What to Do While You Count to 10
By David Earle
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About this ebook
Do you keep hitting the snooze button on your emotional alarm clock hoping by ignoring the day your life will improve?
Do you need a better way of gaining control over your life?
Does your anger cause problems with others?
Do you make bad decisions when consumed by strong emotions?
Would a step-by-step, practical, and proven method to understand and manage emotions be helpful, especially if it were for real people and not theoretical psycho-babble?
If you answered YES to any of these questions, then What To Do While You Count To 10 is the catalysis for answering your alarm and living differently.
David Earle
David W. Earle has a mental health practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). He combines these skills with his executive management experience into a matrix for transferring leadership skills called, business coach. He is also a teacher, trainer, and alternative dispute professional.Earle earned a Master’s of Science from Texas A&M and has held executive management positions in various fields including industrial construction, private investment banking, and corporate trouble shooting. He is now the president of the Earle Company, an organization dedicated to change.He has co-authored two books on leadership: Leadership-Helping Others Succeed and Extreme Leadership; and published four others books, What To Do While You Count To 10 (management of strong emotions) and three books of a trilogy: Professor of Pain (A Lesson Before Living), Iron Mask (Peace is Your Birthright), and Red Roses ‘n Pinstripes (Despair to Meaning). Love is Not Enough (Changing Dysfunctional Family Habits) scheduled to be published the 2nd quarter 2014 and his blog is called: Lessons in Living.Earle has been on the panel as a mediator and/or arbitrator for various organizations such as U.S. Federal Court-Middle District, Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), Financial Industry Regulator Authority (FINRA), Natural Futures Association (NFA), Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC), and the Louisiana Supreme Court. He was on the faculty of the University of Phoenix for over 10 years.His trademarked motto is My Life Ill Change When I ChangeTM; he enjoys tennis and he lives in Baton Rouge with his wife, Penny, and their dog, Fletcher and cat, Hobbes.
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Book preview
What to Do While You Count to 10 - David Earle
What to Do
While
You Count
to 10
Manage your Anger -
Change your Life
David W. Earle, LPC
Copyright © 2011 by David W. Earle, LPC
Smashwords Edition
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. This book was printed in the United States of America.
Table of Contents
Dedication
And Thanks
Introduction
Setting the Conversation
Chapter I
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
About the Author
Dedication
I would like to dedicate this book to all the people I have ever harmed with my unmanaged anger, especially my daughter, Ginger, and son, Garrett.
During the writing of this book, my granddaughter, Whitney Dean, who was adopted at birth, has reconnected with our family and a hole in my heart was healed with her arrival. I thank her wonderful parents who raised her and are now woven into the fabric of my life.
I could not have completed this project without the loving encouragement of Penny, my wife. Her laughter at my grammatical mistakes kept my head from expansion. She told me the first edition sounded like one of my lectures; that was valuable feedback so I rewrote it with a twinkle in my eye. Penny embraced this project and she is as much a part of this book as I am.
And Thanks
I owe my gratitude to the Book Committee
for their valuable insight, humor, and most of all, encouragement.
The committee members are: David Abbott, Michael Atchison, Marc Biondo, Bob Breaux, Graeme Crawford, Dennis Daigle, Garrett Earle, Connie Fabre, Bill Golden, Summer Johnson, Judith Kenyon, Bob Leibforth, Vint Massimini, Connie & Ralph Murphy, Jonathan Repa, Janet Repa, Bill Schulenberg, Ron Schenk, Bob Slaven, Van Landry, Donna Freeman and Jan Zeringue.
Out of that group, I would like to make special mention. I received a very encouraging note from Jan Zeringue; arriving at a moment of extreme doubt. My two Florida friends’ challenging comments really made me think, Bob Leibforth and Bob Slaven. My sister Connie and her husband Ralph Murphy gave me their feedback when I visited them in Virginia and I read their many suggestions at 30,000 feet returning to Louisiana. Bill Schulenberg was the grammar cop who faithfully prepared this book for the professional editor. Bill’s spirit left this earth before he could see the result of his influence and I miss his wisdom and friendship.
I had two outside consultants: Trent Didier did the graphic design on the illustrations and book cover and Cliff Carle (the Sherlock Holmes of Editing) did the professional editing, both were instrumental in the ultimate outcome of this book.
Introduction
Counting to Ten Myth
When anger is used correctly, it can have positive results! However, this is a strange reality for some people. If you had told me during the first half of my life that there is a positive side to anger, I would have thought you were crazy.
All of us have witnessed anger destroying relationships, pushing people away, causing pain and hardship. Thinking about anger in positive terms is alien in most people’s experiences. However, a healthy expression of anger is a component for building and maintaining successful relationships! If you want to use anger in a healthy and constructive manner, this book contains techniques necessary for that change. People who manage their emotions are calmer, the people they love are happier; and this book provides a blueprint for that change.
As a little boy, when I would get angry, my mother would say, Count to ten
. Try as I might, I could not make this advice work for me. By the time I reached the number ten, I was madder than when I started!
Numerous attempts at managing my anger by counting to ten continued well into my forties. With my long history of blowing my top, I often hurt the very people I loved the most. I knew I had to change.
Over 25 years of working as a therapist helping my clients manage their anger, I have discovered some powerful anger management tools. I will show you the coping skills necessary to change anger and other powerful and sometimes destructive emotions into a positive force for good. I had to learn what was necessary to do while I counted to ten and I now help others manage their emotions. The simple formula has proven successful for many of my clients.
When people use the lessons in this magical little book, they are able to express love instead of destruction. I firmly believe you are that person.
Is anger ever appropriate? Yes. What kind of anger is appropriate? Is anger selfish? Often it is considered selfish but what it really conveys is caring; if a person did not care, why would they be angry? Granted, anger can be misplaced and is often destructive, but anger generates passion, and that energy, if used correctly, can be highly constructive.
What about other emotions? Can this system work for the management of grief, revenge, jealousy, despair, etc.? Yes, this system is effective with the full rainbow of human emotions.
Setting the Conversation
On this adventure into anger management, you will experience mental health counseling sessions where two men discuss anger. The client has a very destructive anger problem and is devastated with the realization of the damage his anger has caused his family.
Although these characters assume different names to protect their anonymity, they are both real people and the dialogue is actual. Both have provided their permission to share this spotlight and they agreed to share this very personal experience with you.
Characters:
In these