iridescence

iridescence

Finding your colours and living your story

Paul Callaghan

with

Paul Gordon

This is an IndieMosh book

brought to you by MoshPit Publishing

an imprint of Mosher’s Business Support Pty Ltd

PO BOX 147

Hazelbrook NSW 2779

http://www.indiemosh.com.au/

Copyright 2014 © Paul Callaghan

All rights reserved

Cover design and layout: MoshPit Publishing

Rainbow serpent from a drawing by Peter Williams

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to the original place of purchase and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

A New Year’s resolution is common and easily forgotten in our life. A life resolution not so.

Make your life resolution ... your story ... a custom design, a one off, because you are a one off. Work towards it with purpose, reflect on it and even be prepared to change it, but never forget it.

Paul Callaghan

Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint you can at it.

Danny Kaye

The Message

The big sky slumbered in its enormity. The stars looked down on the ancient sands with infinite memories of what had been.

The orange of small flames pierced the darkness. By the firelight I sat, hypnotised by the profound stillness. The crackle and phiz of the embers amplified the quiet as wisps of smoke began to take shape. The Old Spirit looked at me with eyes of wisdom, love and sadness.

‘Why are you all so busy but doing so little? Why do you try so hard to get things you don’t really need? Why do you see happiness as such a hard thing to achieve? Why can’t you be happy every day with what you have been given? What you really need is all around you, but you don’t see it?

‘You have all lost your way. You have forgotten who you are. You are not living your truth.

‘You still have time to remember. You need to remember. You need to reconnect. If you don’t remember, if you don’t reconnect, you have failed us and things that are important will be gone. We will be gone. Everything will be gone … and lost forever.’

Preface

We the authors of this book, pay our respects and acknowledge all indigenous peoples of this earth, past, present and future.

As Aboriginal people from the lands now called Australia, we honour the many traditional Aboriginal nations within Australia. We pay our respects to our Aboriginal Elders across Australia and acknowledge their wisdom and guidance.

We have written this book with love and with a desire to share appropriate knowledge with all who will listen. We do this with the belief that Aboriginal culture has the power to provide significant healing in the world.

We have taken great care to ensure that the knowledge we share is that which the Old People would consider able to be shared with the general public. We respect the special nature of Aboriginal cultural and spiritual knowledge and have gone to great lengths to ensure we do not share that which is not to be shared.

We acknowledge we can only speak from our perspective and cannot speak on behalf of any other Aboriginal people or groups.

Introduction

At 34 years of age, I had it all. Especially for an Aboriginal person.

Being born an Aboriginal person in Australia means that statistically you are going to die younger, have poorer health, earn less, be more likely to be unemployed and be more likely to end up in jail.

At 34 years of age, none of these things were on the horizon for me. I had three qualifications, in the areas of surveying, drafting and business. I was employed by a large university, in the area of promotions and marketing whilst also having a part time role as a lecturer in economics to Aboriginal students.

I was in my fifth year of a very happy and stable marriage with a person I had met nine years before. I also had three beautiful, healthy children, a house and a car.

I was the pin-up success story of what the educational system and various government Aboriginal policies aim for. My path to fulfilment and wellbeing was assured.

On the day of my thirty-fifth birthday I sat on a concrete step at the foot of a building where I worked.

It was 28 September, 1995. Happy birthday to me. As I sat on the step, an observer would have seen a tall, fit, strong looking, tanned man in the prime of his life. If they would have looked more closely at his face, they would have seen a small tear at the corner of his eye. Well of course, on one’s birthday, it is okay to feel pride in what one has achieved and to shed a tear of thanks for the blessings one has been given.

But this was not a tear of happiness. It was a tear of foreboding. It was the first of many to follow. A flood of tears that did not stop for a long, long time. It was a tear of defeat. A tear of loneliness. A tear of stark fear and terror. It was a tear of desolation and despair. It was a tear far beyond sadness. It was a tear of an imposter. It was a tear of someone who was lost in time, space and spirit. It was a tear of acknowledgement. It was ultimately a tear that saved my life and gave me life.

