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    The Confessions of St. Augustine
    The Confessions of St. Augustine
    The Confessions of St. Augustine
    Ebook285 pages5 hours

    The Confessions of St. Augustine

    By St. Augustine and Rosalie De Rosset

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    "Augustine never thought of God without thinking of his sin, nor of his sin without thinking of Christ."

    St. Augustine grates hard against "the anatomy of evil" while dealing succinctly and honestly with his own proneness toward sin. From his infatuation with its initial beauty to the discounting of his previously wasted life, Augustine leaves little to the imagination regarding his need to be saved from himself.

    Most of Augustine's Confessions are spent in a nearly catastrophe tug of war. From insult and injury to passion, lost love, and the arts--this work leads through and beyond a world where God's timing is absolutely perfect. Nothing has really changed since then. Sin is still sin--and God is still God.

    Moody Classics
    Of all the factors influencing our spiritual growth and development, pivotal books play a key role. Learning from those who have walked the path and fought the fight brings wisdom and strengthens resolve. And hearing the familiar chords of kingdom living sung by voices from other times can penetrate cultural barriers that limit our allegiance to the King. To this end, Moody Publishers is honored to introduce the first six volumes in what is to be an ongoing series of spiritual classics. Selected for their enduring influence and timeless perspective, these new editions promise to shape the lives of spiritual pilgrims for generations to come.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMoody Publishers
    Release dateOct 1, 2007
    ISBN9780802480675
    Author

    St. Augustine

    AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO (354-430) was one of the foremost philosopher-theologians of early Christianity and the leading figure in the church of North Africa. He became bishop of Hippo in 396 and held that position until his death. Before becoming a Christian, Augustine lived a very secular life. His mother Monica prayed for him diligently and at age 32, during a trip to Milan, Augustine heard the preaching of St. Ambrose, was convicted by the Holy Spirit, and became a Christian. His numerous written works, the most important of which are his Confessions and City of God, shaped the practice of biblical exegesis and helped lay the foundation for much of medieval and modern Christian thought.

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    Reviews for The Confessions of St. Augustine

