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2016 Presidential Election

2016 Presidential Election

Leggi anteprima

2016 Presidential Election

272 pagine
4 ore
Jan 22, 2018


The Confederacy returns to protest a Blue Party victory in the U. S. Supreme Court. The deadly Freedom Camps a euphemism for Muslim concentration camps arrive to America thanks to the Red Party candidate. New laws pass in the Confederacy as women no matter their education level, can only legally panhandle to earn a living.

Ingrid is a 17 year old who hates politics. She has to deal with Nathan her father who is a conservative. Her authentic boyfriend Ahmed constantly plays pranks on her.

A mysterious woman from a Private Military Corporation offers Ingrid a risky job stealing guns from Confederate homes, stores and anywhere in-between transporting them to the blue states.

Now Ingrid’s life is stressful as she leads the state of Texas in the Union Underground Movement against the insidious Confederacy. This is her story, a few months before and after the Confederate States of America returns to our soil.

(Word Count 71,180)

Jan 22, 2018

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Correlato a 2016 Presidential Election

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Anteprima del libro

2016 Presidential Election - I. D. Oro




I AM SITTING SHOTGUN INSIDE of a stolen van at two in the morning Laredo, Texas time.

I turn to my companion to ask, Are you sure that the information is correct Moe?

Moe nods his head as he continues to play with his cell phone, Of course it is Captain Blueberries you know that my group is never wrong about the intelligence information. Our recognizance group checked out the place for a whole week. We know the exact location of each of the glass cases within the pawnshop. I know were the guns and ammunition is stored. Just in case I also know were the safe is Captain Blueberries if you are interested.

I tell him as I shake my head, No. We do not need to take the money from the safe. Our groups main objective is to secure as many guns and ammunition for the mission. Stick to the plan Moe. We do not need to waste our time. We need to be in and out in a hurry. A van at this time is suspicious enough. We do not want the cops to find out about our thing. Stay away from the safe Moe.

I remain silent as my associate De’Vegas operates a laptop to deactivate the alarm system in the place. He is what we call an expert computer hacker. He started out committing virtual crimes, as he is the only one with a criminal record. Yes, it is sad to say but he is a personal stalker. Sexual harassment is his only crime. I guess that some women do not enjoy his advances as much as he gives himself credit for on the online chat rooms or his Facebook page. We are still not sure that Irresistible Delight is a fitting nickname for him we prefer to call him De’Vegas.

I whisper to De’Vegas nervously, Hurry up. We need to do this before the neighbors call the police. You know that vans are so stereotypical of burglary vehicles. Moe, why didn’t you just bring your Prius instead?

Moe turns to me while playing his game, For what Captain Blueberries? We are already committing a crime by stealing the guns and ammunition then breaking into the pawnshop. Vehicle theft is not going to add anything more serious to our criminal record. You know that you cannot take your personal vehicle to a crime scene. The license plates will show up in some video and they will come to look for me at home.

Pedro adds using his fake accent like the character Pedro from the movie Napoleon Dynamite again, Come on guys it’s only a car. You know that my cousin cannot steal us a Rolls Royce all the time. The police have been cracking down on car thefts here in Texas. Well Moe too many people are taking stolen cars to shops in Nuevo Laredo to dismantle them and sell the parts in the black market. Last time was more of a treat.

Moe shakes his head, "Seriously Pedro? That is just a dumb excuse that your cousin gives now. In the beginning, he was getting us Rolls Royce, Ferraris, Lamborghinis, even a cool domestic luxury car. Now it is this crap an old Chevy van from 1987. How are we going to look cool in this thing? Did your cousin steal it from a junk yard? I think that the van will break down on us Pedro. I sure as hell do not want to get in a high-speed chase like the Dukes of Hazzard in this piece of junk. They will catch us a block away from this pawnshop."

De’Vegas starts to complain, Please be quiet guys. I have to concentrate this whole thing is stressing me out. I have to decipher the password to the security alarm. I can hack into the video cameras to give them the feed from last night. Please keep the arguing to a minimum as you are only distracting me further. I have been trying to crack the password for half an hour and it is stressing me out.