I had spent 35 years chasing the dream. Proving to myself and the world that I didn’t have to let statistics and probability of failure, dictate my life. I was so busy chasing success, that I had not seen the dark shadow of depression watching me with patience and desire. As my career sparkled and shone, the black dog waited for its time to introduce itself brazenly and without apology.

As I wrestled with the black dog and tried to get him to pursue some other unfortunates, I asked myself, ‘Why me?’ I had always been the strong one, the reliable one, the fun one.

I then started a quest and attacked it with the same fervour as I had with all other things in my life. I had to fix this unforeseen hiccup in my great life plan. I wanted an instant cure.

I saw psychologists. They didn’t have the cure. I saw psychiatrists. They had pills, but they didn’t have the cure. I tried books, stacks of books. They didn’t have the cure.

I tried Christianity. It didn’t give me the cure. I tried Hinduism and Buddhism. They didn’t give me the cure either.

They all gave me insights into managing my condition, but they didn’t give me the cure. I was lost in a long dark night, and although I searched many horizons, the light of dawn was not apparent.

I continued this desperate chase for spirituality and meaning for years and then one day, a friend told me he had been invited to ‘go bush’ and learn about his culture. He asked me if I wanted to join him.

‘Would I ever!’ was my reply. ‘But I can’t afford to go to Central Australia to learn.’ I had been told by many people over many years that traditional Aboriginal knowledge no longer existed in New South Wales. It had died along with the old knowledge owners many years before I was born.

‘The knowledge is not gone,’ my friend replied. ‘It is still here but it has been asleep and held by only a few of the Old Ones. It is about to reawaken.’

I had searched the world for answers to fill my spiritual void. Little did I know the answers were under my nose.

My cultural journey started from that point. It has been the most amazing learning experience of my life. And my enthusiasm to learn more grows every day.

All of my life I had connected with my Aboriginal blood line with pride, but wanted to know more. I never felt my skin was dark enough to fit in. I wanted to be darker so people could see that I was Aboriginal.

To me, being Aboriginal is not the colour of your skin but your connection and responsibility to country and all things in nature. For example, your connection to trees, fish, birds, rivers, rocks and stars. It isn’t about how you look. It isn’t even about your blood lines. It is about something unseen, deep inside you.

Paul Gordon

I no longer feel that I don’t fit in. I no longer feel the need to be darker skinned. I have learned to see the magic that is in every day. I am no longer lost. I am found. I am living my truth.

And an important part of my journey has been the learning passed onto me by a man named Paul Gordon. ‘Uncle Paul’ has been given knowledge from many ‘Old Ones’ over the years. This knowledge has been passed down over thousands of years and it has changed my life.

This book provides insights on wellbeing and fulfilment based on my journey. This includes the lessons I have learned from many sources over the years including Uncle Paul. He is a very giving man and I am privileged that he is sharing his insights in this book. He is also a humble man who always reminds me that his views aren’t necessarily the views of other Aboriginal people. Across Australia there is a rich tapestry of Aboriginal stories and divergent views that can we learn much from.

Even though some of the stories are different, they have similar themes. Some of these stories with similar themes travel right across Australia and connect people together. In the old ways, new stories are taken on board as long as these new stories don’t take away from the old stories. Old and new stories can sit together and complement each other as long as the new stories value nature, all things in nature and our place. The stories in this book are some of many that can connect with many other stories throughout Australia.

Paul Gordon

To ensure authenticity of context and meaning, whenever Uncle Paul speaks, I have quoted him directly and written his quotes in italics.

There isn’t one answer to a life of wellbeing and fulfilment. I am not a person with all the answers to life. I am not an academic. I do not speak on behalf of other Aboriginal people. I am an individual who would like to share my thoughts and story in the hope that it helps someone else. If one person gains from my story and thoughts, then my writing has been worthwhile.

