Linder in Brazil

Linder in Brazil

By William A. Patrick III

Copyright © 2010 by William A. Patrick III

Published by William A Patrick III at Smashwords.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This work is based on a real trip but this is a work of fiction. Any similarities between real persons or events is coincidental.

"Did you hear, Ash? Linder asked, there’s a big fire around Chapada. There’s smoke everywhere."

These were not the words I wanted to hear at the end of thirty exhausting travel hours in the start of what was promised to be a trip of a lifetime. But I knew not to make the situation worse; I simply shrugged. On Linder’s adventures it was always best not to react, but instead smile and resolve, once again, to not let her talk me into anymore adventures. Next year, I promised myself, I was going to spend two weeks lying on a beach in Maui. But maybe we should start at the beginning.

From Linder’s Journal: (in non-italic and Ash’s comments in italics).

9-5-07 Wednesday LAX to Sao Paulo

It’s 11 p.m. and I’m sitting in LAX for a 1:57 a.m. Thursday morning Copa Flight number 303 to Panama City then on to Sao Paulo Brazil. It’s about fourteen hours total: seven hours each flight. Boy, where do I begin? I’m a wreak in every way.

We had been having low-key weekends to take it easy before our trip and about three weekends ago at the beach I bent over and felt a very sharp pain in my left lower back area. I was stiff for most of the week and then on the next weekend the same thing happened. I was just bending over to pick up a towel and wow did it hurt. I ended up taking both Mondays after the incident off work and on the second occasion I could tell it was serious so I went to the doctor who advised me to get an adjustment by a chiropractor. It had been years since I had visited a chiropractor. I thought I had figured out my back problems with stretches and exercises. I took a friend’s recommendation and visited a clinic near home. They were a big Sales organization with all the works. They took x-rays and did the adjustment. One leg was longer than the other.

Contrary to Linder’s hypochondriac illusions, one of her legs is not longer than the other. Both are the same length. Linder is a tall blonde who may be a bit predisposed to hyperbole; a cough is bronchitis, and after eating candy she is likely to get hypoglycemia. I got to hear about these and more ailments while sitting for hours in LAX, after a day of packing and unpacking an impossibly small suitcase for a three-week trip. LAX is a cold and uninviting place; it always seems to be under construction and the areas that are not usually seem kind of gritty. It is generally a bustling, sweaty, vinyl and chrome jungle where one is best to tread lightly and leave quickly, especially around the bathrooms. I try to read among the din of announcements and screaming kids, while Linder writes.

One leg was longer than the other because my right side was pulling on my left side causing it to be out of whack. I had to make a second visit to view my x-rays, and with the viewing came a timeshare-like sales pitch to buy a package of forty-five visits at eighty-five dollars a pop. They suggested that without this constant care my back would only get worse. I told them I would think about it.

That night I was so distraught that I couldn’t sleep, for hours I lay worried about the trip and my back. What if I couldn’t go? What if picking up that towel ruined my back forever? While trying to figure these things out I noticed that my heart was racing for no reason. I woke Ash from a deep sleep and we went to the emergency room only to find out after an EKG and such that I was fine, but was having an anxiety attack. I had a couple more sleepless nights and finally went to see my doctor again, who confirmed my anxiety attack occurrences and gave me Xanax. I took one before we left for the airport. She also gave me Vicodin for my lumbar pain.

Poor Linder, her back had been good for years and now, right before a big trip, it goes out.

What a mess I am. I’m not sure how all this happened. My work has been very stressful with seven people leaving account’s payable in about ten months. We have all new people who will cover my desk including a guy who started only two days ago. I’m sure all that didn’t help me any. We only have this one big trip this year and both Ash and I have had way too much anticipation for this event and that could be a lot of the problem too. It’s almost like we have lost our ability to travel, with its usual ups and downs. We used to do it so easily; last year we had two trips: Trinidad/Tobago and Alaska/Saint Paul Island and everything went smoothly. I figured we were ready for one big trip so we don’t have to fly so much since nowadays airports seem like POW processing stations.

What she doesn’t mention, of course, is that Brazil is HUGE. To see everything Linder wants to see she booked eleven flights throughout the country. Yes, folks, ELEVEN. Eleven flights in three weeks. Hooray!

One big trip has the advantage of only one LAX round trip; I really think that is all we can bear from this airport.

It took so much thought to figure out where to go this year. Finally I settled on Brazil because I wanted to see the Pantanal. I booked the trip throughTropical Nature Travel, who proved to be really a great company to work with. I dealt directly with Elizabeth, who was the president of the company. I studied the country and regions using a Lonely Planet guide, various bird watching magazines and reports, brochures and lastly, on-line info. It was like doing geography homework to get it all to work logistically.

