The Perfect First Mate: Recreational Boating, #3

Foreword

DEAR FIRST MATE,

Whether you are the captain doing double duty or the captain’s spouse or good buddy, know that your efforts are as critical to the operation of your ship as those of the captain’s. Like a good marriage, one job complements the other. At times it may be rough going, but meeting the challenges together makes for a strong, cohesive team. It’s taken me almost forty years to understand that things I thought I was doing for love were really for me. Through facing adversity, honing my organizational skills, and seizing the good times as if they were the finest wines, I have become a stronger, more tolerant person in every facet of my life.

Like me, you will learn that rain is only water, that Bonine calms the effects of heavy seas, and that you can accomplish the impossible if you want it badly enough. My mettle has been tested, and so will yours as your captain prods you to expand your boating excursions from daysailing to overnighters and beyond. The skills I learned in those early years have carried me through the deepest oceans. If you take time to master the fundamentals, think safety, and are conservative, the seas will always be with you. Trust your boat; trust your captain; and trust yourself. The best is yet to come!

Fondly,

Introduction

Say Hello to the Boating Life

IF YOU ARE NEW TO BOATING, you’re in for a lifestyle change. No matter how simple or luxurious your boat is, you’ll find it won’t take long to slip into the mindset of a seasoned boater. Your captain thinks and talks about The Boat to the point of embarrassment. Worse yet, you catch yourself chiming in. Nonboater friends start avoiding you. You’ll hire a neighborhood kid to mow that lawn, which is quickly becoming a hayfield, so you can spend every spare minute cramped on a boat whose entire space is probably smaller than your kitchen at home. Perhaps it’s the child in us that drives us into these cocoon-like cubbies where we feel cozy and content.

You’ll find boating brings you back to basics as you struggle with a tiny gas stove you feel fortunate to have, perk coffee over a burner the old-fashioned way, and then watch a magnificent sunrise in your cockpit holding a mug of coffee that somehow tastes better than Starbucks.

Just being outdoors will make you feel alive. You’ll glow in the warmth of the sun, thrive on the brush of the wind, be invigorated by the splatter of raindrops, and inhale fresh air like you can’t get enough. The mundane things you worried about at home seem unimportant against the backdrop of waves that seem to expand your mind forever. Oddly enough, you’ll cruise all day yet converse about nothing relevant. The hours fly.

When you aren’t aboard, you and your captain will be planning your next excursion. Your condo on the sea takes you to pretty islands and nestles you in undiscovered coves. Maybe you’ll relish the sport of boating, the heel of the sail, racing to win. Or, you’ll be content to drop the anchor and fish, dive, or snorkel. At times, you’ll want to do absolutely nothing.

The transition into the boating life seems like magic because it only gets better. It happens to all of us. You’ll become joyously slovenly. Guys tend not to shave and develop the grisly look of a derelict you’d usually avoid. Routine skin cleansing seems like a needless chore as you flop onto your berth at night without even brushing your teeth. In the morning, the bra gets conveniently forgotten. You throw on a loose T-shirt and a pair of stretchy shorts and consider yourself dressed for the day. By the time you return to civilization, you’ll want a long, hot shower and a complete overhaul before daring to venture out in public. Isn’t it grand?

When at dock, we’ve a tendency to relax. We lie around the boat and read, sun ourselves, and then go below to take naps—all those wonderful little luxuries we feel too guilty to enjoy on a Saturday at home. The only downside to this idyllic life is the extra money needed to keep your baby humming along. Marinaland is a world where it’s quickly apparent that everything you need or want for your boat costs more than you care to spend. But so worth it!

Off-season, discussions about The Boat fill cold winter evenings with the warmth of anticipation. You hunt through marine catalogs, poke about boating sites online, and make field trips to every boat show within driving distance from your home. If you and your captain are novices, you’ll sign up for boating courses and read everything about cruising you can get your hands on. Outfitting your boat becomes a winter hobby as you collaborate to make copious lists of nautical necessities, from computer software to stainless steel shackles. You’re apt to order monogrammed towels, blankets, and fender covers, and then stalk department stores searching for odd-size storage containers and tiny rugs to fit the nooks of your new home.

