Devotions for Super Average Kids 2

INTRODUCTION

Meet Average Boy—Again

Name: Bob Smiley

Middle Name: Something worse than Gertrude

Height: Five feet eight inches . . . unless my mom makes me comb down my hair

Weight: 118 pounds, while holding my dog; otherwise I’m 98 pounds.

Hometown: Leo, Texas

Favorite Breakfast Cereal: Frosted Sugar Barrel Bombs with one layer of granola sprinkled on top to make it healthy

Best Friend: Billy the Great and Amazing, who always reads this part of the book

Favorite Animal: My dog . . . for weight and companionship purposes

Longest Time Spent Riding That Animal: Nine seconds (would’ve been longer had that tree branch not been hanging down so low)

Favorite Book of the Bible: James

Favorite Olympic Sport: Standing on the gold medal winner’s pedestal

Favorite Subject in School: English, becauze I’m really very well at it

Daily Routine: Wake up. Have a crazy adventure. Come home and write about it.

Greatest Accomplishment: Telling people about Jesus

Favorite Bible Verse: Joshua 1:9

Favorite Hero from the Bible: Jesus (Anyone who will die for me is the kind of hero I want!)

Favorite Memory: That time I went to that place . . . hmmm. I can’t really remember what it’s called.

Least Favorite Memory: When Billy’s fence fell down. I still say the slingshot bike will work one day!

1

The Skinny on Bullying

I became a hero today! Come to think of it, I’m an unsung hero because nobody’s written a song about me. Maybe you will after you read this chapter.

I’ve always been skinny. I know this because I have a mirror. But in case I ever forget, kids remind me of this fact all the time . . .

You’re so skinny that you can use ChapStick as deodorant.

You’re so skinny that if you put a dime on your head, people would think you’re a nail.

You’re so skinny that your pants only have one belt loop.

You’re so skinny that you could hula-hoop with a Cheerio.

I hear stuff like that all the time. But Kyler’s so skinny that he can dodge raindrops.

Once Kyler told me he used venetian blinds as a bunk bed. He’s fine with the fact that God made him skinny, but some kids at school pick on him. Today was no exception.

It started with Clint and Clay standing by their lockers (insert bad-guy music here). Kyler and I walked up to grab our books for the next class (now switch to hero music).

Did someone order two Popsicle sticks? Clay joked.

Kyler ignored him and swung open his locker door just as Clint jumped toward me to start the flinching game.

Do you know this game? A big kid acts like he’s going to punch you. Then you flinch because it’s encoded in your DNA to avoid bodily harm. That’s followed by the big kid saying the only words in the game: Two for flinching. Then he hits you two times in the arm. I don’t know who invented this game, but it wasn’t a skinny kid.

Anyway, Clint jumped at me headfirst. This would’ve been a nice move in the flinching game had Kyler’s locker door not swung open and hit Clint right in the face.

Clang!

Awww, my nose! Clint said, holding his face.

"Yeah, maybe you should nose better than to pick on other kids," Kyler said.

It was a funny line, but not the smartest one to say. Fortunately, Mr. Gribble, our janitor, walked around the corner at that exact moment.

You boys get to class, he said.

Clint turned to Kyler and mouthed the words, Poor Fred.

As it turned out, I’m bad at lipreading. What Clint actually mouthed was You’re dead.

For the next three hours, news spread all over school that Clint was going to beat up Kyler in the locker room after gym class. I know gossip is bad, but this time it helped. It gave me time to make a plan. I began passing notes to all the skinny kids. I didn’t know if they’d help, but I had to try.

Gym class finally came. We played sock ball, which used to be called dodgeball before lawyers made teachers exchange the balls for socks. All through the game I could tell Kyler was nervous about what was waiting for him in the locker room.

Sure enough, when Kyler walked in, Clint and Clay were already there. Kyler tried to go to his locker, but Clint cut him off.

Look, Kyler said. It was an accident. I just want to change and go to my class.

Not till you pay, Clay said.

That’s when I heard the first towel go pop!

Did You Know?

• Thousands of children miss school at least one day every month because they’re afraid of being bullied.

• In 2011, almost seven million students between 12 and 18 years of age said they’d been bullied during the school year.

• Bullies often travel in packs, preying on the weak and injured.*

*Oh wait, that’s wolves. But it’s also true about bullies, who usually smell like wolves. By the way, if you’re wondering where I found all the interesting facts and statistics I talk about in this book, see the Data Bank of Facts section in the back.

I knew right then that my plan was going to work. I looked around the locker room and saw 19 skinny kids with towels wrapped and ready to snap.

You may be able to beat us all up, Glasses McQueen said, stepping forward. But you aren’t getting out of here without a ton of welts from our towels. There’s more of us than there are of you.

I quickly did the math, and Glasses was right! Clint looked around the locker room at a bunch of towel-wielding, skinny kids who were tired of getting picked on. And he left! He just turned and ran. Clay stood there, but not for long.

Hey, this isn’t my fight, he said. I’m outta here.

Afterward, Kyler thanked Glasses. Glasses told him to thank me, because I’d written a note to everybody mapping out a plan to stand up to these bullies once and for all. Hopefully just once.