If people disagree with what I say, I accept their difference of opinion with humility and respect.

There are times when Uncle Paul and I disagree as well. But we both respect and accept each other’s perspectives and differences. The world has lots of stories and lots of answers. There doesn’t have to be one opinion, one truth or one way of doing things.

This book is for all people. It is about providing individuals, society and corporations throughout the world with insights, models and tools as vehicles of reflection about wellbeing. In life, it is important to reflect on everything you are told in order for you to decide what is relevant, to decide what resonates with you and to decide what is your truth. This process gives you important direction for your personal compass. It will enable you to set sail on the course of your choosing and to successfully navigate the journey we call life.

For the individual, this book aims to assist you to understand your significance, embrace your uniqueness and choose your path in life based on your truth. It will assist you in achieving fulfilment and wellbeing as an individual in addition to contributing to a better world.

For society, this book aims to assist communities to become strong and vibrant platforms for individual and collective wellbeing. Human beings are gregarious by nature. However in many communities, a trend towards isolation and individualism has overtaken the theme of a greater good. This contradicts nature, contradicts spirit and is self-defeating. For the sake of future generations, we need to rebuild strong communities.

For the corporate world, the models can be used to assist businesses to better achieve their number one goal of financial sustainability but in an innovative, holistic and socially responsible way. The corporate world has a large role to play in the wellbeing of the individual, society and planet. It is our dream for the corporate world to understand their broader obligations and responsibilities and service these obligations and responsibilities in a committed, informed and outstanding manner. If they do, we all win.

Many people rush through life with a clear purpose and direction, until, at some point in time, they realise they have been sprinting in the wrong direction. They have been conned. The catalyst is sometimes an unforeseen crisis, or for many, it is middle age. They have been seduced by a mirage of material and emotional wants that they thought to be their path to wellbeing but in fact was a carrot on a stick continuously being moved. They have been sleeping in a bed of false happiness which turns into self-created misery when the mirage fades and reality bites. They are lost. They are not living their truth.

There are others who either rush or muddle through life with no clear sense of purpose or direction. They know they are not on the path to wellbeing but are either too busy or too frightened to challenge their current lifestyle and so the status quo remains. They want the carrot of wellbeing but won’t make the time to think what this means. They too are lost. They too are not living their truth.

There are some who do not rush because they do not believe they have an opportunity to choose their direction in life. They know they are not on the path to wellbeing and don’t believe the carrot of wellbeing will ever be a reality for them. They are stuck. Their truth is an unhappy one.

Every one of us is privileged to be on this earth. Each one of us has a journey, a right, an obligation and an ability to live a life that we feel is true to who we are. A journey that has meaning and contributes to society and the world narrative in some way. There might be many barriers on the road ahead. Some may seem insurmountable, but with insight, faith, belief and effort, the amazing is within reach for us all.

This book has been written using knowledge that has been shared for over 60,000 years. The book aims to provide you with insights into how Aboriginal people were able to achieve wellbeing for so long. You might think that this knowledge has no resonance or relevance in the modern day world. Challenge yourself and read further. The wisdom of the ‘Old Ones’ (those who have gone before us), is like wisdom from ancient cultures elsewhere in the world: it does not date. It is just as meaningful and profound today as it was tens of thousands of years ago.

This book has a number of thoughts, observations, concepts, models and messages that aim to promote reflection on living a better life.

The insights provided are not a prescriptive solution for all people, at all times, in all things. They are tools that can help individuals, families, communities and the corporate world join hands and access the path of wellbeing.

More specifically, if you are:

– an individual who wants to get more out of their life

– concerned about a friend or family member who you think may be lost

– feeling you are wasting your life

– involved in a community organisation

– involved in developing key government policies

– a university student

– involved in preserving the natural environment

– involved in the health and welfare sector

– an educator

– a leader in business, government, a not for profit or community organisation

then this book is guaranteed to be of value to you. It is divided into four parts:

Part 1: The 6 Ls provides a framework for you to reflect on the importance of understanding the past in order to live in the present and create a positive future. The 6 Ls provides a new way to understand and embrace leadership.