By the end of the first season, your boat is apt to be better equipped than your home. In fact, once it is perfectly outfitted, you’ll long for a larger boat with more storage and amenities. Hunting for the next boat becomes a pastime, as you and the captain while away time at boat shows, traveling near and far to traipse through booths and climb on and off boats you can’t afford. Talk of the next boat borders on insanity as you ooh and aah about what you don’t have, and how much it would cost to buy it.

As the seasons wear on, your tolerance for roughing it erodes to craving onboard luxuries: a flush toilet, pressurized hot and cold water, and a stove that actually bakes and broils. Visions of refrigeration dance before your eyes every time you tote that same jar of mayonnaise back and forth all summer. If you don’t have dockside power, you beg for an alternative—an inverter, a generator, or whatever will allow you to plug in your hair dryer and electric coffeepot. All manners of electrical appliances creep into your storage lockers—toasters, fry pans, microwave ovens, and heaters.

There’s a little sadness about becoming civilized on a boat. You’ll spend more time in that galley you’ve stupidly equipped with all the conveniences of your kitchen at home. No longer do you have an excuse for boater’s hair when you can shower, shampoo, and blow dry. You feel obligated to dress up a bit more because your lockers are roomy enough to hang your nice clothes and there is no excuse not to plug in an iron. It gets worse. Some boats are equipped with washers, dryers, and dishwashers. And, instead of sitting in the cockpit enjoying the stars at night, you may be belowdecks fiddling with your computer or watching a movie on TV.

In the end, all that will matter is being on the water. You will learn to cope with the hairiest situation, and then be elated when you do. For every exciting cruising moment, you’ll experience one of pure tranquility. There’s much to delight in as long as you and your crew are comfortable, safe, and well fed. It’s a great ride. Don’t be afraid of it. Get that boat loaded and let’s go cruising!

Chapter 1

What’s Your Job?

NOW THAT I’VE LED YOU down the turquoise seaway and have you dreaming of all the wonderful times you’re going to have, let’s get realistic about what it takes to be a perfect first mate. Oops, I bet the word perfect stopped you. No one is perfect or wants to be. By perfect, I mean knowing, accepting, and performing the many challenges that come along with being part of a team. Now you may be thinking: Shucks, that sounds like work. I thought this was supposed to be fun. How you choose to handle the position of first mate is up to you. You can lie back and be a deck ornament and let the captain do most of the work, or you can meet the challenge and carry your weight as part of a team. I’m expecting you will belly up to the task and do your part.

So are we good with it? You in? Great!

This is how we roll. The good news is that you’re not in charge; the bad news is that you’re not in charge. Think of your position of first mate as that of an understudy to the lead role in a play. When the head honcho isn’t around to play the part, you’re it. This means you must have the same know-how and skills as a captain, with the side jobs of being his or her gofer, as well as the mother of the ship. For example, what if the captain is seasick? (You are probably fine because you had the good sense to take precautions before you left.) Would you be able to handle the boat, as well as tend to any poor souls heaving over the side? There are always going to be what-ifs, so while your job, for the most part, may seem menial, you need to be able to take control when things go south.

Being the first mate is no job to take lightly. On commercial ships, the first mate is a paid position that comes with status. Status is good, right? And so is the money, a nice salary that comes with room and board. But as a recreational boater you already have room and board and are probably working a land job. Yet, no matter whether you are a titled first mate or have inherited the job by default, the duties and responsibilities are the same. In addition to knowing how to take over in emergencies, you are charged with the housekeeping duties, as well as the well-being of your crew. If you’re a couple—married or otherwise—the relationship you have at home is very likely to transition to how you split your duties on the boat. For example, if your husband does much of the cooking, he may take over the galley. If your wife handles the yard work, she may enjoy waxing the boat. Who does what doesn’t matter much when your boat is at dock.