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    • 4/5
      Confessions. Saint Augustine. 2d Translated by Frank Sheed. 1992. And I Burned for your Peace; Augustine’s Confessions Unpacked. Peter Kreeft. 2016. Confessions was a fall sections for our great books club, and I just finished it! Not that I it should have taken me this long; I just read most of the books listed above as I read a few pages in Confessions two or three times a week until I finished it. It is a beautiful book, and I am so glad that I read it. To be honest, I am not sure I would have finished it had I not read Kreeft’s book along with it. He certainly did a good job of explaining St. Augustine. It was sort of like reading the Bible. I really enjoyed most of it, but Augustine does belabor the points he makes! He takes a long time to say anything. This is a spiritual autobiography, not a typical autobiography. Anyone interested in early Christian thought would do well to read this. I expect I will return to read some of the many parts I underlined
    • 3/5
      Essential medieval/Christian philosophy.
    • 5/5
      One of the great works in philosophy and religion.
    • 4/5
      Considering that the style of Augie's work is completely and utterly impenetrable, this is actually a pretty decent read. Just come to it expecting circularity, meditation, rapturous theology and self-flagellation, and you'll come away impressed.
      Don't expect anything linear, and you'll be all the more impressed when he ends up, every now and then, out-Aristotling Aristotle with arguments of the (x-->y)&(y-->z)&(z-->p)&(p-->q); ~x is absurd; therefore q variety.
      Don't expect any modern 'you are a unique and special snowflake and your desires are good it's just that your parents/society/upbringing/schoolfriends/economic earning power have stunted you' self-help guff. It'd be nice to read someone more contemporary who's willing to admit that people do things wrong, all the time, and should feel really shitty for doing wrong things.
      Don't expect Aquinas. This is the hardest bit for me; if someone's going to talk about God I prefer that they be coldly logical about it. Augie goes more for the erotic allegory, self-abasement in the face of the overwhelming eternal kind of thing. No thanks.
      Finally, be aware that you'll need to think long and hard about what he says and why he says it when he does. Books I-IX are the ones you'll read as autobiography, and books X-XIII will seem like a slog. But it's all autobiography. Sadly for Augie, he doesn't make it easy for us to value the stuff he wants to convince us to value, which is the philosophy and theology of the later books. The structure, as far as I can tell, is to show us first how he got to believing that it was possible for him to even begin thinking about God (that's I-IX). X-XIII shows us how he goes about thinking about God, moving from the external world, to the human self in X and a bit of XI, to the whole of creation in XI and XII, to God himself in XIII. I have no idea if this is what he had in mind, but it roughly works out. That's all very intellectually stimulating, but it's still way more fun to read about his peccadilloes and everyday life in the fourth century.
    • 5/5
      I really felt my soul physically grow as I read this book.
    • 3/5
      Well, I'm finished with this book at last!I originally became interested in reading Confessions when I saw a special twelve years ago about the beginnings of Christianity, because I thought "Confessions" sounded like a juicy book. It's really not juicy at all, so it's a good thing I approached it interested in theology and not scandal by the time I finally got around to reading it. This time around, I mainly felt like it was important for me to read firsthand the philosophy that is so much a basis of Catholic thought.Like most books written in the middle ages, St. Augustine's would have benefited from a good editor. There were a lot of times where I felt he repeated himself, which is fine for a spiritual seeker's personal musings, but a bit annoying for an outside reader hundreds of years later. And even though he wrote his Confessions both to strengthen his understanding/relationship with God and to further the same for others, a lot of it really did feel like naval-gazing. Still, I found myself appreciating a LOT of Augustine's theology, such as his insistence that people could come to diverse interpretations of Scripture without any of them being "wrong" (take that, fundamentalists!). Indeed, Augustine's perception of Christianity seems a lot more open than the Catholic Church of today would lead you to believe, although the hierarchy HAS kept his puritan perceptions of sexuality fully intact. Thank God for that.
    • 4/5
      The "Confessions" of Saint Augustine is a hard work to pin down--part conversion story, part apologetics text, part philosophical treatise, part Bible commentary. It is also a hard work to read. There are many points of interest within the text, but it is not something you just read straight through without a lot of stopping and thinking, and preferably some supplemental research. There were many times reading the book that I felt that my time would be better spent just reading hours of the Bible, and that I was trying to force myself to grapple with a seminary-level text without the prerequisite educational background. This is a vitally significant work in Christian history, to be sure; it lays out fundamental arguments against the Manichaeans, has been looked to by the Roman Catholic church in support of purgatory, and even influenced the philosophical writings of Descartes. However, this wide-ranging history is far beyond the scope of the book itself, and it almost needs its own commentary to be understood by the layperson. The Barnes and Noble edition contains a historical timeline, an introduction, endnotes, a brief essay on the Confessions' influence on later works (which I found to be the most helpful supplemental piece in the book and wish I had read it before the text), a selection of famous quotes responding to the text, and a few critical questions to consider in thinking about the work.
    • 4/5
      A marvelous autobiography of a Church Father. How he coped with avoiding the "call" to God. He sought the truth in pganism, then Aristotelian philosophy, then Manichaeism. All the while relishing a sinner's life. Then he visited Milan, called upon Ambrose and began his conversion to Christianity. He portrays himself, warts and all, living with a mistress, his quest for easy living and money, only to be confronted by a voice telling him to read the Bible. It changes his life. He converts. He pursues Catholicism with devotion and eventually finds himself the Bishop of Hippo, ministering to the poor of all faiths. Quite a man.
    • 5/5
      If anyone struggles with desires within themselves and wonders why the struggle and if it can be overcome they need to read Confessions. The struggle has never changed and Augustine had to fight through his passions and his intellect to find trust and relief in Christ.
