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    Recommendations for Obtaining a Mate
    Recommendations for Obtaining a Mate
    Recommendations for Obtaining a Mate
    Ebook138 pages1 hour

    Recommendations for Obtaining a Mate

    By Laurie Collins

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    About this ebook

    Recommendations for Obtaining a Mate (RFOM) is a brief and mildly entertaining how-to guide that gives anecdotal advice to men and women about how to attract and secure a romantic partner. RFOM contains straight talk about how to prepare oneself for the dating process. It also provides a short list of good habits for readers to practice to not only become successful in romance but throughout life.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLaurie Collins
    Release dateAug 15, 2016
    ISBN9781370037254
    Recommendations for Obtaining a Mate
    Author

    Laurie Collins

    L. M. Collins was born in west Texas and raised in California. She currently resides in San Jose, CA.

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      Book preview

      Recommendations for Obtaining a Mate - Laurie Collins

      RECOMMENDATIONS

      FOR

      OBTAINING A MATE

      L. M. Collins

      Copyright © 2016 L. M. Collins

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

      Distributed by Smashwords

      Editor: Kimiko Hammari

      Research Associate: Helen McCarty

      Art Director: Bogdan Lucut

      Graphic Illustrator: Janina Kiok

      Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

      CONTENTS

      Objective

      Introduction

      Relationships

      Foundation

      Preparation

      Presentation

      Anticipation of Commitment

      Patience and Comforting

      Summary

      OBJECTIVE

      Objective: The objective of this manual is to give clear and concise advice on how to attract and secure a mate for at least three consecutive months. Three months is used as a baseline here because after ninety days of dating, most people should have a good idea as to whether or not the relationship has legs.

      Within this objective is the desire to gently re-introduce the concept of free love, a form of freestyle dating that originated during the 1960s. Then, free love meant men and women having consensual sexual relations without any emotional commitments beyond the act of sex. Here, we shall apply a healthier version of that core spirit by deleting the polyamorous connotations. In Recommendations on Finding a Mate, free love shall be defined as loving freely and generously and without the expectation of a reward or of a commitment from the object of that love above and beyond that which is civil and legal by law.

      As the title states, all of the information provided here represents recommendations for individuals who are on an earnest quest for long and lasting love. While these recommendations do not come from a credentialed source (although the author sometimes feels as though she has a master’s degree from the University of Hard Knocks), they do come from real-life experiences from real people. Therefore, the reader should attempt to give RFOM as much merit as they would if they were gleaning its anecdotes from a glossy, peer-reviewed textbook. Life on this wonderful, savage blue marble is perhaps the greatest educational system of them all. One just has to dodge its slings and arrows long enough to take notice.

      Finally, the author recommends that the reader purchase (and read) the following books:

      1. The Holy Bible (Old and New Testaments)

      2. John Glenn: A Memoir by Mr. John Glenn

      3. The Way of the Seal by Mr. Mark Divine with Ms. Allyson Edelhertz Machate

      4. Say Thank You by Ms. M. Gail Woodard

      5. The Gentleman's Handbook: A Guide to Exemplary Behavior, or Rules of Life and Love for Men Who Care by Mr. Aaron Shepard

      6. Emily Post’s Etiquette by Ms. Peggy Post, Ms. Anna Post, Ms. Lizzie Post and Mr. Daniel Post Senning.

      In your spare time, read as many books, articles, blogs, Tweets and Facebook postings on the general topic of forming and dissolving relationships as you can. Read about the good, and the bad and the downright ugly. Certainly keep the focus on romantic couplings/uncouplings, but also bone up on famous platonic partnerships: for e.g., Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak (Apple Computer), Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy (Amblin Entertainment), Marcus Goldman and Samuel Sachs (Goldman Sachs). In each case, try to determine:

      • What drew these people together?

      • What was their relationship like? Peaceful or volatile? Fair or one-sided?

      • What were the pair’s successes?

      • Where did the pair miss their mark(s)?

      • What kept these people together? Or, what drove them apart?

      Data mining the interpersonal relationships of others—everyday Americans and world-famous, historical figures alike—can provide real knowledge that you can turn around and apply to your own life.

      As stated above, RFOM contains recommendations which are based upon anecdotal data accumulated over thirty years of dating and marrying experiences by the author. The scientific method plays no role here. Therefore, outcomes cannot be determined nor guaranteed.