Part 2: The Dreaming Tree provides a framework for you to reflect on what is important to you in life including your vision and your life goals. It also focuses on the day to day activities you need to carry out to achieve your vision and the regular activities you need to do to connect the day to day with the big picture.

Part 3: The House of Wellbeing identifies six critical elements that an individual needs in order to achieve wellbeing. Without these six pillars, the path to wellbeing is a very difficult one to traverse. To support the House of Wellbeing Model, Part 3 reviews traditional Aboriginal life and learning with a view to identifying what is missing in contemporary society. In addition, contemporary and traditional society wellbeing is assessed using the House of Wellbeing Model and lastly, Part 3 provides an education model for those society has left behind.

Part 4: Is a short outline of my journey so far. It is included at the insistence of my 19 year old son who thinks it might help someone. I trust his judgement.

Throughout the book there are exercises for you to carry out, should you choose to. They are there to assist you better understand specific concepts and reflect on specific points. They aren’t compulsory, so please don’t feel guilty if you don’t want to do an exercise, just move on and do those exercises that resonate with you.

You will also find there are many, many questions for you to consider. In a similar way to the exercises, should you choose to, they are there to assist you to reflect on but aren’t compulsory. If a particular question feels important but you don’t want to interrupt your flow of reading, it might be worthwhile to jot the question down and come back to it at a more appropriate time.

At the end of each chapter, important messages are provided. The messages capture the essence of the chapter’s contents. A laser is a powerful device because of how it focuses energy. You need to do the same. The messages provide you with points of focus.

When reading this book, I suggest you work through it in the order it is written as each chapter builds on previous chapters. I also recommend you take your time when reading it.

Many of the concepts might seem simple. Aboriginal wisdom often seems simple, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t profoundly powerful in how it can impact positively on your life. What might seem to be a simple insight or comment, could create a ripple that lasts the rest of your life. So be prepared to come back again and again to different pages that have special meaning to you.

Uncle Paul and I hope you find these pages challenging, rewarding and affirming. We hope it will ignite a thirst to listen to other Aboriginal people’s perspectives, other indigenous perspectives, as well as non-indigenous perspectives, throughout the world.

We are but two voices in the world choir. We need and welcome other voices in the choir to create more music, lyric and harmony. We look forward to you being a part of the creation of something new based on something old, and there is no time like the present to start!

The truth is not out there, it is in here, inside you. Are you willing to seek it? And once you find it, are you strong enough to live it?

Paul Callaghan

Chapter 1

Looking Within

This book is written with love and hope for you, about you.

Many people in the world are lost. Some know it. Some don’t. It is important that the lost find themselves for their sake, for their family’s sake and for the broader community’s sake. Finding yourself is not easy and may require considerable reflection and honesty.

Many of us have been living in a world of misguided truth for so long, finding the truth about who we are and answering the question, ‘Am I living a life that is true to who I am?’ can be very confronting. As you read through this book, you will appreciate the importance of listening to other’s advice but you will also realise that ‘truth’ must come from within yourself. Only you can truly define who you are and what you choose to do with your life. For wellbeing to be achieved, you need to own your life and to accept responsibility for your life.

To find your truth, you need to look within. Below are three scenarios to help you start on this important journey. They might all relate to you or none might relate to you. The main thing is that, at the end of this chapter, you have something to think about in terms of your truth.

Scenario 1

Imagine you are walking bare feet along a deserted beach. It is a beautiful beach. It is a shimmering strip of gold with a wash of turquoise caressing its edge. The sand is fine like powder, and there is a gentle roar as the waves reach their destination. They have travelled thousands of miles and are now trying their utmost to touch your feet and connect with you. Water is a cleanser and healer, and the waves want to cleanse and heal.

