My friend, My Ally, My Enemies

CHAPTER 1

IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT DRE

They say keep your friends close and your enemies closer. But if that's true, why do your friend become your enemy and sometimes your enemy becomes your ally? When the people that are closest to you causes you the most harm. Cousin set up cousins, brothers kill brothers, drugs being sold, sons to their mothers and people getting murdered by the people they know. Greed is a sin. Sometimes I feel like it's a curse. Then the wannabe gangsters become snitches. They're protected by the once original gangsters who were respected by most people. Damn, how did the rabbit get the gun?

I guess it started when I was a kid. I had to be about twelve or thirteen and things were changing then. Some of the biggest gangsters were moving about the city. Me being a young kid at the time fascinated about the street shit. It didn't dawn on me that all the glam and glitter came with a price. The price was murder. Be killed or spend the rest of your life in jail. When I truly understood what the street shit had to offer, it gave me a high. A high I couldn't explain, but I wanted more and as my status grew, so did my high.

I know everybody says they got in the game because they wanted a better life for someone they love. Whether it be your children, Cousins, brothers, mother. Whatever your reason for getting in the streets, my shit was different. I wanted to be like all the other niggas I knew out there, wanting mad respect, the cars, the women, the clothing. I wanted people to fear me. When I was nineteen this lady said I had an evil soul and probably won't live to see twenty-one. I laughed about it. Then I told her, I guess her sons Jerry and Jimmy had evil souls. Because they both were killed the same day her house was set on fire.

They say what goes around comes around. So I guess when her sons killed my homie Dusty this past winter, she said he got what he deserved. He shouldn't be putting his hands on her daughter. Somebody felt the same way about Dusty. Shit was funny because these niggas Jerry and Jimmy wanted to get stripes of Dusty. So they murdered him about a nothing ass bitch. Tiffany should have kept her mouth close talking to the police about a murder she really didn’t even see. Now both her brothers are dead and she's living her life out in a wheelchair.

When the bitch Tiffany talked to the police about me and how she heard I was supposed to have killed her baby father Twine. I told Dusty to leave that whore alone, a long time ago. Twine would be alive. Dusty would be alive. Jimmy and Jerry would be alive and she wouldn't be living in a wheelchair. All this shit over a chick with no loyalty. Cheating as bitch. Shit is like a revolving door. Twine shot Dusty. I killed Twine. Tiffany snitched on me. Dusty whips Tiffany’s ass. Tiffany brothers kill my homey Dusty, then I cleaned both of that bitches brothers clock jimmy and Jerry for my homie Dusty.

Me and Dusty been hanging together since I could remember Shit, like pre-K or something like that. Anyway, I've been on the streets since I was twelve years old or should I say since my mother overdosed off of heroin. I was living with my grandma and she ran a speakeasy selling drinks and cigarettes. One night my grandmother was doing pretty good. I knew because she always told me to hold and count the money. On check night she would bring in her biggest bankroll, sometimes more than a thousand dollars. Old man Mr. Williams would be up all night with my grandma. He ran a number writing business in the neighborhood.

They grew up together or something like that. Mr. Williams was one of the nice guys always helping people in need from around the neighborhood and there was a lot of people in need. He would always look out for me. He would always try and talk to me about school good grades. He would say don't get yourself in trouble and stuff like that. He always told me to learn how to count and never trust too many people. He was one of the good guys. Oh back at my grandma’s house, her, Mr. Williams and a few other people we're playing cards. There was a knock at the door. So I opened it thinking it was a person that wants to buy a drink, but two guys rushed in and pulled out guns. One of the guys hit me over the head with his gun. Then told my grandmother to give up the money or everybody in here will get kilt. She gave them the money and the two guys left.

Mr. Williams was pissed and told my grandma she needed to be more careful. They could have killed us. Then he looked at me and told me it wasn't my fault. Stuff like this is a part of life and you must be prepared for things like this, but he thinks he knows who the two guys are and then he left. A few hours later, Mr. Williams came back and gave my grandma the money that was stolen from her and said he'll talk to her later. That same night, the two guys were killed. Their picture was on the news saying the car that the two dudes were in was riddled with bullets and they had no suspects.

