Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore
    An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore
    An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore
    Ebook104 pages1 hour

    An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore

    By Austin Hahn

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore is literary ecstasy! Whether you enjoy a good laugh, a disciplined approach to research, or exploring visceral sensation through literature, you won’t be disappointed. There’s something for everyone. Hahn is sure to leave readers at the edge of their seats brimming with anticipation. His work falls short of anything but emotional depth and intensity. An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore is an esoteric composition of healing, reincarnated knowledge, and spiritual insight that plunges into the human body and psyche, leaving no stone unturned.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAustin Hahn
    Release dateJul 2, 2017
    ISBN9781370250400
    An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore
    Author

    Austin Hahn

    Austin B. Hahn is a writer who’s fascinated by alternative medicine, comedy, death, love, politics, psychology, and sexuality.

    Related to An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore

    Related ebooks

    Anthologies For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      She Wants You To Know

      Jul 20, 2022

      It was the late 1990s and I was in sixth grade, when I first fell in love. Or whatever you want to call it at that age. His name was Peter T and he was everything I’d ever envisioned falling for. That is, after seeing the back of his head five-hundre

      4 min read

    • Article

      SOBER Sex

      Feb 16, 2020

      SOBER Sex
      7 min read

    • Article

      Chivalry ain’t dead

      Apr 15, 2021

      Chivalry ain’t dead
      5 min read

    • Article

      The Gay Guidebook

      May 31, 2021

      The Gay Guidebook
      4 min read

    • Article

      Love

      Apr 2, 2020

      In any long-term relationship there are days when smothering your beloved in their sleep may cross your mind. This, however, is quite extreme and not (usually) recommended. But what the heck happened? How did you get from angels singing every time th

      3 min read

    • Article

      Your Own Worst Enemy

      May 8, 2019

      Your Own Worst Enemy
      7 min read

    • Article

      Vintage filth

      Nov 26, 2021

      “Fear and ignorance go hand in hand. As a young woman I didn’t really know how queer sex might unfold and a consequence of this was that I was really scared of doing it… I wish that I could flit back in time and whisper encouragement in my ear. I’d t

      5 min read

    • Article

      Hot Like Fire

      Oct 13, 2022

      Hot Like Fire
      8 min read

    • Article

      Your Dilemmas

      Feb 22, 2024

      International Executive Coach of the Year, Jo Emerson, answers your questions. Listen to her podcast Tell Me Who You Really Are on your preferred platform now. Jo’s new email course can help you build confidence – visit jo-emerson.com. Grab her book,

      3 min read

    • Article

      Face Time With Terry McMillan

      Mar 27, 2020

      Face Time With Terry McMillan
      5 min read

    • Article

      Q&A: John Moe

      May 1, 2020

      Why this book? I lost my brother to depression and suicide after he had spent a lifetime struggling in silence, too ashamed to get help. At his service, it dawned on me that these are issues that have a chance of getting better if people can talk abo

      2 min read

    • Article

      No Joking Matter

      Dec 29, 2021

      No Joking Matter
      4 min read

    • Article

      Breakup Checklist

      Sep 23, 2022

      Before we start, I want to include a note.This may be hard to read if you are a white person. I urge you to take a pause if this makes you feel defensive, angry or upset and reflect on why.Then read this again.Then talk about it and read it again. I

      2 min read

    • Article

      The Perfect Man

      Jun 20, 2023

      The Perfect Man
      5 min read

    • Article

      the MAN SHOW

      Aug 3, 2023

      the MAN SHOW
      5 min read

    • Article

      Not All Superheroes Wear Capes

      Jul 20, 2022

      Not All Superheroes Wear Capes
      7 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore - Austin Hahn

      An Anthology from an Ethereal Whore

      Austin B. Hahn

      Copyright 2017 Austin B. Hahn

      Distributed by Smashwords

      Smashwords Edition, Licensing Notes

      This ebook is for noncommercial and personal use only. This ebook may not be redistributed or resold. If you would like to share this ebook, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this ebook and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer, and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Dedication

      To all those who I have ever loved,

      love,

      and will love.

      *A note from the author: Over several years, I had written material without any intention of compiling it into a book. In 2015, when creative energy began to pour out of me while I was writing my tribute to comedy legend Joan Rivers, who died in September of 2014, I had an epiphany.

      At some point in our lives, we discover our personal power, or we never do. Mine came through writing. The written word allowed me to reach below the consensual surface of life without interruption or judgement and enabled me to transmit my knowledge that I was forbidden to communicate in everyday conversation onto paper.

      I write to bring taboos to light and to transform outdated modes of thinking in hopes of contributing to the collective consciousness of humanity. Without any record of my material, my efforts are merely futile, so here is my attempt to immortalize my work. Enjoy.

      Contents

      Comedy

      How to Get Over a Bad Ex-Boyfriend

      A Tribute to Joan Rivers

      The Butterfly on the Wall

      A Moment with Austin/Un momento con Austin

      Autocorrect Error

      Attention Hunty Huntikins!

