Covenant of Hope

Covenant of Hope

S. E. White

Smashwords edition

Copyright 2011 S. E. White

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CONTENTS

1. A last visit?

2. A new way to pray

3. Mild Man

4. Another way to pray

5. Will things change?

6. Talk to your brother in private

7. First thaw

8. The other road

9. A brother regained?

10. Not completely

11. Why not rather be wronged?

12. Why are you blessed?

13. Is there a reason?

14. Feast of the New Covenant

15. Down from the mountaintop?

16. Giving Testimony

17. Cutting strings

18. Rules or character?

19. A second witness

20. To the saints in Ephesus

21. What will we tell them?

22. Declaring the glory of God

23. Keeping the words alive

DEDICATION

To God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, I give this into your hands; do with it what you will. Your loving and creative covenant faithfulness is the inspiration for this tale.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

What do I have that I did not receive? Nothing.

Besides the uncountable gifts from God, I’m grateful to several people who nurtured this book:

• Art, Dan and Tim who led me through the book of Hebrews.

• Ed and Gini who encouraged me not to give up on the promises.

• Carol, Carlos, Doris and Janet who helped hone my writing skills.

Above all, to my wife Ann who sustained my courage and stamina through this process.

1. A last visit?

Time to leave. Jim Kelly frowned as the people around him got up and headed towards the exits. He fingered the blonde wood of the hymnal rack in front of him. He’d sat here in this pew almost every Sunday for six years. Why did the wood look different today? He looked behind him; people lining up in the middle aisle to greet Pastor Blair, no different than any other Sunday. Was he the only one who couldn’t believe what he had just heard? He stood up, looked at his wife Sophie on the stage staring vacantly at the guitar she’d just laid in its case. She wasn’t moving either.

His eyes moved up to the familiar sanctuary window; stained glass of a green hill with three brown crosses. Instead of blue glass for the scene’s sky, it had clear glass to show the real sky outside. Today, outside was a dull winter day. How often he’d studied that scene, wondering why the cross on the left was slightly larger than the one on the right. I thought God was in this place once. Was Tom right? Do we say something, or do we just leave?

Jim looked down at the welcome pad beside him. He’d dutifully written his name and checked the box Member of StoneGate church earlier during the service. There’d been no one else in his pew to pass it to, so it still lay beside him. Besides Member of this church he could have checked This is my first visit here, or I’d like a visit from the pastor. He could write in another box to check off. This is my last visit here.

He told himself to move, got up and shook his head at the people in the main aisle. He went down the side aisle and out into the corner of the narthex. He glanced at Pastor Blair greeting people. What are they saying? Great sermon, Pastor. Knowing Ted Jamieson and all his congregation are under a curse really encourages me.

Jim thought of his first Sunday six years ago. He’d walked in, and really liked the window. When he first saw Aaron, his white hair combed forward in a wave like a televangelist, and the Oklahoma twang bugged him. Ah jest believe the Good Book is a good book. He’d thought they wouldn’t be back. But by the end of that first sermon, he believed in Aaron. After this last sermon, he didn’t anymore. Maybe Tom had been right to go to Jamieson’s church.

From a year ago August, up until three months ago, Pastor Blair and Pastor Jamieson would stand here greeting people after church. The wise old man and the young lion of the faith. Then the split came. Blair announces that Jamieson is moving on, Jamieson sues StoneGate, starts a new church, and now Blair had just preached hellfire and brimstone against Jamieson. Had both men lost it?

Focus, Jim. Get the boys from Kid’s Church. He went down the corridor to the Fellowship Hall.

Brett, Eric, your dad’s here, Linda Pohl called out. Brett and Eric glanced up briefly then turned back to the arm wrestling match between two other boys.

Brett and Eric Kelly, didn’t you hear me? Linda asked. Jim shrugged. He almost told Linda not to pester them. We won’t be back next Sunday. Let the boys say goodbye to their buddies.

Eric looked up at him. Five minutes, Dad, OK? He nodded, and stepped back into the hallway. His mind replayed Pastor Blair’s words. It pains me to say this, but our former friend Ted Jamieson is a rebel against God’s authority. Those who have left for his new church share in rebellion. Remember Miriam, Moses’ sister was struck with leprosy when she criticized Moses. These rebels who were our friends are also heading towards judgment. I say to you, beware! They have entered into God’s displeasure. Don’t follow in their footsteps.