      For the ladies, I would also like to recommend watching a YouTube video titled In Defense of Men, What’s Left of Them by Phaeton230780.

      INTRODUCTION

      My name is L. M. Collins. I am an American-born female in her fifties. I have more than thirty years of dating and marriage experience, all the while maintaining a home, co-parenting a son, attending college, working a low-level career, and navigating a drama-filled life. Throughout this time, I strived to remain awake and proactive during each event and each relationship that came my way. I rarely stumbled into situations and rarely stumbled out of them. Almost ALL of my maneuvers were carefully plotted and executed, according to time and financial allowances. That isn’t to say I didn’t make gross errors in judgment or hurt the blameless along the way. I did, and at times I did it with alarming frequency. Sometimes I played the hapless victim, and other times I played the role of a cold, calculating cipher. I’m not proud of those times. A bruise against an individual or a business is a bruise against society. So, in a sense, being a cool and deliberate person (a.k.a. control freak) can turn you into a loose cannon of sorts, and you can inflict unintended damage to broad swaths of life.

      This modis operandi disappointed me quite a bit at times, and I believe that at some point, it began to disappoint someone else… someone or something with enough power and authority to step into my life, wrestle the reins from me and address this issue. Please allow me the conceit to call that someone God. Insert drama-filled life here. In my late twenties, job loss, poverty, abandonment by loved ones, dislocation, and torment were liberally applied to my life. I did not desire this course correction, nor do I fully appreciate it even now, as my personal losses were great. But, as I have arrived at middle age, I do have more clarity about myself and other people living out their own lives alongside my own. I believe that the main underpinning to this Magna Interruptus was not the complete refutation of my MO, but the refining of it. Being a cool-headed survivor is NOT being a sociopath, but being a cool-headed survivor without love and empathy for yourself and for your fellow man or woman can cause you to be viewed as a sociopath. Or even to become one. I believe that I have a more mature understanding of how to engage in and maintain healthier platonic and romantic relationships. But let me be clear: I, too, am still learning.

      But allow me to circle back to my original statements. "I have more than thirty years of dating and marriage experience, all the while maintaining a home, co-parenting a son, attending college, working a low-level career, and navigating a drama-filled life. Throughout this time, I strived to remain awake and proactive during each event and each relationship that came my way. Almost ALL of my maneuvers were carefully plotted and executed, according to time and financial allowances." That sounds pretty impressive, doesn’t it? Am I a metahuman?[1] Of course not. Nor am I a particularly wise average human. I am merely a practitioner of being aware… aware of my role and my actions in each of my past and present situations (romantic and otherwise), and attentive to the roles and actions that my partners have and are playing in those relationships. (Yes, kids! The significant key to sometimes winning at the Big Game of Life is to actually pay attention to how you and your fellow gamers are playing the game.)

      I wrote this manual because I desire to pass on some hard-won lessons and observations from my own love life and from the love lives of relatives, friends, and even cultural icons. Again, you will find no empirical evidence here, only anecdotal information that seems to bear the test of time.

      This text is deliberately brief. While not a textbook per se, it is a self-programming guide and will require that you read it several times. It will require that you think about this information and then digest those parts that are palatable to you. I hope that you will apply some of these recommendations to your own quest for love. And that takes time. If you are like most active people in the world today, you do not have a great deal of free time. I do not wish to take up any more of your day than is absolutely necessary. In fact, preparing yourself for romantic love and to receive romantic love is not rocket science. It is preparation and perseverance, two modes of operation that most of us can handle. Therefore, there is no verbiage here. Everything written down is for your elucidation and is to be read. Often.

      The term POI (person of interest) will now be used hereafter to refer to either a potential dating candidate or a potential mate.

      The expression tribe will occasionally be used to represent your inner circle of family, friends, pets, temple or church acquaintances and counselors, and workplace co-workers with whom you have established alliances.

      Special Note #1: At this point in my life, I am laboring under certain religious restrictions. Consequently, RFOM has a heterosexual orientation and is intended for the reading pleasure of either a male audience in pursuit of available females, or a female audience in pursuit of available males. Having said that, these recommendations are open to anyone with the sincere desire to be involved in a loving, committed relationship. Love can become one of the greatest positive engines in a person’s life; therefore, it is my belief

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