I guess Mr. Williams knew the two dudes after all. I heard the stories about Mr. Williams. My grandmother told me it started when he was only 14 years old. I guess the stories are true about Mr. Williams. The two guys must have thought me and my grandma was home alone. So they wanted to rob her. However, they didn't know Mr. Williams was there. From that night I learned a few things about life. I wanted to be feared. I wanted money and what do I need to do to get it. My grandma wasn't a violent person, but she was friends with Mr. Williams. I see now why Mr. Williams was a nice guy because he was also a dangerous guy.

I was on some Mr. Williams shit. I wanted to be feared. That's when I made up my mind, nobody is going to hurt me or my grandma again. Imma hurt the niggas first. I know where my grandma hides her gun. She never uses it. So I took it and kept it. I was about thirteen at the time. Everywhere I went, I stayed strapped. In the school, at the playground, it didn't matter where I went. I was waiting on a nigga to trip. After I heard the stories about Mr. Williams, the shit was about to get real, real quick.

Shit crazy... when you don't be looking for trouble somehow it finds you. I was at the playground on the basketball court trying to learn how to play basketball. Then this old dude started talking shit about how I didn't know how to play. He was on some other bullshit, so I called this nigga a pussy and he told me he'll slap the shit out of me. I told him he put his hands on me he won't be putting them on nobody else. Funny thing was I didn't have the gun with me. Anyway dude got off of the bleachers and walk over to me and tried to put his hands on me. So I punch the shit out of him and then he blacked my eye. The joker was about twenty-eight or some shit like that. I was only fifteen at the time. People told the nigga he could go to jail for putting his hand on a minor, but I had other plans for this nigga.

Even though almost two weeks has passed, I still didn't forget what that dude did to me. Now almost a month went by and I still can't find this joker that black my shit. I have been riding my bike all around the neighborhood and still can't find him. I was upset with myself because I always kept the gun on me. But I was at the playground trying to learn how to play basketball. Fuck basketball if I wasn't playing that shit, I would have had my gun. Anyway I was looking for this joker and couldn't find him. So I gave up because it was getting late and I saw a lot of Cops Park on every corners searching people for no reason. So I took another way home, as I spent out the little block. I see dude sitting on the steps with another kat drinking beer. First I rode pass him, then I spent back around and jump off my bike. When I walked up to the nigga, he didn't even remember who I was.

I told this joker, I was the kid he punched in the face two weeks ago. He said some fly shit, asking me did I want to fight again on some stupid shit. I made him get real smart, real quick when I bust my gun. I never saw a nigga apologize a hundred times in 2.1 seconds. So I ripped on this jokers. I was going to rip on the other dude. But he started bitching and yelling that he didn't see shit. He said he didn't have anything to do with it and he didn't want to die. Then he pleaded on me he has little kids. I wasn't scared, but I was nervous. The shit felt good. I see why niggas be busting their guns. I jump back on my bike and went home. That night it felt like a weight was lifted off me.

I sometimes be seeing the other dude that was sitting on the steps with the nigga that I R.I.P. You know the one that black my shit. Every time he sees me, he turns his head and walks away. One day I was at the corner store and he walked in the store and saw me, it was like he’d seen a ghost. He looked at me funny. So I left out the store and waited for dude to come out. When he came out, I called him over to see if everything was cool. He was on some do I know you from somewhere time. So I understood what he was telling me. He didn't see shit. So I let the nigga ride. I should have cooked the nigga (killed him). But I gave him a pass, but that's the last time I was gonna let a nigga slide.

On my way to the playground, I saw my homie Dusty. I haven't seen him since school been out. He told me he was at his aunt’s house for two weeks, because his mom was real sick and she was in the hospital for a while. So he stayed up his aunt’s crib with his cousin. I never asked him what his mom was in there for. I just asked him she was cool. I was glad everything was good with her. He told me she came home two days ago and the doctor said she'll be okay. So then he told me he heard I was fighting an old head a few weeks back. Then he said, what the hell I was doing at a basketball court? I told him, I wanted to learn how to play basketball. Because the chicks love niggas that can run the ball and I couldn't play for shit, when I told him that. He said he also heard some old head punched me in the face and now old head dead, we laughed about the shit and said oh well fuck him.

My grandmother gave me my 16th birthday party, it was a bunch of old people there. It looked like a party for her, I really didn't have any friends but Dusty and Jared. We been cool since we were like five or six, our birthdays are about two weeks apart. He's two weeks older than me, he told me he was my old head. Imagine that my grandmother gave me a PlayStation for my birthday, I'm the only kid in the neighborhood with one. My homie Dusty would come and we’d play for hours or until Ellen got tired of us playing, then she'd tell us. If we kept playing that shit, we were going to go blind. Then she’ll tells us to take our asses outside and play, she'd tell us to go find some trouble to get into or do anything. But just stop playing that god damn game.