Jim looked up at the round hanging lights. Two months ago his buddy Tom Bradford had left the church. Aaron Blair wants us to say ‘my pastor, right or wrong’ I don’t think that’s Biblical. Jim hadn’t believed Tom’s words then, now they made sense. Pastor Blair had just lumped everyone who’d left for Jamieson’s church, people he’d known for six years, as rebels threatened by God’s judgment. That was just wrong. Jim hadn’t agreed with Tom leaving StoneGate for Jamieson’s church, but he hadn’t written off the friendship. Tom hadn’t either. I’m not leaving you guys just because we’re going to another church, he’d said.

That was Tom. Straightforward and clearheaded. A real mentor, leader of their men’s small group. Tom’s words about faith and business five years ago had helped Jim when he wasn’t doing well at work. At 6’ 5, Tom towered over most everyone in the church. Jim suspected he towered over both pastors spiritually as well. He paced back and forth making a speech in his mind. It’s like this. Three guys, leaders in the church. Jamieson says ‘you fired me, I’m suing.’ Blair says ‘follow Jamieson and you’re going to hell.’ But Bradford says ‘I’m with Jamieson, but I still love you guys who picked Blair.’ Is it any wonder I respect Tom the most? How could our two pastors have gone to seminary, studied the Bible in Greek, yet not get what Tom the layman gets?"

The arm-wrestling match ended, Brent and Eric came out and Jim led them to their Sunday school room. When he came back, Sophie was alone in the narthex, looking as stunned as he felt. He wanted to ask what she was thinking but Neil and Betsy Gavin came up.

Hello Sophie, Betsy said. Sophie stood looking at her feet on the parquet floor. Betsy repeated her greeting in a louder voice.

Oh, hi Betsy! Sophie said, looking up.

Still unwinding from the music? I thought you all did a great job on Amazing Grace. Betsy said.

Thanks. Sophie looked down again, then back at Betsy. Yes, I must be. Sorry. Jim knew some Sundays Sophie did need to unwind after leading the worship music. But he’d guess today it was that sermon. It would be no surprise if she hated it as much as he did. Did he dare say something about it to Neil? Neil was chairman of the elders. Had he known that was coming? Had he approved of it? Jim didn’t know how to ask, so he listened to Neil’s chatter about the NFL playoffs.

Betsy went to the front of the classroom. Living Stones Class, January 17 she wrote on the whiteboard in her angular writing. Jim saw Sophie fingering the torn corner of her Bible cover. This wasn’t what Sophie did when she replayed in her mind the morning’s music. It hit Jim that Sophie had something to say, and was pondering if she dared. Pastor Blair wasn’t in their class today, but his wife Sherry was. Wasn’t it best if she didn’t say anything?

Betsy asked for prayer requests. Sophie lifted her hand. I haven’t heard from Kate lately, but I think we need to keep praying for her mom. Betsy blinked, then wrote Kate’s mom on the board. Jim noticed a frown on Sherry Blair’s face. Did Sherry really think it was wrong to pray for Kate’s mom, just because Kate had left the church? Maybe it wasn’t so smart for Sophie to have said that.

He looked out the window, wondering if he’d say something to Sophie or just leave it. But why was he embarrassed? Sophie had just done what he’d honored Tom Bradford for doing. She was choosing to remember Kate Langworth, even though she’d left the church.

He turned to glare back at Sherry Blair, then thought of a clearer statement. Tom Bradford told me last week he has to lay off six people, he said. He’d appreciate prayer in how he shares the news. Sherry frowned and shook her head. Jim felt Sophie take his hand, but he kept his eyes on Sherry Blair. Tell your husband the Kelly’s aren’t on board with this judgment on the rebels nonsense, he told her in his mind.

After class Jim and Sophie gathered the boys and drove home. I suppose we’re outcasts now, Sophie said as the boys rushed upstairs to change out of their church clothes.

Maybe Sherry was the only one annoyed by what we said.

