Questions to Bring You Closer to Mom: 100+ Conversation Starters for Mothers and Children of Any Age
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Stuart Gustafson
An Adams Media author.
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Questions to Bring You Closer to Mom - Stuart Gustafson
100+ Conversation Starters for Mothers
and Children of Any Age
Stuart Gustafson and Robyn Freedman Spizman
9781598694789_0002_002Copyright © 2008 by Stuart Gustafson and Robyn Freedman Spizman Literary Works LLC All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any
form without permission from the publisher; exceptions
are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.
Published by Adams Media,
an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc.
57 Littlefield Street
Avon, MA 02322
www.adamsmedia.com
ISBN 10: 1-59869-478-2
ISBN 13: 978-1-59869-478-9
eISBN: 978-1-44051-492-0
Printed in the United States of America.
J I H G F E D C B A
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
is available from the publisher.
Harvey Mackay quote reprinted with permission from nationally syndicated columnist Harvey Mackay, author of New York Times #1 bestseller Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information with regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting, or other professional advice. If legal advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional person should be sought.
—From a Declaration of Principles jointly adopted by a Committee of the American Bar Association and a Committee of Publishers and Associations
This book is available at quantity discounts for bulk purchases.
For information, please call 1-800-289-0963.
From Stuart Gustafson—I wish to dedicate this book first to my fabulous coauthor Robyn Freedman Spizman, who has been such a strong supporter of this book and its predecessor from the first time she saw them. She has always been there when I had a question, and many times she had the answer for me even before I asked. I consider myself to be extremely fortunate to have her as a coauthor. And to my mom, about whom I thought a lot when writing this book. To my wife Darlene and our two children, Adrianne and Woodrow—thank you for your continual and unconditional support throughout this process.
From Robyn Freedman Spizman—I remain eternally grateful to Stuart Gustafson, for without his vision and extreme dedication to this book series, it would not have become a reality. To my parents Phyllis and Jack Freedman, who have shared with me the joy of the generations past and celebrated the goal of preserving the special memories we all hold near and dear to our hearts. And to my husband Willy and our children Justin and Ali, who make my life so worthwhile and create new memories that sustain me. And to Doug and Genie Freedman, Sam and Gena Spizman, Lois Blonder, and Ramona Freedman; and to my real-life angel Betty Storne and the Spizman Agency, Jenny Corsey, and my devoted and wonderful family and friends, too numerous to mention, you are permanently recorded in my mind and heart forever.
contents
Acknowledgments
Foreword
Part 1: How to Use This Book
Types of Moms and Their Characteristics
Part 2: Questions to Ask Your Mom
On Mom’s Life
On Our Family History
On Mom’s Values
On Marriage and Relationships
On Mom’s Dreams and Goals
On Parenting and Children
On Mom’s Legacy
Who Knows Mom Best?
Mom’s Favorite Things
A Few Final Words
acknowledgments
Once again we have been fortunate to have the support of the professional staff of Adams Media to guide us through the process of planning, writing, and editing. We want to particularly thank Karen Cooper, Director of Marketing; Beth Gissinger, Director of Publicity; Michael O’Brien, Senior Publicist; Paula Munier, Innovation Director; and Brendan O’Neill, Project Manager. We are also very privileged to have the professional expertise of a fantastic agent—we extend our thanks to Meredith Bernstein for her advice and assistance. And, finally, we wish to acknowledge the excellent work of Willy Spizman, Jenny Corsey, and the award-winning Spizman Agency for the help they have given us along with their many talents and publicity efforts promoting our books.
Foreword
Writing our first book, Questions to Bring You Closer to Dad, was such an emotional drain on me as I was drafting, rewriting, editing, re-editing, and then finally proofreading one more time. I shed a lot of tears during those many, many months of going from the book concept to the finished product, which contained so much more content and insight than I had originally envisioned.
Losing a loved one is always hard; having a parent’s life needlessly taken is an even harder experience to accept. Writing that book turned out to be good therapy for me—albeit forty years later—and I know I now have a way to capture the memories of my dad from those who knew him best. While I certainly would prefer to have had him be alive as I was growing up and starting a family, I am now comfortable in knowing that the gathering of those memories is possible. And I now also have a way of capturing my own thoughts and memories so that I can pass them on to my children.
One of the benefits I gained from writing Questions to Bring You Closer to Dad was that it gave me access
to my mom in a way that I did not have before. My mom is ninety years old and she lives six blocks from our house. But she keeps pretty much to herself (and her dog) because she does not want to interfere in our busy lives. Before the book, our conversations focused on current activities, or maybe a recent vacation she took with one of my brothers. We would not talk about her life as a child, or about her family—other than her sisters, whom I knew as Aunt Alma and Aunt Kay. She did not want to talk about any of that, just about how Dad was taken too early in life. (He was forty-eight when a drunk driver killed him and my grandfather.)
But as I was gathering content for Questions to Bring You Closer to Dad, I began asking Mom a few of the questions that are in that book. Asking her those questions allowed us to start having more open dialogue about our family, and about her family. We are slowly approaching the stage of being able to talk about