosperity or our marital status. You have certainly heard people talk about a happy or unhappy temperament, which is another simple way of putting it.
Our thought pattern correlates with attitude. Our way of thinking is the main factor that is changeable. It has also been shown that how we see a situation is more important than the facts. This, in part, explains why our circumstances account for only about 10 percent of our level of happiness.
But while this emotional quiz tells us our overall life satisfaction or dissatisfaction at a point in time, there are innumerable factors that come into play. There are elements that relate to who we are in terms of our level of confidence and self-esteem.
Personal factors are also important—for example, your spiritual growth, health status, performance at work, and the achievement of your life goals. For many people it is important to feel connected to something larger than themselves. That has