The sun is out, the sky is a beautiful blue, and you are starting to feel a granule of peace in your spirit. Peace you yearn for, but so rarely find. Life is so busy. There is work or perhaps finding work, there is a never ending treadmill of paying bills, raising kids, supporting family members, trying to eat healthy and trying to be healthy. You might even be contemplating or undertaking formal studies to give you the break you need to get ahead.

There are also the embers of the past that flare up every now and then. They further bury the peace you crave. Past disappointments, past fears, past memories. Out of the blue they come into your consciousness. They are like an unexpected and unwelcome knock on your front door. Why are they here? Why won’t they go away? Don’t they know they are not welcome? But the more you ignore the knock, the louder and more insistent it seems to get.

And then there is the future. So many dark shadows lurk, waiting for the moment to confirm that optimism, positive affirmation, exquisite planning and determination are a waste of time and mean nothing. Your inner voice tells you that believing that good things are ahead is just a waste of time. It tells you that you are an imposter, a pretender and destiny is just waiting to expose you to the world.

Alternatively, the future might be something you are looking forward to as a welcome escape from the present. When the holidays arrive or when you win the Lottery, then you will be at peace and be happy. The present is a struggle but at some time in the future, things will be better.

Juggling the balls of present, past and future is hard. No wonder peace is such a sacred and difficult commodity for you to find, it is the rarest of rare jewels, and so walking along this beach, it is truly wonderful to feel the seed of peace start to awaken in your spirit.

You walk, and you walk, and you walk. The sand is cool from the waves reaching out to you and then retreating, building up energy, and then trying to reach out to you once again. The grains of the sand feel wonderful under your bare feet. It is so good to connect with the present moment. To remember how special you are, and how you are part of a much bigger thing … nature.

You feel solid and settled. You remind yourself you need to do this more often, and if you can’t get to the beach, you must at least start walking three days a week, around the neighbourhood, or perhaps around some park lands where you can feel that connection with nature regularly.

As you walk you can feel your breath starting to labour, and the muscles in your legs contracting and releasing. It feels good to be active and alive. To feel your heart beating and your senses connecting with your surrounds. You can smell the salt air. How wonderful it is. You can hear the waves and a seagull in the distance. Your eyes are looking all around, taking in the moment as if for the first time. It feels good to live in the moment doesn’t it? So often our minds are ruminating over past events that we can’t change, or thinking of things that might go wrong for us in the future. The shadows of regret and fear casting a shadow over our sun. But not today.

Right now you can see the foam dancing on top of the waves, taste the freshness of the air, and you feel positive about your life and your journey. You feel that although you are alone on this beach, you are not isolated from the world. You are part of something bigger. That this time walking on your own, reflecting and finding peace has reinforced how special you are. The granule of peace you have created is now yours to build on.

After being lost in time, you realise that you should start to turn around. Just before you do, a curious thought crosses your mind. ‘I wonder how many of my footsteps have been washed away and how many are still there for me to see? Those I can see are a reminder of my small journey of freedom and empowerment today.’

You turn around, and look back. You can’t see a single footstep but not because they have been washed away. All you can see, as far as the eye can see, are thousands, tens of thousands of footsteps. Everywhere.

Scenario 2

You live in a house that you feel very comfortable in. It reflects your character, and warm memories are in every corner of every room. You love this place.

You have spent years making this place feel like an extension of you and over the years you have purchased little things that symbolise you. There is a special piece of artwork that cost far too much but you bought it anyway. When you look at it, it moves you. There is also a mat that is quirky and reflects your personality. When you look at it, it makes you feel alive.

You have also purchased some luxuries that enable you to celebrate your life achievements and feel special. You have a big screen television that you couldn’t have afforded years ago. You have a coffee machine that enables you to make a coffee when you feel like 10 minutes to yourself. The smell of the coffee as it is being made and the ability to sit down and read a favourite magazine and go to your place of serenity is something you love. If only you could have more time in this place of peace.

