The Lions’ Dens

Acknowledgements

Fall Semester

Chapter One

Daniel Shelby wiped the tiny beads of sweat dripping from his forehead with the bottom of his white t-shirt. Maintaining the dribble of the basketball on the planking of his cabin’s steps, he felt a deadened thunk pound in his head. Sighing, he ran his fingers through his damp hair, turned, and gazed deeply into the summer humidity enveloping Summa Valley.

He bounced his basketball on the wooden porch once more and whispered, Oh, well. He didn’t know if God was listening to his prayers anymore. If asked by the young men he chaperoned, he would probably indicate that he really didn’t care. He spun the ball on his forefinger before dribbling it between his legs.

Thunk!

Thunk!

Thunk!

Daniel ambled into the cabin, stared at the empty beds, and rejoiced in the silence. He snaked through the expansive dormitory, beelining to the darkened room he shared with Scott Portland, the other male chaperone of Cabin G. He pulled the thin curtain serving as their makeshift door before shooting the basketball across the room.

Thunk!

After flinging himself across his bed, he unlocked his cell phone. Again? he whispered, placing it under his pillow before taking a much needed shower..

Toweling his hair, he crashed atop his squeaky bed, rewrapped the towel around his mid-section, and proceeded to return the call.

He thought about hanging up after the fifth ring before a quiet Hello? answered.

Mom? he asked. You called?

I did, Beverly Shelby answered. I was just checking to make sure you’re okay.

There was stoicism in his voice when he replied, I’m fine.

Where are you? his mother pleaded.

Daniel paused, refusing to answer.

Daniel? Are you still there?

Yeah, he answered. I’m still here.

Where are you? she pleaded.

He ran his fingers through his dripping black hair. Why do we have to go through this every time? he replied. You know I’m not answering that question.

His mother sniffled.

Mom, it’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s just-

Stop it, she interrupted. If you can’t tell, you can’t tell. She paused, praying her youngest child would be just a little less stubborn.

You don’t understand. I’m not even supposed to have a phone, he answered. I could lose my job.

What kind of job do you have that says you can’t talk with your own mother?

I’m not answering that question, either.

Daniel heard another sniffle. Can you at least tell me if you’re okay?

I told you. I’m fine, he answered.

Are you eating?

Yes.

You’re not in town, are you?

Daniel paused. I’m not answering that question.

Is there anything you can tell me?

He glanced at the errand basketball lying in the corner of his room. I’m still alive, he said.

Don’t get sarcastic with me, she retorted.

I’m not being sarcastic, Daniel pleaded. It’s just that… He stopped.

It’s just what?

Daniel shook his head. He ran his fingers through his still uncombed hair before answering, Nothing.

Your father’s worried about you.

"Pfft."

Daniel Shelby, that’s an awful thing to say about your father.

The conservative minister’s son rolled over onto his back. Mom, you don’t have to make excuses. You and I both know that he no longer cares about me.

You know that’s not true.

If he cared about me then why was I thrown out of the house? Why is it that you’ve been the only one to ever call me?

Beverly Shelby sniffled again. I’m sorry, Daniel.

Don’t be sorry, Mom. It is what it is.

Why don’t you come home?

He chuckled. Let me point out that I have no home to go to. Besides, I’d probably go back to the Rosses’.

Why would you even consider doing that? his mother pleaded. You know you’re loved here.

"Oh yeah, I’m real-ly loved."

You are.

Can I bring the guy I’m interested in with me?

Beverly Shelby paused.

Don’t say it, Daniel interrupted. I already know the answer. You’re ashamed that I’m gay? Well guess what? I’m not. This is the way God made me, and I’ve decided that I want to rejoice and be glad in it!

She shook her head and said, God didn’t make you like this.

He walked toward his trunk, removed a freshly laundered pair of boxer shorts, and said, Yes, Mom, He did. Still rummaging, he found a t-shirt and flung it over his left shoulder. You know that nothing is going to change me. No matter how hard you pray, I’m always going to be gay.

Tears mazed down Beverly Shelby’s cheeks. Your father and I would like for you to come home for Thanksgiving.

Daniel shook his head. I don’t think that’s possible.

Why not?

For starters, I don’t want to go back. It’s not a safe place for me. It’s a toxic environment. Daniel could hear his mother crying even harder. Mom, please don’t. You know that I can’t stand it when you cry.

She composed herself long enough to say, Well, are you at least making friends?

Yes, he whispered.

Are they good Christians?

Depends on how you define what a ‘good Christian’ is. Dad would probably say they’re not; however, the Rosses would probably say they are.

I’m sorry if you feel that we haven’t supported or loved you, his mother sniffed.