When I did hit the streets. I took my gun with me. I didn't know at the time, when you catch a case with your burner (gun) you supposed to get rid of the shit. I must have kept it the whole winter before I seen this movie on the television, they were talking about. How dude was supposed to have gotten rid of the evidence (gun), I was tripping not knowing that shit. I took it down to the scrap yard where they melt the iron and metal, when old head lonesome wasn't looking. I tossed my shit in with the rest of the metal, when he came back from out the office, He asked me what I did, he said I had that look on my face like I've done something sneaky.

I was holding a bull shit conversation about how hot the broilers get, because it looks like it could melt anything. Then he told me I should know it can melt steal, because he just seen me toss a gun in there. Then he told me to tell Billy he asked about him and wanted Billy to give him a call. I didn't even know who the fuck Billy was, but I said OK anyway. A few weeks went pass and my boy Dusty had some beef with some guys over a chick, he always having trouble with these chicks I told him a woman is going to be the death of him. Some of the greatest men were destroyed by a female, I seen too many wars jump off wit the old heads from around my way and it was all over a woman.

Once I found out who Dusty was beefing wit, I went and talk to Ready-Roc. Me and him was alright, Then I thought about the shit. Ice is all right; until you take it out of the refrigerator. Then that shit starts to melt, I went to Ready-Roc and asked him what was the beef with him and my homie Dusty was about.. First, the nigga got smart on what business is it of mine, then the joker switched it up with I'm fucking with you. He told me the trick Kim keep telling him Dusty talking shit about him and how he'll box his ass in. I gave him the same speech that Mr. Williams gave me, the story about how women cause niggas to go to war over them. Then at the end of the day, both of them are dead or in jail and she's sucking somebody else dick.

He wasn't trying to hear the shit I was spitting, he really didn't care about what I had to say to him. I knew this nigga is going to be a problem, they called this nigga Ready-Roc. Because he was ready to rock a joker on any given Sunday. I needed to talk to Dusty about this shit, I just expose my hand to this nigga that me and Dusty be riding out (best friends). So now I have to watch my back from this Joke, I rode my bike over to Dusty crib, him and the chick Kim is at war, this trick is cussing and fussing in front of Dusty mom (Mrs. Davis). Mrs. Davis and my mother Cindy ran together (got high), Mrs. Davis stopped getting high after my mother overdosed off the shit. I wish my mother would have thought the same way when my mother boyfriend Charley overdosed, they found him in the house with the needle still stuck in his arm.

I told this bitch, why is she keep running her face back and forth to Ready-Roc about some bullshit. She told me to mind my fucking business pussy, before I could say anything to this trick. Dusty told this bitch to roll before he kicks a bone out her ass. Then she called us faggots and walked off, this bitch lucky Dusty like her trick ass. If he didn't this shit would have been taped off. However the night is still young and Ready-Roc needs to get boxed in ASAP. The way I'm feeling right now, this bitch don't know she can be a bonus. By talking that kind of nut ass shit, I’m trying to get my body count up any fucking way and this dumb ass whore running her face off on some nut as shit.

After this bitch Kim finally walked off with the dumb shit, me and Dusty needed to talk about what we was going to do about this Ready-Roc situation. Dusty be thinking this shit be a game with these jokers out here, they be having feelings for these tricks and I see this nigga Ready-Roc is caught up over the dumb bitch Kim. So I'm going to freeze tag this joker asap, I'm not going to be looking over my shoulder every time I'm moving around my hood, my homie needs to get his mind right about these chicks. I'll be telling Dusty just because he passed these chicks around like a blunt, don't mean other jokers don't be catching feelings for these smuts out here. I told him, I could see in the nigga's face. That he’s in love with the bum, so let the chick stay with the dude and Dusty still popping a bunch of whores.

CHAPTER 2

CAUGHT ME SLIPPING

That evening I made up my mind about the Ready-Roc situation, I'm on my Mr. Williams shit. I've been looking for this joker going on three days and can't find this nigga nowhere. He usually be on the block chasing traps, maybe he's doing when I'm doing. I think he's trying to catch me out there, but it's still early in