So that’s how I became a hero. Let the song writing begin!

Super Average Advice

Bullying can become a vicious cycle, which sounds like a bike with sharp teeth and claws. But it’s not. A vicious cycle is when one trouble leads to another one that stirs up the first trouble again. Pretty soon the problem spins around and around in a circle, getting totally out of control.

Nobody likes to be bullied. Many kids who experience bullying want to seek revenge. But revenge is like building a bridge over a deep canyon. You should leave it to the experts.

The only expert in revenge is God. Romans 12:19 says, Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for His wrath. For it is written: Vengeance belongs to Me; I will repay, says the Lord.

Gathering a bunch of friends to stand up to a bully may work, but it’s not always a good idea. It may escalate the situation, causing additional conflict and pain.

At the same time, doing nothing to stop a bully is like wearing muddy boots in a bathtub. You’ll end up standing in a muddy puddle. (Hey, that sounds funny. Try saying muddy puddle 10 times fast.) Wait, a muddy puddle?

Yes, the Bible says, Like a muddied spring or a polluted fountain is a righteous man who gives way before the wicked (Proverbs 25:26,

ESV

). As followers of Christ, we should stand up to evil. And experts say the best way to stop bullying is to get an adult involved.

If you see or experience any bullying, tell an adult you trust—a parent, a teacher, a coach, your principal. And don’t forget to pray. God will give you the courage, strength, and wisdom to stand up to bullying in the best possible way. When you share what’s happening with an adult, you’re not being a tattletale. You’re being a hero . . . even if you never get a song written about you.

God’s Guide

Read: Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, 12

1. Why is it often better to work together instead of by yourself?

2. These Bible verses can relate to many areas of life—friendship, helping each other, even marriage. How do you think they relate to bullying?

bonus activity

Want to be great at dodgeba—er, sock ball? First, never stand still. Keep on your toes and keep moving. Second, when you want to get someone out, fake a low throw at his feet. If he jumps, throw hard at him in the air when he’s not able to move.

2

Dial R for Responsibility

Last month my parents broke down and bought me a phone! I don’t mean they finally gave in to my begging. Our car actually broke down right in front of a cell-phone store. God’s timing is perfect!

God is telling us I need a cell phone, I said.

I think He’s saying we need a new car, Dad replied.

We have the cheapest, smallest car in the world. The only good thing about it is that parking is easy. My dad just picks it up and puts it where he wants. Or he carries it around in his pocket.

Okay, it’s not that small. But when I first saw it, I thought Dad had bought a riding lawn mower. I got down on the ground, looked underneath, and said, They forgot to put the blade under here.

My dad didn’t laugh.

Dad loves to tell how he and Mom chose the car. Mom said she wanted something that would go from zero to 150 in three seconds. So Dad bought her a scale. He tells this joke a lot, despite the bruising from where my mom hits his arm.

The car they settled on could go from zero to 60 . . . sometimes. It’s not fast, but it did come with the one feature Dad wanted: He could afford it.

Anyway, earlier as we were riding in the car, I passed the time by watching things pass us. Things like cars, an elderly lady using a walker, and a feather caught in the wind. All of a sudden, the car started shaking like crazy! My brother and I thought it was fun because we kept bashing into each other in the backseat.

Then the car jerked forward very hard and died. This was awkward mostly because my brother and I were thrown into the front seat with my parents. (Did I mention the seat belts weren’t very good either?)

Did You Know?

• The Peel P50—which weighs 130 pounds—holds the Guinness World Record as the smallest car ever mass-produced. Handmade in Great Britain, this one-seater’s speed tops out at 30 miles per hour.

• The legal driving age in Alberta, Canada, is 14.

• The Bugatti Veyron Super Sport car boasts the highest sticker price of any street-legal production automobile. The base model costs $1.7 million, but add some options, and the price soars to $2.4 million. The car does, however, go from zero to 60 in 2.5 seconds. (If you’re considering this for my birthday, I like the blue one.)

My dad reached into his pocket for his phone, which wasn’t there. He’d left it at home. Well, someone did. He claims I was playing a game on it before we left. Thankfully I proved him wrong once we got home.

"See, your phone is right here where you left it . . . uh . . . lying on my bed." Okay, so maybe it was my fault. The point is, we didn’t have a phone.

Maybe I can fix it, Dad said. We all had a good laugh at that until his look told us he wasn’t joking.

Dad popped the trunk to get his tools. That’s when I knew his day wasn’t going to improve. The day before, I’d taken out his tools to fix my bike. My bike has an annoying way of coming apart any time I crash it into a tree, which happens a lot. Well, I’d forgotten to put the tools back in the truck.

WHERE ARE MY TOOLS? Dad asked quietly enough that people in Oklahoma might not have heard him.

Probably at home using your phone? I tried.

No phone! No tools! You see why I tell you to put things back? Dad asked.

Maybe the cell-phone store has a phone, my brother piped in.

We walked over to the store, and sure enough it had a phone. Six hundred of them. That’s when God stepped in! Instead of finding a phone, we found a mechanic shopping for a phone to buy for his son. He said he wanted his son to have