    • 3/5
      I know this is a "great" work of Christianity because I was told it was. But it did nothing for me. It seemed jumbled and erratic and hard to understand, despite the use of simple, easy language. It was more stream-of-consciousness that I excepted. I didn't enjoy reading about Augustine's life and struggles with sin. He was honest and that's rare from someone who because famous for their faith. I think this book can make a huge difference in many people's hearts - but for me, it was just not what I prefer to read. It was a bit too sentimental and full of angst for my rational tastes.
    • 5/5
      This is a master work of religious philosophy. This was one of the first things I read which made me understand religion in the deeper sense.
    • 5/5
      Fabulous feast. Who are you? God only knows, says Augustine reverently.
    • 5/5
      Actually brings up the idea that some parts of the bible are to be understood metaphorically, rather than literally. Including Genesis. I always have big trouble with the way Augustine just "sent away" his mistress when he converted. Lots of agonizing over how much it hurt him, but not much on how it affected her. Seems to me he should have married her.
    • 2/5
      Written in the 4th century by an early intellectual christian who is famous (to me anyway) for his prayer - "Lord grant me chastity, but not yet"!. The book is in the form of an autobiography, interspersed with lots and lots of beseeching of the lord. The biography is interesting, and all the beseeching has a strong echo in the formulaic rants of the TV preachers. The book ends with some ponderings - on memory, and on the creation. Augustine believes god made the world, but he has some interesting questions about exactly how this was done. I couldn't help wondering, if Augustine was alive now, when there are much better explanations, whether he wouldn't be in the Richard Dawkins' camp. Read February 2009
    • 5/5
      Timeless autobiography showing how the Spirit of Christ drew this Church father to Himself.
    • 3/5
      Read the whole thing as part of my church history course. It probably meant more to me reading it as an adult than it would have if I read it all the way through when I bought it in high school. A reminder that God's love is deeper than anything we can imagine.
    • 4/5
      This book has been one of the slowest reads so far this year and took around 41 days to finish. My main struggle was with the language the book was written it. The underlying story was interesting, but there were so many extra words around everything. Especially in the first books, Augustine is constantly referencing back and forward between the past and the present and the relationship between his past actions and God. He regrets choices and actions that he took, but acknowledges that God was present in them and worked through them.
      The more I read, the more the underlying story of Augustine's journey became clear. It showed that his was a slow meandering journey to finding God.
      His mother, Monnica, is one of the main characters in the book, who is constantly praying to God to save her son. And her prayer is answered before her death, albeit not by many years.
      The last chapter ended by tying up the experience with an honest look at how Augustine was living in the present. He struggled with wanting to follow God in his heart, but also wanting to follow his own wills/passions. It is an encouraging insight into the life of such a well-known, influential Christian theologian and philosopher showing that he never attained perfection, but was reassuringly human.
    • 5/5
      This book is very dear to me. I read "Confessions" in a very difficult personal time and quickly became overwhelmed by Augustines sincerity, intellect, and love for The Immutable Light. Augustine presents us with a very interesting time period in as where Christianity and Roman Paganism lie in juxtaposition. Besides Augustine's personal confessions, I enjoyed his examination of Genesis and his hefty discourse on time, or perhaps I should say the lack of the past and future. Rather than prattle on in the present, which has become past, I will urge you, reader, to introduce yourself to an author you most assuredly will hold very close to your heart.
    • 5/5
      Has been called the greatest autobiography of all time.Exceedingly eloquent; the entire book is a prayer which reflects on the author's life and the work of God's grace within it.
    • 3/5
      Powerful in its honesty, but also hard for me as a nonbeliever to read. The constant reference to God occurs not on the scale of once every page, but more like every other sentence. The effect is to make me skeptical of even the best parts, such as the brilliant discussion of the nature of time and the excruciatingly honest effort to understand the theft of the pears, when they end up being folded into Augustine's religious narrative. Yet the passion of Augustine's thought and the force of his writing is impossible to deny and those insights that do hold relevance beyond the Christian are presented powerfully here.
    • 4/5
      Augustine's Confessions are his biography, and they contain a lot of his theological and philosophical thoughts, as well details of his surprisingly interesting life. He didn't become a Christian until later in life, first being a Manichean, an interesting gnostic religion which died out in the middle ages. He writes about the bad things he did, how he regrets them, and speculates on psychological reasons for human behavior.Augustine was fairly well educated, and the chapters where he muses over problems of time and memory are quite thought provoking. The book is notable for the frankness of the author, his perceptiveness, and his variety of internal struggles. The literary impact of this book has also been huge; as the reader progresses numerous phrases will stand out, either because they have entered the common idiom, or because there is something very poetical captured in them. This book is notable for so many reasons.
    • 4/5
      The son of a pagan father, who insisted on his education, and a Christian mother, who continued to pray for his salvation, Saint Augustine spent his early years torn between the conflicting religions and philosophical world views of his time. His Confessions, written when he was in his forties, recount how, slowly and painfully, he came to turn away from the licentious lifestyle and vagaries of his youth, to become a staunch advocate of Christianity and one of its most influential thinkers, writers and advocates. A remarkably honest and revealing spiritual autobiography, the Confessions also address fundamental issues of Christian doctrine, and many of the prayers and meditations it includes are still an integral part of the practice of Christianity today.
    • 4/5