      Meet Harold and Maratha

      Harold and Martha: A Phone Conversation

      Drill Sergeant

      Communication

      Intercultural Communication

      Knowing Your Cultural Identity

      The Power of Cultural Influence on Communication

      Words, Words, Words

      Death

      I’m Moving On

      For Selena

      Thank God for Death!

      Impermanence

      Happy New Year!

      Love

      An Ephemeral Reverie

      Thoughts Before I Sleep

      Hooray for Love!

      There Are Loves/Hay Amores

      I Am (Part I)

      At the Edge of the Rooftop

      An Insatiable Desire

      Medical

      Acupuncture in the American Medical System

      For Sufferers of Interstitial Cystitis

      Reality

      Appraisal Means Nothing

      Pretty Has It Hard

      Old Souls

      Contradictions

      When Will We Care?

      Fear

      Karma

      Reports

      Abortion

      What is Critical Thinking?

      U.S. Values That Need to be Revamped

      Outro/I Am (Part II)

      Comedy

      How to Get Over a Bad Ex-Boyfriend

      Honeyyy, are you finding yourself all alone again for the holidays, (like last year?) Well, truth be told: I wouldn’t know what that’s like. HOWEVER, what I can do is offer you my advice, but listen up bitches: this isn’t just another How to Guide written by some self-proclaimed dating expert or psychologist, (who the fuck do I look like, Dr. Phil???) This is some plain good ol’, straight up, skip the bullshit advice. If you’re looking for sympathy, you’re better off making an appearance on Oprah. I have to warn you: if anyone has already been, is, or is going to be offended, then I suggest that you FUCK OFF. Thank you!

      For some people, getting over a boyfriend can be just as hard as getting under one. Fortunately, for hos like me, that’s not difficult. Clingy Claires, Needy Nancys, and Two-Ton Tommys, if you’re missing your ex, here are some steps that you can take to improve your aim:

      1) Eat your feelings.

      That’s right! Go to the kitchen and find whatever you like that you can get your hands on. No one has ever complained after eating their favorite treat. Bitches from Jenny Craig might say they feel guilty afterwards, but I beg to differ. Just look at Kirstie Alley; when was the last time you ever heard her say no to a box of chocolate donuts? You want something to distract you from thinking about your horrible break up??? Then go eat something deep fried, smothered in chocolate, and sprinkled with powdered sugar. I’m sure it tastes better than your ex-boyfriend.

      2) Don’t go to bed angry; STAY UP AND PLOT YOUR REVENGE!!!

      If there’s any solution to a bad break up with a guy that cheated on you and screwed your best friend, then this is it. First of all, don’t go to your mom’s house, and then write that asshole some piece of shit e-mail about what you learned in the relationship. Because boo boo, let’s be honest: the only thing you probably learned was that his mother should’ve swallowed the load when she had the chance. Writing a five-page e-mail is basically giving him a long ass letter of recommendation that he can use as a reference for future dates, and you don’t want that. Instead, try something unorthodox such as: taking one of your friends out at two in the morning and fucking up his car. Jackass players will cross you off their list of potential dates, and the message will become clear to your ex: you shouldn’t have fucked with me!

      3) (Ladies) Tell your girlfriends he’s gay.

      As unconventional as this step might seem, believe it or not ladies, it actually works. It’s humiliating when someone cheats on you, and you don’t want to have to go through the heartbreak all over again as you explain to your girlfriends what happened. What’s more, chances are that if he cheated on you, he’s likely going to try to bang your best friend. To prevent him from moving on to his next victim, you HAVE to make him undateable. Telling everyone he’s a sore loser and he’ll never find someone as good as you isn’t conducive to successfully making him undateable. You have to be creative. Say that you caught him in bed with another man, and after discovering his attraction to men, you realized why you two were having relationship problems. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT be bitter when stating this. It’ll become obvious that this is a total bullshit lie, and no one will believe you; however, if you speak calmly and maintain your composure, then your friends will be more likely to believe you. Remember: you’re saving your friends from making the mistake of dating this asshole, so in essence, you’re doing them a favor. After your girlfriends express their sympathy, (i.e. Oh honey I am sorry to hear that. How awful . . . etc.), tell them that everything is okay, and there’s no resentment between you two, even though there might be, and that it was probably just as hard for him to deal with his sexuality. Make it a point to your girlfriends that you’re one of the few people who know, and you don’t want them to say anything to him. This will surely make him undateable. He’ll be as unwanted as Tommy Lee’s STDs.

      4) Go out and bang someone else!

      There. I flat out said it. Be a ho! Get a little 50 shades. It’s time to get rid of those cob webs between your legs. (Gays . . . for some of you this might mean reinstalling Grindr on your iPhone.) No one ever told you, I regret that orgasm. There are plenty of people in

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1