How to Change Your Thinking About Shame: Hazelden Quick Guides
4/5
()
About this ebook
Apply practical strategies from the latest expert research to change the way you think and react to feelings of shame.Do you (or does someone you know) have problems with shame? Perhaps you're suffering in silence because of an experience or feeling you have about yourself, or perhaps it’s affecting your daily life and relationships. Shame is a common emotion, and is healthy at times, but when it keeps us from activities and people we once enjoyed, it's a powerfully damaging and painful feeling.Using the research of experts in the field of emotional health, this book outlines a basic understanding of shame and offers healthy ways to process and change our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors to better deal with it. These strategies are based on Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), a widely used method of examining our own thoughts to challenge and change irrational beliefs.In this book, you willUnderstand the essence of shame and the difference between shame, guilt, humiliation, and embarrassment.Discover the anatomy of shame and break it into its basic elementsUncover your own sources of shame and how culture, childhood, and current relationships can all reinforce itDiscover how you experience shame through your own thoughts, feelings, and behaviorsReclaim your life from shame by making conscious choices in your thinking, feeling, and acting.About Hazelden Quick GuidesHazelden Quick Guides are short, accessible e-books that draw on the original work and best practices of leading experts to help readers address common addiction recovery and emotional health issues. This first four-book collection applies the proven methods of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) to challenge and change the irrational thoughts and beliefs that contribute to the debilitating effects of shame, anger, depression, and anxiety.
Read more from Leading Hazelden Experts Staff
How to Change Your Thinking About Anxiety: Hazelden Quick Guides Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How to Change Your Thinking About Depression: Hazelden Quick Guides Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Change Your Thinking About Anger: Hazelden Quick Guides Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related to How to Change Your Thinking About Shame
Related ebooks
Letting Go of Shame: Understanding How Shame Affects Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Resolve Anger Workbook Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Overcoming Shame: Let Go of Others’ Expectations and Embrace God’s Acceptance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Letting go of the Need to Control: Hazelden Classics for Clients Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Help for Helpers: Daily Meditations for Counselors Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRecover from your Childhood: Life Lessons for the Adult Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFreedom from Guilt and Blame: Finding Self-Forgiveness Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Taming Your Inner Brat: A Guide for Transforming Self-Defeating Behavior Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Setting Boundaries with Negative Thoughts and Painful Memories: How to Stop Hoarding Your Hurts Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSkip the Guilt Trap: Simple steps to help you move on with your life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Co-Dependence Healing the Human Condition: The New Paradigm for Helping Professionals and People in Recovery Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Science of Shame and Its Treatment Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Taming Your Outer Child: Overcoming Self-Sabotage and Healing from Abandonment Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Freedom from Your Inner Critic: A Self-Therapy Approach Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The ACOA Trauma Syndrome: The Impact of Childhood Pain on Adult Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Gift to Myself: A Personal Workbook and Guide to "Healing the Child Within" Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Of Course You're Angry: A Guide to Dealing with the Emotions of Substance Abuse Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Codependency Recovery Daily Reflections Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Stop Being Mean to Yourself: A Story About Finding The True Meaning of Self-Love Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unconditional Forgiveness: A Simple and Proven Method to Forgive Everyone and Everything Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shame: The Exposed Self Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Resolve Shame And Guilt Workbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5One Foot in Front of the Other: Daily Affirmations for Recovery Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Overcoming Shame: The World's Most Universal Problem Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Mental Health For You
Anxious for Nothing: Finding Calm in a Chaotic World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Less Fret, More Faith: An 11-Week Action Plan to Overcome Anxiety Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind: Dealing with Your House's Dirty Little Secrets Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-outs, and Triggers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Highly Sensitive Person Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Decluttering at the Speed of Life: Winning Your Never-Ending Battle with Stuff Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Organizing for the Rest of Us: 100 Realistic Strategies to Keep Any House Under Control Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why Smart People Hurt: A Guide for the Bright, the Sensitive, and the Creative Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfuck Your Brain Workbook: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-Outs, and Triggers Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Unbroken: The Trauma Response Is Never Wrong: And Other Things You Need to Know to Take Back Your Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Overwhelmed Brain: Personal Growth for Critical Thinkers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsUnfuck Your Anxiety: Using Science to Rewire Your Anxious Brain Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Healing Childhood Trauma: Transforming Pain into Purpose with Post-Traumatic Growth Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Noonday Demon: An Atlas Of Depression Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Embrace Your Weird: Face Your Fears and Unleash Creativity Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Summary of Ichiro Kishimi's and Fumitake Koga's book: The Courage to Be Disliked: Summary Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Beyond Thoughts: An Exploration Of Who We Are Beyond Our Minds Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for How to Change Your Thinking About Shame
5 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
How to Change Your Thinking About Shame - Leading Hazelden Experts Staff
The Essence of Shame
Shame is a complex blend of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. However, they all stem from a core belief that we are fundamentally flawed.
Shame is defined as the feeling that something very basic about us is flawed and unacceptable.
This definition is our starting point in understanding the essence of shame. In addition, there are some important distinctions to make. Start with the difference between shame and guilt.
How Shame Differs from Guilt
Shame and guilt are often confused. This is understandable. Both are interpersonal experiences. They signal that something about our relationship to other people needs attention. Beyond that, however, shame and guilt differ in four profound ways.
Guilt results from a specific behavior that violates one of our values. Guilt is appropriate for the person who makes a vow to be faithful to his marriage partner and instead has an affair. It’s also appropriate for the person who cheats on a test or steals something from a department store. Guilt is a primal message, straight from the gut, that tells the truth: I’ve done something wrong.
In contrast, shame says: I am wrong. According to shame-based thinking, that fact that we once had an affair, cheated, or stole is rock-solid proof of a much larger proposition—that we have always been, and always will be, defective. Shame is a judgment that goes beyond any specific behavior. It undercuts our belief in our basic worth as a human being, even in our right to exist.
This difference between guilt and shame is emphasized by many Hazelden authors. In Shame, for example, Tim Sheehan describes shame as a pervasive feeling of worthlessness.
He also notes that shame is different from guilt; it is not a simple reaction to our misbehavior. Shame is often a chronic feeling of inadequacy, emptiness, and self-doubt.
¹
In Shame Faced, Stephanie E. puts it succinctly: "Guilt is: I didn’t do enough. And shame is: I am not