Life In America

INTRODUCTION

Oh Lord! The people. If you had to think about the people who had an impact on your life, good or bad, could you count them? The ones who taught you some things about others, about yourself or maybe just about life; how could you possibly count them all? Of course, you’d be able to count the BIG ones like your grandparents, your parents and family but what about the ones who didn’t even make a splash in your life? Maybe you only knew them over a single cup of coffee but, lo and behold, their words were profound and you still remember them to this day. How do you measure something like that?

I was fortunate to spend a great deal of time with my grandparents. My first book Some Things my Grandparents Taught me was an homage to them and one of the things they taught us was never miss a chance to shut-up. On the outside, it seems kind of deprecating but that was not the intent. We’re all born with two ears and one mouth and usually when your gums are flappin’ you’re not really listening, i.e. you should listen twice as much as you talk. Like my grandfather and Yogi used to say you can learn a lot just by observing.

If my first book was for my grandparents, then Life in America would have to be for the others who gave me that ability to look at the world, warts and all, to change what you could and accept what you couldn’t change. I tried to inject a little humor into most of the essays; it was never my intention to brow-beat you about any number of subjects. You probably get that enough in your daily life and I’d rather not add to that. I’m just kinda picking up what I learned and passing it along.

So, here we go with Life in America. I hope you enjoy reading the columns as much as I enjoyed writing them. Thank you. Be well.

Mike Proko

Foreword

‘LIFE IN AMERICA’ is Mike Proko’s latest offering to his readers. This book (in this case, an e-book) is filled with essays on a variety of subjects, but there is a certain sense to this tome. No fiction this time, no non-fiction either and certainly not a children’s book. These are heart-felt opinions and a resounding deep seated love for this country we call home. Forget the politicians, forget the monied interests, forget the pundits on the Right AND the Left. This is a book that pays homage to our forgotten middle class, Mr. & Mrs. America i.e. John and Jane Q. Public and the Smith’s and the Jones’.

Mike has always been able to separate the wheat from the chaff you normally see on TV or listen to on the radio. What is found is an underlying love and respect for the people and the families who made this country what it is, from the Canadian border to the Gulf of Mexico, from the Atlantic to the Pacific and all points in between.

His opinions are just that—HIS. In a time where most of the pundits either talk down to you or, worse yet, chastise those who disagree with them, Mike provides common sense opinions and solutions about all things Americana.

If you’ve read some of Mike’s stories, columns or other books, it’s nice to see you again. If you’re a first time reader, well then, welcome to the feast. My brother has always been a straight shooter. And funny, too. Enjoy your stories. Enjoy your ‘LIFE IN AMERICA.’

Bob Proko

Oak Park, Ill.

December, 2011

1

PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE

Americans have always been a ‘no nonsense’ bunch. And they always will be. At least, that’s the way the rest of the world sees us. Think about it—John Wayne, Teddy Roosevelt, Abe Lincoln, Gen. Patton, and on and on. My grandpa used to say: You lead, you follow, or just get outta the way, boy.* Whether it be entertainment, business, politics or even the military, Americans have a way of seeing through all the ‘smoke and mirrors’ and, most of the time, will always do what is right. Even if some of the politicians of late have pushed us in the direction of ‘socialism’, usurping our ‘personal’ freedoms in the name of ‘homeland security’, we always reserve the right of throwing the bums out on their collective cans.

Right now, we are in a pickle here in the U.S.A. Everything is in such a mess, we can’t tell the bottom from the top. How did this all happen? To answer that, I’d have to write an encyclopedia, but alas, that is not important. What is important is the future, our future, and the future of the United States. Listen, we’ve been up against it before and, Lord knows, we’ll be up against it again. But there is a certain magic at work in our country. It’s the magic of the people. How we can all come together in a time of crisis and help one another. For some reason, we seem to be forgetting that. America’s strength has always been in its people. Sure, the politicians will take credit for all the good that happens, but we have a way of seeing through all of that. People helping each other. That’s the only way we’re going to fix what needs fixin’. You have to remember, what was ‘broke’ by man can always be fixed by man. It’s that simple. As soon as that’s done, the people will go back to their respective communities and live out their lives until the next crisis arises.

When Hurricane Andrew leveled Homestead, Florida back in ‘92, a group of builders from Wisconsin donated their labor and materials and drove down to Florida and helped rebuild Homestead. Probably because it was the right thing to do. Two years later, a ‘killer’ tornado wreaked havoc on a town in northern Wisconsin, leveling most of it. Guess who showed up? The people from Homestead. Probably because it was the right thing to do. Americans helping other Americans. That is our character. That is our strength. Always has been. Always will be. So, let us not forget how much we have going for us rather than focusing on how bad things are. Now, let’s roll up those shirt-sleeves and give someone a hand. Remember, in time, they will be there to help you. At least, that’s the way I see it.

(*Of course, my grandfather used to say a lot of things like that, like: Unless you’re the lead dog on a sled team, your view will always be the same. [from ‘Some Things That My Grandparents Taught Me ©2004] )

2

Where are all the good guys?

On the way to looking something up the other day, I ran into something else equally as interesting, almost serendipitous. Looking up some information on the Christian ‘7 Deadly Sins’, I stumbled onto what Gandhi considered his version of the same. Intrigued, I decided to take a detour and see what the little man had to say, after all, being raised Christian only gives you the view from one side of the mountain. As youngsters in a Catholic/Christian upbringing being taught the fear of God by our nuns and priests, we were all too familiar with the ‘7 Sins’ as well as the ‘7 Godly Virtues.’ I must admit I had failed to remember Gandhi’s version but, I imagine, that they ring as true today as they did back in the 1940s when he first shared them with the world: Wealth without work. Politics without principle. Commerce without morality. Science without humanity. Knowledge without character. Worship without sacrifice. Pleasure without conscience. Some pretty heady stuff, yes? And, as timely today as they were almost seventy years hence.

