Villainous Vic

Villainous Vic

By Nathan A. Jones

© 2012 Nathan A. Jones. All rights reserved.

Cover illustration by Sharon Davey

© 2017 Sharon Davey. All rights reserved.

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Bogamus and Friends Series

Bogamus the Troll

Villainous Vic

Bogamus in Space

Contents

Previously

Escape

Police Duty

Bealey Bugle - Monday

Police Briefing

On the Run

Edith and Vera

An Important Delivery

Bealey Bugle - Tuesday

Town Hall Tour

Out and About

Bealey Bugle - Wednesday

Grand Unveiling

Theft

Police Investigations

Bealey Bugle - Thursday

In the Office

On the Beat

Jumble Sale

Clearing Up

Bealey Bugle - Friday

Justice

Happy Endings

Bogamus in Space

Previously

‘My oh my, what do we have here then?’ said police constable George. As a new recruit George was yet to see much crime in the quiet town of Bealey. In spite of this George was certain that what he could see was not altogether normal. He was looking at what seemed to be a perfectly unremarkable lamppost, exactly the same as all the others in Bealey. Or at least it would be unremarkable were it not for the large sack that lay at its base, crammed full of people’s belongings with the word SWAG printed on the side. At the top of the lamppost there was a man wearing a black and white stripy jumper. George thought he could hear the man moaning.

‘Now sir, why don’t you come down and give yourself up,’ said George. ‘Where are you going to run to? You can’t go up any higher and I’m down here waiting for you.’

‘I’m not coming down. There’s a troll down there. It’s not safe,’ cried the man.

‘There’s a what?’

‘A troll! A big, green, lumbering troll with enormous arms who wants to do bad fings to poor burglars like me.’

‘Excuse me sir, are you saying that you won’t come down because there is a troll in the area?’ asked P.C. George.

‘Yeah, a troll! Big and green he is, you can’t miss ‘im. I’m not coming down.’

‘And he wants to do bad things to you?’

‘Bad, bad fings. I’m not coming down.’

‘And why might a large green troll want to do bad things as you call them?’

‘You see, my name’s Vic, although most people call me Villainous Vic, and I’ve been doing a bit of, er, innocent burglarising this evening.’

‘Innocent burglarising?’ said George.

‘Well, maybe not that innocent,’ replied Vic. ‘But anyway, I was just nabbing some swag when this great big, green troll bursts in. I guess he didn’t like me doing my burglarising.’

‘But surely there’s no such thing as trolls, everybody knows that.’

‘I’m telling you this troll is real,’ screamed the burglar who was in no mood for logic or debate. ‘He’s ten feet tall and green and he put me up ‘ere. I’m not coming down until that troll’s gone.’

P.C. George thought for a moment. ‘Now what if I could take you to a building where there are no trolls?’

‘No trolls? Are you sure?’

‘I can guarantee it. They put bars on the windows to stop trolls getting in.’

‘A place where trolls can’t get in! Are you saying that I could go to this building and there would definitely be no trolls?’

‘Definitely.’

‘How long could I stay there?’

‘As long as you like.’

‘And you can take me there now?’

‘You could come in my police car. We’d be there in no time.’

‘And I’d never have to face a troll again?’

‘Not one.’

‘Ever, ever, ever again?’

‘Not ever.’

Villainous Vic looked around. From the top of the lamppost he could see a long way and there didn’t seem to be any trolls about right now. If he was quick he might get to this safe building before the troll came back. He thought of spending the rest of his days in a place with no trolls. He would never be chased by a troll again, never be picked up and put on top of a lamppost. What is more, no troll would ever do bad things to him, whatever those bad things might be. He would be safe from trolls. He had made up his mind.

‘Ok, I’m coming down,’ said Vic.

‘Very good sir,’ replied P.C. George.

Actually, the troll was real, although only a few people in the town of Bealey ever got to see him. The troll, who was called Bogamus, does not appear in this story, although some of the people who were lucky enough to see a real live troll will appear. Bogamus, who was not a bad sort as trolls go, had a great many adventures, which you can read about in the book Bogamus the Troll. Perhaps you’ve already read it. If not, then don’t worry, you don’t need to have read it to enjoy this story.

As I’m sure you have guessed George took Villainous Vic off to prison. With there being no trolls in prison he might have spent the rest of his life there quite happily, but a few short months later that all changed.

Escape

‘Oi Vic, wot you up to?’

‘Never you mind Tel, go back to your bunk and pretend like you never saw nothin’.’

‘But I can’t see nothin’, it’s dark in here.’

Indeed, in the depths of the night the inside of the prison cell was pitch black. Toothsome Terry, the notorious Bealey Brigand and Vic’s cellmate, had been woken from his slumbers by the sound of metal grating on metal.

‘Good, that way you won’t get in no trouble,’ replied Vic.

‘Naa, youse is up to something, I knows it. What’s that noise I can hear?’

‘I’m just filing the bars on our cell window.’

‘Where’d you get the file from?’

‘You’re asking too many questions Tel. What you don’t know can’t get you in trouble. Know what I mean?’

‘Yeah, s’pose so. But what you doing it for?’

‘I is escaping, gettin’ out of here. I’ve been cooped up in this prison cell for too long. You wanna come with me?’

‘Escape! Go out there, into the outside world! No way, I know where I’m safe and I’m safe here in this cell, with four walls to protect me.’

‘Fine with me, stay here if you want, but I’m getting my freedom back and taking my chances on the outside.’

‘But Vic, I fought you was scared of the outside. I fought you said there’s trolls on the outside. Big, green, scary trolls that will do bad things to hard working criminals like you and me. You said you was going to stay here forever in a nice safe prison.’

‘Yeah I did say that, but fings change,’ the filing noise stopped as Vic spoke. ‘I got taken to this doctor, who told me that the troll was just my mind playing tricks on me.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, apparently there is no such fing as a troll so it can’t have been a troll that chased me up a lamppost that night. It can’t have been a huge, green troll that threatened to do bad fings to me, as trolls just don’t exist. Apparently the troll was just an an-throw-morph-a-fing.’

‘A what?’

‘I’m not sure what it means either Tel, it’s a big word that the doctor used. I fink it means that the troll is sort of everyfing that I’ve ever worried about.’

‘How can that be? I worry all the time and I don’t see anyfing big an’ green chase me up lampposts.’

‘I guess these doctors are just so clever that they invented somefing where your fears and worries can become a big, green troll. Anyway, it don’t really matter, what’s important is that