      I began reading this once years ago, but it failed to engage me and I put it aside. When I started again I couldn't understand my previous lack of interest. The work ranges from philosophical speculation to personal memoir, and each kind has it's appeal. I was surprised by how must variety of belief and opinion late antiquity held on so many topics. Some of the debates and issues Augustine describes sound shockingly contemporary, though put in different terms. The passages covering Augustine's personal life can be poignant, especially those concerning death.

      The scholarly consensus is that the Confessions was meant to be a preamble to a longer work: a detailed exegesis of the entirety of Christian scripture. The last three books cover the first chapter of Genesis, with careful attention given to an allegorical interpretation of the creation story. This is apparently as far Augustine ever got, thus adding to the long tradition of great, unfinished masterpieces.

    • 5/5
      Gorgeously written, though I suppose Latin generally translates into very lovely prose. I loved the introspective wanderings into the human consciousness, and recommend the book to anyone, especially one who puts the saints on an unattainable pedestal--the holy have never seemed so human.
    • 5/5
      A wonderful book that at once balances a true confession of a life without God with the awe and wonder of knowing and seeking the Almighty. Augustine masterfully recognizes God's hand in every part of his life, and he makes his reader want to seek that hand as well. A masterpiece in both a religious and literary sense.
    • 5/5
      What can I even say about this book? I am standing too close to say anything sensible. Fortunately other people have written plenty of actual reviews.Memo to future me: the quote you're (I'm) usually looking for is book 10, chapter 36, first paragraph. "You know how greatly you have already changed me, you who first healed me from the passion for self-vindication, [...] you who subdued my pride by your fear and tamed my neck to your yoke? Now I bear that yoke, and it is light upon me, for this you have promised, and thus have you made it be. Truly, it was this but I did not know it when I was afraid to submit to it."
    • 5/5
      Augustine's 'efficacious grace' inspired Reformation theologians such as Martin Luther and John Calvin. Augustine taught that Adam's guilt, as transmitted to his descendants, severely weakens, though does not destroy, the freedom of their will. Luther and Calvin took it one step further and said that Original Sin completely destroyed liberty. So we can thank him for helping open up the floodgates of what I perceive to be a huge part of what hell would be like: the overwhelmingly negative infatuation with ascetism. Meanwhile, Augustine's arguments against magic, differentiating it from miracle, were crucial in the early Church's fight against paganism and became a central thesis in the later denunciation of witches and witchcraft. In other words, he perhaps unintentionallly contributed to the burning alive of many innocent people.However, because it is impossible to separate Christianity form European intellectual tradition, we must (for me grudgingly so) acknowledge Augustine's positive role.1. in bringing Greek thought back into the Christian/European intellectual tradition.2. his writing on the human will and ethics would become a focus for later thinkers such as Schopenhauer and Nietzsche. 3. His extended meditation on the nature of time imfluenced even agnostics such as Bertrand Russell. 4. throughout the 20th century Continental philosophers like Husserl, Heidegger, Arendt and Elshtaing were inspired by Augustine's ideas on intentionality, memory, and language.5. Augustine's vision of the heavenly city has probably influenced the secular projects and traditions of the Enlightenment, Marxism, Freudianism and Eco-fundamentalism.Augustine was a medieval thinker who contributed many things, and we must understand he did live in a dark time. I admit his positive achievements (like contributing to my atheism) but we must also realize how his asceticism, fundamentalism and guilt-mongering contributed immensely to some of the darkest moments in history. 4.5 stars for being an important part of history and our understanding of it, whether Augustine's influence is seen as good, bad, or in-between.
    • 3/5
      A classic work for its influence on Christian theology going forward, but hardly a pleasure read for anyone not a student of such or not keenly interested in early Christian lore. Non-religious at my best, I read it as an early example of autobiography and for the sake of its place in history; but the story of a man's search for himself and his quest for truth is something we all go through at some point in our quest for self-identity. In Augustine's case it is the story of an atheist brought to God, a journey that included the search for truth in many other directions before he resorted to religion. This was a very difficult read, a chore really, and it took me much longer than its page count warranted. I had to lean on Sparknotes quite a bit to help me navigate it. Merging neo-platonic philosophy with Christianity, Augustine argues that everyone and everything moves towards God, knowingly or not, as part of a quest to achieve near-perfect (only God is perfect) state of being. That is an essential message to be aware of and watching for if you've any hope of getting through this.The first nine parts are his biography, which serves as a sort of case study. This was the portion that satisfied my amateur interest. Augustine apologizes to God for every sin he can ever remember making, including some (e.g. crying incessantly as a babe) that he can't. Citing the evil sin of taking pride in his grammar lessons and rhetoric skills, etc. makes him sound almost a flagellant. Slightly more legitimate was the minor theft of fruit committed under peer pressure, and more philandering than was strictly warranted. Most peculiar to me was the supposed sin of taking pleasure in watching tragic drama, as he wonders where the pleasure came from to be entertained by tales of others' suffering, albeit fictional.The last four parts are increasingly obtuse as he lays out his theory of change that moves towards God. I could barely parse these chapters. The first explored memory, the next was on the nature of time, the next the biblical story of creation, and the last ... Sparknotes doesn't cover this one and it lost me so completely, I can't even hazard a guess at what it was addressing even though I read every word. The tenth chapter is also a discussion of temptations and gave me the sad impression that he had built a cage about himself, cutting himself off from every pleasure life has to offer and reducing his experience to mere survival. He writes that of course he knows he cannot permit anyone to dissuade him from this position. It's a typical tenet in any fundamentalist perspectives, this defining anyone who tries to talk you out of your beliefs as inherently evil, permitting your dismissal of their every argument without having to hear or consider (been there, done that, bought the Ayn Rand t-shirt - sold it back.) I have met a brilliant man, one who became deeply inhibited by the self-identity he arrived at.
    • 5/5
      One of the most excellent books I've every read. From start to finish I was captivated letter by letter, word by word and so on.You do not have to be a catholic, or even a christian to enjoy this mans tail of finding faith.
    • 4/5
      St. Augustine is one of the most significant authors of the early Roman Catholic Church. This autobiography is stunning in its frankness and its passion. Augustine of Hippo documents his transition from childhood to adulthood; also his path from Paganism to Christianity. He is not a perfect human being, he is seeking something profound, but is also admittedly weak and tempted by pride and pleasure. While many books have been written after, none before had been written like it.

    Book preview

    The Confessions of St. Augustine - St. Augustine

    ABOUT

    INTRODUCTION

    Augustine’s Confessions

    WHO WILL GIVE ME HELP, SO THAT I MAY REST IN YOU? WHO WILL HELP ME, SO THAT YOU WILL COME INTO MY HEART AND INEBRIATE IT TO THE END THAT I MAY FORGET MY EVILS AND EMBRACE YOU, MY ONE GOOD?

    —Book 1, Chap. 5

    THAT AUGUSTINE was one of the greatest minds who has ever been in the church is a given, and his most well-known work, the Confessions, has a unique place among the world’s great classics. The line that appears in the opening paragraph of Book 1, our heart is restless, until it rest in thee, is quoted everywhere, though not everyone who quotes it or hears it knows where it came from and may even think it’s a biblical saying.