Once you are under way, your first mate duties kick in. Understand that while you may not always be at the helm, you are the fuel that drives the boat, the watchdog that sniffs out a potential problem and prevents the captain from making a fool of him or herself. You sense when spirits are low and offer snacks, drinks, and words of encouragement. You stand ready to hand up a life jacket when the seas are feisty, foul-weather gear when it rains, and a seasickness remedy at the first sign of a green face. As the first mate you keep the captain afloat, and fortify him or her with the courage to manage challenges, like getting the anchor set in poor holding ground amid a snickering audience.

Being the first mate is an honor worthy of a gold medal. A good first mate is tactful, diplomatic, tolerant, sensible, and devious. So smile. You’ve got the captain by the—ears.

First Mate Duties

  Know how to handle your boat.

  Understand nautical terms.

  Obey Orders.

  Understand your captain.

  Pay attention.

  Take charge of crew.

  Keep the boat shipshape

  Stay fit.

Know How to Handle Your Boat

This is a biggie. Learn how to operate and maneuver the boat so, if for some reason, the captain is incapacitated, you can take over the helm and get the boat safely docked. Do you know how to stop the boat, go in reverse, read the instruments? When you are under way, are you familiar with the rules of the road that determine such things as who has the right-of-way in a crossing situation? Do you know the purposes of various aids to navigation, like nuns, cans, horns, and bell buoys? Can you read the chart so you can stay on course to your destination and avoid a collision? Can you pull into a slip, pick up a mooring, or drop anchor? Gaining these skills takes time, focus, and experience. Once you acquire the first mate position, don’t wait. Get thee to boating classes and on-the-water training sessions. Practice, practice, and practice until managing the boat becomes instinctive.

Understand Nautical Terms

As you learn the proverbial ropes, you will no doubt acquire knowledge of what I call boatspeak. Boating, you’ll find, has its own language. If you are a newbie, many of the terms will be unfamiliar. Do your best to remember those that are critical to the operation of the boat, so when the captain shouts out an order you’ll know what he or she means.

I’ll never forget our first time on the water. With a flourish, we got our brand-new 27-foot Buccaneer off the dock. It was smooth motoring until my captain decided to hoist the sail, using the nautical terms we’d been studying all winter. As I’d never put the words to practice on a real boat, I had yet to connect the terms halyard, shroud, and mainstay with the lines in my hand. The critical time lost while I figured out which line controlled what caused our boat to lurch in a jibe. The boom slammed across, nearly sweeping my husband off the boat.

Our three kids, who were belowdecks playing a board game, screamed in terror. The lesson learned was don’t toss out nautical terms like candy unless the recipients know what you mean. Although nautical terms are important to understand and learn, they shouldn’t be used at the expense of good communication. See the Glossary I’ve included at the back of this book.

Obey Orders

There is a longstanding tradition of a captain’s word being law. On commercial ships, this is indeed the case. No court will acquit anyone who disobeys a direct ship-handling order. The bottom line is that on a boat there can’t be two captains. Think about the conflict there might be in decision-making. The time lost doing the one-up thing. On a family vessel, however, the decisions about navigation, sail handling, and the like are hopefully reached by mutual consensus. Still, everyone on board must recognize that in emer­gencies, when the ship is threatened and fast action is critical, someone must be in charge—no questions asked. That person is the captain.

Understand Your Captain

Since the safety of the vessel and crew are dependent on a captain making good decisions in every circumstance, it’s important to be sensitive to his or her emotions and personality traits. All bluster, no bite? The silent type that forgets to communicate? Lots of on-the-water experience or none at all?

