How I Got The Most Bang For My Buck in Thailand
By M Schwartz
2.5/5
()
About this ebook
The Companion to the cult classic, “How to get the most bang for your buck in Thailand”
A year after I published “How to get the most Bang for your buck in Thailand, the results are in. The amazing and at times overwhelmingly positive responses I received from readers has made it one of the most prideful experiences of my life. It seems like I got a “thank you email” for nearly every book sold. I’ve even become friends with many of the readers. But in having conversations with dozens of my readers one thing has become apparent:
The tips, tricks, and strategies in the first book were so well thought out and so on target, it must have taken me quite a few interesting experiences to get to the level of expertise that I have. As much as people love the do’s and don’ts, they seem to be equally as interested in the experiences that helped me to mold them. Every time I’m on the phone or having an IM conversation with a reader, I allude to one of my personal stories and each time without fail, people want to hear more.
So it’s clearly time for Pt. TWO. This book will include a collection of my most interesting and at times fascinating experiences with women in Thailand. So, unlike my first book where I told you what to do and what not to do, you’ll be able to draw your own conclusions from my most profound experiences.
These stories are real: They’re thought provoking, ridiculous, insightful, interesting, and entertaining as hell.
*** I am also including a few extra chapters of critical importance concerning the following topics:
1) HIV Lies and more lies. I have exclusive information regarding HIV in Thailand; DO NOT MISS.
2) Why learning fluent Thai is not important or even something you want to show off.
3) New Helpful Technology/ money savers (I update the most well liked chapter of Pt. 1 in great detail)
4) Making Money in Thailand (Important up to date/ exclusive information) I don't give you the same tired and unrealistic options you can easily look up; I give you real and practical advice in this department that has worked and continues to work well for any who try.
5) Your Looks -1st I give you a basic guide of things you HAVE TO DO these days to keep your appearance at a level the Thai girl will consider acceptable. The level of acceptability here has changed drastically just in the past few years. 2nd I give you tips to take it to the next level where your appearance will be a big selling point for you, regardless of your age. I give you the best information on this subject you will find, that’s a personal guarantee. Some of my readers need this chapter more than others, but all of you need to read it.
*And as always, when you buy either of my books you’ll have the opportunity to contact me directly and I’ll help you out in any way that I can. I have a wealth of information and resources here; if you need specific help for a visa situation, logistics of moving, negotiation help with rent/buying a home, legal questions, or even just want to see what I think about a situation you find yourself in with a member of the opposite sex, I’ll take time out to help you.
M Schwartz
M. Schwartz is an expert in all things Thailand. Having seen and done it all, there is nobody more equipped to teach about a successful ex-pat transition to Thailand.
Read more from M Schwartz
How to Get the Most Bang for Your Buck in Thailand Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Teaching In Thailand: A Practical System Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why You're Crazy Not to Live in Thailand Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMake Money in Thailand; End Financial Stress Forever in Thailand Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLive Easy, Live Abroad Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to How I Got The Most Bang For My Buck in Thailand
Related ebooks
How To Retire To Thailand Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAddicted to Love in Cambodia: Straight Talk from a Hostess Bar Junkie Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Single Gentleman’s Guide to Bangkok - Your Blueprint For The Ultimate Male Vacation Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5The Sex Tourist Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow Not To Get Murdered In Thailand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Retire In Thailand and Double Your Income Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Settling in Thailand Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Retire-in-Thailand Handbook (The First Six Months): Book 1 in the Retirees Travel Guide Series Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Thailand Red Lights: Tales of Debauchery and a Guide to it All! Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5This Is Thailand: A Story of Love, Sex and Betrayal In the Tropics Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5How to Get Young Asian Women in Bed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Essential Thailand Retirement Guide Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFilipina Dreams: Filipina 101, 202 And 303 In One Volume Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhat the Travel Guides Won't Tell You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Sudhu Nona: An expat in Sri Lanka - the Good, Bad and Ugly Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Fool's Diary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAround the World in 80 Lays: Adventures in Sex Travel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThailand Calling Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Secrets to Live in Vietnam on $500 a Month: My Saigon, #5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSoi Shanties Volume 