    Many people also know that Augustine was the son of Monica, a mother who prayed faithfully and arduously for him for years, and that he was finally converted from a rebellious and promiscuous life. Sadly, however, too few mainstream Christians outside of academia or a classroom where the book is required pick up the book and read it, though its analysis of sin, both theological and psychological, is dramatic, colorful, convicting, and utterly contemporary. Unlike so many of the soft pop-culture treatments that come and go like the seasons, this work remains, for reasons that become obvious immediately. Even a casual reading of some of its parts is memorable.

    The thirteen books of St. Augustine’s Confessions (ten of which are reproduced here) were written by a man who had complex emotional understanding as well as great intellectual gifts combined with a strong will. He was a genius in philosophy, theology, and psychology, a pioneer in scriptural studies, an extraordinary master of language, and a powerful leader. From a willfully decadent, pagan life, he turned to Catholicism in all its austerity and discipline and became a larger-than-life figure, influencing theologians and church leaders and laypeople enduringly. For example, Martin Luther looked to him as a father and quoted him on grace and justification.

    Augustine was born in 354 in North Africa in the town of Thagaste, in Numidia, near the eastern border of Algeria, then a province of Rome, to Patricius, a pagan property owner and minor official, and Monica, a faithful Catholic. He had at least two siblings, one of them Perpetua, who entered a religious order. In the mid-fourth century, Thagaste was prosperous agriculturally and was populated in part by a group the Romans called Afri (Africans) who were European in origin and typically fair-skinned and who had pagan practices and gods. Augustine appears to have belonged to this native North African stock, but his family also associated with the Roman ruling class and the Christian community in Thagaste.

    Augustine showed intellectual promise early in life, but he was instructed in his youth by a cruel schoolmaster. As a result he never learned Greek well and writes that he detested the Greek Language (Bk. 1, chap. 13). In further education in Madauros, he studied pagan literature and became acquainted with Plato’s work (an influence that would be part of his acceptance of Christianity much later), after which he came home and spent his sixteenth year falling into what he describes as the sweeping tide of passions including a promiscuous lifestyle, a habit of lying and thievery, breaking all God’s laws. He describes himself aptly and articulately as a soul in waste … a land of want (Bk. 2).

    His analysis of the motivation for sin, what he calls the anatomy of evil in this book, is chilling, words that make the actively sinning reader afraid and cause those who have abandoned sin to soberly give thanks for their decision. Utterly forthright, Augustine never denies the initial beauty of sin. There is splendor in beautiful bodies, both in gold and silver, and in all things … worldly honor, too, and the power to command and to rule over others (Bk. 2, chap. 10). Why, after all, would anyone sin if it weren’t appealing? As he looks with wonderment at the beauty that allured him, Augustine recognizes that all sin is dark imitation of good. Curiosity pretends to be a desire for knowledge, while you [God] know all things in the highest degree (Bk. 2, chap. 13). He asks himself despairingly whether he commits the sin simply because it is unlawful and laments, O rottenness! O monstrous life and deepest death! (Bk. 2, chap. 14).

    At nineteen, Augustine went to Carthage where he took as his mistress an unnamed woman. After his conversion, pressured by his mother, he sent her back to Africa from Milan where they were living, a decision that left him raw and bleeding. She bore him a son, Adeodatus.

    Before his conversion, he states clearly, he was restless and wanting love. As he puts it, For there was a hunger within me from a lack of that inner food, which is yourself, my God … but was without desire for incorruptible food (Bk. 3, chap.1). Augustine thanks God for the gall He threw into his experience of love, a gall that caused him to be bound about with painful chains of iron, so that I might be scourged by burning rods of jealousy and suspicion and fear and anger and quarrelling (Bk. 3, chap. 1). Interestingly and so humanly, Augustine talks in this section about coming to love his sorrow; he even sought opportunities for sorrow, leaning especially to a delight in theater, an escape certainly easy for today’s visual, movie-obsessed world to understand.

    In Carthage, Augustine’s knowledge of rhetoric, literature, music, mathematics, and Greek and Latin philosophy deepened, and his intellectual style—one that insistently asked questions and pursued them tenaciously—took hold, one that also, he admits, made him swollen up with vanity (Bk. 3, chap. 6). In Carthage, this vanity combined with his longings—which, as many have noted, are still spiritual though easily exhausted with substitute and fraudulent human escapes—probably made him prey for the Manichean religion.

    The chief characteristic of this sect was Gnosticism, or the claim to have special knowledge that leads to salvation, an extreme dualism that claimed evil and good as equal. Augustine writes that this doctrine was the snare of the Devil (Bk. 3, chap. 10). Augustine is a master psychologist and describes the tremendous irony that he, who was then a most wicked servant of base lusts, should read and understand all the books on the liberal arts. He beautifully summarizes his condition when he says, I had my back to the light and my face turned towards the things upon which the light fell: hence my face, by which I looked upon the things that were lighted up, was not itself in the light (Bk. 4, chap. 31).

    In 383, Augustine set out for Rome, his mother following him to the seashore, wanting to go with him. Apparently he tricked her, setting off without her though she joined him later when he was in Milan. In Rome he continued his connection to the Manicheans, suffered a severe illness while living in one of their homes, and then in a stroke of good fortune received an official appointment as professor of rhetoric in Milan where he successfully taught the arts of speech.

