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    Homework 2: Everything Parents Ask About School (And Growing Up)
    Homework 2: Everything Parents Ask About School (And Growing Up)
    Homework 2: Everything Parents Ask About School (And Growing Up)
    Ebook175 pages2 hours

    Homework 2: Everything Parents Ask About School (And Growing Up)

    By Queena N. Lee-Chua and Scott Lee Chua

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    About this ebook

    It is not easy being a parent today.  
    How can children handle the stresses of school? How can they learn to think critically? How can they be encouraged to read? What if children lie about their grades? What if they are bullied, or worse, they bully others? Or if they watch too much violence on media? Or if they are exposed to too much sex much too early?

    It is not easy being a child today. 
    How can children manage parental expectations? Should they junk print books? Should they have pets?  What happens when tweens fall in love? How do children deal with death and loss?

    These are but some of the twenty-five parenting and school issues that are tackled in this book. Mother, teacher, and psychologist Queena N. Lee-Chua and her son Scott Lee Chua have chosen their favorite topics from their popular columns “Home Work” and “LOL” in Working Mom magazine. After all, parents want the best for their children, and with proper guidance, children can fulfill their potential and become an asset to our world.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAnvil Publishing, Inc.
    Release dateNov 15, 2017
    ISBN9789712733185
    Homework 2: Everything Parents Ask About School (And Growing Up)

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      Book preview

      Homework 2 - Queena N. Lee-Chua

      Preface

      PARENTING IS PERHAPS the most important task we do, yet none of us have ever attended a course on parenting or taken an exam for a parenting license. We used to think that parenting skills are inborn, but in the tumultuous world of today, parents are often at a loss when confronting issues.

      How can parents help children handle the stresses of school? What happens if children (or parents themselves) want homework banned? How can children be guided to think critically? How can they be encouraged to read, not just for school, but for pleasure? How can math and science be tackled as effectively as possible?

      What should parents do when children lie about their grades? What if they are bullied? What if they bully others? What happens if they do not have time for exercise? What if they consume too much violence on media? Or if they are exposed to too much sex much too early?

      Children also have their own issues. How can they manage parental expectations? Since e-books are cool, should they junk print books? Should they have pets? What happens when tweens fall in love? How do they deal with death and loss?

      As a psychologist, teacher, and mother, I have been working with Working Mom (WM) magazine since its beginnings in 2001. Aside from serving on the Parenting Board, I started the Home Work column in 2004. Each month, I try my best to answer queries from worried parents and frustrated students, all of whom want to do their best in school, at home, at work.

      My favorite columns were compiled in the book of the same name in 2010. My gratitude to readers, since it made the National Book Store Bestsellers List.

      In 2013, Dedet Reyes-Panabi, then WM editor-in-chief, invited my son Scott to do his own column, entitled LOL beside mine. Scott was then fifteen. Dedet urged Scott to give voice to his generation, and to give his own take, as a teen, on queries from parents.

      Many parents have no idea what their children, especially their tweens and teens, are thinking and doing, Dedet said. What better way to enlighten them than to speak to them directly?

      Dedet proved to be prescient. Soon parents were emailing Scott directly, and writing letters to the editor about how much they enjoyed his column. The book you now hold, Home Work 2, contains twenty-five of the most interesting questions raised by readers, with two responses: Scott’s and mine.

      As homage to Dedet’s vision, Scott and I write our columns separately. Sometimes we do not totally agree on issues: Scott indulges in online courses, while I warn parents about the drawbacks of e-learning. I worry that parents are reluctant to do the sex talk with their kids, while Scott feels that the occasional peek at porn sites may be inevitable for curious teens. I discuss how to study smart, while Scott warns against over-studying.

      But I am happy (and relieved!) to say that we agree on major issues. Learning may not be easy, but it is highly enjoyable. Nerds and sports do match. Nothing beats a good book. Santa does exist. And we miss Grandpa very, very much.

      Scott and I would like to thank Dedet Reyes-Panabi and Leah Nemil-San Jose, former editor-in-chief and managing editor of Working Mom, respectively. Thank you to ABS-CBN Publishing, Inc. president Ernie Lopez, managing director Mark Yambot, content and editorial director Christina Lopez, publisher for books Alexie Cruz, current WM editor-in-chief Jane Kingsu-Cheng, current managing editor Rhia Diomampo-Grana, and editorial assistant Judy Ann Arias.

      Scott would like to thank Austin Chua and Michael Cootauco for sharing their thoughts with readers.

      A warm thank you to Xandra Ramos of National Book Store, and Karina Bolasco, Gwenn Galvez, and Ani Habúlan of Anvil Publishing, who have always ensured that our books touch as many lives as possible.

      Chapter 1

      Surviving School

      Enjoying school

      Kids should set goals:

      Here’s how to be strategic about it

      > My eldest child is in high school, and my youngest is in Grade Six. They seem to like school, but they say they are stressed out. I want my children to enjoy school, not dread it. What can you suggest for them to get the most out of school?

      A SUREFIRE WAY to enjoy school is for your children to enjoy learning. In order to enjoy learning, they need to study smart.