1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIntroverted Expat: How to Travel the World and Live Abroad as an Expat While Embracing Being an Introvert Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Bachelor Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMedical Insurance in Thailand Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBecoming a Digital Nomad - 2023 edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Thailand Diary: Volume 2: A Thailand Diary, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLittle Miss Noi: A Sanook Guide to the Thai Language (With a Reverse Glossary) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMaking Money In Thailand: Live and Work In Thailand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5That's How It Goes: The Way of the 90-Year Life Journey of a Singapore Eurasian Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFive Crazy Years- Memoirs of a Go Go Bar Owner Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Special Interest Travel For You
Dead Mountain: The Untold True Story of the Dyatlov Pass Incident Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/550 Great American Places: Essential Historic Sites Across the U.S. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mediocre Monk: A Stumbling Search for Answers in a Forest Monastery Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The 12-Hour Walk: Invest One Day, Conquer Your Mind, and Unlock Your Best Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Destination Truth: Memoirs of a Monster Hunter Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Haunted October: 31 Seriously Scary Ghost Stories Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5On Trails: An Exploration Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Unofficial Disney Parks Drink Recipe Book: From LeFou's Brew to the Jedi Mind Trick, 100+ Magical Disney-Inspired Drinks Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIt's Kind of a Cute Story Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Kon-Tiki Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Walking the Bible: A Journey by Land Through the Five Books of Moses Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Walt Disney World Hacks: 350+ Park Secrets for Making the Most of Your Walt Disney World Vacation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDispatches from Pluto: Lost and Found in the Mississippi Delta Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Voyage Long and Strange: Rediscovering the New World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Escape the Wolf: A SEAL Operative’s Guide to Situational Awareness, Threat Identification, a Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Lost in the Jungle: A Harrowing True Story of Adventure and Survival Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge: Traveler's Guide to Batuu Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5She Explores: Stories of Life-Changing Adventures on the Road and in the Wild Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dishoom: The first ever cookbook from the much-loved Indian restaurant Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lonely Planet The Solo Travel Handbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Jungle: A Harrowing True Story of Survival in the Amazon Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Lonely Planet Mexico Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Longest Way Home: One Man's Quest for the Courage to Settle Down Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Buying Disney's World Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Hiking with Nietzsche: On Becoming Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Disney Declassified Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for How I Got The Most Bang For My Buck in Thailand
3 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
How I Got The Most Bang For My Buck in Thailand - M Schwartz
How I Got the Most Bang for My Buck in Thailand
M. Schwartz
Copyright 2012 M. Schwartz
All rights reserved.
Smashwords Edition
DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this book are in no way intended to insult or offend the great people of Thailand. The author has complete respect for Thailand, its people, its government, and its Royalty: namely the King. Real names have not been used.
Don’t take this book too seriously, and please understand that if you act on any of the information in it, there may be a negative outcome. The laws in each country are different and you should understand the laws of any place you visit. The author does not claim to know the laws or any insider information about the system.
Thailand is a wonderful place, perhaps the greatest place in the world. The country, its people and the King should have your utmost respect at all times.
This book was written in the U.S., and any revenues from it come through the U.S., and any applicable taxes on such revenues are therefore paid in the U.S.
WARNING: The contents of this book belong to the author and are his intellectual property under copyright. The author uses a service that diligently fights against any unlawful use, distribution, or plagiarism of the book. We will use the full extent of the law, even internationally, in order to make an example out of anyone who breaks intellectual property and plagiarism laws with the material below.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
Chapter 1: HIV Lies
Chapter 2: Why Learning Fluent Thai is not Important or Even Something You Want to Show Off in Certain Situations
Chapter 3: New Helpful Technology/Money Savers
Chapter 4: Making Money in Thailand
Chapter 5: Your Looks
Chapter 6: The Biggest Slut in Thailand
Chapter 7: My Pussy is So Cold
Chapter 8: I Never Cheat on My Husband
Chapter 9: Call Me Crazy …
Chapter 10: You Mean You Really Only Give Massage?