If the captain is tired, stressed, or feels insecure about reaching a destination without wrecking the boat or having someone injured, he or she is apt to take it out on the person he or she trusts most. You. Try not to take any yelling or foul language aimed in your direction to heart. Be calm, understand the situation, and respond quickly and as best you can to the captain’s concern. You can plan your payback once you’ve bypassed the problem and argue about who is right later. As you gain experience, the two of you will become a well-oiled cruising machine that operates in synchronization. The yelling fits will subside. Do as you are told, as long as it’s reasonable.

Pay Attention

Sure, it’s nice to catch a few rays—and maybe even nod off while the captain mans the helm. Yet, it’s easy for him or her to miss potential problems, such as approaching squall lines, a boat wandering across your path, or a nest of fish pots that could tangle in your propeller. When you are aboard, make it a point to assist the captain in observing the seas and the skies around you. Should you be at the helm with the captain napping, pay close attention to your instruments to stay on course, and watch for obstacles. Make it a point to occasionally do a 360-degree scan of the surrounding waters for boats under tow, barges, or a powerboat at top speed that could throw the mother of all wakes as it passes you.

Take Charge of Crew

As first mate, you answer only to the captain while taking charge of any remaining crew, who may be your four-year old toddler, a reluctant teen, your mother who wanted to come along for the ride, or the dog who just peed on the deck. Delegate jobs and make sure they are performed correctly. This could mean coaching your oldest son on picking up a mooring or asking for help preparing a meal. When you are under way, keep the kids, guests, and good buddies along for the ride under control and make sure everyone aboard has what he or she needs to be safe, comfortable, and possibly entertained throughout the trip.

Keep the Boat Shipshape

Space is tight on a boat. To maintain a safe environment it’s important to make certain the boat is kept neat and items stowed. Loose objects and debris can go flying with a surprise lurch of the boat, and objects in walkways can be hazardous. Insist everyone keep their personal space tidy, with everything put away. Many hands make light work, so seek help.

Stay Fit

As first mate, you are most likely the deckhand, which means you may be at the bow lying on your stomach to pick up a mooring or hopping off the boat and onto the dock to secure a line when coming into port. If you are lucky enough to have grown children aboard, you may have help with this.

Chapter 2

Learn the Ropes

NOW THAT YOU ARE TOTALLY intimidated by this first mate job, let’s help you build confidence so you can rest easy knowing that should an emergency arise you will be up to the task. To accomplish this, combine book learning with practice. By this I mean taking boating courses and getting comfortable operating your boat.

Feeling confident is important. Build your self-confidence by getting educated. Learn simple boat-handling strategies and why and when precautions are in order. If your captain is the strong, in-control type, like mine is, the feeling of security he or she exudes could prompt you to rely on him or her too much. Ask me, I know.

When we first started out, I was content to sit back, relax, and be the go-fetcher. I seldom took the helm, or any major responsibility for that matter, so I always felt incapable—a common scenario amongst first mates who don’t take a full share of the load. Once we realized how incompetent I was, my husband made a special effort to get me involved. He even relinquished the helm to me and insisted I navigate a few hairy passages. Now, many years later and with many ocean miles to my credit, I’m glad I took the time back then to learn how to control our boat under sail or motor power and in a variety of sea and weather conditions.

Do You Need an Operator’s License?

You need a license to drive a car on the highway, so it makes sense that you might need a license to drive your boat. Some states require boating safety certification for operators of any motorized vessel, even small watercraft like dinghies and Jet Skis. All it takes is completing either a one-day class or an online boating safety course. Boating rules and regulations vary from state to state. To find out if you need this certification, ask your boat dealer or insurance company, or check online at www.americasboatingcourse.com/lawsbystate.cfm.

Beyond Certification

The brief class required for certification barely touches on the basics. If your boat is larger than a dinghy or a Jet Ski, you’ll need to go deeper into the rules of the road. In case you aren’t familiar with the term, it refers to the body of navigational dos and don’ts put together in a document published by the United States Coast Guard (USCG) called Navigation Rules. These rules are intended to help commercial and recreational boaters travel the waters safely and comfortably. They apply to everyone, and are strictly enforced by the water cops, aka the USCG. If you didn’t receive a copy in your boating class, you can buy the booklet at a marine store or download it online at www.navcen.uscg.gov/?pageName=navRulesContent.