Ash and I were both interested in seeing Iguazu Falls because they are a world wonder and because we had visited Victoria Falls in Africa and wanted to see how they compare. Our itinerary will include one night in Sao Paulo, then we fly to Iguazu for a three-night stay, and then on to Cuiaba for our Pantanal segment. After that I found an Amazon lodge called Cristalino in a birder brochure and also on-line at Tropical Nature. I figured that since we could fly there from Cuiaba it would work with our trip and add diversity. At Cristalino they have VIP rooms that are separate bungalows that I asked to be booked for us. A little over a month before our trip I found out they had booked us in a regular room and not the VIP room. I was real depressed because I had looked forward to relaxing on our own porch and not in a regular room with no porch, in a building with three other rooms together. When we tried to rebook, they were all filled up. I asked Elizabeth if we could switch things around because perhaps the VIP room would be available at a different date. Juan in Cuiaba, who booked the standard room, did lots of juggling around and came up with an itinerary that puts Cristalino at the end of our trip for four nights, in a VIP room.

My original plan called for five nights prior to the Pantanal, but this works better because we can relax in the VIP room at the end of the trip and have an extra day in the Pantanal. It turns out that Charles Munn, the guy I saw on a National Geographics show about Manu in Peru, is now in the Pantanal. We were able to have him review our trip and he gave suggestions. He just opened the Jaguar Research Center in June. It’s a tented camp in the Pantanal. We will get three nights there. You arrive by boat and it’s supposed to have lots of wildlife there. We shall see. Elizabeth said they will charge a hefty fee for a night there when it gets established. We will be getting in before they are really ready to open it up, like a trial run, at a great price. I had felt that at Manu we got there after it’s hey-day so I’m glad to be able to get in on the ground floor of a new operation in the Pantanal.

I planned our trip to be private, not a group thing, so it ended up costing a fortune. It will be our most expensive single trip but about the same as our two trip years.

Right now I told Ash to hit me over the head with a big stick if I even THINK about planning any more trips. This one has thrown our lives out of whack. Even Ash has been experiencing anxiety. Last weekend was Labor Day and we stayed home in one hundred degree heat, thanks to global warming. We were at Huntington Beach with the crowds and while body surfing Ash hit his head on the bottom and got a big raspberry on his forehead. Then Ash had a big cup of ice that stuck to the bottom of his cup, so he tipped it all the way up and rushed to his face, popping a venier off his front tooth. He went to the dentist a day before our trip to have it re-glued on. The dentist said he needed a crown but we didn’t want anything like that right before our big trip. He warned it would pop off again so I got Ash some Krazy Glue to bring in case something happens during the trip. Poor Ash.

So… before a three-week trip to a strange country I find myself with a big red mark on my large forehead, and a little brown nub for my front tooth. Talk about the ugly American. I get the thing glued on and wear a baseball cap for most of the Iguazu Falls segment of the trip, with Linder’s emergency kit of Krazy Glue stored tightly in my backpack.

I sit in LAX while Linder writes her thoughts and gripes, possible diseases, trip snafus and other concerns among the bored hoards of travelers, in her journal.

Next to me a small group is gathering by a large window. Outside the dark glass jets move about the tarmac. One in the group, a young boy, had a scarf around his head. It had a green background and a blue circle on a yellow diamond. I see it is the same symbol from Linder’s guide to Brazil; it is their national flag.

Beside the boy is a young woman in a short skirt and tight top with plunging cleavage. I silently hope to myself that there won’t be many girls like that in Brazil. I would, of course, be wrong.

We arrange a taxi because we are so tired of shuttles that pick up everybody and their uncle. The driver showed up at 9 p.m. and the one-way trip cost us $120.00 with tip. We still haven’t found the perfect answer to the getting to the airport question. The driver didn’t know where the Copa terminal was and dropped us off three hundred yards from the check-in counter. We enjoyed the night air and walked while thanking God that our luggage had rollers.

While at the counter I notice that our luggage tags said Iguazu—we will be spending a night in Sao Paulo before being transferred there; I have the guy fix it. Boy!

There was also a plane crash at the Sao Paulo airport a couple of months ago, apparently they have runway issues and a TAM flight overshot it right across a street and into a building. That also adds to my anxiety.

Time for another Xanax!

Our weekends before our trip has been so unlike us. We either go to Huntington Beach or to Old Town Orange Circle. We have eaten tacos at the circle for four weekends straight. We dine at a cute Mexican food place called Tacos Adobe that Ash found while searching for restaurant reviews on-line.

We haven’t been camping in months it seems. I sure miss it; seeing all the packed crowds on Labor Day sure did make me long for our mountains and deserts. I miss seeing wildlife, nature and solitude. I tried swimming in our apartment’s common pool to see if it helps my back. I’m not sure if it does or not. But it was worth a shot to try for several days. I also gave up tea so that I might sleep better.

Yippee!

Today at work we had lunch at The Whole Enchilada restaurant which was real nice because it took my mind off of things. I had tea anyway since I knew I wouldn’t get any sleep on the red-eye flight tonight. Ash is reading a book about Judy Garland called Get Happy. He got it some time ago but saved it for this trip; he heard it was a good book about the golden age of Hollywood and about one of its most interesting stars.

When we fly home we arrive real late at night, but since we have the next day off, it shouldn’t be too