Chapter 11: The Liar
Chapter 12: Stupidity Round 1
Chapter 13: Stupidity Round 2
Chapter 14: Stupidity Round 3
Chapter 15: Girl Who Was Always Late
Chapter 16: I Didn’t Know I Was Going Out Tonight
Chapter 17: Two Unexpected Visitors
Chapter 18: Hottest Girl in Thailand, Part 1
Chapter 19: Hottest Girl in Thailand, Part 2
Chapter 20: Hottest Girl in Thailand, Part 3
Chapter 21: Hottest Girl in Thailand, Part 4
Chapter 22: Designated Driver
Conclusion
Introduction
When I set out to write my first book, How to Get the Most Bang for Your Buck in Thailand, I wasn’t sure how well it would be received, whether people would like it, or that it would even sell. In reality, you don’t write a book of any kind with the intention of making sales. Yes, I know that sounds a bit out of the ordinary, but once you begin to write for the purpose of making money, you lose sight of the true reason why you set out with that computer and keyboard and began punching those keys in.
So I finished that book and published it and waited. The copies began to sell and that was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. I sat back and watched the numbers come in. We’re not talking about any major revelations of sales here; we’re talking about a fair number of copies though. But that wasn’t what got to me the most.
What I noticed after a short while was that ‘thank you’ emails began arriving in my inbox. It seemed that for every single copy of How to Get the Most Bang for Your Buck in Thailand I sold, there would soon be an email from a reader telling me how much this book helped them or how they found the information within it useful. Talk about stroking a guy’s ego!
These emails turned into conversations with so many of my readers. Either through email or instant messenging or even by phone, the conversations continued and I basked in every single one of them.
I had taken a great deal of time to go through all of the tips, tricks, and strategies that I included in that first book and all of those new conversations got me thinking about something that was swimming around under the surface, waiting for me to catch on to it and grasp it tightly: if I actually had all this wonderful information and advice to impart, then there must have been plenty of trials and errors that got me to that point. After all, you don’t go making the atomic bomb until you’ve had quite a few failures in the meantime, do you?
So, there I was chatting it up with all these wonderful guys who bought that first book and one theme continued to climb out from the depths and tap me on the shoulder every now and then. They wanted to hear about some of the experiences and escapades that I had that led me to write that book in the first place. They wanted to inside story about the man who lived enough in Thailand to impart the wisdom found in that first book.
And I obliged. I would recount certain stories, get a number of laughs or guffaws and even a few gasps of shock at what I told them. All in all, though, what many of those men had to say was that those were some amazing experiences.
Yes, they were. It’s funny, in an ironic sort of way, that you don’t take the time during the actual moment to appreciate what is happening to or around you. Time has to spread out before you for quite some time before it all starts to hit home and you realize just what you went through. Then you begin to understand that in every experience there are lessons to be learned. The problem is that so many of us are just too busy to realize what these lessons were.
But that doesn’t mean we don’t learn them! In fact, I bet you right now that while you’re reading this book, you’ll begin to remember some of the rare experiences in your own life, and then connect the dots to the way you are today with the lessons that that experience imparted.
So, the more I talked about my individual experiences, the more I realized that there was something more to them than simply stories. There was insight, lessons learned, and information that I could still pull from them. That led me to think that a follow up to that successful first book was not only possible, but almost required at this point. After all, how many times can I tell the same story over and over and over to different guys? Wouldn’t it be easier to just write them all down and put them together in one collection of the ‘Greatest Hits,’ so to speak?
I have built great friendships and connections with many of the men who purchased that first book and who have contacted me through the years. It has been overwhelming and exhilarating to think that I have been able to influence lives and shape the way some of these men enjoy Thailand and find success.
If the first book could be categorized as being a list of what to do, what not to do, where to go, and all that useful information, let’s just say that this book will be a little different. This book will tell you the true stories of some of my escapades with different women in Thailand. I figure that when you read them, rather than me pointing out the lessons that I gleaned from them, you can make up your own mind about all of it. Sometimes the best lessons are those we have to uncover for ourselves rather than having them spoon fed to you.
