Revitalize, Don’T Retire

Copyright © 2010 by Lewis D. Solomon

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

iUniverse

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.iuniverse.com

1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any Web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid.

ISBN: 978-1-4502-2731-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4502-2730-8 (ebk)

iUniverse rev. date: 5/13/2010

CONTENTS

Introduction: The New Retirement

I. Existential Wellness: Find Meaning And Purpose In Your Life So You Can Be Young At Eighty And Ninety

1. Discover Your Dreams, Passions, And Values

2. Identify Your Strengths, Motivators, And Personality Type And Then Formulate And Implement A Longevity Plan

3. Strive To Be Productive But Seek Balance In Your Life

II. Emotional Wellness: Develop And Maintain Positive Character Traits

4. Boost Your Joyfulness And Optimism

5. Enhance Your Serenity

6. Cultivate Your Loving Kindness And Forgiveness

III. Physical Wellness: Keep Physically Fit And Mentally Alert

7. Improve Your Body Wellness

8. Promote Your Brain Wellness

IV. Financial Wellness: Fund Your Longevity Plan In A Stress-Free Manner

9. Estimate Your Future Expenses And Income

10. Invest Your Nest Egg

11. Crack Open Your Nest Egg

Conclusion: The Great Beyond

About The Author

Notes

DEDICATION

In memory of Samuel Lewis and Philip Tilkus

I want to thank posthumously Rabbi Morris Lichtenstein, whose focus on character development enlightened my path.

Note: Except for my relatives, the names used in this book are pseudonyms.

INTRODUCTION: THE NEW RETIREMENT

Retirement may be the longest stage of your life. You want a fulfilling life, feeling valued and needed, mentally challenged, not merely keeping busy.

Men in their 60s today are apt to enjoy considerably healthier retirements than their fathers and grandfathers. Many stand a decent chance of living well into their 80s, if not reaching 90, doing so with a modicum of style. Senior years can be a time of promise, renewal, and revitalization.

This book focuses on the positive possibilities of men growing old in the United States. It seeks to develop role models for wise elders in a rapidly aging population by presenting a comprehensive approach to longevity planning: existential, emotional, physical, and financial. It’s part of my legacy to my son and future generations of men to let them know what to expect when they live to age 90 and beyond.

THE TRADITIONAL APPROACH TO RETIREMENT

The word retirement comes from the French word, retirer, meaning to withdraw. Retirement traditionally meant a withdrawal from one’s occupation or business into leisure and not being actively involved. It connoted a descent into the end of life.

The traditional concept of retirement was based on a time when guys quit working because physical demands overwhelmed them; they lacked the physical capacity and could no longer produce. They were worn out cogs not in the best physical shape when they retired and they weren’t going to live long.

For most of them, one’s work was already achieved, one’s tasks were already done, and one’s duties were already fulfilled. It was a time to give up one’s place to others. It was regarded as not an ideal stage of life. Almost nothing was expected of the elderly except to take it easy, pursue leisure activities, amuse oneself, or just do nothing.

When my stepfather, Manny, a warm-hearted, wonderful guy, retired at age 65, he did it the old-fashioned way. He saw life in a rather linear fashion: going to school, beginning to work, marrying and raising a family, continuing to work, and then retiring. On giving up his dental practice, his period of striving and aspiring ended. His new domain became the couch in front of the television. For nearly two decades, he saw retirement as a termination of productive activity, entering into inactivity and taking it easy. Retirement for him began a great coast. His life became a rather dull monotony, his days settled into an uninspiring, rather bleak procession. The powers of his mind had nothing to do. The days stretched ahead pointlessly. Although he never fell into depression, he became ever more boring to be around from his aimless days.

I often heard him say at age 65 and for years thereafter, The world is for young people. I am passed the stage of ambition; there is nothing left for me but to retire. His use of the word retire connoted a withdrawal from life. When he took on this attitude, he passed a death sentence upon himself, although he lived for two decades more. Life for him became a process of vegetation, a period of waiting for the end.