Moe complains to me, Captain Blueberries why do we have this guy in our crew again? He does not seem to know what he is doing if he cannot crack the stupid password to a security system. Let me try I can crack it.

Moe takes the laptop from De’Vegas who does not even resist. Moe types in the word password and he cracks it. Moe boast as he returns the laptop, I told you that it was that simple. What kind of password breaking program do you use De’Vegas?

De’Vegas wipes his forehead, Only the best password breaking program in the universe. I will let you know that I have gotten into the website of every department of Homeland Security in America. I have hacked into the United Nations, China, Russia, and the European Union. I am a genius when it comes to breaking into computer systems.

Moe waves his hand, Just a bunch of crap. You did not break or hack into this little stupid pawnshop place. How do I know that you are telling the truth anyway? I don’t know anything about breaking into systems yet I found the password to the stupid security system.

De’Vegas says defensively, You got lucky Moe. Well that was just a mistake on their part. Nobody is dumb enough to make his or her password the word password. It is just scientifically impossible and highly improbable that someone would be dumb enough to use that word as his or her password. Even the numbers 1,2,3,4 are so out of date that it is hilarious if anybody uses that as their password anymore. Countless articles online have warned everyone to avoid the word password or the sequence of numbers 1, 2, 3, 4. Everyone has read them and complied with their advice Moe.

Moe continues to play with his cell phone, So De’Vegas, people still need to remember their password. You cannot remember a complicated password but you can remember a simple word or series of numbers. If a college baseball star can break their code, I am sure that their system must really suck. Let’s get the guns ready to break in.

Pedro laughs uncomfortably, De’Vegas it does not matter what password they use. Give him a break Moe it is all done. Quickly hack into their cameras so that they do not film us breaking in. I do not want to end up on a YouTube video. You know that I hate the paparazzi.

Moe tells him, Shut up Pedro nobody wants to take a picture of you except the Border Patrol. When they catch you they will send you back to Mexico.

Pedro says defensively, That is so rude Moe. You know that I was born here in San Antonio, Texas. Just because I have a tan does not mean that they will send me to Mexico.

De’Vegas interrupts him, Yes it’s true Pedro. The police will do racial profiling on you and me. It is all due to the color of our skin. As an African American I have to watch out for the police almost as much as you have to watch out for the Border Patrol.

Pedro crosses his arms, I am here legally. Why do you guys make so many jokes about me being an illegal?

Moe answers as he points a finger, You are the most loved Pedro. Now get your gun ready home bee.

I take my mask from my purse as I look around.

I turn to Moe, What the hell are you doing Moe?

Moe turns to me as he places the face paint on the cup holder of the stolen van, What Ingrid? I thought that we were going to wear a mask. I want to look like Space Ace from Kiss.

I shake my head as I mention angrily, No Moe. I told you to bring a mask not make a mask using face paint. How the hell are you going to take the face paint off when we finish the robbery?

Moe takes out a package of baby wipes as he places them on the cup holder, See Captain Blueberries I know what I am doing.

I just shake my head hoping that the cops do not catch us wearing stupid face paint.

I turn to Pedro who is wearing a Nacho Libre mask, Well at least you followed directions Pedro. Good. What mask did you bring De’Vegas?

De’Vegas continues quickly to work on his computer as he tells me, "A mask of President Nero. The reality superstar and creator of Stoned to Death the show that punishes all women who have had abortions since Roe vs. Wade came into effect."

Then Ben hits us with the bumper sticker slogan as he imitates the Confederate President Nero, Make America Bleed Red Again.

We all scream, Not. Go to hell Nero.

De’Vegas adds, "You are all fired from my reality show The Jobber you will never manage any of my great business interest. I will let you all know that I am the best jobber in the world. That is why I am so good at filing bankruptcy papers in courts that don’t have Mexican judges in them."

We all laugh except for Moe now who sounds jealous of De’Vegas.

