Life's Learned Lessons Short Stories of Faith and Belief

Life’s Learned Lessons

Short Stories of Faith

and Belief

by

Martha

This book is a work of fiction. Places, events, and situations in this story are purely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

© 2004 by Martha.

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 04/19/04

ISBN: 1-4184-0834-4 (e)

ISBN: 1- 4184-0836-0(sc)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2004104929

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Contents

Because She Didn’t Know

I Am Not Sure

Needing A Break From Life

Mattie Was Smart

She’s A Very Sweet Girl

What She Didn’t Know

Larry

About The Author

BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T KNOW

What does intercourse mean, Marea asked her older sister and cousins. They all laughed and no one told Marea what intercourse meant. Marea grew up without being told about sex, growing up, or even menstrual periods. Marea spent most weekends and summers at her grandmother’s house where her aunt and cousins lived. Marea knew that she was being mistreated when she would have to do the dishes while her cousins were outside playing but there was really nothing she could do because she loved being at this house. What Marea didn’t realize at the time was she was getting a lesson in how to truly clean a kitchen because her aunt was there to make sure she did it right and if she didn’t do it right, she did it over. She learned that you dried dishes with the dry towel and pots and skillets with the dish towel. That was a lesson that Marea took with her into adulthood.

Marea’s cousins, Candy and Felice, always had the best things. Marea’s aunt, Felicia made sure her girls were always dressed nice and had money to buy what they wanted. Marea’s mother was never around to make sure she had anything. Marea didn’t have nice clothes or an older person to guide her in ways relevant to growing up but she was allowed to go to work with her grandmother who did house cleaning. This is the act that taught Marea that she would have to work to get what she wanted. Marea liked going to work with her grandmother as she loved her grandmother because she was known and loved by all. Neighborhood people called her Ms. Hazel. Ms. Hazel was a peace keeper. She would keep the peace when the neighborhood guys would clown with each other or have arguments.

Candy and Felice didn’t get along too well with grandmother as they didn’t like going to work with her. She would sometimes force them to go to work with her, trying to get them to understand how important it was to learn to go to work. Candy and Felice grudgingly went to work with grandmother but they would steal from their grandmother’s employers. When confronted by their grandmother, they would deny stealing but she knew they did, there was no one else in the home except the people that lived there. Candy was 2 years older than Marea and Felice was 2 years younger. Rita, their friend, was 1 year older than Marea.

Marea never found out what intercourse meant. After she asked about it but never got an answer, she kind of forgot about it. Marea never talked about sex with Candy or Felice as they were approximately the same age and she just didn’t think they knew anymore about it than she did. When Marea started her menstrual period the summer of 1974, she wasn’t afraid but she had no one to talk to about it. She had no protection to use to guard against staining her clothing. Marea turned to one of their neighbors who lived across the street. Her name was Rita. She lived with both her parents and her sisters and brothers. Rita was smart and she told Marea all about how to use the clothes protection and about how long her menstrual cycle might last. Marea had no one to get money from to buy her own protection so she had to again asked Rita who was very nice about helping her with this problem.

It started when Marea was 13 years old. Playing outside with friends and cousins during summer months was what she lived for. As soon as school was out for summer, she would pack her clothes and be off walking to her grandmother’s house. At this age, Marea was 5’7" tall, she weighed 135 pounds with full breasts and small waist but not very good looking in her own eyes. She didn’t have very nice clothes and hair was kind of short. Marea would get a press and curl on her hair but that didn’t last very long. Perms was not the in-thing for African-Americans during that time.

At grandmother’s, it was customary for the girls to have liquor as they had older brothers and cousins. Candy’s brother, Miller, and his friends would always parties in the basement. After their parties ended, Marea and her cousins and friends would go into the basement and drink liquor. It was common for the girls to have liquor and beer. They even smoked cigarettes. Marea never realized that smoking cigarettes and drinking would lead to other things that would cause her terrible harm in the future. Marea drank liquor but it was not something she liked to do. She could never get the buzz the other girls always talked about. Marea would drink and drink until she became sick and throw up all over the place but the next weekend or the next time she and the girls were together, they would be drinking and smoking again. Marea and her cousins would have liquor left over from an earlier party or they would have an older brother or cousin buy liquor for them.

While at her grandmother’s the summer of 1975, Marea met Eldridge. Eldridge was tall, handsome with very nice legs. Of course, Eldrige had his own bicycle and no girlfriend which was what Marea wanted to hear. Marea thought Eldridge was a dream come true, she had a boyfriend and was not without a bicycle to ride when the girls wanted to go to the corner store. While in the basement, the younger people, including Marea and Eldridge would be kissing and carrying on. That was okay but Marea was hoping that would be as far as it went. She never really knew exactly what to expect next but she knew it was something she shouldn’t do.