You don’t want to flunk retirement, but it’s no longer clear what’s expected of men in their old age. For some, it becomes a rather role- less time. At age 60 or 65, the life map becomes blurry. For most, the path enters terra incognita, uncharted territory. The accepted guideposts men lived by have been taken down. The familiar life script—education, career, marriage, children, the empty nest—runs out.

Many men simply don’t prepare for a smooth and fulfilling transition from their job, career, or business. They don’t have a longevity strategy. The retired Chrysler CEO, Lee Iacocca, put it this way: You can plan everything in your life, and then the roof caves in on you because you haven’t done enough thinking about who you are and what you should do with the rest of your life.¹

Your job, career, or business provided an identity, structure, purpose, and focus. It probably served as an object of personal ambition and challenge. You may even miss the simple act of performing a job you’d known for so long.

When you retire you lose far more than a paycheck. You lose a community of like-minded individuals, the camaraderie of shared victories and disappointments, a sense of power and accomplishment, and a feeling of personal identity. The relationships most of us have built are for the main part, business- or work-related. Once you retire, the lunches with colleagues, the outings don’t happen anymore. How will you fill your days? How will you use two or three decades? Being bored and having nothing to do, is debilitating, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

You probably know someone who retired in good health only to fall seriously ill soon after retirement. It’s a feeling of not being needed, of being pushed aside as the world goes by. A life of ease became a life of disease. The challenge of the corporate world followed by an abrupt cut-off in responsibility and a reason for being, often leads to a post- retirement life expectancy of twelve months or so. Charlie, the hard working senior vice president who ran a small bank, had a massive heart attack 11 months after retirement and died. He could see nothing but a void in his life. Charlie didn’t replace the satisfaction of his career with another activity that might have provided a similar challenge and lasting satisfaction.

If your capacities do not find an outlet, if your energies do not find an expression, if your creativity shrinks, if your powers of thought lose their vitality, then your enthusiasm and interest in life vanish. Left behind is a sensation of emptiness and restlessness. With nothing to do, life becomes monotonous and empty of purpose. Often facing emotional crises, even depression, such events affect more than the retiree; his family can also be plunged into upset. Physical problems mount, leading to disease and disability.

Some stop looking forward to the future. Things close in on them physically and emotionally. Eyesight is fading; teeth are falling out; hearing is receding. Movement of the body is harder. Joints begin to lock up. Memory starts to decline. Breath struggles after climbing the stairs. Emotionally they’re depressed and worn out. Suffering from one ailment after another, the highlight of their week often consists of visits to a variety of health care specialists in the quest for the latest therapies and drugs for an ever-growing list of maladies.

Ask yourself: Are the best years of my life ahead of or behind me? Are ambitions and dreams in my past or my future? What a tragedy if you think you’re just biding your time until you die and that life has passed you by.

Some retired to a life of leisure-oriented activities, such as golf. Some ate and drank their way through the country-club scene. Having deferred their gratification, they wanted to take their turn to play.

For the affluent leisure-class, retirement living became a decade- long (or perhaps two) cocktail party. Here’s the guys drill nearly every weekday, weather permitting. After breakfast at home, Marty and his three pals met at the club and conversed through the morning. At about 11:15, they began checking their watches because at 11:30 they could have their first cocktail. After one or two drinks, it’s on to lunch and a 1:30pm tee time. Then it’s home, a new round of drinks, and dinner with their wives, followed by spending the evening viewing TV sitcoms.

They did not search for and thus could not identify their inner calling. They satisfied their craving by devoting themselves to a search for pleasure be it golf or alcohol. Pleasure, they felt, would fill the gap in their life, eliminate its emptiness and give them something to live for. Most found that the fascination with a life of mere pleasure did not last because, generally speaking, a life filled solely with pleasure does not stimulate one’s spirit, it does not animate one’s mind, and it does not enrich one’s personality. Rather, a life of mere pleasure often tires the heart and stupefies the senses and faculties. A variety of even greater pleasures become necessary to make life attractive and interesting. But in the end, those who sought mere pleasure as something to live for, generally met with deep disappointment.

