I Love an Addict: How to Find Hope, Healing, and Happiness through Christ
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About this ebook
Be uplifted and find the power to step out from under the heavy weight that rests on you. Supporting an addict is difficult and painful, but, because of Christ, it does not have to be. By following His example, we can support our addicts better and help them to recover. Christ’s teachings can help us understand how to help the addicts that we love, because He loves them too.
An important part of supporting an addict, however, is to take care of ourselves first. You cannot light another’s candle if your own is out. It can be painful and scary to have an addict in the family, but it doesn’t have to be because of the perfect atonement. Christ gave us the gift to be cleansed from our own sins AND to endure the sins of others.
We were given the ability to forgive so we can heal. You can tap into that healing if you lean on the Savior, the one who has the ability to forgive, and love, every sinner.
“I Love an Addict,” will guide you to those gifts that Christ wants you to have. It will also help you decide how to handle your loved one’s addiction, and teach you how to find the strength to endure this trial.
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I Love an Addict - Malena Lovall
I Love an Addict by Malena Lovall
How to Find Hope, Healing, and Happiness through Christ
Copyright © 2017 Malena Lovall, All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electrical, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written permission from the author, who may be contacted by email: Lovallbooks@gmail.com
The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints.
No liability is assumed by the author for any damage or error that may result from the information given in this book.
Sources used include:
The HOLY BIBLE, King James Version
The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ
The Doctrine and Covenants
Bruce C. Hafen, Covenant Hearts: Why Marriage Matters and How to Make It Last, page 63, published 2005, © Deseret Book Company. Used by Permission.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf, In Praise of Those Who Save, April 2016 General Conference. Used by Permission.
Contents
Letter from the Author
Introduction
Agency
Responding to a Relapse
Forgiveness
Coping for Yourself
Protecting the Relationship
Battle Plans
Triggers
Faith to Endure
Dear reader,
I hope this book finds everyone who needs it. I know that many people have qualms with the word addict,
but I hope you understand that it does not have to be a label of hate or incrimination. Like patient,
client,
or customer,
it is simply a term to describe a person by what they are doing, not by who they are.
While the addict I love is my husband, this book is not exclusively for spouses. It offers support for anyone who loves an addict, whether you are an addict’s parent, spouse, child, sibling, or friend. I hope that this book can help everyone who needs it, because addiction hurts everyone involved.
I am so grateful for the amazing support I have had. Especially to everyone who was a part of the launch, editing, and early reading of this book! I will leave out their names to protect their anonymity, but am grateful for each of them just the same. I also want to thank everyone who makes the Addiction Recovery Program and its different classes possible. It has saved my marriage. Thank you!
It is my deepest wish that you can find help and hope among these pages, but everyone has different needs. I am not a medical professional, I do not know everything, but I have learned a lot from my own experiences as we’ve battled my husband’s addiction. I never studied counseling professionally, but I know many of the feelings you are having because I have had them too. I hope and pray that this book can provide what you have been searching for. You are on the right path by trying to learn more. It will get better, just keep going!
Love you all, find a reason to smile today!
Introduction
My husband’s addiction was rooted in his childhood. Looking back we can see that, but it wasn’t always obvious. There were small instances in his past, but it was not a serious problem until we had our first child. That is when the nightmare came to life. Having a child is supposed to be tender, beautiful, and sweet, but this is found more often in movies than in real life. The reality of having a baby is hard, painful, and scary. When we had our son, there was no sudden wave of intense love that swept over us. Instead we were hit by a wave of exhaustion.
We love our son very much, but that love never came the way it is portrayed on our televisions. This caused even more stress for us on top of the smelly diapers and lack of sleep. The extreme changes and stresses that came with a new child pushed Travis so hard that he broke.
I had no idea that Travis had started a terrible addiction. He didn’t tell me until four months later. Then, we were given a