    At this time, however, he began to experience the old restlessness, morally, intellectually, and spiritually, wanting to live a life of integrity but feeling too weak to do so. In Milan he met Bishop Ambrose, the great rhetorician and preacher, and what Ambrose had to say moved him deeply, starting him on his journey to Christ. Every pastor and teacher should read Augustine’s description of the power of language to move the soul and spirit. At the same time, he notes, with the words which I loved, there also entered into my mind the things themselves, to which I was indifferent … and when I opened up my heart to receive the eloquence with which he spoke, there likewise entered … the truths that he spoke (Bk. 5, chap. 24).

    Always, always, throughout the Confessions the reader feels the power of a pursuing, haunting God, a God who uses every part of Augustine’s (and by implication the reader’s) experience, whether that be intellectual curiosity, arrogance, power, or even erotic desires. God will not be limited by His creation. What Augustine found was that his stubborn tenacity paled in the face of God’s tenacious love. The Confessions are riddled with that understanding.

    Throughout eight books, Augustine establishes the building blocks for the famous conversion, the climax of the work, whose drama never seems to diminish with retelling. He is held back by his lovers of old, trifles of trifles and vanities of vanities, sins that whisper to him seductively telling him he cannot live without them, muttering behind [his] back, furtively picking at [him], delaying the fullness of the grace of God till he finally flings himself down under a fig tree weeping. While lying there, Augustine heard the voice of a child repeating over and over, Take up and read, and he got up and opening the Bible read the first chapter he came upon, that said, Not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and impurities, not in strife and envying, but put you on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh. … Instantly, in truth, at the end of this sentence, as if before a peaceful light streaming into my heart, all the dark shadows of doubt fled away (Bk. 8, chap. 29).

    Following this cataclysmic spiritual event, Books 9 and 10 are the testimony of a soul set free. Augustine’s language is metaphorically unforgettable. Now was my mind free from the gnawing cares of favor-seeking, of striving for gain, of wallowing in the mire, and of scratching lust’s itchy sore. I spoke like a child to you, my light, my wealth, my salvation, my Lord God. I cannot read those words without feeling my own deliverance, without wanting to love God more.

    Secondly, however, Augustine mourns deeply the sins of his past, becoming angry with himself, tortured over the wasted years. Too late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient and so new, too late have I loved you! Behold you were within me, while I was outside: it was there that I sought you, and a deformed creature, rushed headlong upon these things of beauty which you have made. … They kept me far from you, those fair things which, if they were not in you, would not exist at all (Bk. 10, chap. 38). In addition to grieving over the past, he suffered physically both with pain in his teeth and chest and with difficulty breathing. His story reminds us that dramatic spiritual change does not ensure a life of ease.

    After resigning his professorship as a seller of words for students, he and a few friends and his mother, Monica, retired to a countryside retreat at Cassiasicum where they discussed philosophical, theological, and literary problems centered on religion. On Easter 387, Augustine was baptized by Bishop Ambrose. Then, while he prepared with his mother and friends to return to North Africa, Monica fell ill and died at Ostia, the port of Rome, having after years of agonizing prayer seen the conversion of her beloved son. The description of Monica’s passing has been called among the loveliest passages in the Confessions. Comforting himself in deep grief, Augustine writes, I took joy indeed from her testimony, when in that last illness she mingled her endearments with my dutiful deeds and called me a good son (Bk. 9, chap. 30). A second grief was to follow later, after Augustine had returned to Thagaste and established a religious community, when his son Adeodatus, whose character and intellect his father praised and upon whom he had set his hopes, died.

    Within this religious community, Augustine thought, studied, and wrote, his reputation growing and spreading, the number and brilliance of his books astonishing. In 391 he began a new calling in the seaport of Hippo Regius as an administrator, a complex job because a large mixture of nationalities and religions filled Hippo, and the Donatist heresy was strong. He established a monastery there also, which became the center of Catholic learning. In 396 Augustine was consecrated Bishop of Hippo, a position he occupied until his death in 430.

    In Book 10, immediately following the beautiful treatment of the loss of his mother and the grief attending it, Augustine lapses into an elaborate discussion of the nature of memory, one that has been called the most extended piece of psychology in the book. Because he has completed the mammoth task of recording the memory of his life in Books 1–9 preceding this section, he is naturally thinking about this power within him. Where within my memory do you abide, Lord, where do you abide? he asks (Bk. 10, chap. 36). He wishes to examine his motivation for writing the Confessions. He also examines all his desires, including his love for and delight in music, the arts, and literature, and tends to, by his own admission, err by an excess of severity (Bk. 10, chap. 50). While his rejection of certain things is extreme, probably a reaction to his early excesses, his unwavering love for God and stringent, focused desire to be holy cannot be faulted.

    What is eminently clear is that Augustine is no narcissistic memoir writer in the tradition of so many we see today. This is not an autobiography in the conventional sense; rather, it is a theological treatise because even in the first nine books the reader sees only not Augustine, but also the Lord Jesus Christ. There are always two people on each page, Augustine and God, the stuff of human experience and God, side by side. The Confessions are written so that we might know God and His seeking/saving grace. With that ideal in mind, he includes only those events that manifest how much he needed God.