I don’t think anyone in the class wanted much to do with us after. Betsy wasn’t chatty at all afterwards. But thanks for sticking up for me.

I was proud of you. I’d just been thinking about Tom, and how he’d told us that even though he was leaving our church, he wasn’t leaving us. That’s what I wanted to stand up for, what I’m proud of you standing up for.

But it gets me, Jim. She wiped her eyes. Kate and Steve used to be a big part of our class. Now they’re gone, and we’re not supposed to talk about them any more. It’s like tearing part of my heart out and then saying I can’t grieve.

I’m thinking we’re done at that church, Jim said. It’s just too crazy.

You want to leave for Jamieson’s church?

No. Somewhere else. Say goodbye to both sides.

Sophie nodded, then her eyes filled with tears. As much as I’d like to, I don’t think I can. Not yet.

Jim held back from saying Huh? and contented himself with a questioning glance. Hopefully it came across as ‘please explain’ rather than ‘you’re crazy.’

I know this sounds dumb, she said, but if we’re going to leave, I think I should give notice that they can look for another worship song leader. A month maybe, at least two weeks. Another thing, I don’t know where else we could go. Shiloh Church has organ music, and you know what I think about organs in church. I don’t say no one could worship God to organ music, I just know I couldn’t. Sophie cocked her head as she looked at him, perhaps that was his cue to respond.

I wasn’t thinking of Shiloh. Evan’s been going to New Wine Fellowship in Nash, says it’s good.

That fits what I’ve heard. But it takes almost an hour to drive up there.

Inconvenient, but we could do it.

Perhaps. But really, Jim, deep down, I don’t want to leave. That feels like giving up to me. I don’t want to leave this church. People leaving is the problem. I want to go back to the way things were, where we liked and trusted each other. Tom, Kate and Steve, Pastor Blair and Pastor Jamieson, everyone. All together like we used to be. I don’t want to give that up. Does that make sense?

Jim snorted. Yeah, it makes sense. You wish our pastors could act like Christians and forgive each other. Nothing crazy about that. I wish they could too.

After lunch Jim turned on the TV. The football game hadn’t started yet; they were doing the pre-game show. Jenkins has my vote for coach of the year, one commentator said. He’s brought those guys together as a team again.

Jim sighed. StoneGate church could use a Coach Jenkins. But it was probably too late now. When should they have left? When Tom did?

Maybe it had been a mistake from beginning to end. The church had a weird name, the pastor looked and talked like a red-neck, but they’d ignored all that. Just because the music was lively, not old organ tunes? Because the stained glass window looked different, not old fashioned? Had they been fools from the beginning?

StoneGate. Jesus is the cornerstone of our salvation, the gate of God’s sheepfold, Pastor Blair said when Jim had asked where the name came from. Jim had thought that clever at the time, maybe it was just stupid.

Jim heard Brett shouting in anger. He got up to see what was the matter, then heard Sophie trying to calm him. It was OK then, he could stick with the game. But since the game hadn’t started yet, he’d go see what was happening. He heard a crash, followed by Sophie shouting There! You wanted revenge, I’ve given you revenge, Are you happy now? Brett and Eric ran past him towards the back door. Sophie wasn’t calling them to come back, so he let them go. Sophie stood in the middle of their room, shards of white plastic at her feet. Jim recognized the pieces as Eric’s treasure, a three foot long plastic model of the Star Wars Millennium Falcon. What happened?

Jim, stay out of this.

Jim stood looking at the plastic shards on the floor. He couldn’t believe that Brett had gotten so angry as to smash Eric’s Millennium Falcon, yet that must be it. There were too many pieces for it just to have fallen off the shelf. But why then had Sophie let the boys go, rather than insisting that Brett take a time out, or even a spanking? And why was Sophie angry at him? Hadn’t he come from the football game to see what was going on?

Sophie turned towards him and started sobbing. She buried her head in his chest. Jim, I can’t take this any more.

Take what?

Bickering, arguing. I just want it to stop.

She lifted her head to look at him. I know, I’m not making any sense. I’ve really lost it, I know. Go back to your football game if you can’t handle a hysterical wife. I don’t blame you.

Can you tell me what happened?