To extend your knowledge, sign up for one or more comprehensive boating classes. Classes range from basic boating safety to advanced navigation and encompass such skills as boat handling, reading the weather, and electronic navigation. While you’re at it, take along any family members who are old enough to take on crew duties. Some classes are specific to children, such as the USCG’s Water ‘N’ Kids.

The most popular basic courses generally have from six to thirteen lessons and provide a good foundation for operating a vessel, along with safety instruction. Qualified volunteer organizations, such as the USCG Auxiliary and the US Power Squadron, sponsor boating courses at all levels throughout the country for recreational boaters of all ages either in classrooms or online for home study.

By physically attending one of the many fine classes offered in your area, you’ll not only meet other boaters at your experience level, but will be able to ask questions of a live instructor. If you have a busy schedule, you can squeeze in time to do this online at your convenience. However, I feel that while the course content and testing may be the same as classroom learning, it’s the equivalent of steering your boat by remote control. Find a listing of boating organizations that provide classes in the Appendix.

Hands-on Training

It’s important to know how to handle the helm. Do you have a tiller or a wheel? Are you comfortable shifting gears forward and in reverse? Can you maneuver the boat into a slip? Do you know how to approach a mooring or anchoring spot? Can you stop the boat in an emergency? You may know some of these maneuvers, be proficient in all of them, or be a total newbie. Proficiency comes with experience. If you don’t take a turn at the helm frequently, you’re liable to freeze when an emergency occurs and you must act.

While you are in learning mode, don’t forget about the dinghy. Most have a tiller, which operates differently than a wheel. Someone once told me to push the tiller the way you don’t want to go as a way to remember how to steer. Being able to operate the dinghy will give you independence. Often, running the dinghy is a child’s first experience at the helm of a boat. Take the time to teach them how to drive safely, then practice, practice, practice.

If you find your captain isn’t the right person to teach you how to operate the boat or manage the sails—maybe he or she has no patience or is so paranoid you get nervous and screw up—ask a friend or hire a private instructor to take you out either on your own boat or theirs. Several organizations offer onboard, on-the-water instruction, which is key to being comfortable performing all aspects of boating from start-up to docking. These are wonderful for building self-assurance and skill. Some are specifically designed for women and children, or for power or sail.

To find hands-on training in your area, ask your boating class instructor or check with your local marina for recommendations. Be sure to get references! You can also search online for instruction offered in your area. For power boat instruction, check with www.uspowerboating.com/find-a-course/?gclid. For sailing instruction, many local sailing organizations offer affordable lessons, and some offer special programs for disabled or elderly sailors. To find a program near you, Google the name of your town along with community sailing.

If you already know how to handle your boat but want to seek adventure on the open ocean—say you long to make a passage from chilly Boston to the warm Virgin Islands—take some advanced courses to prep you for the experience. Lengthy trips are often conducted aboard a sailboat because there’s no fuel station mid ocean. Several excellent schools offer week-long live-aboard cruising and sailing courses, or get in touch with US Sailing or the American Sailing Association to find training courses near you.

Can You Swim?

This may seem a silly question because most of us at some point in our lives have had swimming lessons, or at least learned how to stay afloat without being buoyed up by an inner tube, noodle, or water wings. While it’s easy to feel protected when you are sitting atop your fiberglass tower of a boat, the reality is you could be thrown overboard by a passing wake or simply slip on a wet deck and end up over the side. If you haven’t had the opportunity to learn to swim, get a friend to teach you or take lessons from a professional swim instructor. This goes for any other family member who has never learned to swim. You are never too old or too young to learn.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but although I had plenty of swimming lessons, I never felt comfortable in the water. My issue was never the mechanics of swimming but the panic I felt whenever I realized I couldn’t touch bottom. Yes, think flailing arms