Feeling that their achievements were made, there was nothing left but to wait for the end of one’s days. With such an outlook on life, there was no inspiration, no ambition, and no action. Emotions no longer swayed and dreams no longer stirred. Advanced age became a period of stagnation and dreariness, a period of decline and self-resignation, a period of helplessness and wretchedness, a period devoid of effort and creation, a period in which accumulated weaknesses broke out and debilitated the body and mind.

My stepfather and his peers, such as Marty, who followed traditional retirement patterns, failed to see that one must keep on growing, otherwise one withers away. Our being does not tolerate stagnation. They became bored and then boring. Their boredom sometimes led to self-destructive behavioral patterns, such as alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse.

THE NEW RETIREMENT AND THE NEED FOR LONGEVITY PLANNING

Longevity has increased, the aging process has slowed. Men in the United States, who reach age 65 can expect to live, on average, 17.4 more years. You will have a lot of time on your hands. Don’t underestimate the length of your retirement. More and more of us will see our retirements last twenty, if not thirty, years. When you realize that your retirement will last that long you need a longevity plan for the long- term. Don’t approach retirement as you would a two-week vacation.

For most of us, the extra years can be productive, not enfeebling. With enhanced existential, emotional, physical, and financial well- being, your advanced years will be far more active and energetic than your father’s and grandfather’s lives.

Do not regard the period of advanced age as a period of rest. Do not say to yourself: I have worked enough, now I must retire and withdraw from life. Do not surrender your dreams or passions. Boredom and a sense of uselessness present huge problems in retirement.

Many are creating a new definition of retirement. I call it revitalizing. They view themselves as entering an exciting, new phase of life. They want to be productive, rather than risk being bored. As Jim, age 66, put it: I want to be useful. They have high expectations about the future and want to tap into their potential. Many want to make the transition to something new, productive, and creative. There may be second and third careers, or a series of volunteer activities. They have no desire for retirement filled with watching television or one soaked in libation.

In the revitalization process, seek balance and set aside time for fun, as you define it. You may continue to engage in outdoor leisure activities, such as golf, fishing, or boating. Or, you may want to travel everywhere, taking cruises and soft adventure trips, such as safaris.

In addition to pursuing these traditional retirement patterns, more and more baby boomers as well as retirees see that life demands that each of us, gifted with powers for action and thought, use our abilities. Retirement is changing, reflecting a more proactive mindset. We look to set new goals, to start new activities, to be involved and productive. Regularly strive to include an enjoyable activity that gives meaning and purpose to your life.

Many of us don’t equate retiring from work with retiring from life. To be productive and engage in purposeful activities, activities that provide meaning, we want to remain active, at least on our own schedule, not the 24/7 existence some had been living. We want to think less of recreation and more of re-creation. We want to be free to do what we love for as long as we’re able, often combining our weeks with both fun-filled endeavors and stimulating, productive activities . Only you can arrive at the best mix for you.

Phil, at 79, a former public relations consultant, fills his days with: creative endeavors— painting and music; learning—philosophy, foreign languages, and religions of the world; and leisure —working out daily, horseback riding, and scuba diving. Wherever he goes, the young, the middle-aged, and the very old, seek him out. The shared love for various, exciting pursuits provides a common ground. He finds that there aren’t sufficient hours in the day for all his interests and involvements. His home is filled with books, paintings, and CDs. His car is crammed with his foreign language and music CDs and tapes. In retirement, he has jammed several lifetimes into one. He expresses the familiar refrain: I am so busy. I don’t know how I ever had time to work.

The great increase in well-educated, more affluent seniors, drives, in part, the desire to remain active, engaged, and vital. Also, the perceived deficiencies in the traditional retirement patterns play a role. We don’t want to lead a life of mental irrelevance and intellectual stagnation.