De’Vegas starts to read the tweets from Confederate President Nero to us as he scrolls down on his laptop. "I finally freed us from the shackles of the United Nations you can thank me later. I want you all to watch Stoned to Death because I will punish all women who have an abortion or had one done since Roe vs. Wade. Social Security and Medicare are history but a free flu vaccine for everyone over the age of sixty is sill available at the Freedom Camps. If you are over sixty please report to the Freedom Camps before we run out of the free flu shots! The $15 dollars an hour minimum wage will destroy America that is why I changed it. Minimum wage is now $700 dollars a year in my America. The top 1% of income earners is paying too much in taxes they will now pay zero percent. Businesses need more bailouts; I am cutting their taxes to zero. I got all the nuclear weapons and I am not going to think twice before using them. Just ask Israel after I dropped three nuclear bombs on them. Free the Muslims to come to my Freedom Camps to live for the rest of their lives."

Moe complains, That is not fair Captain Blueberries. De’Vegas can’t wear a mask of President Nero because the president is white and of course De’Vegas is rather bla….

De’Vegas finishes the sentence, Is it because I am black?

Moe looks around for a while as he tries to back out some how as he continues to apply his face paint.

De’Vegas continues, Man I can wear whatever mask I want to wear to this thing. Your people have been panting their faces to pretend to be African American actors for years. I have seen you wearing a President Barack Obama mask. Why can’t I wear a mask with President Nero’s face Moe?

Moe continues to think it over as he changes the subject quickly, Did you finish with the security cameras? We cannot be here too long or they will start to suspect. Hey, Pedro are you sure about all of this. This neighborhood looks rather sketchy. I normally do not hang out in these neighborhoods close to the downtown area. Pedro what if some of your home bees do a drive by on us inside of the van? Do you have like a gang sign that you can throw Pedro? I mean so that the people from the drive bys know that we are on their side. You know home bee like something similar to ‘Viva la Raza’ or some sort of Chicano power sign Pedro. You know if we were in a place with lots of African Americans like in New Orleans where De’Vegas is from home bee. De’Vegas would have our backs with his gang signs and his Black Panther fist in the air telling everyone that we are cool in the hood. You know for the African American gangs not to do a drive by on us home bee. You got our backs right Pedro?

I tell him as I shake my head, Seriously Moe that is so racist and rude. This place is cool. I have friends who live here. Nobody is going to do a drive by on us here.

Suddenly Moe screams, Watch out there is a drive by coming our way.

Moe gets out of the driver’s seat as he dives under the seat in the middle of the van while doing a duck and cover from our school drills. I look out the window of our darkened van with a pair of binoculars as I notice that a senior citizen is driving on the street ahead of us. The car is going so slow I guess because the old man driving it cannot see a thing. He has his high beams on as he is going below five miles per hour.

De’Vegas continues to type on his computer as he says, It is all done guys you can now break into the place. I have replaced the video footage with yesterdays. I have erased every camera within a block radius of where we stand. Nobody will know that we are here. I can stay here right? You know that danger is not my thing Captain Blueberries.

I just nod my head, Make sure that you drive to the entrance to pick us up. You can be the driver for our mission.

He claps, "Hurray. I am going to be like the get away driver in one of those exciting movies. My years of playing racing games and Grand Theft Auto are finally going to help me with something."

Pedro says quickly, No way. I want to be the designated driver Captain Blueberries. You know that I dislike getting involved with anything like stealing.

Moe adds, Of course that sounds smart on your part Pedro because your whole family is involved in theft and in jail. You might as well be the only one smart enough to stay out of jail Pedro. Good for you Pedro you are not that stupid as I thought that you were. I am glad that being my best friend has taught you something important about the laws even if all of your family has been illegally in the country for years.

Pedro says defensively as drops his funny accent, Moe I will have you know that the border line crossed them they didn’t cross the border. My family has been here since Mexico’s independence in 1810.

Moe waves his hand, That is what they all say. Come on, do not be a chicken home bee. Let De’Vegas drive you drove the stolen vehicle last time.

I add, Come on Pedro we need to hurry. Nothing bad is going to happen. Moe’s cousin got the information and he knows how to do a stakeout. His cousin is part of the military. Carry the bags for me.

Pedro says to Moe, Your cousin better not fuck up Moe. I heard that they kicked him out of the military for fucking some of the other male soldiers.