If you’re new to this amazing country or are just now considering making the move, then you’re sure to find some of these stories riveting. Even while I reread them, they still can strike me as being incredible and amazing. While some of them might make me sound a bit brash or insensitive, I assure you that I am neither of those; they are merely accurate recollections of some of the experiences I’ve had here in this beautiful country.
Now, for those of you who already read How to Get the Most Bang for Your Buck in Thailand, let me just say thank you, first and foremost. I hope you’ve found some great information in it that has helped you get the most out of your time here. I also want to assure you that although there are five brand new chapters of useful information in this book that weren’t in the last, this isn’t a rewrite. This isn’t meant to be a ‘second’ edition or reboot. It’s a companion. You don’t have to have read the first one to appreciate this one, either, though I honestly believe you’ll get a lot out of both of them.
The five new chapters in this book are:
1) HIV Lies and More Lies
2) Why Learning Fluent Thai is not Important or Even Something You Want to Show Off
3) New Helpful Technology/Money Savers
4) Making Money in Thailand
5) Your Looks
In chapter 5, you’ll get all of the most important information about what you absolutely must do with your appearance to get the best Thai girls. From fashion style to hair, skin, and everything else, it’s an important topic to cover. The level of acceptability here has changed dramatically during the past few years alone and I will give you some of the best tips you’ll find on the subject, regardless of your age. While some of you will need this chapter more than others, it’s a safe bet that we all need to read it.
Starting with Chapter 6, though, we’ll get into the personal accounts of moments I’ve shared with some amazing Thai women through the years. Please keep in mind that I will not reveal anyone’s identity, but will refer to each of them with the name ‘Noy.’ I told you, I’m sensitive and it’s only right to do that.
And when you purchase any of my books, you will get the opportunity to contact me directly. I am able to assist you with a great deal of information about relocating to Thailand, visa situations, the logistics of moving, negotiating rent or buying a home, legal questions, or if you simply want to find out what I think about a certain situation you have found yourself in with a local Thai girl, I’ll take the time to help you however I can.
Now, without further adieu, welcome to How I Got the Most Bang for My Buck in Thailand …
Chapter 1: HIV Lies
I want to be clear on something; I do not suggest or condone having unprotected sex with prostitutes. It’s stupid and risky to do it and you don’t really need me to tell you that. But, we all do stupid shit once in a while don’t we? It’s like Mike Tyson said in the movie, The Hangover, We all do dumb shit when we’re fucked up.
The point of this section is certainly to give you some good news, but also to give you some advice based on many long hours of research.
I’ll start with the conclusion: If you have straight vaginal unprotected sex with a prostitute who appears to be healthy and clean and if you are healthy and clean – there just isn’t a good chance that you’re going to get HIV. Let me take that a step further: there is about a 1 in 20,000 chance that you’d contract HIV and that’s conservative. So all those restless nights regretting drunk encounters thinking of what you’re going to tell your family and friends now that you surely have aids, well they were sort of a waste. And trust me most men have had experiences like that and it really is a shame because it’s totally unnecessary.
If a man whose penis has no cuts has straight vaginal sex with a carrier, the odds are 1 in 1,000 that he’ll get it and that is a conservative estimate. And again, the odds are 1 in 1,000 if you're having unprotected vaginal sex with a carrier. A very knowledgeable doctor told me it could be like 1 in 10,000 if you're a healthy male with a strong immune system. Keep in mind that women get it much easier from regular intercourse.
But when you have sex with a pretty, healthy looking and clean prostitute who at least showed some desire to use a condom (indicating that she mostly uses condoms), there also isn’t a very good chance that she has it either. If she had it for a while she most likely wouldn’t appear healthy and glowing. In certain establishments she already would have tested positive for HIV and wouldn’t be allowed to work (in some places at least). If she’s pretty, she probably isn’t desperate enough to need to have sex without a condom just to make money. Granted if she’s pretty she may not use a condom on occasion because she doesn’t want to, but at least we know most of the time she would want to and wouldn’t pass on the condom purely to keep a