You haven’t, Daniel said. I recall when Dad threw me out of the house that you supported his decision. That’s why it’s kind of hard for me to see any reason why I would be welcomed back after being gone for over two years. Daniel heard the clamoring of teenagers bouncing into the cabin’s entrance. His eyes veered towards the curtain-covered threshold. Mom, I need to hang up.

After dinner he plopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Dude, are you okay? Scott Portland asked.

Daniel continued gazing on the cabin’s rafters. He shrugged his shoulders before saying, Why do you ask?

Scott’s bed squeaked when he propped himself by his elbows. He looked across their small room and said, Because you’ve been unusually quiet ever since we got back from dinner.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have anything to say.

Scott chuckled. That’s a load of crap if I ever heard one. He swung his legs over the bed’s side and continued, In the time I’ve known you I’ve learned you like to talk..and talk..and talk. Please tell me you didn’t speak with your mother again.

Daniel’s jaw dropped.

Scott leaned forward and said, Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me. I’m not telling anyone. He picked up a Bible from his nightstand and flipped its thin, golden-edged pages.

Daniel averted his eyes and started checking out his roommate. Scott Portland, he thought. Do you even know how hot you really are? Daniel shook off his thought, but still managed to whisper, Of course you do.

Scott glanced up from his reading, flashed a broad white smile, and gave his roommate a quick nod. Daniel pretended to cough in his fist and slipped on a pair of basketball shoes. Kind of dark outside for a game of hoops, isn’t it? Scott asked, never taking his eyes off the Bible.

Daniel shook his head. I’m going to take a walk to the library. I need to sit down and write a letter to an old friend.

Scott reverently placed his Bible on his nightstand and cradled his head in his interlocking fingers. To Donnie? he asked.

Startled, Daniel replied, How do you know about him?

Scott’s eyes danced as he paused for an honest answer. Um, you’ve mentioned his name almost a hundred times since you arrived.

Daniel raised his brows. Really? He crossed his arms across his chest. I don’t recall mentioning his name at all.

That’s because you call his name out in your sleep. Scott leaned forward and said, Is he cute?

A thin smile grew across Daniel’s face. For a straight boy.

Daniel sighed and meandered around the beds of the cabin. Some of the fifteen teenagers under his supervision were either playing cards, drawing, or listening to their iPods. Others were focusing on completing their homework for tomorrow’s classes. He rapped on a wooden beam, announced that he was taking a walk to the library. He informed them they were under Scott’s supervision.

You owe me, Danny! Scott yelled from their room.

Daniel cleared his throat and bounced out of the cabin towards the Summa Mountain Sanctuary’s library. As much as he hated to be called Danny he had to admit that butterflies flew in his stomach each time he heard Scott call him that name. He flashed his chaperone badge to the librarian on duty, and asked for the password for one of the Estate’s computers. You know there’s no e-mail or social networking on the computers, she said. We have to protect our guests.

Daniel nodded. I just want to type a letter to a friend.

She handed him a slip of paper with the password and said, Take your time. Again, just be careful.

Daniel opened a word processing program, and began to tap a long desired letter to Donald Ross.

That took a long time, Scott said. The thin sheet covering his head hardly muffled his voice. She throw you out?

The minister’s son gingerly placed a sealed envelope on the nightstand before plopping on his cot. A loud squeak filled their room. Yeah. He removed his shirt and peeked out towards the still sleeping teenagers. Any problems?

Scott flipped the thin sheet he was using for a blanket, stared at his roommate, and said, Nope.

You’re lying.

Yes, Scott intoned. I’m lying. I caught Quill and Alex.

Daniel brushed the curtain ajar. He gawked at the room full of sleeping teenagers. Alex and Quill? I never would have guessed it.

Scott threw one of his pillows across the room. Daniel caught it mid-air and threw it back. Lighten up! You take everything way too seriously. Scott chuckled.

You know me, Daniel said, climbing on his own squeaky cot. He flipped off the nightstand’s tiny lamp then checked his bootlegged cellphone for any new messages.

Scott turned and glanced at his younger roommate. The beams from the moon illuminated the room. He leaned closer and asked, Can I ask a question?

Daniel closed his eyes and whispered a soft, Yes.

Scott swung his feet across his cot’s edge. Are you still in love with him? Donnie?

Daniel leaned over, shut his eyes, and sighed. This time last year I was. He swung his feet over the edge of his own cot. Not anymore.

Scott leaned back and once again held his head in his hands. What changed?

The conservative minister’s son glanced across the room and shrugged his shoulders. Life, I guess.

Scott nodded. Then, pointing to the envelope asked, How’s Donnie going to get this letter?

I’ll give it to his father.

His father?

Daniel fell back on his bed, covered his head with his own thin sheet, and said, Yeah… Dr. Ross is on the Sanctuary’s advisory board. I’ll give it to him the next time he visits.