As time went on, Eldrige began to be persistent about having sex with Marea. Marea had always considered herself to be a smart person. Marea was not as smart as she thought she was. She had no understanding of how cruel people could be or that family could be your worst enemy. Eldridge began to say that he was going to stop being Marea’s boyfriend if she didn’t have sex with him. Well Marea really liked Eldridge and she wanted him to continue to be her boyfriend she just didn’t want to have sex. Marea was at her grandmother’s house and Eldridge was trying to get her to go into the basement with him. Her aunt, Felicia overheard Eldridge asking Marea to go into the basement with him and she was refusing. Her aunt said to her you’d better get it while you’re young. Well this was her aunt talking to her and she didn’t think twice about the consequences of her going into the basement. She figured it would be all right if her aunt told her to go ahead and do it.

Well she did it because she didn’t know what it was going to be like. She didn’t know anything about the consequences of her behavior. When Marea realized that what her aunt encouraged her do made her feel so sad. She didn’t understand why her aunt would tell her to do something like that. Marea knew that Candy and Felice had never did anything like that because they would have told her about it. Marea didn’t like sex with Eldridge, he was very rough with her, he was only 16 and didn’t really know exactly what to do. He only wanted to put it in and be done with her then. Well he couldn’t be done with her because that one time Marea had sex, she became pregnant.

Because Marea’s aunt encouraged her to have sex with Eldridge, it made Marea aware then that even people who are supposed to help you would do things that would hurt you. Marea never told her mother that her aunt told her to go into the basement with Eldridge. Eldridge wanted to continue to have sex with Marea but she hated him. She thought he cared about her and didn’t know that she would become pregnant the first time she had sex with him. Marea would not talk to Eldridge anymore. He would come around and try to be with her but she just couldn’t bring herself to be friends with him anymore. Marea was 14 years old and no one thought she was having sex. Everybody said we never thought to talk to her about it. Marea was very angry with all of them, especially her mother whom she thought should have told her what was going on. She wanted to have an abortion but her mother would have none of that. Her mother, Mickey said that you’ve made your bed, now lie in it.

Very bitter about the situation she found herself in, Marea was forced to return to school 14 and pregnant, alone and still not knowing exactly what she was supposed to do. Marea made good grades in school and was on the honor roll even though sometimes she missed school because she had no clean clothes or there was no one around who cared whether she went to school or not. At 14, Marea was a sophomore in high school. Marea was good in the books, she skipped 8th grade went straight from 7the grade to 9th grade, completing 8th grade in summer school. She was still smoking cigarettes but she didn’t drink anymore. Maria didn’t know that drinking would harm the baby but she wasn’t as fascinated with going to her grandmother’s house anymore where her aunt lived. She began to realize that wasn’t as special a place to be as she thought it was even though she still loved her grandmother and thought of her often. She would visit occasionally but it was different now, Marea began to understand that you have to pay attention to what is going on around you or you will get hurt.

Marea continued to go to school. It was a hard time in her life because it was not common for teenagers to be pregnant in school back in 1975. She was kind of like an outcast. People looked upon her with wonder, with the look of how could that have happened to such a young child. Marea felt ashamed and embarrased but there was really nothing she could do, the damage had been done. After becoming pregnant, Marea didn’t get to see Eldridge much because she wasn’t going to her grandmother’s house and Eldridge could not visit Marea at home. Marea’s mother was not pleased with her situation but did nothing to change it. Abortion was not an option at the time.

During the summer months, Marea met another young man. This man was a lot older than Marea. He was good looking but offered nothing but heart ache for Marea as well. His name was Ronald. He had two gold teeth, he was dark and wore very nice clothing. He would come and see Marea sometime but they never shared an evening out together. Even though Marea was four months pregnant at the time, Ronald still wanted to have sex with her. Well Marea figured she couldn’t get pregnant again and she hadn’t been with Eldridge in a long time. She was hoping that if she had sex with Ronald, he would continue to be with her but he didn’t. After having sex with Marea, she didn’t see Ronald anymore for a while. He came around two weeks later wanting to have sex with Marea again. Marea had sex with Ronald again and she didn’t see him for a while. The next time Marea saw Ronald, she was very angry because she discovered that he was only using her for sex and she didn’t like that at all.

