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    Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life
    Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life
    Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life
    Ebook200 pages4 hours

    Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life

    By Margalis Fjelstad

    3.5/5

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    About this ebook

    People with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorders have a serious mental illness that primarily affects their intimate, personal, and family relationships. Often they appear to be normally functioning at work and in public interactions, and Narcissists may even be highly effective, in the short term, in some work or social situations. However, in intimate relationships, they can be emotional, aggressive, demeaning, illogical, paranoid, accusing, and controlling—in the extreme. Their ability to function normally or pleasantly can suddenly change in an instant, like flipping a switch. These negative behaviors don’t happen once in a while, they happen almost continuously in their intimate relationships and most often, and especially with their Caretaker family member.

    Here, Margalis Fjelstad describes how people get into a Caretaker role with a Borderline or Narcissist, and how they can get out. Caretakers give up their sense of self to become who and what the Borderline or Narcissist needs them to be. This compromises the Caretaker’s self-esteem, distorts their thinking processes, and locks them into a Victim-Persecutor-Rescuer pattern with the Borderline or Narcissist. The book looks at the underlying rules and expectations in these relationships and shows Caretaker’s how to move themselves out of these rigid interactions and into a healthier, more productive, and positive lifestyle—with or without the Borderline/Narcissistic partner or family member. It describes how to get out of destructive interactions with the Borderline or Narcissist and how to take new, more effective actions to focus on personal wants, needs, and life goals while allowing the Borderline or Narcissist to take care of themselves. It presents a realistic, yet compassionate, attitude toward the self-destructive nature of these relationships, and gives real life examples of how individuals have let go of their Caretaker behaviors with creative and effective solutions.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRowmanLittlefield
    Release dateFeb 7, 2013
    ISBN9781442220195
    Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life

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    Reviews for Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist

    3.5/5

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    • 1/5
      Borderline and narcissism are quite different. I find this title insensitive towards people's pain. I don't know about what a narcissist goes through, but when it comes to borderline people, by writing something like this, you don't do anything else than making the world an even colder place for them. As if the pain they live through, not by choice, is a reason for which they should be avoided.
    • 1/5
      First off Borderlines didn’t get here on our own, we were made the way we are by other people and traumas. Second, stop grouping us in with narcissistic personality disorder, THEY. ARE. NOT. EVEN. REMOTELY. THE. SAME. THING. That’s like comparing asthma to diabetes, or cancer to kidney stones. They both hurt and cause damage. But this toxic rag just isolates and stereotypes Borderlines more and makes healthy relationships and assistance that much further out of tech. If you have been adversely affected by someone with borderline or narcissistic disorder please share your story, and find support you do deserve to be heard too. But while doing so please try to understand that the other person who is mentally ill, did what they did to you probably out of lack of education of good coping skills, emotional control issues, and a place of deep fear of abandonment. Instead of throwing at them 1,000 different “you, you, you’s” encourage them to seek help, encourage them to become self aware and identify what they’re really feeling instead of what they’re projecting …. And please protect yourselves emotionally, financially, and for your safety while dealing with ANY emotionally unwell individuals. I have met some pretty narly Bi-polar sufferers who could put thee most seasoned gaslighting narcissist to shame. And none of thee above can wield the ability to instantaneously burn a whole situation to the ground and cause instantaneous panic and disorder like a dark empath. They are the most dangerous because you never see it, you don’t even suspect until it’s done been over and your reflecting …if ever at all. Please heed my warning and understand there are far worse things out there than a stable Borderline who has a mood swing for a couple hours because their feelings got hurt.

      5 people found this helpful

    • 5/5
      An eye opener! I really liked the practical advices ! My only regret is that I didn’t read it before!

      1 person found this helpful

    • 5/5
      If you have any reason to learn about Narcissism, this is a definite book to turn to. There is so much information here. Reading this, you will very likely know if you are living with one. Good reference source.

      3 people found this helpful

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    Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist - Margalis Fjelstad

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