Moe says defensively, That is none of your business Pedro. Just carry the bags if you don’t want to get your hands dirty.

I place on my Blue Demon lucha libre mask since it is my favorite color. We all place on our black gloves as we jump out of the sliding door. De’Vegas closes the door to the van as he waits for us inside.



ALL THREE OF US RUN to the building across the street. We hide in the shadows for a few minutes. Quickly we sneak across the street again as we go towards the back of the buildings we count the number of doors from the beginning as we spot the door to the pawn shop. The atmosphere is rather creepy as I begin to feel strange. Pedro is now picking the lock of the door as Moe starts to complain about the time saying that he thought that Mexicans were experts at picking locks. Pedro tells him to shut up as I hold the flashlight for him. I am holding his cape away from the door so that I can shine a light.

I ask him, Why are you wearing a cape Pedro?

He quickly adds, It completes the costume Captain.

I just shake my head these people are some characters. It is a good thing that I am their leader. On their own, they would have been dead after the first job. I am the thing that holds this crew together. Finally, Pedro opens the door as we go inside. There is another door now as Pedro begins to pick the lock once again. I hold the flashlight as he continues to pick the lock while I grab his cape.

I can tell that Moe is rather impatient as he adds, There I did it. I notice that he shot the lock as he pushes the door in.

We walk around in the darkness with our flashlights. Oh, crap we did not know that a dog sleeps in here. He wakes up as he barks at us. I try to calm him down.

Moe says, "I am like the Dog Whisperer on television. I will talk to him and tell him to shut up. I have watched all of the episodes of that show so I am now a trained expert. Now let me talk to him in private."

Moe goes to talk to the dog who continues to bark. Then for some odd reason he tries to pet it. The dog’s jaws snap as Moe runs on top of a glass case as he climbed from a chair nearby. The dog is barking at him.

Moe screams in a high-pitched voice like a woman, Help me Pedro. Shoot the dog. Hurry up Captain Blueberries shoot the stupid dog now. You have the best aim give her the gun Pedro you do not even know how to shoot. That is why the gangster in your hood never let you do a drive by home bee.

Pedro says defensively as he aims, I play laser tag with my cousins all the time. Let me kill him. I go to drive bys they just happen to occur at the drive thru window of Mc Donald, Burger King, Wendy’s, Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, K.F.C., and Sonic Drive In. I am the only driver with a legal driving license for the state of Texas so everyone always puts me in charge of doing drive bys through the drive thru window to pick up our food. Therefore, I always do the drive bys in all of the restaurants around here. Moe stop lying.

Pedro shoots at the dog as he breaks a few glass displays shattering the glass in them.

Moe shouts as he dances on the glass case, Watch out idiot. I just felt one of the bullets fly by my ear. That bullet almost went through my foot. Let Captain Blueberries shoot at the dog.

I take my gun with a silencer as I shoot at the dog killing it with one shot as he falls over.

Moe gets off the shattered glass case as he angrily tells Pedro, What is wrong with you? You almost killed me.

Pedro crosses his arms, I got nervous. Your aim sucks too so do not complain. I will let you know that I have improved my aim since I started going to play laser tag.

Moe points his finger at Pedro, That is a lie Pedro you suck. Anyway, nobody insults my aim because I will let you know that two of my brothers are decorated sharpshooters in the war in the Middle East. I come from a long line of sharpshooters. I am the best baseball player with the greatest batting accuracy in Division 2 and my team Texas A&M International University almost won the Division 2 championship last year. If that stupid kid had not stolen the home base we would be champions.

Pedro mentions as he holds the gun, Bunch of excuses for being a loser and a bad shot.

Moe says defensively, That is a bunch of crap Pedro. I am tired of you riding my ass at the University after our championship loss. I am also offended that you are questioning my shooting skills. You know since they legalized duels in the state of Texas and I am a southern gentleman. I will challenge you to a duel. Let me get my gun and we will go at it. The first one to scream while they bleed to death is the loser. The winner gets to walk away alive.

Pedro grabs the gun from my belt as he yells, Fine let’s start from a spot. Walk ten paces then turn around and shoot at each other.

I step in the middle of them,

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