Marea did a lot of talking to Ronald and he didn’t like what she had to say. She expressed her sadness over the way he had treated her and he tried to shrug it off like it was nothing. Marea told Ronald that she could get laid any time but she thought they had something special. Ronald said how can we have something special when you are already pregnant. This statement hurt Marea and she told Ronald that he couldn’t come to her house anymore. Ronald’s response was that he didn’t care about coming over her house as he only wanted to have sex with her anyway. He stated that he had lots of girls that he could have sex with she just lived around the corner and was convenient. Marea didn’t see Ronald anymore at her house but she did run into him at school from time to time. He never said anything to her, he acted like he didn’t even know her.

Marea continued going to school but stayed to herself mostly. After the situation with Ronald, she wasn’t sure about what to do anymore. During the summer months, Marea had a tutor because she was told that she should get a tutor so she wouldn’t have to make up the time she would be out after the baby was born. Her tutor was nice to her and helped her a lot in algebra. Marea passed algebra and got credit for that class but didn’t do much else that summer.

Marea decided that she would visit her grandmother. She and her grandmother talked about what it was going to be like when Marea was further along in the pregnancy so Marea would know what to expect. Ms. Hazel told Marea that she would have to use the bathroom a lot and that sometimes she would feel pressure in her pelvic area. Marea asked her grandmother what it was like to have a baby. Ms. Hazel told her that it might be painful and that labor could last a long time. Marea wasn’t sure she liked the idea about pain and labor lasting a long time. She asked her grandmother if there was something she could do to make having the baby not as painful. Ms. Hazel kind of chuckled and said that no it was all mother nature going to do this job and Marea had no choice in the matter. Marea began to be afraid because she felt if she couldn’t control the pain during having the baby, it might be more than she could handle.

Ms. Hazel told Marea that the doctors and nurses would be there to help her through having the baby. Marea asked if anybody else could be there with her. Ms. Hazel told her that she might have her mother with her but probably not in the delivery room. Marea worried about that for a while but her baby was not due until December so she kind of forgot about it. Eldridge came over to visit Marea at her grandmother’s house. Eldridge wanted to have sex with Marea but she didn’t like the idea that she was pregnant and she thought about being by herself and what Ronald had done to her. Marea refused to have sex with Eldridge. He was angry with her but that didn’t matter to Marea anymore. She didn’t care that Eldridge wouldn’t be her boyfriend if she didn’t have sex with her because she lived in another part of town and hardly got to see him. Marea and Eldridge had an argument and she said that she didn’t want to see him anymore, that he didn’t have to come to her grandmother’s house again.

Marea decided that she would rather be by herself than to have Eldridge using her for sex. Marea started to feel differently about having a boyfriend. She wasn’t having any fun with her cousins or friends because she was pregnant and they were having fun riding bikes and being with their boyfriends. They were able to do things that Marea couldn’t do because she was five months pregnant at the time. The next time Marea came to her grandmother’s house, she met Kelly. He was so cute to Marea. He was very bow legged and she just liked him so much. Well Kelly turned out to be just like Eldridge and Ronald. She couldn’t believe he was the same way. Marea didn’t have sex with Kelly while she was pregnant even though he tried to.

Summer was over and it was time to go back to school. Marea was really big with her pregnancy and she gained a lot of weight. She went from 135 pounds to 180 pounds at six months pregnant. She saw Ronald at school and he was trying to act like he wanted to be with her again. He told her how good she looked while she was pregnant and that her behind was turning him on. Ronald came over Marea’s house but she would have nothing else to do with him. It was still painful to think about how he treated her in the past. Ronald tried continuously to have sex with Marea but she refused and he eventually stopped coming over.

School was refuge for Marea because she had something to focus on. She would get into her books and study. She always thought about what it was going to be like when she graduated from high school and go on to college. Marea completed all her home work while still at school as she was far ahead of the other students. Marea went to high school in Welles and all students had the same notebooks. One day Marea was sitting on the front of the school and found another student copying from her book. He thought she would make a big deal about it. He apologized and said that he knew she had all the right answers and he didn’t have time to complete his home work. Marea was impressed that he would copy her work and told him it was OK that he could use her book any time and he did. Sometimes Marea would look for her notebook and couldn’t find it because Tyrone had it copying from it. Marea told him that he would have to have her book back before it was time for her to go to the class.

Marea was beginning to be afraid again because it was getting close to time to have her baby. She started to experience some of the symptoms her grandmother had told her about. She started to have the shooting pains in her pelvic area and the swelling of her feet. She continued to gain weight because she was eating so much. Marea felt that she was eating for two people and