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    You Know You're a Mom: A Book for Moms Who Spend Saturdays at the Soccer Field Instead of the Spa
    You Know You're a Mom: A Book for Moms Who Spend Saturdays at the Soccer Field Instead of the Spa
    You Know You're a Mom: A Book for Moms Who Spend Saturdays at the Soccer Field Instead of the Spa
    Ebook136 pages52 minutes

    You Know You're a Mom: A Book for Moms Who Spend Saturdays at the Soccer Field Instead of the Spa

    By Harry Harrison

    ()

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    About this ebook

    For every woman who has posted 800 pictures of her baby on Instagram.

    One day that little plus sign appears on the stick, and you realize your life is about to change forever—you’re going to be a mom! Whether you’re still in the days of 2am feedings and loads of dirty diapers, or you’ve made it to that bittersweet moment of their college graduation, this book will make you laugh out loud with its insightful and funny observations about motherhood.  From the days when you read every parenting book ever written—while your husband plays golf—to the hours you spent polishing up your adult child’s resume, parenting is a roller coaster. Harry H. Harrison Jr. makes it just a little easier with his trademark humor and truisms as you learn that your job as a mom is the most important one you’ll ever have.

     

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThomas Nelson
    Release dateApr 4, 2017
    ISBN9780718090678
    You Know You're a Mom: A Book for Moms Who Spend Saturdays at the Soccer Field Instead of the Spa
    Author

    Harry Harrison

    Harry H Harrison Jr. is a bestselling writer with more than 3.5 million books in print. He has been the subject of two documentaries. His books have been listed on the New York Times and Book Sense list of bestselling non-fiction trade paperback books for over ten years. They are also available in some thirty foreign countries.  

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      Book preview

      You Know You're a Mom - Harry Harrison

      INTRODUCTION

      Of course you instantly know you’re a mom when that little plus sign appears on the stick. But that’s just the first sign, a sign from heaven that your life is about to change radically. Every second of motherhood is filled with other signs too. From the joy of pregnancy to the pain in the delivery room to the ecstasy of coaxing out little grins to the bittersweetness you feel the last day of high school, motherhood is a cascade of emotions, reactions, fears, laughter, bliss, and love. There’s only one way to explain the craziness of it all . . . you’re a mom.

      1

      YOU KNOW YOU’RE A PREGNANT MOM WHEN . . . THAT LITTLE LINE SHOWS UP ON THE STICK, AND YOU CAN’T BREATHE

      You know you’re a pregnant mom when . . .

      That little plus sign appears on the stick, and you realize your life is about to change forever.

      •

      The Trans Am when you turned sixteen was pretty sweet, but you now decide that perhaps the greatest gift in life is a baby.

      •

      You begin referring to yourself in the plural: We are ready for bed.

      •

      Your world is rocked by a blessing the size of a blueberry.

      •

      You wake up your husband at 1:00 a.m. to show him the blueprints you have drawn up for the nursery.

      •

      You realize you’re the luckiest person in the world—after you get through throwing up.

      •

      Suddenly you have an interest in your company parental leave policy. And you think it’s pretty restrictive.

      •

      You realize you have six or seven more months before you become a role model. And that may mean changing a lot of things.

      •

      You and your husband stay up at night outlining a parenting strategy for the next eighteen years.

      •

      You stop to thank God for making you a woman. Who can have a baby.

      •

      Your life is about to be filled with bittersweet moments like the first day of preschool and high school graduation.

      •

      Suddenly you become overprotective. It’s something genetic.

      •

      Hormones cause you to tear up while watching animal videos, cooking oatmeal, or reading the latest motherhood meme on Facebook.

      •

      You realize pregnancy is a miracle, a mystery, and a medical condition all rolled into one.

      •

      You develop headaches, stomachaches, heartaches, and exhaustion. And love it all.

      •

      You’d rather stay home in bed but drag your husband to parenting class.

      •

      Hearing your baby’s heartbeat for the first time causes your heart to skip a beat.

      •

      You find out that morning sickness is code for brace yourself, you’re about to be sick. All. Day. Long.

      •

      Out of the blue you decide to cut off all your hair.

      •

      You realize you need the name of a good pediatrician.

      •

      You’re doing a downward dog in a pregnancy yoga class, and you can’t get back up.

      •

      You turn what was to be your office into a nursery. And then you take a picture of the room and proudly post it to Instagram.

      •

      You learn the price of outfitting a nursery means no vacation for two years.

      •

      Your shopping strategy changes from buying clothes that show off your once-toned body to maternity clothes in order to show off your blossoming belly.

      •

      You want to somehow name your child after your parents, your husband’s parents, your childhood pet—and work in something new and unique.

      •

      You worry that your child will sit in a therapist’s office one day and say, It all began when my parents chose to name me . . .

      •

      You buy a book of one hundred thousand baby names—and then name your baby after your grandmother.

      •

      You call the baby by his name while he’s still in your womb, and even introduce him by name to strangers.

      •

      You pray for your baby by name before she’s born.

      •

      You desperately need to find a Starbucks on the way to work thanks to an all-night prenatal party going on in your belly.

      •

      People feel quite comfortable asking the craziest questions! Did you plan this? Do you know what causes it?

      •

      You stare in the mirror and decide that the whole pregnancy glow thing must be a myth.

      •

      You find yourself standing

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