Neither Different, nor Identical, but Free
By Renata Sorba
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Neither Different, nor Identical, but Free - Renata Sorba
free".
Letter to my mother Emi
It’s been a few months since you’re gone and the emptiness you left is immense. Our relationship got stronger during the last ten years in which we faced together all the stages of the disease that brought me to blindness. You’ve always been close to me, without ever being intrusive. You’ve always tried to encourage me to be free and most of all to defend my independence with all my heart. The dialogue and the heated discussions we had, typical of a mother-daughter relationship, led us to build a constructive bond. If today I am the person I am, I owe it to you. Even though you’re not physically with me anymore, you inspired me with your tenacity, your strictness, your determination and your generosity towards the other people. Every day I try to remember the qualities that characterized you, the freedom of thought and of actions was your strong point and I’m treasuring it. Thank you, Mum, for everything you’ve done for me, I will always keep you in my heart and everything I’ll do from now on, I’ll dedicate to you.
Renata
My story
My name is Renata Sorba and my oldest friends describe me as a shy, quiet and happy child that had a normal relational life.
Unfortunately during that period I was diagnosed with a bilateral hearing impairment and this was a shock for my family. My parents were able to live this situation with more serenity thanks to some people close to us and sensitive to this matter, whose help was fundamental. I remember that every time we went to see a specialist, the doctor reassured my anxious relatives by telling them that my hearing deficit was correctable with the help of some prosthesis.
After that, I started to study harder, I devoted myself to voluntary works and, when I reached the adult age, I went abroad, to London, where I worked as an au pair.
Even though my hearing, in spite of the prosthesis, was not perfect, I used replacement strategies because at the time I didn’t find it appropriate to inform people about my situation.
I’ve always been a very active person and I’ve never had limits, so I practiced every kind of sports. Since I was a girl, during summer time, I’ve been attending sports centres and in particular a swimming pool, where I learnt by myself to swim and to love this sport.
I remember that when I was a teenager I used to spend every afternoon in the public swimming-pool in Asti with some friends, and we used to challenge each other in diving and swimming.
I’ve always seen water as a mean of transport and I had confidence with it, so I let it cradle
me for hours. I used to alternate swimming with water plays such as the candle
or the bridge
. I have always tried to nurture this passion until my sight allowed me to do so, and I was able to see the line indicating the lane on the bottom of the swimming pool, and this allowed me to swim backstroke, freestyle or other. When my sight gradually started to lower, I developed the strategy of getting acquainted with the pool, searching it with somebody guiding me. I got used to swim breaststroke, thanks to which I still have the possibility to swim alone, taking as a reference point the side of the pool.
Today, just like some years ago, when I dive in the pool (I use to attend private swimming pools now) I feel completely free, relaxed, peaceful and loose.
I have the same relationship with the sea, but it is too wide, so it is difficult for me to maintain the orientation and the trajectory, and it is important for me to have some help, especially a vocal help, in order to have reference points and to be able to swim freely.
The feeling that I have every time I swim or that I’m in the water, is that of not having barriers. My sensorial insufficiency is not indenting the atmosphere of symbiosis and well-being I feel in this space.
My parents have always prompted me to do it and my brother Paolo has always prompted me to practice some outdoor sports that would help me socialize and meet people of our age: as a matter of fact my brother was part of the Asti soccer team for years.
Sport also taught me to operate in the working environment, in fact I had several jobs: I was an interpreter, an employee, a