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How not to run a Hotel
How not to run a Hotel
How not to run a Hotel
Ebook39 pages35 minutes

How not to run a Hotel

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Basil Fawlty has reincarnated in Eastbourne as Harry Pope, he enters into a disastrous partnership with a Californian businessman, and buys a 28 bedroom hotel. He employs Polish, not Spanish, staff, blocks the purchase of a £10,000 ornamental fountain for the front garden, and enters into a hate relationship with Volvo estate drivers. He discovers that his partner has financial feet of clay, his housekeeping staff don’t know how to use a duster, and his general manager could give lessons on spying to James Bond. Read, enjoy, laugh, and cry with him during his trials and tribulations, and then want to learn what happens next.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherAUK Authors
Release dateDec 21, 2011
ISBN9781849899505
How not to run a Hotel

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    Book preview

    How not to run a Hotel - Harry Pope

    Title Page

    How Not to Run a Hotel

    By

    Harry Pope

    Publisher Information

    How Not to Run a Hotel published in 2011 by

    Andrews UK Limited

    www.andrewsuk.com

    This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published, and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

    The characters and situations in this book are entirely imaginary and bear no relation to any real person or actual happening.

    Copyright © Harry Pope

    The right of Harry Pope to be identified as author of this book has been asserted in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyrights Designs and Patents Act 1988.

    How Not to Run a Hotel

    It wasn’t until I part-owned and managed a seaside hotel that I realised just how much I hated the public.

    Of course, it wasn’t one sided, and the public came to hate me as well, or at least I hope that they did, otherwise the whole exercise was wasted. It all started with a phone call.

    My wife and I had moved to the seaside during the summer of 2003, after owning a south London executive chauffeur hire business, with wonderful cars like Mercedes and Lexus. Health dictated a move to good air, and we had enjoyed our guest house very close to the seafront for a couple of years when temptation came calling in the form of a client in California from the limo business asking if we fancied going into partnership to buy a larger hotel. We invested everything we owned into the new venture, selling the guest house, and our American partner sent over his part.

    A lot of hurdles later it was moving in day.

    Part of serving the public involves obtaining a licence to dispense alcohol, and part of that process means sitting in a classroom with a lot of younger people looking at a text book and answering lots of supposedly difficult questions but in reality Poles, Lithuanians, Bulgarians and Russians found easier than a lot of native English. Tick one box out of four to really demanding questions such as ‘if a five year old boy asks you for a large shot of vodka, would you a) charge him double because he obviously has no idea of money b) ask to see his drivers licence c) ask him if he wants it neat or with tonic, ice and lemon, or d) call the manager/bouncer because you think he might be trouble if you ask him to leave.

    I had to take this day-long course, and then four days later sit in a class room with other hopefuls

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