The Healthy Relationship Toolbox: How to Stop Being Codependent and Start Creating Happiness in Your Relationships
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About this ebook
This written toolbox offers hands-on exercises, resources, and practical insights to help you find fulfillment in relationships. Fear of abandonment, resentment, and consistent anxiety can take a toll on your emotional and physical well-being. Over time, you might develop feelings of overwhelm and hopelessness as well as symptoms of depression. The tools in The Healthy Relationship Toolbox can help you break out of negative, codependent relationship patterns and be free of drama and relationship 'baggage'.
Pamela Castelli
I am a licensed clinical social worker and EMDR Certified trauma therapist who works primarily with adults struggling in their relationships. My practice is located in Deer Park, Long Island, NY. I believe that all relationships (especially the most challenging ones) offer opportunity for personal growth. I specialize in helping individuals heal from the childhood wounds that lead to codependency and 'get unstuck' in their relationships.
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Book preview
The Healthy Relationship Toolbox - Pamela Castelli
The Healthy Relationship Toolbox
How to Stop Being Codependent and Start Creating Happiness in Your Relationships
By Pamela Castelli, LCSW
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2013 Pamela Castelli, LCSW
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with others, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This book is dedicated to all those who, knowingly or unknowingly, provided valuable opportunities for me to recognize and practice healthy relationship tools.
And to Joshua. May the challenges in your relationships help you to recognize your own resiliency.
In the depth of winter I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.
- Albert Camus
Table of Contents
Prologue
Introduction
Chapter 1-What is Codependency?
Chapter 2-Relationship Needs
Chapter 3-Why Am I Codependent?
Chapter 4-Healthy Detachment
Chapter 5-Relationship Boundaries
Chapter 6-Overcoming Resistance
Chapter 7-Developing Resiliency
Chapter 8-Practicing Self-Care
Epilogue
About the Author
Resources
Prologue
This book offers practical tools and creative ideas to help you start building and maintaining hopeful and loving relationships. I attribute my appreciation for and interest in all types of tools to my dad. He was a true jack-of-all-trades, always fixing things around the house. As I tagged along watching him work, he would say to me, See how much easier things are when you have the right tools?
Healthy tools are the key to transforming your codependent connections with others. You might think of this book as a written tool box-each chapter a specific compartment and each concept a valuable tool. These tools are only valuable if you utilize them with an open mind, learning through practice what works best for you. In addition, the tools need to be utilized for their intended purpose-discovering and sharing the best parts of yourself with others in order to bring about positive change in your relationships. It is NOT about changing someone else.
In the introduction, I mention the term Al-Anon. Al-Anon Family Groups is an organization offering information and support to individuals and families who have been affected by alcoholism. Al-Anon support groups are run by and for their members. They developed out of the Alcoholics Anonymous program or ‘AA’, which has been helping people around the world for more than 70 years by offering alcoholics recovery tools and 12-step principles. I have included a list of resources at the back of the book for further exploration.
Al-Anon Family Groups makes use of the serenity prayer at the close of each meeting. I offer it here as a meditative tool for gaining clarity and spiritual healing:
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference
Introduction
For many years, I struggled through relationships, carrying around a knot of fear in my stomach. It would gnaw at me like an insatiable hunger and its intensity seemed to coincide with my relationship status. I was constantly checking the emotional temperature of my connections with other people and never seemed able