I’ll try. She took a breath, and stepped away from him. Brett was upset because Eric broke his robot toy. Eric told me he’d said sorry and Brett wasn’t forgiving him, Brett was saying Eric really hadn’t meant it when he said sorry. And I just lost it. Was our family going to fall apart like our church has fallen apart? So I smashed Eric’s spaceship, and told Brett I’d given him revenge, how did he like that? They ran out of here. I don’t blame them when their mother’s gone psycho.

Sophie, you’re not psycho. You got upset; you overreacted, now you’re ready to say you’re sorry. Aren’t you?

She sighed. Yes, I guess so. Let’s go find the boys.

She stepped to the door, then turned back to him. Can I say one thing first? she said. At church, Pastor Jamieson is suing Pastor Blair for firing him. Pastor Blair just got through telling us everyone following Jamieson is heading for hell. Now I get a bit overdramatic in dealing with my sons’ arguing. Yet I’m the one with a temper problem?

Jim shrugged.

Yeah, I know, she said. I can hear my dad saying it. Two wrongs don’t make a right. That was even the point I was trying to get Brett to see in my mad way.

She came into his arms again. Thanks she said.

Thanks for what.

For not calling me crazy and going back to your football game. For wanting to know what happened and not calling me crazy when you found out.

That night when Jim came to bed, Sophie lay with her lamp on, but she wasn’t reading. Jim, I just can’t believe I did that. Where did that come from?

Jim hugged her.

Do you think Eric really forgave me when I said I was sorry? He gave me a blank look for a while.

I think so.

Really?

Yeah. I think the blank look was him thinking it through.

I still can’t believe I did that, though.

Sophie, I know this is a cliché. But Eric’s forgiven you, God’s forgiven you, maybe you’re the one who hasn’t forgiven you.

Yeah. Could be.

Jim lay back and started to think where he could find another Millennium Falcon model. He’d found that one on the Internet. Could he find another nearby and not have to wait days for it to be shipped?

He chuckled thinking how in the movies, the Millennium Falcon had always survived the fury of the Empire. But that model was no match for his wife’s anger.

What’s funny? she asked.

I’m sorry, he said. I’m being silly.

What?

I was just thinking how Darth Vader tried everything he could for three movies to destroy that ship. But you smashed it to pieces in a few seconds.

Oh.

I’m sorry, that’s really pretty stupid.

No, you’re right. I’d fallen prey to the dark side. Have I got that right?

Yes.

She looked up at the ceiling, giggled and began to sing. Doom doom doom, da-da doom, da-da doom.

You know the music? I thought you’ve never watched the movies.

Music I know. I’ve overheard it enough times anyway, the number of times my three boys have watched those films. Thanks for giving me a chuckle in all this.

2. A new way to pray

Monday morning, Jim sat down in his burgundy recliner with his morning coffee, opened his Bible at his bookmark, glanced at the Old Testament passage and began thinking about the church. It still surprised him that Sophie didn’t want to leave the church. She’d always been the pessimistic one before.

Last August when Pastor Blair had announced Ted Jamieson was leaving, it had sounded like a mutually agreed on separation. The next week Ted Jamieson had sent his angry letter to the whole congregation. He could still remember the worst paragraphs even though he hadn’t read it in weeks:

Ever since their hasty decision to reject me as assistant pastor, Aaron Blair and the elders have consistently blocked all my efforts to tell my side of the issues that divided us….

Aaron Blair’s insistence that he knows what really happened at events he did not witness is disturbing. Can StoneGate prosper under a spiritual leader who insists he alone is right, instead of seeking out and listening to the truth?

He’d said to Sophie it couldn’t be as bad as it sounded. You’re hopeful, Jim, I’m not she’d said. She’d not gone to the congregational meeting discussing Jamieson’s letter. He had tried to encourage her; he’d tried to be inspiring. Sophie, we can think everything is falling apart, or we can believe God has his hand on our church pastors, and things will come back together. I think we ought to believe. He’d felt pride in that speech, but she’d just looked at him quizzically. She’d been right, he’d been dumb. How he wished he could take back those inane words.