    In the process, Augustine broke theological ground. Up until this time the church had been consumed with questions of how to define the Trinity, while questions of soteriology had not emerged with clarity. In 397, when this work was written, Augustine was pioneering the salvation discussion (something hard for a modern evangelical audience to understand, since evangelicals emphasize evangelism, and sometimes at the expense of theology). Augustine undergirded everything he wrote with Scripture; the work was a confession of sin, a confession of faith, and a confession of praise. We, in a sense, stand on Augustine’s shoulders.

    What also marks The Confessions is that Augustine never thought of God without thinking of his sin, nor of his sin without thinking of Christ. He constantly affirms that he to whom little is forgiven loves little. His highest happiness was God and His Son, Jesus Christ. Through reflection, as he models, one becomes acquainted more and more with the person of God. Augustine reminds every Christian that great is the power of memory, exceeding great is it … an inner chamber, vast and unbounded (Bk. 10, chap. 15), but that memory belongs to God, its contents to be used as a testimony to God’s work in our lives, a reminder of what has gone before, a goad to holiness. As he concludes, In all these things which I review as I consult you, I can find no safe place for my soul except in you (Bk. 10, chap. 40).

    ROSALIE DE ROSSET

    THE FIRST BOOK

    CONFESSION OF THE GREATNESS AND UNSEARCHABLENESS OF GOD, OF GOD’S MERCIES IN INFANCY AND BOYHOOD, AND HUMAN WILFULNESS; OF HIS OWN SINS OF IDLENESS, ABUSE OF HIS STUDIES, AND OF GOD’S GIFTS UP TO HIS FIFTEENTH YEAR.

    1. GREAT ART THOU, O Lord, and greatly to be praised; great is Thy power, and Thy wisdom infinite (Pss. 145:3; 147:5). And Thee would man praise; man, but a particle of Thy creation; man, that bears about him his mortality, the witness of his sin, the witness, that Thou resistest the proud (Jam. 4:6; 1 Pet. 5:5): yet would man praise Thee; he, but a particle of Thy creation. Thou awakest us to delight in Thy praise; for Thou madest us for Thyself, and our heart is restless, until it rest in Thee.

    Grant me, Lord, to know and understand which is first, to call on Thee or to praise Thee? and, again, to know Thee or to call on Thee? For who can call on Thee, not knowing Thee? For he that knoweth Thee not, may call on Thee as someone other than Thou art. Or, is it rather, that we call on Thee that we may know Thee? But how shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? (Rom. 10:14) or how shall they believe without a preacher? And they that seek the Lord shall praise Him (Ps. 22:26). For they that seek shall find Him (Matt. 7:7), and they that find shall praise Him. I will seek Thee, Lord, by calling on Thee; and will call on Thee, believing in Thee; for to us hast Thou been preached. My faith, Lord, shall call on Thee, which Thou hast given me, and by which Thou hast inspired me, through the Incarnation of Thy Son, through the ministry of the Preacher.¹

    2. And how shall I call upon my God, my God and Lord, since, when I call for Him, I shall be calling Him to myself? and what room is there within me, where my God can come into me? Where can God come into me, God who made heaven and earth? Is there, indeed, O Lord my God, anything in me that can contain Thee? Do then heaven and earth, which Thou hast made, and wherein Thou hast made me, contain Thee? or, because nothing which exists could exist without Thee, doth therefore whatever exists contain Thee? Since, then, I too exist, why do I desire that Thou shouldest enter into me, who were not, if Thou wert not in me? Why? Because I am not now in hell, and yet Thou art there also. For if I go down into hell, Thou art there. I could not be then, O my God, could not be at all, wert Thou not in me; or, rather, unless I were in Thee, of whom are all things, by whom are all things, in whom are all things. Even so, Lord, even so. Where do I call Thee, since I am in Thee? or whence canst Thou enter into me? For where can I go beyond heaven and earth, that there my God should come into me, who hath said, I fill the heaven and the earth?

    3. Do the heaven and earth then contain Thee, since Thou fillest them? or dost Thou fill them and yet overflow, since they do not contain Thee? And where, when the heaven and the earth are filled, pourest Thou forth the remainder of Thyself? Or hast Thou no need that anything contain Thee, who containest all things, since what Thou fillest Thou fillest by containing it? For the vessels which Thou fillest restrict Thee not, since, though they were broken, Thou wert not poured out. And when Thou art poured out on us (Acts 2:18), Thou art not cast down, but Thou upliftest us; Thou art not scattered, but Thou gatherest us. But Thou who fillest all things, fillest Thou them with Thy whole self? or, since all things cannot contain Thee wholly, do they contain part of Thee? and all at once the same part? or each its own part, the greater more, the smaller less? And is, then, one part of Thee greater, another less? or, art Thou wholly everywhere, while nothing contains Thee wholly?