We are sitting on a mountain of problems in this country at present and no one, NO ONE, seems to want to do anything about them. Everyone who has the power to do anything about any of this just runs around in circles pointing their collective fingers at everyone else. Democrats vs. Republicans. Conservative vs. Liberal. Business vs. Working class. And everybody waits. We wait for the next election, maybe a mid-term election. In the fall, we wait for spring or better yet, let’s wait for summer, things are always better in the summer. And we wait. And we wait. No wonder nothing gets done. We’re all too busy waiting. Most of the problems that we now face are monetary in nature, but the political climate must be changed before we can start to fix the business end. In the past, in every state capitol and even in our nation’s capitol, at the end of the day, everyone sat down with everyone else and had drinks and dinner. What happened to those days? Somewhere, something seems to have changed and not necessarily for the better and WE are paying the price for it. Not the politicians. Not labor or business. It’s US. In the U.S. of A.

Back in the day, we had people who looked out for their countrymen- we used to call them ‘statesmen.’ Now, that word seems old-fashioned. But, these were the folks who looked out for the next generation, these were the people who did what was best for the country, these were the people who tried to produce a certain moral character in the population at-large and get people together for the good of the country; leaders like Paul Douglas, Barry Goldwater, Everett Dirksen and Howard Baker, to name a few. What we have to do is put aside our petty differences and do what must be done for the good of our country. And, if we take the lead, then the rest of the world will follow and then we can get back to the business of living our lives in peace and harmony, which is the way the ‘Great Statesman’ upstairs would probably like to see things. At least, that’s the way I see it.

3

ON TURNING 60 AND KEEPING PROMISES

60? 60? 60!! This was never supposed to be. It was never written like this. Not 60. When I was a kid, I thought that if I lived to be 17 that would be a big deal. When I hit 17, I figured that 19 was the mark that I was looking for. Growing up in a world of violence, I was raised to be violent and I was pretty good at it. Even though I took on guys that were bigger and stronger than me, I never backed down. If I got knocked down, I always got back up. I would beat opponents by the sheer fact that I wore them down. It would be a trait that would serve me well as I grew older. When I hit the 19 year mark I figured that 27 would be a ripe old age. And then, life threw me a curve ball and we had our first child a year later. Suddenly, everything changed. I was now responsible for not one, not two but three lives on planet Earth.

But, you know, we are all wired a specific way and it’s very hard to change that wiring. I continued to move through life like a bull in a china shop. My ‘type A’ personality convinced me that it was the right thing to do, the detractors be damned! Through it all, we had a blast. And, I didn’t think twice about working hard or living hard, I figured that guys were supposed to do that. If I got myself into a jam, I knew that I could get out of it. It had always worked before. But, sooner or later, you have to realize that one day you’re going to go to the well and come up empty. And then, Life came along and knocked me down and I had no way of getting up.

My wife had been hospitalized, couldn’t oxygenate her blood at one of the best hospitals in the country. An afternoon visit becomes overnight, then two days, then three. I know she’s dying and I can’t do anything for her. The years of neglecting my blood pressure had come to a head that night. I went to sleep presumably in good health and woke up paralyzed. In that four hour window, life as I knew it would never be the same. My wife, it turned out, would be fine. I, on the other hand, looked like I’d been hit by a bus. For the first time in my life, I would be completely dependent on others.

The years and years of getting back up off the pavement served me well for my therapy. I became relentless because I knew that our daughter was going to get married and I wanted to walk her down the aisle. But the stroke had killed something inside of me—my ‘type A’ personality. And people would become almost sacred to me, their lives, their families, their stories. I couldn’t wait to meet new people, try new things, and on and on. I had a second chance at life, but I had to take a trip to death’s door to figure it out. One of the lines that I kept repeating while I was in the hospital was ‘Life is good- there is much to be thankful for.’ It’s Yiddish but it makes sense in any dialect.

While I danced with our daughter at her wedding, I promised her that I would be around to dance at her children’s weddings. All this from a guy who never thought he’d live to be 19. I think I’ll stick around and see what’s around the next corner—it should be very interesting. At least, that’s the way I see it.

4

On Hero Worship

Well, it’s happened again. Another athlete, that the Almighty seems to have blessed with super-human abilities, has fallen back to earth and crashed like Icarus. He had enjoyed the ultra-thin air of success at a relatively young age but made the mistake of violating one of Gandhi’s ‘7 Deadly Sin’s’: pleasure without conscience- and now stands naked in front of his adoring fans, apparently none the worse for wear. What is this fascination that we share for making heroes and gods out of these people who can run with a football, jump with a basketball or just hit a ball with a stick? How, in our collective psyche, can we rationalize paying a policeman $50,000 a year to protect us and our communities and give a basketball player $10 million for the same year? How is it that we pay a teacher about $35,000 a year to educate our children and give a baseball player $250 million for 10 years?? Entertainment for the masses? Imagine putting an additional $250 million into our schools or brain research or feeding the hungry and that’s just ONE SALARY. What is this fascination we have for ‘hero worship?’

The people that raised you should be the first that come to mind when you speak of heroes; the father who worked tirelessly to put a roof over your head and put food on the table, not because he was paid to but because he wanted to; or the mother who sat up with you all night when you were sick or needed help with some homework or how about the time your young heart was broken? How do you measure love like that? Maybe it wasn’t your parents, maybe it was a brother or a sister who was always there for you? If you weren’t lucky enough to have