      Setting goals is integral to school success. But for things to work, goals need to be not just smart, but SMART.

      S – Specific: What do you want to accomplish? I want to get good grades is vague, so state the goal clearly: I want to get an average of 90 percent in Filipino by the end of the first quarter.

      M – Measurable: How can you measure your progress toward your goal? So far, I have received two A’s and two B’s on four quizzes. I need to work on my oral presentation, so I can maintain my average.

      A – Action-oriented: Fantasizing about high grades is fine, but they remain elusive unless you take action to achieve your goal. To do well in Filipino, I need to read and understand the assigned stories, and do homework regularly. Reading award-winning non-school books in Filipino will likely also help me master the intricacies of the language.

      R – Realistic: You need to decide whether a goal can be attained in the first place, and then figure out how much effort, time, and other resources you need to expend to reach your goal.

      When I was a freshman in college, my goal was to learn as much as I could in math and English, and do my best in other subjects. However, advanced placement classes meant solving math problems and drafting compositions every day, plus homework and papers in other subjects. I was a class officer and a member of the Math Club, and had to juggle frequent activities with schoolwork.

      I also wanted to be part of the swim team, which meant frequent practice sessions.

      I had always prided myself on time management, but there was no conceivable way that I could do everything equally well. Something had to give, and I did not want it to be my health or sanity. I also realized that college primarily meant academics, and even if I yearned to develop myself holistically, my main aims were learning cognitively as much as I could. There was no way I could sacrifice my studies, so with a heavy heart, I decided to forego the swim team.

      Looking back now, I never regretted what I did. I would never make it to the Asian Games, but I could be a mathematician.

      T – Time-bound: I want to get honors someday is not as pressure-filled as I will work for honors this school year, but the latter is way more effective. For goals to be achieved, the element of time is essential.

      How much have you achieved at a certain point? If I want a 90 percent average in Filipino by the end of the quarter, which is a month away, do I focus more on the textbook, or do I revise my term paper? If both are needed, how much time do I spend on each task?

      Studying hard is important, of course, but studying wisely is also as essential. If you cannot understand a complex topic, you have likely not mastered the concepts leading up to it. This principle holds true particularly for abstract subjects like math and science.

      Instead of reading the same pages over and over, or cursing your way through each exercise, or worse, giving up, go back to earlier lessons and master the fundamentals. Learn to seek help when needed, and remember that often, the best tutors are your peers in class who understand the lessons. Don’t hesitate to ask them for help.

      Come to school prepared, having read the texts and done the homework. Do not cram, but study steadily, way before exams. Avoid cheating, but ask for help when needed (outside exams).

      Learning new things is not comfortable, but then again, most things worth doing are worth getting out of our comfort zone for. With the proper mindset, habits, and support, learning can be enjoyed. Study hard, and also study smart.  

      Scott says

      Best lessons

      The nitty-gritty details we learn may often not matter

      in the future, but the learning processes do

      EVERY JUNE, PARENTS stampede to buy bundles of Barbie pencils inside Hot Wheels cases and Batman notebooks inside Looney Tunes folders inside SpongeBob stroller bags, in the hope that the more licensed characters appear on their children’s supplies, the more their kids will enjoy school.

      And students plod to school like the condemned, dragging their bags behind them, none the happier for it.

      Ever since kindergarten, I have always looked forward to school days. Don’t get me wrong—when summer comes around, I’m as happy as anyone to reunite with my bed for days at a time—but without siblings, interacting face-to-face with people my own age is less convenient at home. School is where my friends are, and waking up early every day was bearable because in just a few hours, I would meet them again.

      But call me a nerd, I also enjoy the main point of school—learning.

      I enjoy it when things I don’t understand make sense, when I see events in Chinese and Japanese history intertwine in cause and effect. I enjoy questioning things I had thought were common sense, when theological discussions make me rethink my spirituality. And really, everyone, even the most demotivated student, loves learning—he just doesn’t see why the things he is asked to learn in school matter to him.

      The nitty-gritty details we learn may often not matter in the future, but the learning processes do. A star football player may forget physics equations, but he applies knowledge of inertia and vectors, unconsciously. A businessman may have no need for the specifics of ancient civilizations, but techniques in analyzing documents (and the adage that history repeats itself) remain useful. Most people won’t grow up to be journalists, but everyone needs to read between the lines every now and then.

      Enjoying learning doesn’t mean I don’t get frustrated citing sources in APA format when writing the sixth page in an essay test. I would rather be dining leisurely at a restaurant instead of hurriedly gobbling chicken nuggets to get a paper done before Monday.

      Studying isn’t fun in the way that a mindless Stallone movie is fun. In movies and games, the pleasure we derive is instant (and disappears as quickly). When we master a difficult problem, what we feel is fulfillment (and stays with us for quite a while).

      For some students, that fulfillment is derived from somewhere else. My good friend Michael Cootauco says:

      I enjoy school because of extra-curricular activities, which teach values that aren’t usually taught in lessons, like work ethic, collaboration, and leadership.

      I ran and won as Student Council Batch Representative last year. I was in charge of

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