By offering concisely and in one place the four pillars of well- being for men in retirement—existential, emotional, physical, and financial—, this book provides you with guideposts for fulfillment. This book will help point the way for your revitalization—a new you. It will help design a longevity plan for the life you want to live that goes far beyond the typical money-crunching retirement planning. It reflects the need for a more holistic approach to living in your senior years, integrating one’s aspirations, emotional and physical well-being, and concerns about money.

You will see how to develop: your existential, emotional, physical, and financial wellness.

Your existential wellness focuses on continued productive activity in your quest for meaning in your life. Part of your longevity plan must focus on the purpose for your retirement years.

Ask yourself: Who am I and what do I want to do with the rest of my life that may span decades? How can I discover what I want to do, not what I must do or what others are doing? What will make me happy, what will renew my energy, give me new challenges, and provide me with a sense of purpose? What would I do if I could start fresh? How can I align myself with my life’s purpose?

Some know exactly how they want to spend their time. Most, however, need to think about and discover what they want to do. It begins with each of them discovering their dreams or passions in more structured manner. They can then search out their values, strengths, motivators, and personal characteristics so they can achieve their dreams or passions. It may take years to settle on a longevity plan for the non- financial aspects of your retirement. You need to find the intersection between what you’re passionate about and what you do really well.

It is never too late to start life over again, by discovering your dreams or passions, thereby finding your life’s purpose. For most of us, the traditional retirement activities, by themselves, cannot define the meaning of our life. It is never too late to recharge one’s life. When you start over again, you live over again. A new world can stretch before you, filled with new ideas, new joys. When you start all over, you have the opportunity to be remade all over.

With good emotional and physical health, in my experience, those most satisfied in retirement are actively and regularly engaged in one or more meaningful and fulfilling endeavors—work, entrepreneurship, volunteering, learning, or creativity, in addition to the traditional retirement pursuits. However, in most cases, productive activity makes them feel relevant, needed, connected. Wanting to live life to the fullest, your reinvention can be sequential. You can continually revitalize yourself. You have so many choices; the options are wide open.

Your emotional wellness centers on being more optimistic about the possibility for positive change—the best is yet to be and looking forward to getting up in the morning, more serene by lowering your stress, anger and envy levels, and more loving and forgiving.

This book emphasizes the mind-body connection, the links between your thoughts and your emotional and physical health. If you’re in good emotional and physical health, most of your advanced years will be as enjoyable and productive as your earlier days. It will be a reasonably normal time physically, for a number of years, rather than an extended period of decrepitude. Advanced age can be a time for continued achievement and well-being.

Your physical wellness connotes managing your physical health— your body and your brain—through nutrition, exercise, and pursuing an active lifestyle.

Few of us hope merely to survive. We worry about losing our physical health and/or our mental abilities. We want to avoid disease and disability (as well as lessen the risk factors for disease and disability) and maintain high physical and cognitive functioning. Successful aging involves being physically able to maintain our independence, able to move about on our own. Whatever the genetic hand you’ve been dealt, this book will help you experience many years without infirmity or decrepitude.

We want to remain mentally alert, able to remember, to reason, to express our thoughts and emotions. Longevity is a waste if your body is healthy, but you’re not mentally alert and suffer from dementia, in one of its various forms. If the mind becomes flabby, the flesh becomes flabby. When the mind becomes weak, the body becomes weak.

Living healthfully adds years to your life and adds life to your years. You can keep yourself well and able to enjoy life far longer than you otherwise might have.

Your financial wellness focuses on implementing a sound investment and withdrawal strategy for your retirement accounts and other investments as well as leaving a financial legacy, regardless of whether you’re well-to-do, financially comfortable, or have modest savings.

A secure retirement needs a sound financial base. Many of us worry about running out of money before we run out of life. Decisions you made decades ago determine your current financial status. You’ve probably come to terms about your financial resources. This book will help you maximize them.

Financial factors play a role in longevity planning. Although money serves as a key part of any longevity strategy, it can’t be just about money. Most of us don’t want to be glued to financial news channels on television, checking markets online and trading hourly, refiguring one’s net worth every evening, another familiar retirement calling. Following the easy, straightforward approaches contained in this book, you can secure your financial well-being. You then can ask (and hopefully answer) a far more basic question: How am I going to use the extra years given to me? What will provide fulfillment and fun over the decades? You must plan for your well-being far beyond your finances.