Ted Jamieson had come with his lawyer to the meeting, then sued the church for wrongful dismissal. A third of the church left. Pastor Blair then preached sermon after sermon about obedience to the pastor of your church. Now he’d come to the doctrine that everyone in Jamieson’s new church were going to hell. God has his hands on our pastors, had to be one of the stupidest things he’d ever said.

Jim groaned aloud. Who had he thought he was? Some giant of faith? He smacked his head at the inanity of his comments. He looked down the hall. Had Sophie heard him smack his head just now? All this wasn’t doing his devotions. Where was he supposed to be reading exactly?

What had the argument been about? Pastor Blair said he wasn’t blaming Ted Jamieson that his college age nephew Nathan had bought beer for two high school boys he was driving home from the youth retreat. But most of the congregational meeting had been Blair saying Ted Jamieson had never told him about the upcoming retreat, and Jamieson insisting he had. Jim didn’t get it. He and Sophie had discussions like that dozens of times.

Why didn’t you tell me about …?

I did, the night when …,

I don’t remember.

They each knew that they didn’t remember everything they were told, nor was the memory of having told something always infallible. But Pastor Jamieson and Pastor Blair insisted the other’s memory was wrong. Was that really all there was to the split?

Jim sighed. Hadn’t he done what you were supposed to do? He’d believed, and he’d gone to the Lord in prayer. Why hadn’t the prayer worked? Prayer isn’t convincing God how much you believe by your fancy words, or how loud you can shout to him, Pastor Blair often said. Prayer is telling God what’s on your heart and asking for what you need. He’d certainly asked, what good had it done?

Jim snorted. What did Pastor Blair really know about prayer? Last Sunday, like every other Sunday, he’d bowed his head and said, Lord may these words not be my words, but yours. That hadn’t stopped him from preaching damnation against Ted Jamieson’s whole congregation.

Jim had prayed for the church, and God hadn’t answered. Since it couldn’t be God’s fault, there must have been something wrong about the way he prayed. Maybe he needed to get loud. Maybe he needed to find better words to say. Who was it who said insanity was to keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results? Maybe he needed to pray differently.

He thought of his cousin Marie’s church. They certainly prayed differently. Three years ago they’d visited Don and Marie in the middle of nowhere down in South Carolina. While Pastor Blair sounded redneck, that church was redneck to the core. The Divine Apostolic Church of the Blood, a cement block building that looked like a large tool shed. Jim and Sophie’s eyes had met when they stopped at the church. ‘Are you sure about this place?’ was her unspoken question. No, but we’re here, lets go through with it he’d wanted to say. He could remember that pastor’s opening prayer. Lord, we stand here on your Blood, and in the Blood we come against the spirit of worldliness, the spirit of compromise, the spirit of lack-a-daisy church as we’ve always done it,

Should he pray that to God? Lord, I stand against, no it had been come against. Jim tried again. Lord, in your blood, we stand. Oppose this spirit of arguing, of controversy. Jim stopped. Those words sounded strange, yet exciting too. But was it really some evil spirit that had provoked the split? Wasn’t it plain old Aaron Blair and Ted Jamieson? Lord, if you want me to pray differently, you’ll have to show me.

On the drive to work, he turned on the oldies station, then turned to Sophie’s favorite Christian station, but each one played songs he’d heard a dozen times before. He scanned past two rap stations and a talk station, then landed on another Christian station. The song he heard ending was what Sophie would call Old School. The next song sounded better, then he realized it was the music intro for a preacher. He almost pressed scan again, but didn’t.

Today I want to talk to you about the prayer God answers, the preacher said, in a calm voice that encouraged Jim to keep listening. There’s a lot of anemic prayer out there, mediocre prayer. Save us from mediocre prayer, Lord. Can I get an Amen on that? Jim didn’t say Amen out loud, but nodded his head in affirmation.

What does Jesus tell us? ‘So Jesus answered and said to them, Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.’ "

Jesus is saying we must believe we will receive what we ask for. Many times we don’t believe. Sometimes we don’t even ask for a specific thing. ‘Lord, if it’s your will, heal me, heal my brother.’ That’s a wimpy prayer. God won’t answer it. I didn’t say so, Jesus did. You must believe in what you ask for, then you receive it.