* * *

The chilled air stung my face as I walked across the campus of Baynham State College. Within a few hours the sunny October morning had already transitioned into a brisk, pre-wintry grayish afternoon. I swiped my key card and opted to jog the three flights of stairs of the athletic dorms.

When I entered, Alden stole a second from the football game he was watching to say, It took you long enough.

I navigated through the maze of dirty laundry, empty cans, and pizza boxes littering our room and plopped on my bed.

It squeaked.

The wind was in my face the entire time, I said. Is it my fault your sister’s dorm is on the other side of campus?

Alden took a heaping swing of his bootlegged beer. While Alden and I had both just turned twenty-one, alcohol was still verboten, especially in the athletic dorms.

He offered me a swig, which a gratefully accepted. You know we’ve been taking a risk with all this beer, my voice muffled behind the college baseball team hoodie. At some point, someone’s going to rat us out.

Alden belched. What’d they going to do? Throw us out?

You might not have anything to worry about, but my scholarship barely covers half of my room and board. I don’t come from a wealthy family, like some people I know. Mom and Dad are still taking a financial hit in sending me here, especially after… I stopped, mid-sentence and peeled off the matching sweatpants and snaked between the mound of trash toward my side of the closet.

I wouldn’t worry about it, Alden said, dunking a tortilla chip into a bowl of melted cheese.

I grabbed a towel crowning one of the dirty piles of laundry and my new shower shoes. And what makes you so sure I don’t? I asked.

Alden, still fixated on the football game, shrugged his shoulders. Dunno, he said. Perhaps it’s just wishful thinking.

I liberated a stray tortilla chip from Alden’s bowl and popped it in my watering mouth. I glanced over his shoulder, watching Howerton University’s offense pound on Eastern’s hapless defense. Is this even a game worth watching?

Alden shrugged his shoulders while swallowing another heaping swig of his beer. It’s a game. Besides, it beats studying for Dr. Landers’ economics exam.

Then I guess I know what you’ll be doing all day tomorrow, I said, heading toward the showers.

Don’t get your hopes up having the room to yourself! he shouted.

I spun on my heel and returned to our room. And what hopes would that be? I inquired.

You know exactly what I mean! Alden retorted, his eyes never leaving the television. Besides, do you know how creepy it is having my sister’s boyfriend as a roommate? He turned and yelled, Don’t use all the hot water! Most of us on the floor have a party to go to tonight.

I sauntered back into our room after my shower, marking my path with tracks from my wet feet. Which party will you be crashing this weekend? I asked.

He dunked another tortilla chip into his bowl of melted cheese and popped it in his mouth. Some of us from the lacrosse team are going to get together at O’Kenny’s. He glanced in my direction and said, You know, you and Aliceanna are more than welcome to join us.

I backtracked towards the closet. No thanks. I have no interest in barhopping for the third consecutive weekend. Besides, I have big plans of my own tonight.

His face rouged. With my sister, no doubt.

Of course, I answered with a sheepish grin. The Cineplex is showing an independent film about the Spanish Civil War.

My sister’s Spanish is not as fluent as yours.

Subtitles.

Alden gave another inquisitive shrug and said, Yeah, but who wants to read their movie? He took another heaping swig and switched channels to a different game. I grabbed the bottle of cologne and pressed a decent spritz on my chest. Thinking about what’s going to happen later on? he asked.

I gave Alden a sheepish grin. Not really. I just wanna…you know-

Score? he interrupted.

Had you’d let me finish, I was going to say that I want to be a perfect gentleman.

Let’s just say there’s no need for you to wait up for me tonight, he said. His typical arrogance was tinged with confident accuracy.

I placed the cologne on my nightstand, opened the top drawer, and threw a box of condoms across the room. Here, I said, flinging the box. You’re going to need these.

His brows furrowed. You sure you’re not doing anything with my sister? he asked.

I turned and said, My father taught me years ago that some things should remain private. Besides, even if I did want to tell you, it’s still none of your business. I grabbed my wallet, student identification, and key card before flinging a scarf around my neck.

Alden popped another tortilla chip in his mouth. What? he asked. His mouth was so full of food that crumbs were disgustingly being tossed all over the place as he spoke.

Just remember what you just said when you’re with someone else’s sister tonight.

Screw you, he said, changing the channel back to the Howerton game. By the way, nice scarf.

Thanks, I said. Your sister bought it for me this afternoon on the way back from the free clinic.

He muted the sound, turned, and said, I don’t see why the two of you even bother to volunteer there.

They do good work, I said. Besides, Coach requires that we volunteer twelve hours a month.

Lacrosse doesn’t have to do that shit, he commented. Maybe you should join us and play a real sport.

I adjusted the scarf around my neck and zipped my leather jacket. No thanks, I said. I’d rather play a sport with a little less-

Endurance? he interrupted.

"No. I was going to