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    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
    Ebook119 pages1 hour

    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

    By AA. VV.

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Have fun with a collection of more than 1000 Chuck Norris' facts. Volume 5
     
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKitabu
    Release dateAug 2, 2012
    ISBN9788867440955
    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

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      Book preview

      Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits. - AA. VV.

      CHUCK NORRIS DOESN'T SLEEP. HE WAITS.

      ISBN 978-88-67440-95-5

      Series: RADICI

      © 2014 KITABU S.r.l.s.

      Via Cesare Cesariano 7 - 20154 Milano

      Thank you for choosing to read one of ours books.

      We wish you a good reading.

      Chuck Norris once was approached by a man who said, Hello, I'm John Joseph Jonny Jr. Realizing that this was an awesomely tongue tying name, he proceeded to give Mr. Jonny a roundhouse kick to the face and stated, Shut up. I'm Chuck Norris.

      ~

      When the Grim Reaper is invited to a Halloween party, he usually comes as Chuck Norris.

      ~

      Chuck Norris could have stopped the Holocaust but he was too busy having sex with an over-sized garden gnome.

      ~

      Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once killed a judge and was sent to Alcatraz just to prove he could escape.

      ~

      China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth.

      ~

      Chuck Norris plays duck-duck-goose with death row inmates.

      ~

      There is a picture of Chuck Norris next to 'Justice' in the dictionary. If your dictionary doesn't have this, Chuck Norris will kill you.

      ~

      Of Sesame Street fame, Bert and Ernie no longer live together. This was after Chuck Norris raised suspicions about their relationship.

      ~

      If Chuck Norris were a volcano, he'd still roundhouse kick you in the face.

      ~

      The only reason Chuck Norris didn't win an Oscar for his performance in Sidekicks is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That's just suicide.

      ~

      It is said that if you look directly at Chuck Norris' beard you will be turned to stone and you heart will explode.

      ~

      Upon arriving on the moon, Neil Armstrong caught a 382500 km touchdown pass from Chuck Norris.

      ~

      Two words that lead us to believe that Osama Bin Laden is already dead...Chuck Norris.

      ~

      Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when Chuck Norris is going to kill you.

      ~

      Chuck Norris never wins at Hide and Seek because Chuck Norris hides from no one.

      ~

      Imaginary numbers are only imaginary because Chuck Norris destroyed them all.

      ~

      Chuck Norris has been Around The World in 80 minutes.

      ~

      Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

      ~

      In Monopoly, Chuck Norris' game piece is a small, pewter, Chuck Norris. He proclaims, Thimbles are for queers!

      ~

      Chuck Norris once challenged Tiger Woods in golf. Chuck Norris completed 18 holes with 3 strokes.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once bit the right arm off of Mike Tyson for unsportsmanlike conduct.

      ~

      Chuck Norris bleeds gasoline. He hasn't bled much lately, and that's why there's a gas crisis.

      ~

      Chuck Norris has good reasons to believe that Mary was in fact not a virgin.

      ~

      Historians recently uncovered Norwegian scripts depicting Ragnarok not the fight between Odin and Loki, but actually Chuck Norris against Robotic Chuck Norris.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once tried to shave his beard. Needless to say, his beard didn't get any shorter. The razor got a nice trim, though.

      ~

      Global warming is the cause of Chuck Norris taking a bath at the North Pole. His body temperature melts the fucking ice.

      ~

      Kryptonite is the only thing that can kill superman. Kryptonite was later to be determined as the bowel movements of Chuck Norris.

      ~

      The failing economy didn't end communism in Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris did.

      ~

      If you can think of a swear word, chances are Chuck Norris invented it while having relations with your mother.

      ~

      When the Americans set off the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, all that was left were ashes, bodies, and Chuck Norris reading a newspaper.

      ~

      Oscar the Grouch, before moving into Sesame Street was known fondly as; Oscar the Blissfully Happy. Then he hit on Chuck's girlfriend. You can imagine the rest.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once won the Gold, Silver and Bronze in the Women's Bobsled. No one ever questioned how he did it.

      ~

      Chuck Norris isn't a gynecologist, but he'll take a look.

      ~

      Chuck Norris plays Four Square using a standard bowling ball.

      ~

      The founders of PepsiCo once watched Chuck Norris lift Mt. Everest and squeeze it until liquid leaked out. They have since tried to duplicate this but have only resulted in the pale imitation known as Mountain Dew.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once took a dump and instead of containing bits of corn, it contained Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears, and the girl from Blossom.

      ~

      Chuck Norris is the only Olympic Diver to ever get a gold medal after performing a 1 1/2 somersault with 5 twists after jumping off of his own boner.

      ~

      Chuck Norris pisses anabolic steroids.

      ~

      Chuck Norris doesn’t teabag girls, he ransacks them.

      ~

      Chuck Norris once ate a box of nails, and crapped out the Eiffel Tower.

      ~

      Ever wonder what happened to the Kool Aid guy? Well, He made the mistake of breaking through Chuck Norris' wall saying OH, YEAH. Chuck promptly roundhouse kicked the flavour right out of him, thus creating Crystal Lite.

      ~

      Chuck Norris was banned from playing baseball after he hit a ball into the middle of next week.

      ~

      When Chuck Norris challenges a play, he always wins.

      ~

      Squirrels bury acorns for winter. Chuck Norris buries little children for mid-day snacks.

      ~

      Not only did Chuck Norris write and direct Superman 3, he also stared as every character.

      ~

      Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in any form of submission.

      ~

      In 1993 interview with Barbara Walters, Chuck Norris admitted to once punching a hurricane in the face. Walters retorted, Hurricanes have eyes, but don't, in fact, have faces. to which Norris replied, Watch your mouth, Hurricane Walters

      ~

      The last person to challenge Chuck Norris to a hand-to-hand combat later became to founder of War-Amps.

      ~

      Deer Crossings are nothing more than an opportunity for Chuck Norris.

      ~

      Chuck Norris takes baths in

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