    4. What art Thou then, my God? What, but the Lord God? For who is Lord but the Lord? or who is God save our God? (Ps. 35:3). Most highest, most good, most potent, most omnipotent; most merciful, yet most just; most hidden, yet most present; most beautiful, yet most strong; stable, yet incomprehensible; unchangeable, yet all-changing; never new, never old; all-renewing, and bringing age upon the proud, and they know it not; ever working, ever at rest; still gathering, yet needing nothing; supporting, filling, and over-spreading; creating, nourishing, and maturing; seeking, yet having all things. Thou lovest, yet without passion; art jealous, without anxiety; repentest, yet grievest not; art angry, yet serene; changest Thy works, Thy purpose unchanged; receivest again what Thou findest, yet didst never lose; never in need, yet rejoicing in gains; never covetous, yet exacting usury (Matt. 25:27). Thou receivest over and above, that Thou mayest owe; and who hath anything that is not Thine? Thou payest debts, owing nothing; remittest debts, losing nothing. And what have I now said, my God, my life, my holy joy? or what saith any man when he speaks of Thee? Yet woe to him that speaketh not, since the mute are even the most eloquent.

    5. Oh! that I might rest on Thee! Oh! that Thou wouldest enter into my heart, and inebriate it, that I may forget my ills, and embrace Thee, my only good. What art Thou to me? In Thy pity, teach me to utter it. Or what am I to Thee that Thou demandest my love, and, if I give it not, are wroth with me, and threatenest me with grievous woes? Is it then a slight woe to love Thee not? Oh! for Thy mercies’ sake, tell me, O Lord my God, what Thou art unto me. Say unto my soul, I am thy salvation (Ps. 18:31). So speak, that I may hear. Behold, Lord, my heart is turned to Thee; open Thou the ears thereof, and say unto my soul, I am thy salvation. After this voice let me run, and take hold on Thee. Hide not Thy face from me. Let me die—lest I die—only let me see Thy face.

    6. Narrow is the mansion of my soul; enlarge Thou it, that Thou mayest enter in. It lies in ruins; repair Thou it. It contains that which must offend Thine eyes; I confess and know it. But who shall cleanse it? or to whom should I cry, save Thee? Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults, and spare Thy servant from the power of the enemy. I believe, and therefore do I speak (Pss. 19:12–13; 116:10; 32:5). Lord, thou knowest. Have I not confessed against myself my transgressions unto Thee, and Thou, my God, hast forgiven the iniquity of my heart? I contend not in judgment with Thee (Job 9:3), who art the truth; I fear to deceive myself; lest mine iniquity lie unto itself (Ps. 26:12). Therefore I contend not in judgment with Thee; for if Thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall abide it? (Ps. 130:3).

    7. Yet allow me to speak unto Thy mercy, me, dust and ashes (Gen. 18:27). Yet allow me to speak, since I speak to Thy mercy, and not to scornful man. Thou too, perhaps, despisest me, yet wilt Thou return and have compassion upon me (Jer. 12:15). For what would I say, O Lord my God, but that I know not whence I came into this dying life (shall I call it?) or living death. Then immediately did the comforts of Thy compassion take me up, as I heard (for I remember it not) from the parents of my flesh, out of whose substance Thou didst sometime fashion me. Thus there received me the comforts of woman’s milk. For neither my mother nor my nurses filled their own breasts for me; but Thou didst bestow the food of my infancy through them, according to Thine ordinance, whereby Thou distributest Thy riches through the hidden springs of all things. Thou also gavest me to want no more than Thou gavest; and to my nurses willingly to give me what Thou gavest them. For they, with an heaven-taught affection, willingly gave me, what they abounded with from Thee. For this my good from them, was good for them. Nor, indeed, from them was it, but through them; for from Thee, O God, come all good things, and from my God is all my health. This I since learned, Thou, through these Thy gifts, within me and outside me, proclaiming Thyself unto me. For then I knew but to suck; to be satisfied in what pleased, and cry at what hurt my flesh; nothing more.

    8. Afterwards I began to smile; first in sleep, then waking: for so it was told me about myself, and I believed it; for we see the like in other infants, though of myself I remember it not. Thus, little by little, I became conscious where I was; and to have a wish to express my wishes to those who could satisfy them, and I could not; for the wishes were within me, and they without; nor could they by any power of theirs enter within my spirit. So I tossed about at random limbs and voice, making the few signs I could, and such as I could, like, though in truth very little like, what I wished. And when I was not presently obeyed (my wishes being hurtful or unintelligible), then I was indignant with my elders for not submitting to me, with those owing me no service, for not serving me; and avenged myself on them by tears. Such have I learnt about infants from observing them; and, that I was myself such, they, without knowing it, have shown me better than my nurses who knew it.

    9. But my infancy died long since, and I live. But Thou, Lord, who for ever livest, and in whom nothing dies: for before all that can be called before, Thou art, and art God and Lord of all which Thou hast created: in Thee abide, fixed for ever, the first causes of all things unabiding; and of all things changeable, the springs abide in Thee unchangeable: and in Thee live the eternal reasons of all things unreasoning and temporal. Tell me, Lord, Thy suppliant; say, all-pitying, to me, Thy pitiable one; say,

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