Outside the house, things are a little different. You have had to work hard to make this house a home. This has meant you haven’t had the time or money to spend in the garden as you would like. But you will get to it one day.

In addition to the garden, there is the front fence. It is an old timber paling fence. The timber is still in good condition, but the paint is peeled and weathered. It is something you know you can do yourself over a weekend and doing it will feel very rewarding.

After all this time, you are finally about to make it happen. You have hired a sanding machine and sanded back the old paint. The roar and throb of the sander makes you feel alive. Removing the paint and seeing the beauty underneath is exhilarating. The timber is refreshed and willing. It feels like the palings are waiting with delight and anticipation for you to apply the fresh coats of paint.

And that is what you do. You have fresh brushes and fresh enthusiasm for the task at hand. You haven’t felt this enthusiastic in years. As you apply the paint, with a loving, gentle and purposeful stroke of the paint brush, you can almost hear the timber sigh with pleasure.

You have chosen to paint the fence a bright, crisp white. This colour is symbolic. The crisp white colour is a clean, fresh, new beginning for your fence and represents a clean, fresh, new beginning for your life. Things have been a bit of a drag lately, but that is going to change. You have been wanting to do a number of things in your life and up until now have always put them off. Now is the time to make things happen. It is very exciting.

The paint flows. You can smell it as you stroke up and down each paling. Each paling you finish gives you a wonderful sense of achievement because you are doing something you can see as well as feel.

Your arm is starting to feel tired and fatigued as is your back, but it is a good hurt. A hurt of purpose, achievement and accomplishment. The feeling of achievement is so good, that you just can’t stop. You know you should have a rest, be patient and take time to look at what you have achieved so far. But you feel so excited you just keep on going and going. It feels fantastic to be so motivated.

You are now on the last paling. Swish, swish goes the brush. You are feeling relieved that you are about to finish. You are also incredibly excited about standing on the street and receiving your reward, being able to admire a job well done. You are looking forward to opening that bottle of champagne to celebrate.

You walk out onto the street carefully and deliberately with your back turned. There is a trumpet fanfare in your head. Dah-dah! You turn around and take your first look at the result of your fantastic effort. It is unbelievable. But not in the way you expected.

Instead of seeing a consistent row of sparkling white palings, the fence looks like a pack of multi coloured crayons. Each paling has different colours streaked across it. There are glimpses of white, but the white is obliterated by coarse and frenzied brush strokes of black, red, purple, pink, yellow, brown, orange, grey, blue and green. How did this happen? Where did all of these other colours come from?

Scenario 3

When you were at school you loved to write stories. Little stories of things that were important to you. Sometimes they were stories about magical things where your imagination was unfettered and free. Sometimes they were stories incorporating the wise and insightful thoughts of an 11 year old. You never showed anybody, but you knew they were good stories and you had a special gift. The magical and wise words reflected who you were, a creative, thoughtful and unrestricted soul with a light that would always shine brightly.

Then life moved on and became busy. The thought of writing stories didn’t even enter your head due to the overwhelming clutter of other demands in life.

And then, one day, you remembered. You remembered the feeling of freedom. You remembered the feeling of no boundaries. You felt the urge to be creative again. It started off as a distant feeling, right on the edge of your personal horizon, but it was there and although you didn’t foster the feeling, you didn’t push it away either.

Over a period of time the feeling grew and grew. Slowly but surely, it became more visible in your mind and the urge to write grew stronger. You started to once again view the world as a writer. You saw story lines in what some would call the mundane. The world of black, white and grey started to introduce specks of colour. You rediscovered the music in the symphony of life.

One day, whilst sitting in a traffic jam, the jigsaw of story lines came together and you could see a book taking shape. But still you didn’t have the time to sit down and start and so the urge grew.

Then one day it happened. You sat