Redemption's Reach: How Far Will He Go?
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Redemption's Reach - Christina LeBron
Pray"
Introduction
March 29, 1995 was the day that changed my life forever. It was a warm afternoon. The smell of spring was on the horizon and the trees were swaying in the breeze. We were standing in the parking lot of the hospital getting ready to leave. My Aunt was speaking with Joe, our caseworker about the details of our move. I tried to listen in with the hopes I would hear her say, I changed my mind, I want to keep the girls.
I guess my imagination didn’t work that day because roll call began and it was time to load up. Jeanna, Chrissy, it’s time.
I grabbed my bag and got in the back of the car and sat tightly against the door in the backseat behind the driver. My sister, Jeanna, got in and slammed the door. The loud noise the door made as it closed, startled me and made it all real. Was this really happening? The fear of the unknown had hit me like a ton of bricks. Joe and my aunt were standing outside the door looking in as we prepared to take off. The tears began to fall as I put my hand on the window wishing she could take me back, wishing this were just a dream. My world had fallen apart and I was helpless. Joe got in and started the car and as we pulled away, their faces got smaller and smaller as I cried harder and harder. How could they take me away from the only family we had ever known? How could they give us away to complete strangers? Would I ever see my parents again? Would they come for us? All these questions flooded my mind all too fast, and I just couldn’t process anything else.
The car we rode in to our new home was an older car but it had a clean smell. The smell was distinct like an old, musky, man. Whenever I smell something similar I’m always brought back to this memory.
For the duration of the trip, the car ride was silent until we pulled up to this beautiful home. As I looked up, I thought to myself I can’t do this, I want to go home. We got out and there at the front door was a couple and their children who had been waiting for us all day. It was such a big home. We had never seen anything like this. Sure our parents took care of us but we didn’t necessarily have that much, considering the few short years we had had with them. Their home was a big two story house. It seemed kept and the landscaping looked impeccable. The driveway was long and they had a two-car garage. You could see there was a big backyard when getting out of the car. I’ve never had a backyard like this. The couple was waiting there with smiles on their faces. In most cases that would seem inviting to people. On the contrary, it made me even more upset. How could they smile when all I was feeling was pain? Although their demeanor was warm and inviting, I was scared. Any other child would be. They were strangers. I didn’t know anything about them. They introduced themselves as Joan and Jim. Then they introduced their son, Jim and their daughter, Melanie. Jeanna and I uttered our names under our breath. We weren’t interested in small talk in that moment. They invited us in. I wouldn’t go in until Jeanna went first. I was trying to hide behind her shadow because I felt it would keep me hidden. Walking through the door we entered the foyer. Light beamed through the tall windows. The large living room seemed empty as there wasn’t much furniture. I stuck to my sister like glue. I didn’t move unless she moved. I was determined not to get too comfortable. I waited for her cues. Joan invited us to sit down on the couch. I had this sense of fear come over me so I did what anyone would do in my position. I turned and latched onto my sister, the only person I had left. I thought surely she would save me from what felt like prison. In that moment I sat on the couch and held on for dear life. I just had my whole world torn from me, our family couldn’t keep us, my mom was sick in the hospital and Daddy wasn’t anywhere to be found. I couldn’t seem to comprehend what was happening and I wasn’t sure how to even cope. Joan, our new foster mother, took me next door to meet the neighbor who happened to be my age. She thought getting my mind off of the crisis that just hit us would help ease the pain. I wanted nothing to do with this new life, new friends and family so I ran out of the house as fast as I could back to find my sister. Surely this is all a dream, I thought as I ran down the sidewalk. Well what I thought was a dream was now my reality. I rushed in and sat next to Jeanna and cried. My foster mother decided I was too emotional and brought me to my new room and refused to let me be with my sister. As I kicked and cried she sat in front of the door so I wouldn’t escape. I stood over her and I pulled that door with all of my might. As I cried I couldn’t bring myself to breathe so I screamed as loud as I could, God please help me, I want to go home!
I fell to the floor and curled up in a ball and closed my eyes as tightly as possible. The darkness in this situation of my life felt like forever.
Uncertainty and hopelessness were just two of the many struggles I faced that day. I had just lost everything and now it seemed foster care was my fate. For many years, I lived with anger and bitterness because I couldn’t understand how God could choose the playing cards that He handed me. I knew there was a reason behind all of this but I didn’t have anyone to help me to find the purpose in it. Surely there had to be more to this story.
Do you struggle with a profound crisis that you experienced in your life? Has this crisis debilitated you and caused you to ask the question that has been echoed through the chambers of time—WHY GOD? No matter your race, background, culture or how you were raised, at one point or another we are all faced with that gut-wrenching question that comes from the depth of our souls and that question is Why God? March 29, 1995 was the crisis that caused me to ask that very same heart-breaking, mind altering question. Tenth Avenue North sung it well in their song titled, I Have This Hope, "As I walk this great unknown, Questions come and questions go. Was there purpose for the pain? Did I cry these tears in vain?"
I believe that many people like myself struggle their whole lives with a profound crisis. They are bound by the memory of a pain that was caused on the day tragedy hit. Maybe you lost a parent or a child or you experienced some sort of abuse or neglect. Well, I believe with all of my heart that God wants to free you today from the lies of the enemy and begin to answer every question you’ve ever asked Him. Galatians 5:1 says It is for Freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery
(NIV). I call you into freedom and may the yoke of what has enslaved you, be broken in Jesus’ Name.
Freedom looks different for many people but when Jesus frees you, it is only then that you will begin to see clearly and experience all that God has in store for your life. The great thing about our Heavenly Father is that He is the Author and the Finisher of our faith. What joy it is to know that He is the author to one of the greatest stories ever told and you are the protagonist in this story.
Many years ago, the Lord put this book on my heart to help set the captive free and to give account to the world about what the living God can do when you surrender your life to Him. How a little girl at just 9 years old who suddenly became an orphan could now walk with confidence as a child of the Most High, is only a testament of God’s mercy and grace. The best part is, God wants the very same for you. My prayer is, as you read through these pages that my story would speak to the depths of your heart and give