Although most of us focus on getting ready financially, an important component of this book, you must also get ready emotionally and physically. To a degree, happiness in retirement is linked with the financial wherewithal and preparedness for whatever retirement lifestyle you want. With longer life expectancies, you must focus on the existential, emotional, and physical aspects of retirement, not merely the financial element. Although financial and estate planning is important, successful retirement preparation and implementation of a longevity strategy involves more than monetary questions. Spend as much, if not more time, thinking about your existential, emotional, and physical wellness as you do preparing for your financial well-being. Partly it’s about money, but more it’s about how are you going to structure your time and live your life.

For most of us, retirement will not simply unfold on its own. Most of us don’t have a vision, a dream for our longevity. Retirement is a blank slate. The unarticulated assumption is that once you’re there, you’ll figure out what retirement is supposed to be.

This book will help you fill the void as you prepare to retire and after you retire. Combining fun with productive activity will point the way to living to a ripe, old age.

As part of a strategic approach to an active life, what I call revitalization in all of its dimensions—existential, emotional, physical, and financial—this book will help you come up with your unique longevity plan, one that is both resilient—able to weather changes—and nimble. Recognize that your plan will evolve as you test ideas, discard things, and as your goals change.

Retirement today describes a time in your life filled with possibilities and opportunities. You will eventually retire in the traditional sense— withdraw from life—but at a much later age and in a more contemporary style with a period marked by physical and/or mental frailty and decline that hopefully will be short.

But for as long as possible, don’t withdraw, rather renew and recharge yourself. Have fun and enjoy yourself, but seek a balanced life and strive to revitalize. It’s a time for new beginnings. There is no one best or right retirement for everyone. It’s your retirement. It’s a second chance to rediscover yourself and launch a new you.

I. EXISTENTIAL WELLNESS: FIND MEANING AND PURPOSE IN YOUR LIFE SO YOU CAN BE YOUNG AT EIGHTY AND NINETY

Some at sixty-five feel old. They see themselves on the downward slope of life, anticipating weakness and inactivity, becoming irritable, discontented grumpy old men, looking longingly to the past and facing the future with foreboding or resignation. When they resign themselves to their condition or circumstance, they declare their unwillingness or inability to battle it. In their resignation, they surrender their self- confidence, their self-assertion, accepting debility and feebleness as part of their longevity. They see much dreariness in their environment, much weariness in their life.

This approach stems from the erroneous opinions they foster on themselves. It is a misapprehension of age and of human time. Sixty- five, the traditional retirement age, does not represent a landmark of old age. It does not signal the traditional weakness from one’s youthful days.

Even at eighty many can remain active, but less so. They settle into a routine, with much of the same activities as in the first phase of retirement, but at a less frenetic pace. Although the body may begin to slow down somewhat, age eighty does not necessarily mark an entrance into a state of infirmity and decrepitude. Life at eighty often continues with vigor and well-being. A new attitude can change the misconception of years, obliterating the difference between one’s advanced days and one’s youthful days.

There exists far more danger in rest then in productive activity. Your energies follow the law of supply and demand. If you do not use your energies, they recede. If you call upon them, they become replenished.

By keeping your interests in life constantly alive, you will be forever young, even at age ninety. By keeping your aspirations constantly in action, your enthusiasm aflame, and your mind at work—you will find nearly perpetual energy.

Your unique human potential can blossom. You can discover and pursue your unique capabilities. You can be active in designing your destiny in your 60s, 70s, and 80s. You can push old age out of your lingo.

Ask yourself: what do I really want out of life? What will nourish my spirit? In addition to fun endeavors, most of us want to spend our days engaged in enjoyable activities we find satisfying and absorbing. We want to fulfill our dreams, passions , and values and engage in activities we see as useful, as each of us defines it. Building on our strengths and drivers, we want