Now someone will say, Pastor that’s wrong. That’s name it and claim it, Prosperity Gospel preaching. Let me explain. First, remember this is Jesus’ teaching, not mine. Second, the problem with prosperity gospel prayer is not how they pray, but what they pray for. When the focus of your prayer is getting wealth for yourself, that is false prayer. That is a Prosperity Gospel prayer, and you won’t get what you ask, even when you believe it in your heart. James says we don’t get answers to our prayers when we pray selfishly. Praying for my wealth and prosperity first and foremost is selfish. But when I pray in faith for the spiritual prosperity of this church, when I pray in faith for the healing of my brothers and sisters, the healing that Jesus already died for, that isn’t false prayer. I can have faith for that. And if I don’t have faith, my prayer won’t do any good.

The car behind him honked, Jim started and drove forward realizing the light had turned green seconds ago while he’d been caught up in this preacher’s message.

Let me tell you how I learned this truth. My son was in an accident three years ago, was taken to the hospital in a coma. We all prayed, but he didn’t come to. Satan wanted us to give up, I know. The doctor had told us if he didn’t come out of the coma within a week, chances are it would be permanent. On the sixth day my wife and I were alone in that room. We’d asked the church people to wait outside. Maybe some thought we were giving up hope and saying goodbye. But I stood there at the bed and prayed right out loud. ‘Lord’ I said, ‘the doctor doesn’t give us hope. But we never hoped in the doctor, we hope in you. Lord, bring back your boy, the boy you gave us to raise in the fear and admonition of you. Lord, do this today, that the doctor will see, that the church will see, that this whole town will see there is a God in this town, a living God.

Now there wasn’t any sign from heaven in that moment. Our son didn’t open his eyes or start stirring in the bed that instant. But I went out of that room knowing that I’d prayed, and knowing God would bring back my son. He opened his eyes that night, a bit before 11 pm. This year, my son finished college, and he’s starting seminary. He’s engaged to a fine young woman of God, and will bring the Gospel to many souls, I’m sure.

Jim asked himself if he had faith that God could heal StoneGate church. He first thought was no. Why didn’t he have faith? God was greater than the church split, wasn’t he? He ought to have faith, and pray that the church would be healed. Lord, bring your church back together, he prayed aloud.

What would a healed church look like? Tom back in the sanctuary next Sunday, shaking his hand. Kate coming in, and Sophie giving her a hug. Ted Jamieson walking up to Pastor Blair in the pulpit.

Do you forgive me?

Yes, do you forgive me?

Jim started to tell himself to stop daydreaming. But he wasn’t daydreaming, was he? God could certainly do it. Jim needed to have faith. Did he have enough faith that this could happen?

How could he show he had faith? He could thank God for what He would do. Thank you for healing our church. Thank you for bringing us back together. For Aaron Blair and Ted Jamieson standing shoulder to shoulder once again. For our good friends to be back together in every way. Jim again pictured standing with Tom, Sophie with Kate, looking up at Pastor Blair and Pastor Jamieson together in the pulpit. What a day that would be!

And if he had faith it would happen, should he not have faith it would happen soon? The preacher had seen his son in a coma for six days. This split had gone on for months. Let it be today that it ended. God could do it. Shouldn’t he believe? The audacity of the request appealed to him. Hadn’t the church been divided long enough?

Yet how could he, Jim Kelly, driving to work on a Monday morning, think his prayers would heal StoneGate church? Wasn’t he making too much of himself? But he wasn’t making much of himself, he was trusting God to do it. Did he know he was the only one asking God to heal the church?

His first appointment was to show Don Michaels, the office manager, his schedule for the week. Don, stout and balding, looked at the schedule, nodded in approval. He told Jim about booking his coming trip to Florida, how the hotel in Orlando had needed three calls before getting the right reservation dates. Jim listened, his mind wandering back to the church. When the split was healed, he should invite Don one Sunday. Don was a decent guy to work for, but probably didn’t know the Lord. Don sometimes said our church about Nordburg Community church, but Jim didn’t think he went that often. Did that church really preach the Gospel anyway? They’d visited it the week before they’d visited StoneGate. Jim remembered the